Unifying Perfection

BY

Boutros Joseph Zalloua

Illustrations by Rita Zalloua

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© Copyright Boutros Joseph Zalloua 2003 This book is copyright. Apart from any fair dealings for the purposes of private study, research, criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright Act, no part may be reproduced by any purposes without written permission. The right of Boutros Joseph Zalloua to be identified as the moral rights author has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000 (Commonwealth).

Inquiries should be made to: Seaview Press PO Box 234 Henley Beach, South Australia 5022 Telephone 08 8235 1535; fax 08 8235 9144 E-mail: seaview@seaviewpress.com.au Web site: http://www.seaviewpress.com.au

Printed by: CM Digital 234 Currie Street Adelaide, South Australia 5000

National Library of Australia Catalguing-in-Publication entry Zalloua, Boutros Joseph Unifying Perfection.

ISBN 1 74008 270 2.

I. Zalloua, Rita. II. Title

A821.4

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Acknowledgements

Most of these poems were dedicated to particular people in my life including my family and friends. They had inspired me to write such words and I therefore acknowledge them for giving me the opportunity to meet them. This is my little gift to all these wonderful people in my life. You all know who you are and God bless you all.

I also would like to show my appreciation for Australia, the one place which has allowed me to excel in life and strive for my goals.

Lebanon has always been a major source of my inspiration and cultural heritage. I pray that all young people there may one day too have the opportunities to excel and be ambitious in life just as I have had in Australia.

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To Sitoo and family,

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Contents

Love Denied 11Sunset in the Vast Distance 12 A Faraway Friend 14 Conscience in Love 15 In the Form of Misadventure 16 My Realisation 18 Treasured Love that Aches 20 Viva Forever 22 Village Child 25A Blast of Confused Love 26 Eastern Enigma 27 Growth in Reverse 28 Isolated Existence 30 My (Best) Friend 31 Shepherd’s Child 33 Testimonial Truth 34 Inspired Homecoming 37Crusade up a Mountain 38 For the Love of an Eternal Lebanon 40 For the Hate of the Existing Lebanon 44 My Homeland 46 Solution 47 The Simplicity of the Way 48 Timeless Travel 49 Valley of Complexity 50 Treasured Memories 51 Exquisite Angel 52 Risen Princess 53 Humbled Appearance 54 Warm Partner in Life 55 Companion for Life 56

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Innocent Perfection 57A Final Word… 58 Cute Little Girl 60 Journey to where Love takes you… 61 The Sweet Scent of Innocence 62 Inscribed by Angels 63Awaiting Splendour 64 Captured Perfection within a Jar 65 Distanced Angel 66 Journey to the Heart 67 Dream Draws Near 69 Key to my Salvation 70 Simplistic Defiance of Majestic Nobility 72 Temptation Defeated 74 To you, Girl of my Dreams 76 Prayer to my Love and Faith 77 Unified Dream 78 Victory of the Present 80 Strength & Honour 82A Natural Question 83 Natural Wonder 84 … Of the Soul 85 Paralysing Dream 86 Satisfying Pleasure 87 Victim of Good 88 Social Belief, Naturally 89 Social Belief, Misguided 90 Provoked Justification 92A Soft Touch of Her Face, a Firm Grip of Her Hand 93 Appreciated Simplicity 95 Delightful Awakening 97 Erosion of One’s Dignity 99

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Innocent Encounter 100 Passionate Temptation 101 Pinnacle of Uniqueness 102 Rapid Decline in Character 103 Silhouette on the Horizon 105 Simplistic Beauty 107 United Separation… one being with the other side… 108 Velvet Rose in a Forbidden Garden 110 Near Realisation 112Affirmation 113 Belonging to the Spirit 114 Envisioned Truth 115 Eucharistic Thanksgiving 116 Exiled Return 117 Holy Child of the Cedar 118 Near Realisation of Faith 120 Superficial Love 121 Thank you for the Blessing 122 The Calling 124 The Cross of My Spirit 125 Tribute to my God 127 Writing for Sake of Writing 128 A Family Blessing 130 Innocent Thought 134A Journey through Nature 135 After Her 136 It 137 Tragedy 138 Index 141

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Love Denied

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Sunset in the Vast Distance

Calling out across the endless ocean horizon, Far into the distant afternoon sky where sun meets the water, Desperately hoping that my dear friend out there will hear my cry In her fragile thoughts and in her pure dreams.

And even if she hears, what possibly can I say? To bring a smile to her face or to make her feel loved once again. I pity myself for my voice cannot conquer such vast distance to her, And instead, I do not bother to cry out, sitting quietly watching the rusty sunset.

And down with the brightest star in the clear sky, Collapses all my hopes and dreams to be close to my dear friend. For her sun is of a different world, rising on the other side of this great ocean, Waking her up from her dreams and forcing me to fade back into memory.

My dear friend, you were never forgotten, you remained in my memory,In my heart and my soul still seeks out your companionship. For have a part of my heart that will never be unlocked,

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Kept secret from the far cries of reality, hidden in the silent cries of my dreams.

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A Faraway Friend

In reply to my friend who watches the majestic sunset,

Such is the magnitude of the great ocean That one can not possible comprehend such distance And yet, the souls continue to talk as if they were near, Protecting each other’s hearts as if they were intertwined in a sacred secret.

Dear Friend, I call out to you, I hear your spirit, Do not be disheartened for I am with you, My soul sways across the distance and touches you ever so softly, Glad to have found you safe and well.

And there, with the sun gone and the moon to light the darkness, I sit beside you, holding your spirit in my warm heart, Providing the endless light, the forgiving flame and the love of life, Flowing like the water, refreshing the soul with new life.

This is my reply to you dear friend, Though the sun may set in the distance, Our souls will always be true in nature, And free to bind us together.

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Conscience in Love

One World, Two worlds, Two girls… Today’s world speaks of easy choices Where consumer sovereignty governs all taste But what of Love?

There is no formula, No trend, no theory, Not even the forces of supply and demand… Just Conscience.

A conscience that will not choose Nor yield, nor change its conclusion. This is a plague that spreads from inside Heart before mind… spells disaster.

Or maybe it can not be defined For no one has knowledge of such a thing Nor is it contained in the empty pages of a dictionary Conscience can not define Love As Love can not define itself.

A sweet salad of emotion Unique to its Creator Who is neither rational nor normal… Just in Love.

A love that he has a right to Yet no control over… For it is a plague of emotion.

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In the Form of Misadventure

What is this?

