casenote family relationship problems

A series of reports on issues facing children today

casenotesChi ldL ine

Children talking to ChildLine about familyrelationship problems

Key findingsIn 2006/07, 20,586 children and youngpeople spoke to ChildLine about familyrelationship problems, representing12 per cent of all calls.

As well as the 20,586 callers, 22,704children and young people rang to talkabout another issue but also mentionedfamily relationship problems.

In total, 43,290 children and youngpeople spoke to ChildLine in 2006/07about family relationship problems (eitherspecifically or among other subjects),making it by far the most commonlydiscussed issue overall.

The figures that follow refer to a sample ofthe data from calls to ChildLine about familyrelationship problems (see methodologysection for more details).

In 2006/07, 4,215 children and youngpeople in the sample spoke to ChildLineabout conflict between themselves andtheir parents. Some of these callersdescribed very serious conflict. Eighteenper cent talked about being physicallyabused and 12 per cent said that theyhad been emotionally abused.

Parents/carers abusing alcohol was anissue mentioned often by those whocalled ChildLine to talk about conflictbetween themselves and their parents.

In 2006/07, 395 children and youngpeople in the sample spoke to ChildLinebecause they were worried about conflictbetween their parents. In some cases,they talked about violence between theirparents that they had witnessed andfound very distressing.

Children and young people who calledChildLine about conflict in their family oftentalked about their parents’ separation ordivorce, the emotional turmoil that one orboth parents were suffering as a result, andthe impact that the break-up had had onthem and on other members of the family.Many callers talked about feeling confusedas to what had caused their parents’separation and about being worried that itmight be their fault.

Many children who called ChildLine to talkabout conflict within their family also talkedabout physical abuse. In the majority of casesthis was perpetrated by parents against themor their siblings, though in some cases callerswere physically abused by siblings.

In 2006/07, 56 children and young peoplecalled ChildLine about being a carer. Half ofthis group were either caring for an adult(mainly a parent) who was disabled, who hadan illness (mental or physical) that had leftthem unable to care for themselves, or whohad debilitating drug or alcohol problems,while the other half were caring for siblings.

A lot of the young carers who calledChildLine talked about feeling very stressedand pressured by the responsibilities thatthey had, and about feeling unsupported,with problems such as not having enoughtime for themselves or to see friends, andfalling behind with schoolwork as a result oftrying to fulfil their caring duties.

ChildLine also received calls from youngpeople (under the age of 18) who werestruggling to cope with being a parent, withone in five of them being under the age of15. Some were struggling so much theywere concerned that they might smack orhit their child.

1. Evidence: whatchildren and youngpeople tell ChildLine

1.1 Definitions and methodologyWhen a child or young person talks toChildLine, the counsellor should be able toascertain basic details such as the age andgender of the caller, identify the main reasonwhy the caller rang ChildLine, and who theperson responsible for or involved in the mainproblem is (eg, if the caller is having problemsin their relationship with his/her mother thiswould be recorded as “person responsible –mother”). Counsellors also note down anyadditional problems that are subsequentlydiscussed. Details from the written record arelater transferred onto a database andcategorised according to the nature of theproblem/s. For example, if a child calls totalk about arguing with their mother butthen goes on to talk about being bulliedat school, the call would be logged as:

Main problem: family relationshipAdditional problem: bullyingPerson responsible: mother

In the majority of cases this is the onlyinformation that is recorded about callers.However, if the counsellor has concernsabout the safety of the caller, feels that theymay be at risk of serious harm and/or thecounsellor thinks that it is likely that the callerwill ring ChildLine back, then more detailedinformation is recorded and a summary ofthe discussion that takes place is input intothe database.

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Chi ldL ine casenotesFamily relationship problems

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2. StatisticsThis casenote reports what children andyoung people told ChildLine about familyrelationship problems between April 2006and March 2007. During this period, 20,586children and young people called ChildLinespecifically to talk about relationshipproblems within their immediate family. Thisrepresents 12 per cent of all callers, makingit the second most common specific reason(after bullying) that children and youngpeople give for calling ChildLine.

In addition to the 20,586 children and youngpeople who called ChildLine in 2006/07specifically to speak about family relationshipproblems, a further 22,704 called to talkabout other issues, but also mentionedproblems within their family of one sort oranother. For example, one 12-year-old girlcalled ChildLine to talk about being bullied atschool but went on to say: “I haven’t gotanyone to talk to about the bullying, mymum and dad are never around.”

This means that, overall (including callers forwhom family relationship problems are the

main reason for calling and also callers forwhom it is an additional problem that theymention), family relationship problems are byfar the most commonly discussed issue forchildren and young people.

For the majority (61 per cent) of the callerswhere family relationships were given as themain reason for calling, only the basic datawere recorded, ie, gender, age, mainproblem, additional problem (where therewas one) and person responsible (where thiswas applicable). This analysis of the calls toChildLine between April 2006 and March2007, where the main reason for calling wasfamily relationship problems, is based on asample of records from the 39 per cent ofcallers for whom a detailed account of thediscussion was recorded. The findings arenot necessarily representative of all callsabout family relationship problems but theydo provide a useful snapshot of the sorts ofproblems children and young peopleexperience. Where direct quotes fromchildren and young people have been usedin this casenote, identifying details have beenchanged to protect the identities of callers.

2.1 Children and young people (CYP) counselled in 2006/07 who said that familyrelationship problems (FRP) were their main reason for calling.

Number of girls Number of boys Total number of % of all CYPcounselled counselled CYP counselled counselledabout FRP about FRP about FRP about FRP

Records with full details 6,173 1,801 7,974 39%No further informationavailable, ie, basic details,no text 9,115 3,497 12,612 61%Total callers where FRP isthe main problem 15,288 5,298 20,586 100%


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Subcategory Number % of girls Number % of boys Total number % of CYPof FRP of girls counselled of boys counselled of CYP counselled

counselled about counselled about counselled aboutabout specific about specific about specificspecific aspect of specific aspect of specific aspect ofaspect of FRP from aspect of FRP from aspect of FRP fromFRP from coded FRP from coded FRP from codedcoded records total coded records total coded records total

records total records total records total

Conflict with parents 3,304 82% 911 84% 4,215 83%Conflict with siblings 609 15% 163 15% 772 15%Conflict betweenparents 315 28% 80 7% 395 8%Sibling favoured 281 7% 55 5% 336 7%Under 18swith children –coping problems 99 2% 4 0% 103 2%Young carer 25 0% 3 0% 28 0%Carer sibling 23 0% 5 0% 28 0%

2.2 Type of family relationship problem (FRP) that children and young people (CYP) werecounselled about in 2006/07.b (From the sample records these figures represent those recordswhere we have full details (ie, the 7,974 total) and that have sub-coded data.

