Social Lives of School Children

Chapter Eleven Discussion Questions

Vocabulary

follow-through enforcing of consequences following a warning and pause

habitual anti-social behaviour destructive behaviour carried out without thought

inhibiting consequences strategies that encourage/enhance self control. Use of constructive actions aimed at helping children realize the impact of their behaviour on self and others

logical consequences consequences directly related to the rule violated. Their goal is to help students learn appropriate behaviours or repair damages through three actions

rehearsal practice of appropriate action:

restitution offer repair/amends for misbehaviour

temporary loss of abused privilege

natural consequences consequences that happen without intervention from adults (eg: refusing to wear a jacket = feel cold)

punishment a consequence enforced by an adult that is not related to the problem behaviour. It detracts from the acquisition of self-control and gains only temporary compliance. (eg: forbidding television for not completing homework)

sitting apart temporary removal of a child from an activity or group because they are causing harm or disruption but isn't engaged in a temper tantrum or habitual anti-social behaviour

temper tantrum intense emotional and physical response that overwhelms a child's normal though processes

time-out removal of a child from a situation or activity for a brief period of time to help him/her retain control of their emotions

unrelated consequences consequences manufactured by adults that is unrelated to the behavioural offence. It is sometimes necessary when the natural consequence would be dangerous or harmful to a child

attention seekers children who demand constant and undue attention

hopeless children children who have given up all prospects of gaining power/attention

power seekers children who exert power blatantly

Discussion Questions

1. List the various reasons why children misbehave and a related solution(s)

Reason for MisbehaviourSolution to Misbehaviour

Children are unsure of the rules and how to follow themCheck that the rules are clear, age-appropriate and provide guidance for alternate, acceptable behaviours

Children can't figure out which actions to substitute for unacceptable onesProvide guidance for alternate, acceptable behaviours

Adults have unreasonable expectations for children's behaviourCheck that the rules are age and developmentally appropriate

Children are acting on impulse (impulsivity decreases with age)Slow children down with physical interventions, verbal strategies or a combination of both

Teach children self-instructional (self-talk) strategies to inhibit impulses or temptation

Children have a mistaken perception about how to gain status or power (power seeking children, attention seeking children, and hopeless children)Recognize and acknowledge the misconceptions

Help children learn alternate methods for establishing self-worth

There are contradictory rulesWork with other elements of a child's mesosystem to limit contradictions in expectations and rules

Explain to the child that different adults have different expectations or standards for behavior

Children do not respect rules that they find silly or unnecessaryExplain the reasoning for rules

Involve children in discussions about the problems that could arise if a rule is not following and brainstorm possible solutions

Child receives mixed messages about a rule (Caregiver fails to reward compliance/ignores noncompliance)Enforce a limited number of rules consistently

Child is testing the limits to determine where boundaries occur and whether rules will be enforced consistentlyEnforce a limited number of rules consistently

2. Explain the mistaken perceptions that may prompt children's misbehaviour and describe strategies to alter those perceptions.

Mistaken PerceptionDescriptionDisordered BeliefsSolutions

Attentions seekersChildren that demand constant undue attentionChild believes their self-worth is contingent on being noticed by othersIgnore minor bids to gain attention and wait for a child to demonstrate more appropriate actions before giving attentions

With more serious bids for attention, reflect the child's desire for attention and then explain that it will not be given until they demonstrate a more desirable behaviour

Power seekersChildren who exert their power blatantly by using brunt force or consistently resisting the requests of othersChildren often have no legitimate power over their own livesGive a child opportunities for genuine power within the classroom by offering choices, allowing them to make decisions and requesting their participation in planning lessons

Hopeless childrenChildren who have given up all prospects of gaining power or attention. They may act withdrawn and helpless or violent and vengefulThey feel rejected by others and resort to aggressive behaviour in an attempt to be noticed or withdrawing/helpless behaviour as a way of lowering expectationsRequire nurturing relationships with adults to correct their feelings of worthlessness