Maybe a wrong turn taken somewhere Or maybe a miscalculation of coming events Whichever it is… it has come and gone. NO longer is the choice made.

For what we decide now, Will decide later too Like a tragedy of Shakespeare, The rock has been pushed

No one can stop it from rolling down the hill As no one can change the past… Instead… Just hope for the future… Today.

The present is what matters Learn now, think now, and reflect now, Assess later, judge never, change future. Therefore… the path is set, Not now… but after it is walked over And the foundations are laid.

With everyday, another pavement is laid Here is where the Confusion Blast is. Sand will blow, dust will rise And land be developed With the stones of uncertainty And the cement of instability.

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And as you will grow, So too will the cracks that exist grow.

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My Realisation

It’s the last day of the yearAnd I want to get everything out. I don’t want to leave anything behind But at the same time I want a fresh start.

You meant a lot to me And I think you still do. It was all going well… It was all going according to plan.

Until I sacrificed my happiness For the reality that is YOUR future So that you will not be distracted And be the best that you can be.

And yet, through all the confusion A sense of unfairness and injustice Arose from an innocent picnic This destroyed any chance for you and me.

And everything around me collapsed As usual, my anger took hold… But I continued to try my best And a last glimmer of hope appeared.

But like everything else in this bitter world, It quickly disappeared… Hope was just a dream It was all a dream, except for the one memory Of a quiet night on my cousin’s porch…

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Everything else is gone…

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Treasured Love that Aches

We share a common star… a common night sky…a common Love. What brings us together… divides us! My life is driven by the thought of being able to hold you in my arms Close to my heart.

You have my heart You have part of me. And it will continue to ache Until, I am reunited with my own self… You.

That is why I will never be able to let you go. I cannot be separated from myself any longer – It hurts too much.

As Eve was part of AdamYou are part of me. You have the key to unlocking my heart Which has seized to process, analysis and judge As he has firmly set his sights on a treasure Lost somewhere in the south of England.

Like a ruthless Pirate I will search and shall find Secluded Love in a cottage By the country side With the fire keeping us warm So too will our Love heat up the night!!!

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So I plea to thee For the Love of God… For the Love of thy That thee may ease thy troubles Unlock thy heart And hold thee in thy arms Forever… I pray… Forever.

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Viva Forever

It was a dream short lived A single flower blossoming in harsh surroundings Maybe a glimpse of hope For the herds of creatures migrating through its glowing path

But how can this flower grow When even water is kept from it Held back from its potential As the forest constraints it to join its ranks And leave its inner beauty behind

For that is society today,A forest of money trees being conserved Here, irrational behaviour sometimes referred to as love Is not tolerated… just like the flower.

So in the same way they separate… And fall… And drift and touch On the dry, arid land that was never stable.

Poor flower… Built on foundations of Love That cripples under the forces of its surroundings, With the weeds that choke the flower of its misery. As to does my inner beauty cripple and choke And evaporate along with my heart.

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You tried to unlock it with a key Which I supplied you But as usual, the lock did not turn And my true self remains forever sealed and isolated.

I can’t escape my surroundings As this world cripples me It hurts too much and I can’t hold on To you… let alone me.

So I break a promise And let you go Although refuse to say goodbye But instead… viva forever… My Love.

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Village Child

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A Blast of Confused Love

Poor girl… She is just as confused as I But her eyes give away a true love This is an ideal romance A love so filled with a confusion blast That it is free to wonder the corridors of time And travel the lands on foot

A perfect combination A battle between a stable future, Where freedom is free to love… And a desire to know the truth Of whether the future of love Will cross their paths again

She does not admit But her eyes give away the answer Withholding the truth from me Until Later… When the future love becomes the present love And our paths cross again But when that time comes we will not separate!

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Eastern Enigma

Finally… in the midst of a distant belonging Realisation has taken place, its place Like a shining star beaming high above A majestic awakening sound asleep.

Longing, dreaming that your reality Will be truthful by opening up memories Looking far into a childhood past Where the dawning awakens back into the dream And flows through a complete night with a complete Moon. Flowing slowly, calmly till the shine meets our faces.

And reflects back into the distant night Travelling across the lost landscape. Looking for, looking out the window Staring at the complete Moon Thinking of the future memories That shines on his face.

And reflects back into the distant night Only to shine against a window From which a child stares out towards the East As tears come down his face.

The window protects him from the cold And yet it is because of the window that he is cold.

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Growth in Reverse

People strive to achieve People dream of success People enjoy existence Some even search for love

Hah, People, who is people? Just a species in the circle of life Just the keepers of Creation Just the girl next door

Some say that humans are different We are: Not humble, nor simplified But glorified and selfish-like

Power to the People People have the power Power is abused by people People really have no power

Everyone dies, everyone cries So why do People: Stride, dream, and contemplate Or even seek “true” Love

Because:-

People strive to put food on their tables People dream of being able to help their families People contemplate Life!

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Contemplating not the past, present or future of their lives But rather the day when it will all end forever.

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Isolated Existence

The passing of time Ever draws near Yet in the distance; Light, a star abandoned: All alone in the wilderness of space, Like a lost child roaming the desert floors.

This helpless child He is only limited For his youth is his own enemy Not knowing the path to follow And the sands of expectations pressuring; Pushing him further down Further away from a glimpse Of his one hope.

The passing of day As the sun faded away, far beyond the glowing mountains Unreachable to the child Abandoned by his lonely mother To face solitary existence In a land where only time passes…

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My (Best) Friend

She is all that I should know, I’m her friend Friend, the hardest job in the world But Friendship shouldn’t be a job. It should be a relationship – A helping hand or loving hug To support you through the times

She is all that Her smile, her long hair, Her funny laugh, (her sophisticated look) And yes, appearance isn’t everything But that’s what makes her beautiful

These are all I can comment on After all she is only a friend… not my girlfriend I wish I could tell her more I should be able to… I know her and that means that I love her.