These subcategories are very diverse, ie, the problems faced by young carers are very different tothose faced by young people who are concerned about conflict between their parents. Records forone hundred children and young people from each subcategory were analysed, and the main themesfor each were drawn out.c It was then possible to identify common themes. As is clear from thefigures, only a very small number of children were counselled about some subcategory issues, suchas being a young carer. However, the experiences of these few are as important as those of any otherchild counselled and therefore small subcategories have been given the same equal attention in thiscasenote as larger subcategories.

In addition to the thematic analysis of asample of records from calls about familyrelationship problems, a focus group wasconducted with ChildLine counsellors inorder to supplement the data with theirunique insights into what issues childrenface in terms of problems within theirimmediate families.

In ChildLine’s caller record system, thereare a variety of subcategories for familyrelationship problems. These include:

conflict with parentsconflict with siblingsconflict between parentssibling favoured (ie, the caller feels that theirsibling is preferred by their parents or carers),under 18s with children – coping problems(ie, young people who are struggling tocope with being a parent)young carer (ie, callers who are the maincarer for an adult member of their family)a

carer sibling (ie, callers who are the maincarer for a brother or sister)

a From November 2006, “young carer” and “carer sibling” were no longer sub-codes, but now a “tagging code”,which can be attached to a record with any main problem. Therefore, the totals are only representative of sevenmonths of the family relationships category.

b NB: percentages do not add up to 100 because in some cases more than one sub-code may apply.

c For subcategories where there were less than 100 children and young people’s records, eg, Young Carer/CarerSibling, all records were analysed rather than just a sample.

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3. Conflict with parentsIn 2006/07, over 4,000 (4,215) children andyoung people (of which 78 per cent were girls)spoke to ChildLine about conflict betweenthemselves and their parents. The majority ofthese tended to be teenagers, with 86 per centof callers being aged 12 or over (as comparedto 76 per cent of all callers to ChildLine beingin this age group). Some callers describedarguments with parents of the type that arecommon among young people, such as rowingwith parents about staying out past the timethat they were supposed to be home, parentsnot approving of boyfriends/girlfriends, or aboutcallers not having done household chores.

“I’ve been having very bad arguments with mymum. We recently had an argument about myhair and staying out late.” Girl, teenager.

“My mum is always shouting at me for spendinga lot of time on my computer and for not doingmy chores. It makes me feel sad and want to runaway.” Girl, teenager.

In some families, arguments between youngpeople and their parents were caused bydifferences of opinion about cultural issues, suchas what clothes parents thought young peopleshould be wearing (eg, whether Muslim youngwomen should be wearing a veil), or the extentto which young people observed cultural orreligious practices.

“I want to leave home…Dad doesn’t approveof my boyfriend and he won’t let me see him.I’m afraid he’s going to beat up my boyfriend.”Girl, teenager.

Some callers described very serious conflictbetween themselves and their parents. Eighteenper cent (735 callers) talked about beingphysically abused and 12 per cent (485 callers)said that they had been emotionally abused. One15-year-old girl told ChildLine: “I don’t get on withmy mum and dad. My dad hits me…I told themthat I’d call social services and they said that if Idid that I would be kicked out.”

In many cases, children and young people saidthat their parents had separated or divorced,and some said that the conflict betweenthemselves and their parents had started as aresult. For example, one 18-year-old boy said:

“I’ve just had a massive argument with mymum. It happens a lot. Today she threw all mystuff out on the street. It’s been bad since Dadleft.”

Many callers talked about their struggles toform relationships with parents’ new partners.“My stepdad is not my real dad. I don’t feelloved or included in anything but my youngerbrother is…I hate the atmosphere in thehouse.” Girl, aged 14.

In some cases, callers felt that their relationshipwith their birth parent was suffering as a resultof changes in the family, for example, one 12-year-old girl told ChildLine that: “My stepdadmoved in over the summer. I feel like mum andhim want me out of the family and that he hastaken my mum away...I want my mum back,I’ve tried talking to her but she doesn’t listenbecause she doesn’t want him to be cross withher.”

Parents or carers with alcohol problems werean issue mentioned often by children andyoung people calling ChildLine to talk aboutconflict between themselves and their parents.

“My parents have split up, mum has changed,she is always out, friends are always round andshe is always drinking...I told her how I feel butnothing has changed, then I told Dad and hediscussed it with her, then she shouted at mefor telling him.” Girl, aged 12.

“I’m alone in the house with my sister. Mumand Dad have just left, they had a massivefight. Dad has been drinking. He always drinksand then hits us and says it’s our fault and thathe wishes we hadn’t been born.” Girl, aged 11.

When young people called ChildLine to talkabout conflict between them and their parents,they sometimes mentioned that a familymember had recently died. In some casescallers recognised that their parent/s weresuffering emotionally as a result of thebereavement and that this was a source ofconflict between them.

“I’ve been having loads of rows with mum...Hersister died recently. I’ve tried to talk to her aboutit but we just end up arguing again. We used tohave a good relationship.” Girl, aged 14.


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4. Conflict with siblingsIn 2006/07, 772 children and young peoplecan be identified in the sample who talked toChildLine about problems in their relationshipswith their brothers and sisters (79 per cent ofthese callers were girls). There were a slightlyhigher proportion of younger callers for thissubcategory: 25 per cent were aged 5 to 11(compared to 23 per cent of all callers toChildLine in this age range). Some callersdescribed arguments with siblings about thingsthat are fairly normal, such as their brother orsister not respecting their privacy and goingthrough their belongings or reading their diary,or older brothers and sisters not wanting toplay with them.

“My sister shuts me out when she has friendsvisiting. It makes me feel lonely and left out. I tryto join in but they don’t want me.” Girl, aged 12.

“My younger brother is driving me crazy. Hebangs loudly on the door, throws things at meand don’t give me any peace. My parents justtell me not to be so sensitive.” Girl, aged 15.

However, other callers talked about beingseriously bullied by their siblings (nine percent specifically mentioned bullying as anadditional problem).

“My brother has been bullying me for a longtime, hitting and punching me. He has givenme a black eye in the past. I’m frightened ofhim. He is always angry and bossing mearound.” Boy, aged 10.

Some talked about a specific aspect of theirbrother’s or sister’s behaviour, such as theirself-harming, or drug or alcohol abuse, andhow this impacted on the family. In manycases, their sibling’s behaviour was causingarguments with them and their parents.Often it was in the context of otherproblems within the family, such asparental separation or alcohol abuse.