Require opportunities to experience genuine success

Do not do for a child what they are capable of doing for themselves (do not reinforce the helpless cycle)

3. Discuss the similarities and differences between positive consequences, inhibiting consequences and punishments

Positive Consequences

Inhibiting Consequences

-meant to reinforce behaviour by -meant to reinforce or shape behaviour

offering a positive experience following by providing a negative experience

proper behaviour (praise, personal following a rule infraction

messages, showing positive results -related to

of compliance, earned privilege and behaviour-addresses rule infractions

rewards

-follow

-immediately follow positive behaviour immediately

-may take the form of

-attempt to

rehearsal, retribution

prevent problem or temporary loss

behaviour of related privilege

-follow a rule

infraction

-doesn't educate a student about how to behave

-punishment is unrelated to rule infraction

-doesn't always follow concurrently (in time)

-temporarily causes a cessation of problem

behaviour (often returns)

Punishment

4. Positive, natural, logical and unrelated consequences for the following rules

RulePositiveNaturalLogicalUnrelated

Walk, don't run, down the hallI like how softly you're walking down the hall JudyJudy falls while running in the hallHave Judy rehearse walking down the hall instead of runningJudy misses recess for running in the hall

Throw the ball, don't kick itI like how carefully you're throwing the ball to MaryThe ball gets brokenJudy practices throwing the call ten times to the teacherJuly had to write lines about how she will not throw the ball in the future

Only use your own gym towelI like that your wrote your name on your towel Judy, so that you'd remember which one was yoursJudy gets lice from sharing her towel with MaryJudy practices using her own gym towel by showing the teacher she's brought it with herJudy misses the next three gym classes

Handle the computer keyboard gentlyI like how gentle you're being with the keyboard JudyJudy breaks the computer keyboardJudy temporarily loses her computer privileges Judy misses recess for her behaviour in computers

Wall on the sidewalk, not in the flower bedYou remembered that the sidewalk is for people to walk onJudy kills the flowers and the owner of the house gets angryJudy needs to replant the damaged plantsJudy is given detentions

Tell someone when you need helpThe teacher points out how many new words Judy has learned by asking the teacher the meaning of unfamiliar ones when readingJudy fails her spelling test because she doesn't understand silent lettersTeacher demonstrates appropriate methods for asking for help at circle timeJudy has to correct her work during lunch period

Call people by their real names, don't mock people's namesYou've worked hard to learn how to pronounce __'s name Judy. I bet he feels good to be called by the right name.Judy get's kicked by ___ on the playground for calling him by a different nameJudy makes an apology card for _____ (only a logical consequence if she is genuinely contrite)Judy is given a ten minute time-out

5. Discuss the importance of following through on consequences as well as the results of not doing so.

Children naturally want to test boundaries in order to derive a sense of security about the consistency and reliability of their caregivers. Caregivers who inconsistently apply consequences make children feel insecure in their setting. These children are more likely to ignore rules or consistently test and retest in an attempt to establish wavering boundaries. If rules are applied inconsistently, children are also less likely to understand the connections between their behaviours and consequences and, therefore, will be slower to attain higher levels of self-control. Finally, children who experience inconsistent rule enforcement (or long delays between rule infractions and enforcement) are more likely to view their caregivers as vengeful.

6. Referring to the NAEYC Code of Ethical Conduct in Appendix A, identify the principles or ideals that will help you determine an ethical course of action in the following situations:

SummaryNAEYC PrinciplesEthical Course of Action

A parent is walking with her child to the car. Suddenly the child dashes away from her into the busy parking lot. The parent, obviously frightened, grabs the child and smacks her three times saying, You scared the life out of me. Never do that again. You are getting out of your car and witness the interaction.When we have reasonable cause to suspect child abuse or neglect, we shall report it to the appropriate community agency and follow up to ensure that appropriate action has been taken.