Is there such a thing? She is a friend, she is a girl That’s more complicated Than just girlfriend! Maybe I should just be happy With the way things are Boyfriends don’t last but friends do But still I want to tell her How much I care How much I love her

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How proud I am of her Developing from a girl into a fine young lady

Indeed she is all that a friend can be So I must be pretty stupid to jeopardise that So I say to her sorry

“Sorry for everything, Life for me is not easy And I should not have hurt you like that… sorry”

Sealed with a tear

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Shepherd’s Child

It is true what they say, A human knows better When he is a child… A child immune to ideals, opinions and beliefs. Instead... he enjoys the fruits of their forefathers. This is clearly the case…A child plays, a child laughs. A child indulges in the beauty of God’s Creation, Whereas the adult formulates to destroy their environment.How is then an adult smarter? The Ultimate Hypocrisy… When adults educate their young, Even though it is clear that they are lacking. For a child possesses the knowledge of life. This education does not compare nor consider, Nor does it formulate or evaluate or justify or exaggerate. Instead, the pure fruits from a child are far more satisfying. It contemplates practices, identifies and appreciates. A child listens, understands and then continues to live. Who then is the real master? For a man’s sword conquers land but a child’s smile conquers hearts. Remember this son for without sheep there are no shepherds.

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Testimonial Truth

What if there was such a fixation as idealism, Instead of the obsession in economic prosperity we have today? Has the increased value of reality come at the expense of romanticism?Thereby justifying life to be merely a game of survival?

Have we lost touch with the innocent child inside each of us? Remember… the child that laughed as he played,Whose smile would delight Grandma’s face and help her forget her pain, At least for a while… that is, until the reality sets back in…

So maybe, idealism is in fact a dream in itself, A shear glimpse of hope for a dismal future, An escape from the awful truth and into a mindless fantasy, or even, A brief touching of Heaven’s door.

Hope could be best described as a far away star, At a young age, we gaze above towards the night sky, Standing on our tiny toes trying to touch the bright little dot, And then realising that we will never be able to.

Maybe that is the reality of adulthood,

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The realisation that we may never touch hope, Never touch the single fixation that we see in the sky, Failing… and therefore, limiting ourselves to our simple human capabilities.

Or instead we simply grow used to the presence ofthe stars, Taking fore granted the stars that we admired so much as children, Realising that having two feet on the ground will get the job done, Even if it means repeating the same mechanical process over and over.

So what is the lesson in all of this? No lesson really… just a little insight, A sight of the night sky and the twinkling in a child’s youthful eyes, Nothing more than mere bright dots in endless darkness.

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Inspired Homecoming

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Crusade up a Mountain

Mountain and sea Separate yet near Look down from up here Look up from down there

The snow falls And melts…Flowing down in a narrow stream Like a tear running down a cheek.

And that it is… The aching for your homeland For the soul is up there And he is down here

For what is missing is the road, The path to travel is steep. That is the current journey… For him. It is his mission… he will make it his mission.

I will rise up the ranks. And prepare well for my Crusade… To satisfy my soul by Reunification through Liberation Reaching ultimate glory… that is, Humility.

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The struggle for poverty The search for anxiety A fulfilment of purity Is the perfected key.

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For the Love of an Eternal Lebanon

As much as I have illustrated my love for my homeland, It now seems to me that all along I was holding onto a dream. Rather than looking at the reality of it all, I now see my Lebanon as a picturesque painted by my imagination and desire.

Had I mistaken my sense of belonging with a far reaching fantasy? Did I choose to ignore the certainty and instead formulate my own possibilities? This may be so, since my ideals come about through my dreams. By clinging onto my dreams of tomorrow, I may have neglected the reality of today.

Then why is it suggested that people realise their dreams by working in the present? That in order to reach your true destiny, you need to be aware of your goals, Following your plan wholeheartedly and with determination… And now I am left to ponder.

By growing up external to the reality of my homeland, I have been able to depict Lebanon as an ideal dream worth striving for.

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That every contact I make relating to my homeland is special, unique and divine. Every Lebanese person, discussion, cuisine, culture and beauty is entwined with the love present in my heart.

With every return trip, the dream is realised even though for a short moment. The sight of such splendour magnified by the content my soul feels When it is at ease in its home and in its dream. Eternal satisfaction is reached since conscience has now become physical.

So maybe my journey back home is more than just a physical one. A journey of the soul or rather the free spirit Seeking to realise its ideals and love it has developed in my mind and imagination And thereby releasing it into the externalities of nature and home.

Of course there is much to risk for me here. The failure of realising my dreams and the current Lebanese situation Far outweigh the imagination and ideals of a simple boy Especially one that is so far away.

However, as much as I have criticised Australian society,

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I have never criticised the poor quality of Lebanese society such as the failure of power and the inability of getting access to clean water. These are basic needs and yet I did not complain whereas in Australia I complain about the extraordinary and never-ending wants.

Perhaps this is the truth of my dream. That I would rather see myself content with meagre possessions and a simple life Rather than pursue the wealth of modern society, Since I truly find greater happiness it the former.

For I tell you, this is my destiny… And it should be also your destiny. The Lebanese have become obsessed with the materials of technology and industry That they have forgotten the ideals and most of the entire dream.

The dream of the ancient Maronite Monks whose meagre existence Engraved the fundamentals of our culture into our land. And now, as these engravings erode along with the fertile soil, Hope is becoming lost among the urban jungle and wilderness of evil.

Return to your faith! Return to your home! Return to your family! For none of the above can exist without the other.

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God calls you to return to your faith! God calls you to return to your home! God calls you to return to your family! And as a servant of God, I for one intend to follow his path of hope…

His path towards my faith, my home and my family… for this path is my destiny. This path is not layered with gold or silver. It is not guided by satellite or the light of computer graphics And the final destination is most definitely not fame or fortune.

Rather this path is a simple stone path, Guided by trees and shrubs down towards the inner valley Lighted by the strength of my faith and my love Where the final destination is found in the stream of the water spring which purifies and enlightens the soul, preparing it for eternal life!

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For the Hate of the Existing Lebanon

I had never thought I'd ever place the words "hate" and "Lebanon" in the same sentence,the disappointment of being witness to the current reality has changed this. By looking at the disgusting reality of the present, Lebanon is seen to be a victim of human destruction and selfishness.

Where is the love in the land I once dreamed of? Where is the pride and passion in the rich soils of the Cedars? For so long we have made ourselves deaf from the moans of the mountains, for so long we have ignored the cries of the Cedar tree.

The time for displaying such a pathetic charade is over, the time has come for the difficult work at hand, to realise the mistakes of the past and begin something new, new projects of rebuilding, reconciliation and renewal.

If you truly love your country then you will work hard to regain its sovereignty, I call you to work and to show pride in your work rather than through your fashion, For this is your final call, this is the final word, From God to his people, for judgement day is near.

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And those that continue to stroll in the wilderness, Unhindered by the calls for unity, freedom and eternal justice, you will be punished accordingly, you will be judged and you will be found wanting.