“My mum and my sister are always arguingand my mum hits my sister…Both of themdrink which makes it worse. I feel upset andscared. My mum takes it out on me and shoutsat me. I’ve tried to speak to my sister about itbut she told me where to go.” Girl, aged 13.


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5. Conflictbetween parents

In 2006/07, 395 children and young people inthe sample spoke to ChildLine because theywere worried about conflict between theirparents. There were a higher proportion ofcallers in the younger 5 to 11 age bracket forthis subcategory (28 per cent) as compared to23 per cent of all callers to ChildLine. Eight outof 10 callers were girls. Children and youngpeople who called about conflict between theirparents often described a very unsettled homelife where their parents were either still togetherbut had a difficult relationship and were arguinga lot, or who were divorced or separated andwere on bad terms. In some cases, childrenand young people talked about violencebetween their parents. Callers were acutelyaware of what was happening and oftenwitnessed conflict between their parents, whichthey found very distressing. Many were unclearwhat had caused the breakdown of theparents’ relationship and were concerned thatit might be their fault.

“My parents have been fighting a lot for the lastfew weeks. I think they might be splitting up. Iget on very well with both of them but I’mafraid that they will break up. Do you think thatit is my fault?” Girl, aged 10.

“My parents were arguing about me today. Ithink that they might separate because of me.”Girl, aged nine.

Many children and young people felt that theywere stuck in the middle of their parents, andwere being used either as a messengerbetween them, or to report back to one aboutwhat the other was doing.

“I feel stressed out by my parents arguing.Mum talks to me about her problems. Mumdoesn’t trust Dad and makes me spy on himand tell her what he’s been doing. The stress ofit is making me ill and made me lose friends.”Girl, aged 11.

“Mum and Dad split up. Since then I feel likethey’ve used me as a go-between in theirarguments. Mum and Dad don’t speak to eachother and I am expected to pass messages.”Girl, aged 16.

A commonly mentioned problem among callerswas having to decide who to live with followingseparation or divorce, and feeling that they hadbetrayed the parent that they did not choose tolive with.

“My dad has asked me to come and live withhim and his girlfriend. At the moment I live withmy mum. I’m really happy where I am but Idon’t want to hurt my dad. I don’t want to hurtanyone.” Girl, aged 13.

“My mum and dad had an argument. I haven’tseen my dad since. I used to see him onThursdays and at weekends. I’m scared that Iwon’t be allowed to see Dad for ages. I thinkthat my mum is jealous of my dad becausewhen I go there we do really fun things.” Girl,aged 11.

In a few cases, children and young peoplewanted to have contact with their non-residentparent, even though they had been violenttowards their other parent, and this causedthem to feel confused and guilty. Clearly, incases like this, contact with the non-residentparent may not be in children’s best interests, orsupervised contact may be more appropriate.Nevertheless, the situation stirred up a lot ofcomplex and painful emotions for children.

“I live with my mum; my parents have beenseparated for some years. I want to talk to herabout my dad. I saw him on and off but then Istopped because he wasn’t being very nice. Ihaven’t seen him at all for the last year and Imiss him. I feel trapped between my mum andmy dad. My mum gets upset if I talk about him.My dad tried to get custody of me and myparents went to court. I had to decide who Iwanted to live with. My dad said that I didn’tlove him or I would have chosen him.” Girl,aged 11.

“I want to see my dad. He has been separatedfrom my mum because he used to hit her. I feelconfused and guilty.” Girl, aged 12.


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6. Sibling favouredIn 2006/07, over 300 (336) children and youngpeople in the sample spoke to ChildLinebecause they felt that their parents or carersfavoured their siblings over them. There were asmaller proportion of callers in the 16 to 18 agebracket for this subcategory (13 per cent ascompared to 20 per cent of “all callers” toChildLine), suggesting that this is an issue thataffects children and young people less as theyget older. Many of these callers describednormal sibling rivalry, such as feeling jealousbecause their mum was paying a lot of attentionto a new baby brother or sister, feeling thatsiblings get away with bad behaviour whereasthey do not, that siblings are allowed to stay uplater, or that they get more pocket money.

“I’m having problems with my mum. I feel reallyleft out when I see her cuddling my baby sister.She is a week old.” Boy, aged 10.

In a number of cases, children and youngpeople felt that their parents or carers treatedtheir brothers and sisters differently for aparticular reason, such as they had a seriousillness, and therefore their parents’ attentionwas focused on them.

“I feel like all my parents’ attention is focused onmy sick brother and that they’ve forgotten aboutme. When I tried to tell my parents how I feel,we got into a huge argument.” Girl, aged 11.

Callers talking about parents or carerspreferring siblings often occurred in thecontext of parents having separated andnew step-parents and step-siblingshaving been introduced into the family.

“My dad loves my brother more than he lovesme. My parents divorced years ago and I livewith my mum.” Girl, aged 10.

Of the 336 children and young people whotalked to ChildLine about being treateddifferently from their brothers and sisters bytheir parents or carers, 19 per cent (62 callers)also said that they had been physically abused,and 18 per cent (59 callers) said they had beenemotionally abused.

“My mum is threatening to kick me out. I usedto live with my dad but he beat me up. Mymum treats me differently to my sister becauseshe thinks I’m like my dad.” Girl, aged 13.


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7. Under 18swith children –coping problems

In 2006/07, 103 children and young people inthe sample spoke to ChildLine because theyhad become a parent and were struggling tocope. Of these, four were boys and the restwere girls. The ages of callers ranged from 12to 17, and one in five (20 cases) were underthe age of 15.

The most recent government statistics showthat in 2005 there were 42,187 conceptions togirls under the age of 18 in England and Wales.Of these, 46.6 per cent led to abortion, whichmeans that approximately 22,000 babies wereborn to teenage mothers.1 Although conceptionrates for the under 18s are at their lowest for 20years, the UK still has the highest rates ofteenage pregnancies in Western Europe.

Many of the problems that young people callingChildLine were experiencing reflected thosefaced by new parents of any age, such asfeeling overwhelmed by the responsibility ofhaving a child, feeling exhausted from having toget up during the night and not sleepingenough, and finding it stressful if their babycried excessively.

The majority of callers lived with their parents orother family members, although some of theolder teenagers lived alone with their babies.Research shows that family support isextremely important for teenage mothers, andthat the person they most rely on for practicaland childcare support is their own mother. Thissupport appears to have a positive influence onthe parenting behaviour and practices of theseyoung women.2

Most callers were no longer in a relationshipwith the father of the baby (some had neverbeen), and for some their relationship with himwas a concern. In fact, 16 per cent (16 callers)mentioned this specifically.

