chapter 8: gendered close relationships copyright © 2005 wadsworth 1 chapter eight: gendered close...
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth
Chapter Eight:Chapter Eight:
Gendered Close RelationshipsGendered Close Relationships
gendered lives
““The doors we open and The doors we open and close each day decide close each day decide
the lives we live.”the lives we live.”
~ Flora Whittenmore~ Flora Whittenmore
Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth
The Meaning of The Meaning of Personal RelationshipsPersonal Relationships
• Personal Relationships are Ones in
Which Partners…
Depend on Each Other for Affection to
Material Assistance
Are Interdependent
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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The Meaning of The Meaning of Personal RelationshipsPersonal Relationships
• Personal Relationships are Ones in
Which Partners…
Expect Affection, Companionship,
Energy, and Assistance
Regard Each Other as Unique
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Gendered Patterns in Gendered Patterns in Personal RelationshipsPersonal Relationships
• Male Deficit Model
Men Less Skilled in Developing and
Sustaining Personal Relationships
Emotional Talk Hallmark of Intimacy
Men Less Intimate than Women
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Gendered Patterns in Gendered Patterns in Personal RelationshipsPersonal Relationships
• Alternative Paths Model
Agrees That Socialization Root of M/F
Differences in Styles of Relating
However, it Does not Presume that
Men Lack Feelings or Emotional Depth
Men Do Express Closeness in Ways
they Understand and Value
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Gendered Styles of FriendshipGendered Styles of Friendship
• Similarities in Women’s and Men’s
Friendships
Both Value Close Friends
Both Engage in Instrumental and
Expressive Expressions of Closeness
Vary in Degree of Use
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Gendered Styles of FriendshipGendered Styles of Friendship
• Differences in Women’s and
Men’s Friendships Women
Face-to-Face
Directly and Verbally
MenSide-by-Side
Engage in Activities
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Women’s Friendships: Women’s Friendships: Closeness in DialogueCloseness in Dialogue
• Share Personal Feelings
• Want to Know Each other In Depth
• Communication Open and Expressive
• Empathize and Feel Emotionally Connected
• Explicit Talk about Relationship
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth
Women’s Friendships: Women’s Friendships: Closeness in DialogueCloseness in Dialogue
• Difficulty in Dealing with Envy and
Competition
• Difficulty Overriding Socialization to Be
Constantly Available and Caring
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Men’s Friendships: Closeness Men’s Friendships: Closeness in the Doingin the Doing
• Activities Center of Friendships
• Instrumental Focus
• Covert Intimacy
• Often Limited in Scope
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Friendship Between Friendship Between Women and MenWomen and Men• Often View Other in Sexual Terms
• Sex-Segregation Socialization
• Men Receive Greater Emotional Support
• Women Receive Less Intense Companionship
• Men Talk More, Demand More Attention
and Support than They Offer
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Gendered Romantic Gendered Romantic RelationshipsRelationships• Feminine Women and Masculine Men are Desirable
• Men Should Initiate, Plan, and Direct Activities
• Women Should Facilitate Conversation, Generally
Defer to Men, but Control Sexual Behavior.
• Men Should Excel in Status and Earning Money,
Women Should Assume Primary Responsibility for
Relationship, Home, and Children.
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Developing Romantic IntimacyDeveloping Romantic Intimacy• Men Take the Initiative
• Men Fall in Love Faster and Harder
• Men See Love as Taking Trips to Romantic Places, Spontaneous Love Making
• Women Think of Extended Conversations, Sharing Deep Feelings, Physical Contact
• Gay Couples Likely to Have Best-Friend Relationships with Sex The Internet: Sex, Gender, and Relationships
http://www.cyberparent.com/gender/
The Internet: Sex, Gender, and Relationshipshttp://www.cyberparent.com/gender/
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Engaging in Committed Engaging in Committed RelationshipsRelationships• Four Primary Dimensions of Love
Relationships:
Modes of Expressing Affection
Gendered Preferences for Autonomy and Connection
Gendered Responsibility for Relational Health
Gendered Power Dynamics
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Modes of Expressing AffectionModes of Expressing Affection
• Conversations about Feelings and
Daily Activities is Primary for Women
• Women and Men often have Different
Views of Intimacy Women Express Intimacy with Self-
Disclosure and Emotional Support.
Men Express Intimacy by Doing Things
for Romantic Partner
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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AutonomyAutonomy ConnectionConnection
Masculine individualstypically want greaterautonomy
Feminine individuals generally wantgreater connection
Differences in desire for autonomy and connection can lead to problems
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Responsibility for Responsibility for Relational HealthRelational Health• Women Viewed as Relationship Experts
and Assume the Primary Burden
• Expectations for Responsibilities Can
Lead to Problems.
Greater Satisfaction When Shared
• Lesbian Partners Tend to Be Most Equal
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Gendered Power DynamicsGendered Power Dynamics• Masculine Socialization Creates
Expectations of Male Dominance• Division of Labor Reflects Gendered
Power Dynamics Labor Divided Unequally in the Home “Second Shift” Duties Typically Woman’s
Responsibilities Psychological Responsibility Increases
Burdens of Second Shift Duties Consequences of Second Shift Include Stress,
Fatigue, Illness, and Resentment
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Couples’ Patterns of InfluenceCouples’ Patterns of Influence
• Husbands’ Preferences and Desires Count More
• In Conflict, Masculine Individuals More Typically Leave or Deny Problem
• In Conflict, Feminine Individuals Initiate Discussion or Become Loyal to Partner
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
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Patterns of Violence and AbusePatterns of Violence and Abuse• Violence Typically Inflicted by Masculine
Individuals
• Greater Incidence of Violence in Cultures with Male Dominance
• A Feminine Orientation May Create Situations where Violence is Tolerated to Keep Relationships and Families Intact
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships
Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth
gendered lives