Dare not ask for justice in the after life; for you are a stranger to justice and you are a stranger to God, This time, no stranger will set foot in God’s house, for they had destroyed the house of Lebanon.

To those enemies of truth and justice, be warned, for the rise of the true order is at hand, and the fall of human injustice is near, for the army of God is building its armoury, Yielding true power that has no equal… not on Earth… not in the Universe.

The Lebanon in my dreams will be realised! Evil will be destroyed in the end, and Lebanon will be made Heaven once more, go now in search of peace and love of the one true Lord.

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My Homeland

The land of my home My home in my land The spirit of my land Welcomed into my home Into my heart United by love for my country But divided by ocean and sea

Two realities but one dream Dreaming this to be forever my reality For it feels good to be greeting and welcomed by the sound of the ‘Ud and the beat of the drums

This is my homeland This is where I am free forever

My soul lives here Together with my neighbours, family and friends This is where I am free now and forever.

Amen.

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Solution

The continents exist without communication Individual worlds separated by barriers Dividing the potential unification Of the ideal known to us as Utopia

But who created these great dividers Is it the cultures or the attitudes? Of people who hold back the key To unlocking the spiritual mystery Behind the masks that they wear?

Differences in the unique character Result in fatal confrontations The clash of beliefs, personal Objectives and evil Provide the front as well as the frontier For which we conquer or be conquered in our internal worlds That is the choice we face today Do we continue to live our hectic lives? And move into a ‘pessimistic’ future Or do we look about and assist others And move into an ‘optimistic’ future.

It is your call!

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The Simplicity of the Way

Staring outside the windowNotice that the life you know, Passes, so quickly, before your very eyes Not to say that there is no stationary points to the continuous curve But instead stations along the way of your journey Moments in the life of a worker, Who takes notice and appreciates, When he transforms the rich resources given to him from a higher source of energy, Into the beauty of the world today.

Follow a routine and you will arrive; To the next station; And begin again, And so the cycle of life continues.

He who chooses his journey through hard work, Will be fulfilled at the end and not at the beginning; Destination realised; Situation finalised; The last step into a real hope: Where dreams begin in reality, And rest is finally granted, for eternity!

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Timeless Travel

Listen to the whisper of the wind Preaching its purity, Cleansing you through the flute of fruits Feeding the lost goodness from a land divided by reality and dreams

But it is not for you to know which is which and what is what For Lebanon’s beauty is incomparable to any object Here, everything has a past, Everything has a story to tell From the fish in the Mediterranean to the stores of Baalbek to the churches of Lebanon of the mount Reflect not on these but on the spirit within these Change has affected their physical nature but the spirit remains alive… Alive in the hearts of the people Shown through their music, art and hospitality

Lebanon is indeed alive The struggle for freedom Stronger than ever Seen in the cries of the trees And the screams of the mountains Let’s hope the people listen.

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Valley of Complexity

We began at separate ends But it was a beginning we were searching for Miles apart But close in our hearts

For no valley can divide a love this strong I just hope that our paths meet So we can complete the journey to eternity together.

We can not see each other from far Not from the mountain peaks Nor from the highest cliffs For the valley divides all and closes in And looks deep into the heart of the land

And I too shall look Deep into my heart To find my one true love In a land so beautiful That the eyes can not help but stare And the vivid image is captured inside Sealed forever by a love so strong; Until I return to my homeland… and to my girl.

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Treasured Memories

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Exquisite Angel

From our initial contact It felt as if God had sent me an angel To guard me, to push me into the water! To have fun as if were forever young

Innocent in her touch Delicate in her stunning beauty Whose insight made us closer To ourselves and to each other?

With the innocence of an angel And the humour of a child No one can imagine such a friend A friend that is only seen in dreams

For she is my angel friend My problem solver, my study partner The dream of her lasts forever As we still continue to be together.

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Risen Princess

From the beginning Like a sun rising in the morning, Warm and understanding Lighting up the atmosphere with her unforgettable smile

Warrior Princess whose beauty prevails over every battle Simple in her ways yet wise in her advice Who advices us on how to fight through life Solving complexities with such ease

Calling out to my dear friend My voice beckons to rise above the sounds of laughter and chatter And cry out to dear Princess For the pink in her cheeks shows the love in her heart

And long after school is over And we walk to the next chapter in our lives May we walk together forever? And make this a walk to remember.

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Humbled Appearance

Our initial engagement may have been misguided Labelling her a bimbo not entirely justifiable Yet, with time, a soft sweetness was awoken Always smiling, always there for us

She dreams her own destiny Works with up most perfection Determined to succeed independently As if she were a modern day Barbie

My love for her cannot be expressed by words Nor can my appreciation for her advice With admiration for her ability to dream I long for a forever friendship

And with the stress attacks Eating sessions and coffee obsession I look long and hard into her eyes In silence, and tell her what my words cannot.

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Warm Partner in Life

Hand in hand, heart in heart Neighbours at birth Cousins by blood Never apart

A partner so close That her presence is felt And her funny laugh is heard Even from the drain

Partner in life Who hears his every word? And shares his every emotion He tells her that nothing can separate them

They will grow old together Partners forever… Neighbours by birth, Family at heart.

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Companion for Life

She encourages, she appreciates My first true friend With her positive thoughts And meaningful companionship

Never leaving the side of her friends Such determination and intelligence Placing her in a class of her own And yet, she remains there for everyone

With her heart of gold And her satisfying apples This chicken is no where near headless Instead, choosing to have fun

And what fun it has been over the years Memory upon memories Always bringing a smile, sometimes a tear But one thing is certain, she will remain near.

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Innocent Perfection

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A Final Word…

The dreaded day has come Finding its way to us in the darkness of night And with one defining blow Has taken my love away from me.

I was given a final word to say, A final cry for justice, a final good bye, But the empty words rolled off my tongue Too weak to stop the kidnapping of my heart.

And now, as it was before I had stepped into what was Paradise, I am left in the dark, to fend for myself like a lonely wolf with a lonely heart. With the thought of what could have been With the wish for another dream… of her, in my arms and in my heart.

We tried to seek out innocence and respect We asked for the protection of God And the guidance of the angels But some things were never meant to be.

Instead, this has become another bitter love story Of human selfishness and suffering on both sides, A story not worth telling since it has always been a reality for all people With this being its final chapter.

With the final chapter comes the final word,

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A word as low as all other words, a word that is as empty as my soul right now. The bitter word that is feared when it is whispered and echoed long into the darkness, This word they call… Goodbye.