Research suggests that while maternalgrandmothers may provide quantitativelymore support, partner support (whether ornot that partner is the father of the baby)becomes increasingly important to teenagemothers over time. Emotional support from

partners in particular has been related to betterparenting practices.3

Even those young people who had a goodsupport network felt apprehensive. For example,one 14-year-old girl said: “I had a babyyesterday. I live with my mum and my step-dadwho are both very supportive but I still feelscared that I’m not responsible enough.”

There were many young people, however, whodid not feel adequately supported to look aftertheir child and who were finding it very difficultto cope alone. Sixteen per cent of callers saidthat they felt lonely.

“I have a baby and I’m living alone in a flat.Mum kicked me out when she found out I waspregnant. It’s so tiring. It’s too muchresponsibility.” Girl, aged 16.

“My kids are so draining; I can’t look after themany more. I’ve got two kids. I had one at 17and one at 18 and they were both a mistake.I’ve got no one to help me with them... I justfeel like closing my eyes and never waking upagain.” Girl, aged 19.

“I feel sad and lonely. I’ve got a year-old babywho I love, but sometimes I’d just like to go outand act silly with friends. I feel like I’m missing out.I want some rest and some fun.” Girl, aged 15.

Many callers were worried that they had failedto bond with their baby and did not lovehim/her. This is not uncommon among newmothers who are adults and is therefore notsurprising among this younger group.

Worryingly, a few young people talked aboutthe fact that they had not wanted to have thebaby in the first place, and said that they hadbeen forced to have him/her by their parents.

“I didn’t want the baby from the beginning. Iwas going to have a termination but my mumwouldn’t let me. I’ve tried to love the baby but Ican’t.” Girl, aged 16.

“I never wanted my baby since gettingpregnant, and now I’m not bonding with her orloving her, but am forcing myself to do the rightthing and take care of her. I feel guilty becauseI hate doing it.” Girl, aged 17.


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“I didn’t want the baby and I hate my mum formaking me have it.” Girl, aged 15.

“I am 15 and I’ve got a six-week-old baby. Iwanted to have an abortion but my mumwouldn’t let me.” Girl, aged 15.

“I hate her. I can’t get to sleep. I don’t want her.She keeps crying.” Girl, aged 15.

“I fell pregnant at 15, I arranged to have atermination but when I told my mum she mademe have the baby. I feel angry with her for it.”Girl, aged 16.

A number of young girls said that they had notrealised that they were pregnant until a monthor two before the birth, or even until they wereactually in labour.

“I recently had a baby and I don’t want it anymore. I had no idea that I was pregnantbecause I didn’t put on any weight and myperiods didn’t stop.” Girl, aged 14.

Callers commonly talked about not finding timeto do schoolwork, or about being too tired toconcentrate when they are at school.

“I’m finding things really tough because I’mtrying to juggle looking after my baby and goingto school.” Girl, aged 13.

Some young parents told ChildLine that they werestruggling so much that they were concerned thatthey might smack or hit their child.

“I’m finding it so difficult to deal with her. Shescreams non-stop for hours. I feel like launchingher across the room although I wouldn’t do it.”Girl, aged 17.

“I’m living on my own with my baby and I can’tcope, I want to put him up for adoptionbecause I’m scared that I might hit him.” Girl,aged 17.

“My son is really bad. He is two and he hastantrums all the time. I keep smacking himbecause I can’t cope.” Girl, aged 15.

Some studies have pointed to a higher risk ofchild maltreatment among younger parents,4

although it is recognised that this risk isconfounded by the environmental factorsexperienced by many younger parents,

including socio-economic deprivation, lack ofsocial support, depression, low self-esteem andemotional stress.5 This suggests that in theabsence of other factors, the age of the parentis not necessarily a risk factor for childmaltreatment, but that younger parents may beparticularly in need of support.

Some callers talked about their ownexperiences of abuse. In some cases, girls hadbecome pregnant as a result of being raped.This resulted in very confused feelings towardsthe baby.

“I got pregnant after being raped and gave birthto my baby girl three weeks ago. I haven’t sleptsince. I have mixed feelings about her. I love herbut I hate her as well even though I know it’snot her fault. I’m being supported by socialservices and a health visitor but I’m scared totell them about my feelings towards the baby.”Girl, aged 14.

Research shows that more than one-third (36per cent) of all rapes recorded by the police arecommitted against children under 16.6

7.1 Counsellors’ insights on under 18swith children – coping problemsThe following quotes are direct quotes fromChildLine counsellors, obtained during afocus group exploring the types of issuesraised by children and young people callingabout family relationship problems.

“Lots of girls don’t know that they’repregnant until not long before the birth.They are very young and don’t really knowtheir bodies very well, but in some casesthere is also an element of being in denial ofthe facts and choosing to ignore them.”

“Of girls who have become pregnantbecause they have been raped, the veryworst cases are where it is incest.Sometimes the father of the baby is thegirl’s father or stepfather. Often there is noone that these girls feel they can tell. Whenthey go to doctors appointments or to thehospital they are accompanied by theabuser, which makes it impossible for themto tell anyone. If other members of thefamily are aware of the situation, theysometimes conspire to keep it a secret.”


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8. Young carers/carer sibling

In 2006/07, 28 young people in the samplespoke to ChildLine about caring for an adultmember of their family (mainly a parent) and anadditional 28 young people called ChildLine totalk about caring for sibling/s. Of these 56young people, eight were boys and the restwere girls. The vast majority of these youngpeople (38) were aged between 12 and 15.

Recent estimates of the numbers of youngcarers (children and young people who provideinformal care for relatives, usually parents, inthe home) suggests that there areapproximately 175,000 young carers in theUK,7 although there may be many more whoare not captured in official statistics.

Around half of the young carers identified in thesmall sample of calls to ChildLine were caringfor an adult who was disabled, who had anillness (mental or physical) that had left themunable to care for themselves, or who haddebilitating drug or alcohol problems. In themajority of cases this was a parent, although insome cases it was another adult member oftheir family, such as a grandparent.

The other half of the children and young peoplewho called ChildLine to talk about being acarer were caring for siblings. Often thisresponsibility had fallen to them because theirparents were mentally or physically ill orbecause they had drug or alcohol problems.

One caller rang to say: “My dad drinks andshouts all the time. I feel upset like crying andkilling myself. I look after the little one – feedinghim, getting him ready for bed, getting thingsready for the morning and telling him stories.It’s like I’ve got kids of my own.” Girl, aged 15.

In some cases however, callers were caring forsiblings because their parent/s were workingvery long hours.

Some of the children and young people whocalled ChildLine were caring both for a parentand for siblings: “After school and onweekends and holidays I have to look aftereveryone. I sometimes go to bed aftermidnight, having cleaned, cooked, washed andironed.” Girl, aged 14.

