coach your way to leadership success your way to... · 2019-08-28 · what i hope you get...

Coach Your Way to Leadership Success

Essential coaching and mentoring skills to help the people around you to be the best they can be

Guy Harris The Recovering Engineer www.recoveringengineer.com

Master Trainer and Coach The Kevin Eikenberry Group www.kevineikenberry.com

A Question for You to Consider

What is the most important thing, idea, or concept that you want to get from our time together?

© 2012 Guy Harris The Recovering Engineer www.kevineikenberry.com

www.recoveringengineer.com 2

What I Hope You Get

Understand the critical difference between coaching and

discipline.

Why leaders need to become better coaches.

How to apply the ABC’s of coaching.

How to have a successful coaching conversation.

Understand the sources of your feedback power.

How to use the four types of feedback.

Tips for taking control of the situation to effectively handle

conflict & angry people.

How to manage your emotions and coach under pressure.

© 2012 Guy Harris The Recovering Engineer

www.kevineikenberry.com www.recoveringengineer.com

3

A Coach gives instruction or advice.

Coaching is mainly focused on performance and behaviors.

A Mentor is a wise and trusted counselor or teacher.

Mentoring is focused on career choices, life decisions, etc.

Mentoring usually includes some coaching. Coaching doesn’t necessarily include mentoring.



Coaching vs. Mentoring

Coaching is about…

Improving good performance or

Helping someone to avoid discipline

Discipline is about…

Improving poor performance or unacceptable behaviors

Warning someone about impending actions that could have negative implications for their employment



Coaching vs. Discipline

Coaching

Minimum Acceptable Performance

Discipline



Coaching vs. Discipline

Acceptable

Excellent

Not Acceptable

Termination

1. To get better, faster, more accurate results from your team.

2. To build on past successes.

3. To learn about and correct mistakes and process problems.

4. To find and leverage team member’s hidden strengths and motivations .

5. To identify team member’s blind spots or weaknesses that can be improved.

6. To learn what you can do to contribute to team success.

7. To find out what you are doing that limits team success.



Seven Reasons to Become a Better Coach

1. Accountability

Both directions

2. Belief

Pygmalion effect – people tend to perform up or down to your expectations of them

3. Conversation

Dialogue, not monologue



The ABC’s of Coaching Success

1. Position

Automatic

2. Expertise

Based on the other person’s belief

3. Relationship

Based on trust



Sources of Feedback Power

1. Position

2. Expertise

3. Relationship

Important Point!

The more you have of all three, the less your technique matters.



Sources of Feedback Power

• Negative Feedback – any negative comment about past behavior

– “Do more _______.”

• Positive Feedback – any positive comment about past behavior

– “Do less _______.”



Types of Feedback

• Negative Feed forward – any negative comment about future behavior

– “The next time this situation comes up, don’t do ____.”

• Positive Feed forward – any positive comment about future behavior

– “The next time this situation comes up, do ____.”



Types of Feedback



How to Handle Conflict & Angry People

(This should only be an issue during discipline conversations.)

First… What causes anger?



Anger…

Is not a primary emotion

Is almost always the result of something else

– A violated or unmet need that causes

• Fear

• Pain (emotional or physical)

• Both

15 © 2012 Guy Harris The Recovering Engineer www.kevineikenberry.com

www.recoveringengineer.com

An analogy…



Understanding Anger

17

Shaking The Bottle = Fear or Hurt

Creates

Foam/Explosion = Anger



How to Handle Angry People & Conflict

Take away “the shake”

Create a safe environment. – Remove sources of threat.

– Identify and address unmet needs.

– Let them vent.

Name (carefully) the underlying thought / perception / emotion. – Identify the fear or hurt.

18 © 2012 Guy Harris The Recovering Engineer www.kevineikenberry.com


1. Acknowledge and honor their perspective and feelings.

2. Focus on…

Issues rather than people

The future rather than the past

Commitments rather than justifications



How to Handle Angry People & Conflict



Managing Your Emotions and Coaching Under Pressure

Three Steps to Get Your Anger Under Control

Reflect • Name your fear or hurt.

Reframe • Look for a reasonable, positive interpretation of what you observed.

Re-engage • Speak assertively so that you have your concerns heard and

understood.

© 2012 Guy Harris The Recovering Engineer 21 www.kevineikenberry.com


Five Steps to Communicate Better When Stressed

SOLAR… 1. Stop

2. Observe

3. Listen

4. Adjust/reframe

5. Respond



22

Five Steps to Communicate Better When Stressed

1. Stop

2. Observe • What are the facts?

• What is objective?

• What is observable?

3. Listen • What is my story?

• What am I telling myself?

• What is my perception?

4. Adjust/reframe • Is my perception accurate?

• Is there another explanation?

• Do I see them clearly?

• Do I really understand their perspective?

5. Respond



23



Having a Successful Coaching Conversation

Start

Next Steps

Take action

Teach concepts to a colleague

Additional resources

– www.KevinEikenberry.com Other training options

– www.RecoveringEngineer.com Other learning resources

– www.DISCPersonalityTesting.com For better personal and professional growth



Your Questions?



coach your way to leadership success your way to... · 2019-08-28 · what i hope you get...

Documents