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Cute Little Girl

Like a little girl playing with her dolls Such innocence is unmatched Like a child who has the wings of an angel And the soft heart of a trusted companion

On the outside she may seem harsh, upfront and maybe even defensive But these can not shield her inner beauty Which she tries so hard to protect from her harsh environmentSo she won’t get hurt

Instead, she prefers to feel safe, secure, Like a child playing in a fortified garden, A secret garden whose flowers blossom as if it were spring all year round Sitting on the swing, thinking, wondering who she really is.

And now, someone has knocked on the gate And asked to come inside and play with her For his heart is like the garden And he will protect her and keep her safe.

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Journey to where Love takes you…

With a breath of fresh air With the sound of the sweetest voice Life is returned to me By one unique individual

That special person that I had searched for in my dreams Whose love provided me with such strength? On an unprecedented scale Of such enormous magnitude

Such love can never be broken Such emotion can never be found wanting For this is the human equivalent to eternal bliss Perfectly innocent with no weakness

This is what we share A tradition based on heavenly dreams A life based on mutual respect A union of more than just physical proportions

This is a relation of one girl and one boy And their discovery of themselves, and each other.

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The Sweet Scent of Innocence

Walking a path without real purpose, Bemused by the winding stone path, A sudden wind sweeps the floor clean of the autumn leaves And forces the old rusted gate open.

The open path beckoned that I enter And I discover, explore and seek truth,For potential magic lay ahead Since the power was already beginning to overwhelm my heart.

Looking around in search of nobility, In search of belonging, In search of a companion who wears similar shoes, Who is lonely and who I have now found…

With every step, we move forward, Breeze in our backs, hand in hand, Until the path reaches its final destination A garden simple in its grace yet magical in its scent

Sweet and innocent Rose in the bushes, I call out to you; I give you my hand,To protect you from the harsh weeds of a foreign society, To care for you as if you were my own.

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Inscribed by Angels

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Awaiting Splendour

As the dream draws closer The journey’s end becomes clearer in my vision Striding to reach the final destination In anticipation of receiving the cheers and admiration of all those who are about to witness this… For victory is about to be realised.

My imagination begins to form the image of my prize An undiscovered Lebanese splendour So pure and innocent That she leaves me in awe with every soft word she speaks As if I was still dreaming.

I want to reach the finish I want to touch my angel I want to forever hold her tightly in my arms As I do in my dreams, so I will do in reality soon If only for a short while, my dream will be realised soon.

Awaiting anxiously for her splendour My patience is wearing thin And my heart calls out even louder to his partner Knowing that soon he will have her close to him Even though it will be for just awhile.

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Captured Perfection within a Jar

Captured perfection within a jar Tightly sealed in all its purity You gave me something to spread onto my dreamsAnd made them real… if for only just one moment

But that was enough… to get me hooked On sweetness so beautiful… That… that… that it’s incomprehensible After all… we are separated by land and sea.

But yet I pray… that deep down, one day… The closeness of our immaculate soulsFar out weighs our physical divide… Together forever… in our homeland, fulfilled.

Worthwhile friend, listen to your heart. Don’t deny me an angel of God. Brave Alb needs his Queen To support thy, and aye to you.

Finding you was like finding invaluable treasure, Please don’t shut the chest on me So that my eyes can not be mesmerised by the beauty inside I shall never forgive myself if this be ever so.

Don’t fly away Angel… You are safe where you landed, In my fortified heart, Where you will sit on your throne and reign supreme…

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Distanced Angel

Far away spirit, far away being, My heart calls out to you With a whisper that breaks threw the passage of time Like an echo that covers great distance, I call out to you…

My heart begs for his companion My spirit longs for its partner My body aches to be touched, just once… This is all I ask, this is all I know, This is all I feel…

After all, I don’t want to be denied an angel, I don’t want to be denied the truth, I want to be selfish; I want you to be mine, Forever close in my heart, no matter how far, Because that is how it is, and ever will be, in my dreams.

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Journey to the Heart

Across some majestic plains, High above that beloved mountain peak Where the orange horizon makes its patriotic entry Into this visible world

With memories of my travels And cherished times with his acquaintances through convenience much has been seen And much more has been forgotten.

But, amongst the confusion of such a journey Whose map were the stars of a night sky And with little thought and even fewer words A special star was spotted.

In her supreme beauty And simple nature She has brightened the night sky And forced him to stop and take notice!

She is above the plains, Above the mountains Far more beautiful than nature itself, Yet so unattainable just like anything in this world that is of true value.

He have been granted her friendship And he is grateful… But he longs for more,

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For she is nothing like the many things that he has seen before.

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Dream Draws Near

The longing for the dream to be realised Approaches as the day draws near When I shall wake from my dream And find myself in paradise.

For I will either be dreaming Or living in paradise Touching the splendour with my own hands As if it was all just a reality.

As it was in my dreams So too will it be in the coming weeks And with time I will appreciate all that I have.

For I will either be dreaming Or living in paradise Touching the splendour with my own hands As if it was all just a reality.

So too will it be a dream for her A realised beauty Ready to be placed on her throne For the wind has brought me back to her.

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Key to my Salvation

My sweet dream now has a sweet face… A sweet face too gentle to touch… Permitting an everlasting gaze into her innocent eyes… Bewildered by the shine of her eyes as I look deep down inside… Realising the treasure that God has waiting for me.

My senses overwhelmed by the presence of such atreasure A simple being… A dream, being… being realised… No, not being alone… but angel… Elevated to Enlightenment through her presence inmy dreams.

In fact, it is her presence that has elevated my dreams The treasure herself has enriched me through her pure existence Enriched my soul with unrivalled strength And provided me with a strong hope that there is still a chance, Of returning Home and living out my days as a free angel… with my angel.

I long to satisfy my deepest desire and realise her beauty… my awe… Her face… my touch, Her eyes… my gaze,

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Her strength… my treasure, Her dream... my dream… into reality…

Beirut truly is the city of angel… my angel…

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Simplistic Defiance of Majestic Nobility

She sits on her throne as if it was hers, Cushion beneath her as she welcomes home her brave knight. High above her people, she is alone and isolated… For she is unaware of the suffering of her people.

Her people say she is insightful and modest But her knight who gentle kisses his lady’s hand Longing for the simplicity and humility of life to return to her… His deepest desires revolving around her.

However, she sees him as merely a talented knight Whose beginnings were of common folk? She had heard that he had left his village, In search of glory and in pursuit of his dreams.