Research shows that the majority of peoplewith care needs are mothers (and this isespecially true in lone-parent families wheremothers account for 70 per cent of peopleneeding care), followed by siblings and thenfathers. One in ten young carers is caring formore than one person. Two thirds of youngcarers provide domestic help in the home; 48per cent provide general and nursing type care;82 per cent provide emotional support andsupervision; 18 per cent provide intimatepersonal care; and 11 per cent also providechild care.8

Young carers who call ChildLine talk aboutfeeling very stressed and pressured by theresponsibilities that they have, and about feelingunsupported: “My mum has a disability and lotsof pain. My dad and brother are not veryhelpful; I feel so responsible. It’s all too much;my head is so full of stuff.” Girl, aged 12.

Being a young carer can be very isolating andsome children and young people feel that thereis no one to turn to for help. One caller whocared for her disabled relative called ChildLineasking for the number to: “…put myself in acare home. I can’t do it any more without anyoutside help.” Girl, aged 15.

Aside from the pressure of having theresponsibility of caring for others at a youngage, one of the main problems that callersfaced was a lack of time. They had very littletime for themselves or to see friends. One 10-year-old girl said: “I’ve got too much to thinkabout, I don’t have any time to play or see myfriend. I’ve only got one friend.”

Some callers talked about being afraid to goout and leave the person they were caring foralone. “I spend all my time looking after her[mum]. She takes drugs regularly, and I worrythat she is going to kill herself. I have to keepher on a relaxed level. I never get to go out. It’speaceful if I do, but I just worry about whatshe’s doing so it’s not worth it.” Girl, aged 12.

Callers to ChildLine also talked about havingproblems at school, either because they missed alot of school, or fell behind with their schoolworkin order to fulfil their caring duties. “Mum gets illand she makes me do things because she can’t.I have to do all the housework. I’ve got myGCSEs coming up and it’s really not helping. I feelscared and upset.” Girl, aged 16.


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Some callers said that teachers at their schoolknew that they were carers and weresupportive of them when they were strugglingwith schoolwork or when they had days offschool. Other callers, however, had either nottold anyone at school or had told someone buthad not found them to be very supportive.Some talked about getting into trouble forfalling behind with their schoolwork as a directresult of being a carer.

Research shows that a fifth of young carersexperience educational difficulties. This isespecially marked in the 11 to 15 age group –the age when young people are makingeducational decisions and taking importantexaminations. Children and young people whoare caring for a relative with drug or alcoholproblems seem to be at particular risk of havingeducational difficulties.9 However, these figuresdo show some improvements since 1997,when 33 per cent of young carers were foundto experience educational difficulties. This is dueto increased awareness within schools of theeducational difficulties of young carers.10

However, a recent survey of 1,000 teachersasking them about their views on young carersbased on their own experiences at work,suggested that schools vary in the level ofsupport that they offer to young carers and inthe efforts that they make to identify youngcarers in their student population. Nine out of10 teachers were concerned that some youngcarers might be falling through the net andremaining unidentified and unsupported. Almosthalf (44 per cent) were not aware whether theyoung carers that they had encountered wereknown to the wider teaching staff and to thesenior management team, and 59 per cent saidthat they had no knowledge of a designated linkperson at their school with responsibility forlooking after the needs of young carers. Fiftyper cent also thought that the mechanisms inschools to identify and support young carerswere not effective enough.11

Some young carers who called ChildLine alsotalked about being bullied at school for being ayoung carer.

8.1 Counsellors’ insights about beinga young carerThe following quotes are direct quotes fromChildLine counsellors, obtained during afocus group exploring the types of issuesraised by children and young people callingabout family relationship problems.

“Children talk a lot about getting bullied,other children calling the person that theycare for names or saying that they aresmelly, for example.”

“Children feel duty bound to help theperson they are caring for but they reallystruggle to balance caring for them withschoolwork and seeing friends. It’s far toomuch responsibility for them; I spoke toone young girl who was the sole carer forher mum. Her mum kept saying ’I don’tknow what I’d do without you’ in a niceway but the girl felt that it put a hugeamount of pressure on her and she hadbeen feeling depressed and having panicattacks.”

www.nspcc.org.uk

13 www.nspcc.org.uk

9. Conflict withinthe family –common themes

When children call ChildLine to talk aboutconflict in their families, whether that conflict isbetween them and their parents, between themand a sibling, or between their parents, thereare a number of issues that they often talkabout. These are:

parental separation, divorce and livingin step-familiesphysical abusealcohol abuseviolence between parents/domestic violence.

9.1 Parental separation, divorce andstep-familiesMany callers talked about their parents’separation or divorce, the emotional turmoilthat one or both parents were suffering asa result, and about the impact that thebreak-up had had on them and on othermembers of the family. Callers talked aboutfeeling worried that their parents’separation might be their fault and feltconfused about what had caused it. Manytalked about being caught in the middle ofthe conflict between their parents andbeing forced to choose with whom to live,or to decide how much contact theywanted to have with a non-resident parent.

Understandably, children and young peoplefound this very upsetting and were veryconcerned about hurting one or bothparents. Many children told ChildLine thatthey had no one else to talk to about whatwas happening and that it was very difficultto discuss the separation at home. What isclear from these accounts is that familybreak-up can be a source of great pain andanguish for children. What is also clear isthat the impact of separation and divorcecan be exacerbated or relieved by parents’responses or behaviour. Conflict betweenparents and a lack of communicationbetween parents and children adds to theconfusion and distress.

Divorce is increasingly common in the UK.Two-thirds of divorcing couples have

dependent children under the age of 16,and some three million of the 12 millionchildren in the UK will experience theseparation of their parents during thecourse of their childhood.12 We know fromresearch that it is usual for these children toexperience a period of unhappiness andpossibly behavioural problems, and a lossof self-esteem. Most will fully recoverhowever, once they have settled back into aroutine. This recovery process is helpedenormously by a variety of factors including:

good communication between parentsand childrenparents maintaining a good relationshipwith each otherthe availability of wider family networks(especially grandparents) who are ableto support children around the timeof separation.

High levels of conflict between parentsduring or post separation can be extremelydetrimental to the wellbeing of children andtheir future outcomes.13

Parental separation can be particularlydifficult for children when followed by anumber of changes to the family setting, forexample where parents find new partners, orwhere new children are brought into thehouse.14 Calls to ChildLine reflect this, withmany callers talking about finding it difficultto forge relationships with new step-parents,or feeling that their relationship with theirbirth parent has suffered as a result of theaddition of new family members to thehousehold. Lots of children also talkedabout feeling jealous of new step-siblings,revealing deep insecurities regarding theirfeelings about how much they are valued bytheir parent or step-parent.