I would consider the context of the situation and my former dealings with that family and child. If it appeared to be an isolated incident then I would confidentially discuss the situation with the parent, offer them some resources for effective and non-punitive discipline strategies and keep a close record for any signs of future incidents.

If I felt it was a regular pattern of behaviour, or the child demonstrated characteristics of being abused I would report it.

You notice a colleague in the hallway arguing with her own child (4 years old) who is enrolled in the program. The child is screaming and trying to pull away as the adult escorts him toward the door. Suddenly the adult turns the child around and gives him two swats on the bottom. You and several children from your class see the incident.P-3A.2 When we have concerns about the professional behaviour of a co-worker, we shall first let that person know of our concern in a way that shows respect for personal dignity and for the diversity to be found among staff members, and then attempt to resolve the matter collegialy and in a confidential manner.

P-3B.4 if we have concerns about a colleague's behaviour, and [a child] is at risk or the situation doesn't improve after it has been brought to the colleague's attention, we shall report the colleague's unethical or incompetent behaviour tot he appropriate authorityI would discuss the colleague's behaviour with her first and then, if they continued in such behaviour, speak to a supervisor.

I would want to the colleague to include some discussion about making a mistake with my students as a form of reparation.

A large group of third graders are playing T-ball on the playground. Another adult comes to you and says, I have to go in now. I told Jeff he couldn't play T-ball any more today because of his fighting. Please make sure he doesn't play T-ball. The adult goes inside. There are 30 minutes left to play. A few minutes later Jeff, who has been watching from the sidelines, is called into the game by his friends. He looks to you and says, I've learned my lesson. Can't I play?P-3A.1 We shall recognize the contributions of colleagues to our program and not participate in practices that diminish their reputations or impair their effectiveness in working with children and families

Enforce the consequence that has been laid out. If you disagree with the severity or nature of the consequence then it's your ethical responsibility to discuss that privately with your colleague rather than publicly disavowing it or allowing for inconsistency. (obviously there would be exception it it were an unethical punishment)

7. How would you respond to another helping professional who said: the skill sequence takes too long. Besides, children can't respond to so much talking. Just tell them what's not allowed and be done with it.

Skill Sequence personal message

teacher uses proximity (comes close to the child) and using their name, reminds them of the rule being broken

-pause

teacher uses a pause to see if the child will alter their behaviour

-warning

teacher tells the child what the consequence will be if they fail to alter their behaviour

-pause

child is given the opportunity to digest and comply

-follow-through

teacher immediately follows through on promised consequence

The use of the skill sequence is important for a teacher to be consistent in their dealings of rule infractions. It provides them with a script to follow in all situations. This is particularly useful when a teacher is emotionally charged (angry, disappointed) by the situation. The script provides the child with the information they need (and does not bog them down with unnecessary information).

A child is better able to develop self-management of their behaviour because it treats the child with respect and he/she is given the opportunity to comply at each stage of the process. It provides clear differentiation between the behaviour and child. While a child will typically test boundaries when the sequence is first introduced, they will quickly learn to comply at the earliest stages of the sequence. Through this process they move from being externally controlled (by the teacher) to being internally regulating with the assistance of behaviour cues.

9/10. - What is the process of time-outs, when should they be used and when should they not be used?

A time-out is a short-term removal of a child from a highly charged situation in order to help them calm down. It should not be used except in when the child is engaged in a temper tantrum or habituation anti-social behaviours. A time-out should be conducted in a place that is safe, with minimal distractions and a supervising adult. A time out should never be extended beyond the time that it takes for a child to calm down. A time-out is not intended to be used as a punishment, but as an opportunity for a child to disengage from an upsetting situation and recover control over their emotions. In this way, children who recognize their own emotions spiralling and chose to take a time out ought to be praised and encouraged for doing so.

Time-out should not be used to humiliate, punish, threaten or as an alternative for instructing alternatives for problem behaviours. Children who are disturbing or harming others may be expected to sit apart from her/his peers but this should be considered separate from a time-out. A time-out should only be used for intense emotional fits.