THE CHALLENGES AND REWARDS OF A VISITOR FOR THE AGE UK LIFE STORY PROJECT

For me, as a visiting volunteer for the Life Story Project, It is challenging and rewarding in equal measures.

The rewards are that I get to meet some really nice people – both residents and their families. I also get to spend time with the resident on a ‘one – one – basis’ which they may not otherwise get.

As we get to know each other I find that they sometimes tell me their little ‘secrets’ and it’s nice to know that they have that trust in me. With a little coaxing they start to remember events in their life which may have been dormant for years.

The big reward is when they are presented with their book. It is a lovely memento for them and a nice legacy for their family and I feel proud to have played a part in the book’s production.

The main challenge, is probably the non- participation of care staff and some of the homes. I often arrive at the home to find that the resident has not been informed of my visit and they are confused and suspicious as to what it is all about – no one has bothered to explain to them why I am visiting.

I also think that the care home staff sometimes view me as an Age UK ‘ spy’ – “why is she here?, “what is she doing?”

Care homes also nominate people without giving any real though as to whether the person is suitable for the project. Sadly it is a fact of life that it can be an impossibility to obtain a story from some people who have dementia and do not have the support of close family. Care homes should be more selective in their nominations.

I must stress that these homes are in the minority and generally I am very well received.

CHALLENGE AND REWARD MEET FACE TO FACE.

My very first Life Story visit was to see a gentleman called bob. I was a bit nervous because it was new territory to me and I arrived at the home fully expecting to be introduced to bob and to carry on from there.

First of all no – one bothered to introduce me- carer vaguely waved a hand in the direction of a man who was standing up with his walking frame. I went to him to introduce myself and someone shouted “That’s not Bob – He’s the one sitting down with the blanket over his knees.”

I then went to Bob and started to explain why I was there to be greeted with “I’m not interested – I don’t want to do it! “ I felt awful – as if I was invading his privacy. I waited 10/15 minutes and decided to try another approach. I asked bob if he would just come and chat to me for a few minutes as I had come especially to see him. He reluctantly agreed and we chatted uncomfortably for about 30 minutes.

I then told him I was going but would it be OK for me to return the following week. Unenthusiastically he replied “I suppose so” so the following week, with great trepidation, I went into the lounge- Bob looked up at me and said “I’m glad you’re here- I’ve got things to tell you.” He was a different person and I think that he’d had time to reflect and realised that the visits were to be just for him and he would have me to himself for that time.

After that we got on really well – he made me laugh so much when he told me some of the things he’d got up to (some of them never made it into the story!) and there were many expletives throughout!

We became, and still are, good friends – so much so that he asked me to marry him!