9.2 Physical abuseMany children who called ChildLine to talkabout conflict within the family also talkedabout physical abuse. In the majority ofcases this was perpetrated by parentsagainst them or their siblings. In somecases however, this was perpetratedagainst the caller by a brother or sister.Research shows that a quarter of allchildren experience one or more forms ofphysical violence during childhood, themajority of which is experienced at home.15


14 www.nspcc.org.uk

9.3 Alcohol abuseCallers often mentioned that their parent/shad a problem with alcohol abuse. Thelinks between alcohol abuse and problemswithin the family are well documented;research shows that alcohol is a factor inone-third of child abuse cases.16 There isalso a clear link between alcohol abuseand domestic violence: thirty per cent ofmen who assault their partners do sounder the influence of alcohol.17 It isestimated that between 780,000 and 1.3million children in England alone areaffected by parental alcohol problems.18

9.4 Violence between parents/domestic violenceMany children who called ChildLine aboutconflict within their families talked aboutviolence between their parents. Researchshows that over a quarter (26 per cent) ofyoung adults report that physical violencesometimes took place between those caringfor them during childhood. For five per centthis violence was constant or frequent.19

9.5 Counsellors’ insights on conflictwithin the familyThe following quotes are direct quotes fromChildLine counsellors, obtained during afocus group exploring the types of issuesraised by children and young people callingabout family relationship problems.

“Within some cultures, a lot of rowsbetween parents and children are causedby differences in expectations between thegenerations. For example, because parentswant their daughter to have an arrangedmarriage and she isn’t happy about it, orbecause she has got a boyfriend who hasa different religion, which the parents feeljeopardises the family honour.”

“Often when parents are splitting up, theydon’t know how to talk to their childrenabout it, or they don’t even realise that theyneed to talk to them about it because theyare so caught up in their own grief. A lot ofchildren ring ChildLine because they cansee that their parents are having a lot ofproblems and they’re worried about what’sgoing to happen, but neither parent hassaid anything to them.”

“Children tell us that they feel like they have

no control over what is happening whentheir parents separate; they might have tomove house, change schools and havetheir whole world turned upside down andthey are just expected to get on with it. Noone talks to them about how they feelabout it or what they want.”

“Having to decide which parent they want tolive with following a break-up can be terriblytraumatic for children. We get calls fromchildren who feel devastated by having tomake the choice because they desperatelydon’t want to hurt either of their parents bynot choosing them. Sometimes they mightchoose to live with Dad because they feelsorry for him because he would be living onhis own otherwise, even if that’s not whatthey really want to do. Once the decision ismade, it’s then very difficult for them to move,even if they’re not happy where they are.”

“When children suffer the loss of someoneclose to them, either because there hasbeen a death in the family or because aparent has walked out of their lives, theirgrief is not always acknowledged.Somehow children are not expected toreact in the same way as adults do bybecoming depressed or withdrawn, forexample. Children may also not show howsad they feel because they are afraid ofupsetting their parent/s.”

“Sometimes children may not understandhow they are feeling, and their grief maycome out in other ways like behaving badlyat school. They may not even realise whatis making them feel sad until they aretalking to ChildLine about it.”

“We get a lot of calls from children who arestruggling to accept someone new intotheir lives like their parent’s new partner orthe partner’s own children. Often they feeljealous or left out and that their parentdoesn’t have time for them any more. Thisis especially true if their parent and step-parent have a new baby together.”

“We hear a lot from children about physicalabuse, children talk about being hit by theirbrothers or sisters, but often it sounds likeit’s happening a lot in the family. The parentsare hitting the children and each other;violence has become the norm for them.”


15 www.nspcc.org.uk

10. Recommendations10.1 Listening to the silent child

When families have problems, the silentchild witnessing parental conflict may beexperiencing a great deal of pain. This isnot always noticed, and the child may notfeel able to talk to anyone about theirworries. Parents, professionals and otheradults should ensure that children do notend up suffering alone. We all have aresponsibility to find the time and thespace to listen to children, and toencourage them to express theirconcerns.

10.2 Early intervention servicesfor familiesExperiencing domestic violence canimpact on key outcomes for children. Toreduce this impact and improve outcomes,the individual needs of children/youngpeople affected by domestic violence mustbe identified and acted upon. Given thehigh degree of under-reporting of domesticviolence, especially at an early stage, thereis a need for early identification by allagencies. To undertake routinequestioning, staff need to have anawareness of the nature and dynamics ofdomestic violence. They also need trainingto be able to recognise it, to ask the rightquestions and to take appropriate follow-through action, including referral.

Children’s needs vary, even within thesame family. Service provision must beresponsive to this. Services must bebased on the individual needs of the child,so that a range of provisions should beavailable in every area. Services shouldnurture the child’s capacity to understandand survive their experience and build onexisting strengths, while also recognisingthat children’s coping abilities vary.

Children cannot be supported in isolationfrom the non-abusing parent. A goodparent-child relationship, particularly withthe non-abusing parent, is the bestpredictor of good outcomes. Supportingthe abused parent is also an essential partof responding effectively to children’sdistress.

10.3 Therapeutic supportChildren who have witnessed domesticviolence should have access totherapeutic support services. It is possibleto reverse the negative impact domesticviolence can have on children only if theyhave access to specialist child-focusedtherapeutic support services, tailored tomeet their individual needs.

10.4 Parenting programmes foryoung peopleThere is some evidence of pooreroutcomes for children of young parents,including language and developmentalproblems, lower educational attainment,behaviour problems and increased risk ofmaltreatment. As mentioned earlier, thismay be largely due to the adversecircumstances experienced by youngerparents and their offspring, such aspoverty. A recent review of the literature(Coren & Barlow 200720) evaluating theeffectiveness of individual and group-based parenting programmes for teenageparents showed positive effects on arange of maternal and infant measures ofoutcomes. These included mother-infantinteraction, language development,parental attitudes, parental knowledge,maternal mealtime communication,maternal self-confidence and maternalidentity. There is a clear need for these tobe available to all young people in order tomaximise the parenting skills of adolescentparents.

In Northern Ireland, parenting education foryoung people and parents should be a keycomponent of the Department of HealthSocial Services and Public Safety(DHSSPS) Family Matters Strategy.