Yet she is unaware of the journey he had just returned from, Battling long into the dark against the temptations of evil In order to stay divine and continue to serve his lady With all his strength and all his love.

Circumstances have hindered a successful return from battle But he promises to set out again and continue his struggle

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With the irony of his objective being to return to his peaceful and simple home And live in peace with his lady.

However, he is no longer sure of his dreams As he was sure in dealing with his foes in battle. And now… he kneels in front of her, in defiance and in solidarity with his dreams and love, Knowing full well that he can not guarantee her a decisive victory.

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To my Angel,

Temptation Defeated

To you my Princess, I tell you this, That no matter how much distance may hinder our unity, No force shall obstruct our sweet dream.

I reaffirm my love for my lady, And address her, Swearing my allegiance and loyalty To serve this angel of God… her and no other.

You are my banner and my morale, With me as I cross the countryside, To the open plains of nature’s glory, Seek the path towards you… and towards my destiny.

Like an Angelic Knight who fights with passion, Refusing to lie down my sword, And even more so, refusing to war for anybody else. Preferring instead to fight till the bitter end.

Because I understand, That the hope I have found in loyalty, Will bring me closer to you… Closer towards my destiny… and comprehensive victory.

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Don’t be afraid my angel, You are safe where you landed, I will make my landing soon And bring you word of our victory, personally…

For no vast empire is comparable, No territory, no throne, no kingdom… comes close. My angel far exceeds all these worthless things… And that is why I fight under her banner.

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To you, Girl of my Dreams

With the fire of desire in her eyes Gazing elegantly at me As if she were the one dreaming I return the stare and give a delicate touch

With the natural dark hair I can taste the flavour of my homeland On her soft lips… Her heart is close to mine…

Never have I appreciated such beauty In character, in looks, in soul Whose purity and simplicity on the inside Is matched by her sophistication and talent on the outside

In my dreams, she was always mine And now I have found her in reality To admire, to hold… to love For she is the lady of my dreams.

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Prayer to my Love and Faith

Dear God, to you I owe you much I give you thanks and praise For without you, none of this is possible I hope to continue to serve you

You give me words to place on paper I give these words to you in recognition of your glory, You give me love; you give me a partner, A unique experience to share with another

I give you thanks for the short time For allowing me a vision of my dreams in my present reality, For making my angel real I am forever grateful

I just have one more thing to ask of you That you grant me my dream To live in Lebanon and in my home, To love in Lebanon and be with my angel

You have always known this to be my dream since I was young Please give me the strength, Please give her the strength, That we can all make it real… together, forever.

Amen

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Unified Dream

Beneath the branches across the mountains Far into the depths of the holy enclaves... Lay an ambitious boy and a beautiful girl, World’s apart and yet near at heart, And yet they managed to find each other.

Guided by the night sky, stars, And the Maronite crosses on the cave walls, They light up a small fire, burning fiercely in their respective hearts... Glowing... and growing.

Bonded by a spiritual force, Only present amongst angels, Unified in a sacred land which they call HOME... And now... physically together... forever... Camping amongst the Cedars of Lebanon...

Their love will be just as strong, Since their blood is that of the Cedars... So too will their sons and daughters Have the holy water of the springs flow freely inside them…

Protecting this tree, this home and most importantly his Lady. For this undermines his return to his homeland And epitomises his ambition and strength As an Angel Knight... for that is what Brave Alb is...

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She was right... and now... he is hers...

Majestic as she is in her beauty, She amazed him with all her glory And opened the seemingly sealed doorway To a future where all his dreams will be fulfilled Because she will be with him… for the rest of the walk.

He will protect her for the rest of the way… Because she is his Lady. A respect so desirable and delicate… That he is afraid to touch… In fear of violating her purity and perfection.

He will come for you my Lady. Do not be afraid, do not feel weak… Feel hope, Feel free… After all… the knight will return to his home to claim what is rightfully his...

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Victory of the Present

Returning from a distant land Receiving a hostile reception With respect to cultural changes Now present in my homeland

The one true salvation, I found in my ever-present God And now, in my forever love, My Queen, whose kiss makes it all worthwhile

With her soft delicate touch All my tiredness, all my pain, Disappear like smoke rising into the sky… So to we will rise!

Once again, I must leave my love For just awhile more, to battle long and hard, To ensure a safe and prosperous return And a fairy tale ending

I asked thee to light a candle in my absence That I may be the light in her night And the light in her heart For our love shall burn for eternity.

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Strength & Honour

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A Natural Question

Returning to his beloved heartland In great anticipation of what will be So overwhelmed by his natural vision That his eyes twitch from the brightness

And now, upon his discovery, Upon his walk in search of truth He has found his desired answer… But his dares not understand

Too weak from his journey To this sacred and holy place No energy is left to fully appreciate such beauty Rather he would sit and stare silently…

Without thought, without analysis, Neither he nor time is completely ready To fulfil such an obligation And answer the question of nature.

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Natural Wonder

It’s no wonder this place is considered sacred The sound of the church bells Echoing into the distant deep valley Carried by the purity of the wind

With every breath comes a refreshing thought Equivalent to the taste of the Eucharist on the tongue Providing a holistic sensation to all human senses And yet the feeling remains divine

The wind begins to call out Begging for freedom from within the valley Entrapped by the high slopes on all sides Preferring to escape rather than stay

And the Shepard begs, the old woman prays, Stay dear wind, breath of life… Your search is in this valley… And no where else in this world.

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… Of the Soul

Pondering what has been Dreaming what is to be Never ceasing to fulfil all curiosity Instead choosing to think

To think with imagination To search with an open mind And close all negative memories Instead choosing happiness

And inside every desire Behind every closed door The open imagination draws closer Spreading like a mist amid strong resolve.

Once the chaos is gone All that remains is a revealed truth About humanity, about uniqueness, Only needing a final natural blessing

With desire, with love May the dreams become the fate And the search be completed For there is need for nothing else.

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Paralysing Dream

Finally, as if to say that the truth has been realised As to say that this is the final destination That all my work will bring me down Or should I rather say here.

