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speakingpresence.com

http://speakingpresence.com/2013/02/27/closing-the-presence-gap-simple-tools-for-rediscovering-this-innate-leadership-

ability/

Closing the Presence Gap: Simple tools for rediscovering this

innate leadership ability

February 27, 2013

(This article, in its original form, was written in 2009 and posted on my website: www.riverways.com. Ive since

reworked it slightly and wanted to share it in this blog space. The three people described below are each

composites of a number of clients who have come through my public speaking programs and services.)

Jane was bright, experienced, and the only f emale on her work team. Frustrated, she f elt that nothing she

said at team meetings was taken seriously and her participation was f requently discounted o r ignored.

When she came to me, she wanted to become more visible as a st rong member of her team.

Jim f ormed a small startup company with 3 other classmates af ter graduating fro m college and soonbecame director of marketing. At f irst enjoying his work, the bloom faded when his sales f orce grew to

twenty-f ive, all direct reports, many of them older than Jim. Naturally introverted, Jim wanted to overcome

his shyness and his anxiety about age dif f erences. They were limiting his ability to lead with conf idence.

Miriam, well regarded in her highly technical f ield, of ten spoke to conf erence audiences of 1,000 or more.

With a quick mind and enthusiasm fo r her subject matter, she tried to cover a wealth o f material, talking

quickly and packing her slides densely with information. Miriam f ound that her audiences of ten had trouble

understanding and absorbing the material she presented. She wondered what she needs to do to be more

ef f ective at conveying her message.

Each of these people was an expert in their f ield, with a solid f oundation in their subjectmatter. There was a gap, though, between their expertise and knowledge and their ability

to communicate ef f ectively. This gap hindered their ability to be truly ef f ective leaders.

As each o f them worked to strengthen their presence using some very simple strategies,

they became more inf luential and respected in t heir respective f ields.

Here are some of t he simple essent ial strate gies you too can use to develop your

leadership presence:

1. Slow down. By using the breath to slow your thoughts, you will be much more available

to the present moment.

This is of ten the mos t important step towards developing an ef f ective leadership

presence. In this culture o f adrenalin so up everything goes f ast . Day in, day out, people

are besieged by urgent demands on their time ubiquitous cell phone access, relentless

emails, increased workloads, and complicated f amily schedules so that they race f rom

one activity to another, attempting to multitask as they go. This state of continuous

urgency and information o verload is amplif ied by the racing thoughts accompanying the

st ress and anxiety that arise when people encounter uncomf ortable leadership

situations.

Presence arises when you take a deep breath, slow down, and pay attention to whats in f ront of you. By

doing so, you establish a rhythm and pacing that helps ot hers slow down and become present; and you

spark more ef f ective interactions.

2. Embody Presence: Bring all of yourself into a meeting or import ant presentat ion, not just your brains.

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People with real presence are comfortable in their own skin. Presence is a holist ic experience, where our

entire being mind, body and spirit is engaged, not just our minds alone. At the same time, when a person

is f ully embodied, she authentically engages the human beings in her audience, not just their thoughts.

One simple but ef f ective mechanism for developing body awareness while

speaking is to f ocus o n how you are making contact with the so lid ground while

presenting. When anchoring attention to your physical experience and also

connect ing with the audience while delivering the message, you bring more o f

yourself to each interaction. This has the ef f ect of drawing your audience

to wards you and engaging their interest and regard. It does take practice as it

requires multiple awarenesss at once.

3. The power o f the relationship: Place a priority on connecting with your audience rather than your material.

This is paradoxical f or most people. When asked to give a talk or speak up in a meeting, their f ocus is

naturally drawn to the subject matter and how to convey it. But the truth is t hat ef f ectiveness as speakers

and leaders is less about what is said and more about who you are and how well you connect with your

audience. People respond to a message because o f authent icity, humanity, and ability to connect. If a

speaker focuses entirely on himself and the material, he creates an experience of separation and is notavailable to connect with his audience.

Instead, if you give careful thought to why you are speaking, what you want the

audience to leave with, and how you can be helpful to them, you will invite the

audience to join you. Ironically, when your relationship with the audience becomes

the priority rather yourself , youll be less anxious, your thoughts will quiet down,

and your audience will trust you more.

Here are several simple ways to invite the audience in:

Maintain eye contact with a sof t, recept ive gaze even while thinking. Linger with each person, t ruly seethem, say hello to them in your mind as you speak.

Think of it as a conversat ion rather than a presentation. Speak naturally as if you were having cof f ee with

a f riend.

Ask yourself : How can I be of service? Instead of : How can I be perf ect and show my expertise?

Let yourself be human! Dont t ry to be perfect. Making mistakes is OK, its part of human nature. The best

way to do this is not to take yourself to o seriously. We are the most engaging when our audience sees that

we are accessible and human just like they are.

Leadership enhanced with presence.

To enhance their leadership presence, Jane, Jim and Miriam began to incorporate these strategies into their

daily interactions. While doing so, each placed special emphasis on one practice.

As Jane became more f ully embodied in her meetings, she noticed that while her vo ice wasnt necessarily

louder, there was more power behind her words and her team members began to listen more and consider

her opinions.

Jim started to place a priority on connecting with the human beings on his sales team rather than f ocusing

his shyness and the diff erences in age, and he found himself more able to align with them and garner their

respect.

Miriam f ound when she slowed down and too k a breath between each major po int and eliminated much of

the detail in her presentat ions, her audiences were able to absorb more o f her message.

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In accessing their own natural presence, these t hree leaders f ound themselves to be much more ef f ective

in communicating their message while enjoying themselves more as well.