10.5 Additional support for children andparents affected by separationand divorceThere is clear evidence that children andyoung people benefit emotionally post-separation where there is a positiverelationship with both parents (Maclean200421) and that they are harmed byviolence, abuse and conflict between theirparents. However, there is a lack ofcomprehensive support aimed at helping


16 www.nspcc.org.uk

parents to resolve their difficulties andprevent harm to their children. Recentlypublished research on the Government’spiloting of in-court conciliation services hasfound that, while they have resulted incontact between children and their non-resident parent, it does not make this workwell for children. The research states that“Co-parental relationships werecompetitive or non-existent, trust was lowand conflict was high.” On a test ofchildren’s wellbeing, called a strengths anddifficulties questionnaire, roughly twice asmany of the children of the 117 parents inthe study had low or borderline scores asin the general population of children. Theresearchers have recommended that thereneeds to be a more therapeutic approach,where parents are taught angermanagement and how to focus on theneeds of their children. “Interventions areneeded where the primary goal is toaddress parental attitudes... and givechildren the best shot at contact thatworks for them, rather than for theirparents and the courts.” (Trinder & Kellett200722)

It is clear that many children who callChildLine are extremely distressed abouttheir parents separating and feel theyhave no one to talk to about theirconcerns. There is a need for a nationallycoordinated range of direct supportservices for children and young peopleexperiencing parental separation, familialconflict and domestic violence.

Dedicated therapeutic work with childrenshould take place when the child is in asafe and child-friendly environment, overseveral sessions, with the same supportworker.

Direct work with children should helpthem to cope appropriately with theabuse they have heard or witnessed andto learn not to blame themselves forwhat has happened.

10.6 Support for young carersWhile there has been increasedrecognition of the difficulties faced byyoung carers within schools over the lastfew years, and fewer are experiencingeducational difficulties (Dearden & Becker

200423), it is still the case that many youngcarers are not getting the support that theyrequire (Barnardo’s 200624). Theresponsibility for identifying and supportingyoung carers rests with schools, adultsand services for children. Currently manyof these young people are falling throughthe gaps in the system.

10.7 PSHE as a statutory subjectPersonal, social, health and economiceducation (PSHE) (personal and socialdevelopment (PSD) in Scotland) should bea statutory subject for all children to offerpractical tips and advice for those whomay be experiencing domestic violence. Itshould cover personal safety, relationshipsat home, domestic violence, and offerpractical tips and advice for children whomay be experiencing domestic violence.All PSHE and PSD teachers should betrained and know how to handledisclosures of violence and/or abuse.

In Northern Ireland, where the PSHEequivalent, Personal Development (PD), is astatutory part of the curriculum, there isconsiderable discretion as to what istaught. The Department of Education,Northern Ireland (DENI) should ensure thatthis matter is given priority in the teachingof PD and that teachers are equipped withmaterials, resources and training to teach it.

10.8 School counselling andlistening servicesSchools should offer counselling forchildren who are experiencing or haveexperienced domestic violence. Researchinto the needs of children affected bydomestic violence identified their twoprimary needs as being safe and havingsomeone to talk to. There have beensome positive government-led initiatives tosupport listening services, includinggovernment funding for ChildLine servicesin Scotland, but it is essential that allchildren should have the help they needwhen they need it.

High thresholds for receiving localauthority services mean that many 16- to18-year-olds do not receive support fromchildren’s services and some vulnerableyoung people in violent intimaterelationships are falling through this gap


17 www.nspcc.org.uk

and not being protected. It is importantthat all children are able to accessconfidential and responsive services suchas ChildLine, the NSPCC Helpline, andthe NSPCC’s there4me.com service.These have a key role to play and theNSPCC welcomes the new funding fromWestminster for these services and thesupport in Northern Ireland for ChildLinefrom the Department of Education.Schools should also offer counselling forchildren who are experiencing or haveexperienced domestic violence. Schools-based peer counselling or peer-to-peersupport initiatives should becomplemented by independent and fullytrained school counsellors.

There is also a role for school counsellingservices to support children in dealing withwider problems they may experience interms of family relationships. An evaluationof Glasgow’s Counselling in Schools pilotproject by Strathclyde University found thatthe most common presenting issue foryoung people using school counsellingservices was family problems, while themost common issue emerging duringcounselling for young people wasrelationships with parents.25

10.9 Family supportEighteen per cent (735 callers) of thesample talked about being physicallyabused by parents. This highlights theneed for strong messages fromgovernment that physical punishment isnot acceptable and for legislation to givechildren equal protection from assault.Families who are struggling to cope mayrequire parenting or family support servicesto help them to address the underlyingcauses of the conflict, learn more aboutpositive parenting techniques and to helpthem to communicate better. Informationabout parenting and family supportservices should be made available in easilyaccessible locations, such as GPsurgeries. All children must be taught thatphysical abuse is unacceptable andencouraged to seek help from teachers orother trusted adults.

There needs to be a cultural changewhereby parents are encouraged toaccess parenting and family support

services before problems escalate. Theseservices should be non-stigmatising andnon-judgemental in their approach. Thecalls from young parents highlight theincredible pressure that they face.

We recognise that the government ispiloting a number of positive initiativesaiming to support vulnerable families,including ten heath-led demonstrationprojects supporting young parents indisadvantaged communities. We hopethese pilots will prove successful and thatthe learning from the pilots will be used toinform more widespread parenting supportprovision for young parents. It is essentialthat universal services, such as healthvisiting services, support young parentsduring the early years of their child’s life,and signpost parents in even greater needto more specialist or intensive supportservices. We know there are considerableproblems with the provision of healthvisitors in some areas and there is norelationship between the number of healthvisitors and of vulnerable families.26

10.10 ServicesWhen adult substance misusers are inreceipt of support from one or morestatutory or non-statutory bodies, theparamountcy principle must inform thework at all times. This states that thewelfare of the child is the paramountconsideration. It is imperative thatagencies working with substance abusingparents or carers have (a) a clear processfor identifying the family circumstances oftheir clients and (b) clear protocols in placefor sharing information with externalagencies when there is a child or childrenin the family.

Health and social care professionals needto be aware of the impact of parentalalcohol and substance misuse on children,which is highly correlated with domesticviolence and physical abuse. A child livingwith a substance misuser is thereforehighly likely to be a child-in-need or achild-in-need-of-protection. More andbetter training is required to ensure thatchildren and young people are adequatelyassessed and the provision of flexible,universal services should be substantiallyimproved and made widely available.


18 www.nspcc.org.uk

Users of the NSPCC’s Family AlcoholService (FAS) report that they value itstherapeutic approach, which identifiesand builds upon the families’ own valuesand strengths to achieve the treatmentgoals. They also appreciate the flexibleapproach adopted, including theprovision of taxis for clients, the

willingness of staff to work out of hours,and the provision of home visits. Suchtherapeutic services should be morewidely available, and should adopt theFAS model of working with children andthe non-substance misusing partners ofsubstance misusers.