The words would flow out of my mouth And down onto the paper like a waterfall The source of all my work has become external For the dream has left my heart and stands facing me

With the awe on my face The truth has become overwhelming And emptiness has made itself at home in my mind Feeling an empty hope to protect me from sadness

The dream has left me paralysed I feel as if I am sleeping And yet my eyes remain open Refusing to love… knowing full well that it is a dream And I shall have to wake up soon…

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Satisfying Pleasure

The experience of physical satisfaction Bringing completeness to the body Hunger is met by warm hospitality Beautiful food grown in holy ground

The nutrients from this divine earth Enter the body with a trumpeting parade Liberating the body from hunger And providing a special energy

The pleasure on one’s face After such a satisfying feast The satisfaction can be seen in the filled stomach And laugh on his innocent face

And finally, spring water washes it down, Such freshness, such purity, That more than just the body is satisfied For this is the food of complete life.

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Victim of Good

What is the point of it all? For so long, holding on… Rejecting temptation, rejecting corruption And for what?

Finally, I have found something worthwhile And yet she rejects me As if I am the evil source of this earth, An earth of which I do not belong

Neither in Australia, nor in Lebanon Is there true freedom, true life, Instead, a poisoned reality filled with hate And lies and victims of temptation

All that remains is my dreams And my pure soul On the verge of destruction No longer able to hold on…

I asked and prayed for an angel To fill in the cracks and make me strong again To wake me from my long sleep… Did I find her?

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Social Belief, Naturally

Out of this amazing wilderness Comes a people so determined, So strong, complete due to their struggle Against natural hazards and hostile neighbours

Never has a minority had such an impact Never has a minority endured such pain And yet, with strength and unity They reach the mountain peak

From deep in the valley of God They walk, climbing to their potential With the gifts that God gave them And the belief in forever freedom

Their true leader appears at the head Calling on his people to push harder But in failing to reinforce their position, Within their valley, within their God

The neighbours attack And ground gives way Sending the now separated people Down to the dark shadows of their valley.

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Social Belief, Misguided

Why did they fall to the darkness? For some meagre reason, the people became divided A struggle began amongst them Each group seeking control of destiny

For some meagre reason, their faith disappeared Instead of placing their trust in their Saviour They conjured their own beliefs and faith Losing the one guide who knew the way to the top

Their hostile neighbours seized this opportunity Taking advantage of their opponent’s weaknesses Leaping at them in cold blood The slaughter of the struggle of history, again

And with the death of their faith, With the death of their unity Came the death of their children And their future.

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Provoked Justification

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A Soft Touch of Her Face, a Firm Grip of Her Hand

She is but a simple grace glowing vividly like a star in the night sky, Never overshadowed by the darkness of her surroundings,Instead, she beams with her smile expressing her true love for all to see, I admire with upmost respect and in honour to be acquainted with such a beautiful friend.

If she had lived in medieval times, she would have been seated on the most prestigious throne, For she is a dear lady, a shining princess and a caring queen, Petite in her manner, polite in her speech. She is seated in the throne of my heart… for she is my dear friend.

People dream of having such a loving friend, And yet I have been given this in reality. Sweet and never hurtful, sensitive to every circumstance, I truly am thankful to God for this angel.

I wish her well and all the best; I kiss and hug her always, She deserves the most special dreams to be realised, To meet a man of unforeseen equivalence in strength and honour,

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For she deserves the most loyal Prince and nothing less, Indeed, she is the brightest star in the night sky.

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To our mother,

Appreciated Simplicity

Strong, yet caring, Strict, yet loving, Simple, yet effective, Sensible, yet outgoing.

Holy, yet friendly, Human, yet Saint, Heavenly, yet down to earth, Happy, yet content.

No words can express our thanks for you, No kiss or hug can express our love for you, No gesture can express our respect for you, No action can express our appreciation for you.

You, together with father, brought us up, Making us who we are today, Proud to be what we are, Yet still remain humble about it.

As we continue to grow, let me say, That you may be concerned that we move away, Since we have our own life now… But, no matter how far mother, your presence remains in our hearts.

Just as you are in our hearts, We will continue to hold your hand,

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As we cross the road of life Towards the Kingdom of God, just as you taught us to.

We hope by doing so, That we may bring happiness and joy to your life, And that although you are far away from your family, That we may teach you… as you taught us… That distance and separation are nothing, and that love is everything. And with this in mind, we say to you… We love you, mother…

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Delightful Awakening

Such mesmerising beauty has never found such majesty In the hollow surroundings of an untamed nature Paralysed by the one bright light unearthing the secluded region And in the centre she stands tall.

Such is her determination to be seen in the world That her delicate touch turns reality into dreams And throughout her whole self there is a growing glow So real that she overshadows all thoughts and ideals.

Her strength is unrivalled amongst her liking Looking up to her in admiration as if she were the Sun And how to praise such a being They know not, for she is merely one of them.

Humble in her gentle and warm acts She is cherished unlike the scorned earth Natural beauty and forever homely She has achieved far more than any other dears to desire.

Across the majestic wilderness A voice cries out her name And with the breeze the words are carried to her

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Listening to her silent dream, she shines out into the open.

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Erosion of One’s Dignity

The confidence is gone The invisibility to corruption has been revealed, The sole shield defending him against the evil forces of human nature penetrated, Obliterating his fundamental being one with his Spirit Sending all hope into the oblivion of the chaotic and grey urban culture.

This resemblance of chaos witnessed on the battlefield, As an arrow had penetrated the fine armour of the most brave soldier And pierced his sigh as if he were hunting game, No longer seen as the resilient warrior that he once was, His courage eroded by the blood that washed the dirt from his final resting place…

As the seasons pass the lifeless body slowly become desecrated, And the loss of morale, pride and divinity… such a poor soul! Brought about by death to his being and not just his body For the arrow had punctured his heart where the pain and suffering is never forgotten, As the wound sustained for his lady is eternal to his being.

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Innocent Encounter

Their paths cross as if it were a planned event, As if it was always meant to be, A destiny inscribed in hard rock Never to be erased, never to be ignored.

Like the shadow meeting the sun, So too will they meet as one, or as two, It matters not, for they are worried not, Because time will be the judge of their fortunes.

Destiny has always been a certain thing in life, With the hope of having certainty steer personal ambition Towards one’s unique but already structured fate, In life, in work and most definitely in love.

The only thing left now, Is to decide whether we are confident enough to reach our goal, Strong enough to stay as one, and Innocent enough to make the dream last forever.

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Passionate Temptation

Such Arabian beauty is unmeasurable,Her delicate touch, relaxing the Arabian stallion Down to a slow and deep breath, For such emotion is overwhelming.

The sensation of such an encounter, Of potential lovers, the potential of intense passion, Unmeasurable in the wake of their existence Incomprehensively in the face of all rationale.

