College Composition I:Unit 8 Seminar

Susan W. Trestrail, M.S. Ed. Instructor

Unit 8 Work Reading

Proofreading Editing

Unit 8 Work

Discussion: First, in your original posting, copy and paste two

sentences from your existing paper’s draft that you would like to edit using the Paramedic Method.

Then edit and revise the sentences using this method. Finally, ask any questions you may have about editing

and revision. Be sure to respond to at least two of your classmates’

postings by offering two alternate revisions of their sentences. In other words, create two completely new, edited sentences based on the sentences your classmates posted from their drafts. These sentences are not “better” or “worse” than the classmates’ edited and revised sentences, but they demonstrate that many ways exist to edit and revise sentences.

Unit 8 Work Seminar

You’re here! Only one left! Go you!

Unit 8 Work Get caught up!

No project No quiz Use your time wisely

Questions?

Lecture Proofreading and editing - completely

different things. Proofreading: Looking for errors in your draft. Editing: Fixing those errors.

Lecture Proofread:

Read your draft out loud. Awkward?

○ Too many words? ○ Words in the wrong order? ○ Missing punctuation?

Re-read.○ Why not post it to the Course Questions area? ○ Or even just email it to me or anyone else in the class

that you're working with? ○ Writing Center○ Family and friends

Lecture It's also good to know what kind of errors you

normally make. Not sure how or when to use commas? Spelling? Run-on sentences? Subject-verb agreement? Pronoun-antecedent agreement?

Once you know your weakness, you can look for it.

Lecture One good editing tool: Paramedic Method. It helps focus on sentences that are wordier

than they need to be. Have you ever caught yourself writing:

"Due to the fact that…" "In this day and age…" "For all intents and purpose…" "Who is a…" Or even just adding in words like "really,"

"basically," "kind of"?

Lecture Paramedic Revision:

Unless you’re a grammar freak like me, it’s hard. Sorry!

But it can be very helpful. (Even if you don’t do it the "right" way.)

Lecture First step: Locate all the “weak"

verbs. You may have learned

of them as "helping" verbs or "being" verbs. They can also be called "linking" verbs.

Is Are Was Were Being Had Having And more!

Lecture Second step:

Find the prepositions Prepositions give position in time and space, and

there is a list of them available at: http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/prepositions-list.htm

Some common ones: of, in, during, before, after, over, under, around, with, between…

Lecture Test for prepositions involves finding a word

you think is a preposition and putting it in the following sentence: The squirrel ran __________ the tree. If the word fits in, it’s probably a preposition.

Lecture Once you’ve found the being verbs and the

prepositions, you want to try to remove them. In the case of the verbs, you will want to try to

replace them with stronger verbs. In the case of the prepositions, you will want to try

to re-work the sentence in order to remove them.

Lecture  First example: "I am a race-car driver.“

I drive race cars. I race cars.

Lecture Example:"The boy with the blue hair...“ Fixed: "The blue-haired boy."

Lecture Example:

They had an argument at the house of their neighbor. Weak verb: had Prepositions: at, of

Fix: They argued at their neighbor’s house.

Questions?

Practice If Julia does not keep her job, it will be due to

the fact that she has not arrived on time every single day.

Weak verbs: does, will be, has Prepositions: due to, on

Practice If Julia loses her job, it will be due to the fact

that she has not arrived on time every single day.

My fix:If Julia loses her job, it's because she's always late.

One handy piece of advice - don't use negatives. Instead of "does not keep" - replace it with a positive. I chose "loses.”

Practice Jerome is a writer who has plenty of ideas and

not enough time in his daily activity to allow him to write.

Weak verbs: is, has Prepositions: of, in

Practice Jerome is a writer who has plenty of ideas and

not enough time in his daily activity to allow him to write.

My fix:While Jerome has ideas, he has no time to write.

Practice Protecting our children while they research on

the Internet is an activity which can take a lot of time and attention to achieve.

  Weak verbs: is, can Prepositions: on, of

Practice Protecting our children while they research on

the Internet is an activity which can take a lot of time and attention to achieve.

My fix: Successfully protecting children while they do Internet research can be time-consuming.

Practice The person with the purple hair left a car in

the parking lot of the mall. 

Weak verbs: none Prepositions: with, in, of

Practice The person with the purple hair left a car in

the parking lot of the mall.

My fix: The purple-haired person parked a car in the mall's lot.

 

Practice We left the keys on the table of the house

owned by our boss. 

Weak verbs: none Prepositions: on, of, by

Practice We left the keys on the table of the house

owned by our boss.  My fix:

We left the keys on our boss's table.

Questions?

College Composition I:Unit 8 Seminar

The End