19 www.nspcc.org.uk

1 Teenage Pregnancy Unit and Office for National Statistics (2008) Under 18 Conception data for top-tier LocalAuthorities (LAD1), 1998-2006. London: Teenage Pregnancy Unit and Office for National Statistics.

2 Bunting, L. and McAuley, C. (2004) Research Review: Teenage pregnancy and motherhood: the role of support.Child and Family Social Work, 9 (2): 207-215.

3 Ibid

4 Wakschlag, L. and Hans, S L. (2000) Early Parenthood in Context: implications for development and intervention.In: CH.Zeanah (eds). Handbook of Infant Mental Health. New York: Guilford Press. 129-144.andBucholz, E. and Korn-Bursztyn, C. (1993) Children of adolescent mothers: Are they at risk for abuse?Adolescence; 28: 361–382.

5 Bolton, F G., Laner, R H. and Kane, S P. (1980) Child maltreatment risk among adolescent mothers: a study ofreported cases. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry; 50:489–504.andUtting, D., Bright, J. and Henricson, L. (1993) Crime and the Family: improving child rearing and preventingdelinquency. Vol. Occasional Paper 16, London: Family Policy Studies Centre, 1993.

6 Crime in England and Wales, Home Office: 2005/2006. London: Home Office.

7 Office for National Statistics (2001) Census 2001. London: Office for National Statistics.

8 Dearden, C. and Becker, S. (2004) Young Carers in the UK: the 2004 report. London: Carers UK.

9 Ibid

10 Ibid

11 Barnardo’s (2006) Hidden Lives, Unidentified Young Carers in the UK. Barkingside: Barnardo’s.

12 Timms, J E., Bailey, S. and Thoburn, J. (2007) Your shout too!: a survey of the views of children and young peopleinvolved in court proceedings when their parents divorce or separate. London: NSPCC.

13 Joseph Rowntree Foundation (2004) Together and apart: Children and parents experiencing separation anddivorce. York: Joseph Rowntree Foundation.

14 Ibid

15 Cawson, P., Wattam, C., Brooker, S. and Kelly, G. (2000) Child maltreatment in the United Kingdom: a study ofthe prevalence of child abuse and neglect. London: NSPCC.

16 ChildLine (2007) A ChildLine information sheet: Alcohol. London: ChildLine.

17 Prime Minister’s Strategy Unit (2004) Alcohol harm reduction strategy for England. London: Cabinet Office.

18 Ibid

19 Cawson, P., (2002) Child Maltreatment in the Family: the experience of a national sample of young people.London: NSPCC.

20 Coren, E., and Barlow, J. (2007) Individual and group-based parenting programmes for improving psychosocialoutcomes for teenage parents and their children (Cochrane Review). Cochrane Database of Systematic ReviewsJuly 2001 Issue 3.

21Maclean, M. (2004) Together and apart: children and parents experiencing separation and divorce. Foundations[Joseph Rowntree Foundation], (314) March, pp.8. York: Joseph Rowntree Foundation.

References


20 www.nspcc.org.uk

22 Trinder, L. and Kellett, J. (2007) The longer-term outcomes of in-court conciliation: Ministry of Justice ResearchSeries 15/07. London: Ministry of Justice.

23 Dearden, C. and Becker, S. (2004) Young Carers in the UK: the 2004 report. London: Carers UK

24 Barnardo’s (2006) Hidden Lives, Unidentified Young Carers in the UK. Barkingside: Barnardo’s.

25 Cooper, M. (2004) Counselling in schools project: evaluation report. Glasgow: University of StrathclydeCounselling Unit.

26Gimson, S. (2007) Health Visitors – an endangered species. London: Family and Parenting Institute.


ChildLine is a service provided by the NSPCC. In Scotland the ChildLine serviceis delivered by CHILDREN 1ST on behalf of the NSPCC.

NSPCC registered charity numbers 216401 and SC037717. CHILDREN 1ST

Scottish registered charity number SC016092.

NSPCCWeston House42 Curtain RoadLondon EC2A 3NHTel: 020 7825 2500Fax: 020 7825 2525

www.nspcc.org.uk

The findings in this report are based on detailedanalysis of calls to ChildLine from 1st April 2006 to31st March 2007. Children and young people oftentalk to ChildLine because they know they will receivea confidential service and that what they say will notgo any further unless they wish. ChildLine will alwaysmake an informed judgement as to whether the childcan give realistic consent to act on his/her behalf. Onrare occasions this contract of confidentiality can bebroken if the child is assessed to be in a dangerousor life-threatening situation. The majority of childrendo not identify their whereabouts and maintain theirown anonymity.

The counsellor will listen and take the child or youngperson seriously when they call. ChildLine will help thechild to talk through their concerns, exploring whatmight make a difference, and whether there aresupportive adults in their lives. Sometimes the child willpractice what they would say to increase theirconfidence in speaking to such an adult. Thecounsellor will also give the child information on howother agencies can help. If the child wants ChildLine tomake contact on their behalf, or this is assessed asnecessary, ChildLine will mediate, advocate or refer thechild to a relevant agency or person, such as socialservices, the police, the ambulance service, or a parentor teacher.

ChildLine’s data is not comprehensive, as themain priority for helpline counsellors is to providecomfort, advice and protection to the caller, not togather demographic or other information forresearch purposes.

The content of ChildLine counselling conversations iscaptured through written records. Every time acounsellor speaks to a young person, the counsellornotes the main reason the child called, any otherconcerns raised, and details of family and livingcircumstances revealed by the child, and a narrative ofthe discussion. Conversations are child-led, and notconducted for the purposes of research; but it is forprecisely these reasons that they often revealinformation that formal research might not uncover.

ChildLine provides a confidential telephone counsellingservice for any child with any problem, 24 hours a day,every day. In February 2006, ChildLine joined theNSPCC as a dedicated service, in order to help,support and protect even more children. ChildLinecontinues to use its own name, and the 0800 1111phone number remains unchanged. Volunteercounsellors continue to provide a free 24-hour servicefor any child or young person with a problem.

For more information, please contact the NSPCCLibrary and Information Service on: 020 7825 2775or email: [email protected] or contact the NSPCCMedia Team on: 020 7825 2500, [email protected] or visit:www.childline.org.uk/casenotes.asp

Photographs posed by models. Photography by LarryBray Photography (page 2 & 6) and Jon Challicom (page8 & 12). All names and potentially identifying details havebeen changed to protect the identity of callers.

© NSPCC 2008

About the information in this report

casenote family relationship problems

Self Improvement

young childline

childline people

methodologycalled childline

andcalled childline

additional problems

alcohol problems

family oftenpeople

children andfar