And yet the love remains, The passion was forever realised, By her delicate touch, by his gentle kiss, The unification of bodies complete.

And how the fire burnt in the cabin, The cold of the winter was overcome By the warmth of their love And the promise of their touch.

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Pinnacle of Uniqueness

Her whisper had covered great distance And her voice heard far and wide Travelling the course of the serenity of sea And the overwhelming grandness of the mountain peaks.

And here, at this very moment As silence falls onto the ears of those that listen Her words touch his heart and his mind As if he had known her but for a while.

With the winds as her carrier Her message is heard loud and clear Her unique experience containing such importance That it is placed high above to overlook his journey.

With her becoming the map of his journey So too has she has become significant in his eyes And travelling together on parallel paths, They have broken through the barrier of time and discovered each other.

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Rapid Decline in Character

At first you could have called it denial, Hiding from the truth as if it was coming after you Like some sick disease preying on human weakness A weakness that is natural and related to the animal instinct that is present in all of them.

Proud to be unique in character Continually thinking that he was on a higher level At yet the uncertainty of his actions Continued to chase and haunt him as if it were a curse Sent forth to humble and bring his feet back down to earth.

The disappointment on his mere face Tells the epic journey resembling the tactics of guerrilla warfare Enduring the pain and frustration of being denied all hope, Realising that the struggle is becoming overwhelming, And finally, the certainty of falling victim to nature.

Suffering in his own failure The betrayal of his own morals Haunting him for the rest of his days As if it were a realisation of truth That he deserved no truth.

And now, darkness has crept in

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And the chaos has taken hold Of the character he thought himself to be Cleansed from the corruption of the world… In actual fact, the world has disintegrated his character.

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Silhouette on the Horizon

Gathering his thoughts of his once foreseeable journey He was caught unaware by a strange shadow. Such was its ambiguity that he instantly felt comfort in her presence Since she may have uprooted his loneliness and anxiety.

For in this shadow he has found light, Light from a similar source to his. Strange as it may seem, He has found a friend whose character is parallel to his own.

She appeared in the shadows of the night, Revealing her to him after a brief exchange of soft voice and sweet words. And now the words have a common face And the shadow has a beaming light.

Light that is so similar and has so much potential, That it energises and fuels the very essence of theirencounter. Across the horizon, silhouettes gliding across the empty plains, Their spirits dance and fly free.

For so long he has longed for a shadow, A shadow close to that of his. Instead seeking comfort in distant lands

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Preferring to pursue his dreams rather than his reality.

And now, she sits still Listening as a silhouette does, Not knowing what she thinks or what she feels Only knowing that she sounds similar to him.

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Simplistic Beauty

Like a construction in its early stage Building an image in one’s imagination Of how the final design will look, How it will feel.

And with admiration and in awe This creation can only be unique Innocent in her curiosity High flying in her dreams

Simple in her view of life Searching deeply within Looking quietly without Free in her feelings

Such is her specialty That all small things are appreciated All things are beautiful All things are simplistic yet sophisticated.

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United Separation… one being with the other side…

She comes from the other side, Of existence and of the storm, Developed by a different source Unknown to me in my isolated existence.

She came about my forces from the other side, Growing quietly and differently, Unique to me and to my being Yet, she amazes me because she is so close to me.

Different, yet so close, Far away and still, close Close to my seeking heart That I should try to reach the other side to see her.

And yet, across the distant ocean, I call out her name, And allow the wind to gentle send my words To the other side… and to her.

As the wind will carry my words, So to will I carry her name in my heart That one day I can touch my friend, Gently, and see into the eyes of the other side.

And if I see calmness, Then I will she her, For the storm will be over And we will be together.

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To separate and to hold, together To share and to divide, together To shine and to fade, together To talk in silence, together.

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Velvet Rose in a Forbidden Garden

Walking on the stoned pathway I stumble across a perfect flower With her petals shining as if she gave the sun its light And water droplets on its long stem.

The rose seems to be speaking to me With a delicate yet determined voice To tell me her forbidden secret That I will cherish with the fortress of my heart.

Protect the Rose from the harsh nature, she cries And remember its natural beauty So that I may place it in the rich soils of my heart Where she will grow and shine with glory forever.

My heart is now aware of her secret Leaving me in utter awe with her divinity And with her secret she has whispered her inner emotions… I love thee.

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Near Realisation

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Affirmation

Hidden secretly in an empty enclave, Dwelling on what could be tomorrow Envisioning a future truth That will one day set him free.

Awakening, with the sun shining on his face, He is startled and rises, because The light has given him that future truth, Enveloped in his current existence.

For it is now that he has seen the truth, And now that the Sun has risen, Bringing his truth closer to him, Bringing his Saviour closer within him.

He stands firm and gazes into the valley below, Hood still on and cedar wood cross around his neck, Delighted with what he sees And even more so, delighted by what he has found… and… what he will find…

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Belonging to the Spirit

Stretched far out and wide, Across the wings of the majestic doveGliding through the steep gorges Closely navigating the free flowing stream.

Behind every bend, behind every rock, Springs out the very earth Rich in minerals that support The luscious pastures we seek out together.

We seek out the olive branch, Far down in the pastures of the valley Knowing full well that only the purest water and most earthly path Can lead us to our enlightened destination.

Guided by my majestic spirit, Provided support and direction Even through the time when the stream seemed tohave dried up, And the rich earth seemed to have become mud.

We near the end of our journey, It has been rough, it has been wild, But we arrived whole-heartedly in the end, Finally reaching the olive tree of Eden.

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Envisioned Truth

As I remember who I was,I recall a time when I was young, Growing, glowing, learning… Forever, seeking truth in all my activities, Closely listening to the faintest whisper From my home and from Christ.

I found partial truth when I found partial wisdom, Knowing, that by knowing, you can understand more. Learning to understand and to ponder, Analysing such ideologies to their very depths, Focusing on the very ideal that brought me to this world, Receiving Christ from without and from within.

Devoted to my Saviour, I remain dedicated and loyal to you, my God… Fully committed to serving you alone, Through my deeds, my judgement and my works. I pray that you give me strength continue to seek the truth, In you… and through you.

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Eucharistic Thanksgiving

I thank you Lord for the holy bread That you have distributed to all your people. The unique food which not only satisfies the body But also the mind and spirit.

To you, Jesus Christ, I give thanks For providing us with the divine possibility Of gaining eternal happiness, By following the path of your Holy Spirit.

May the Eucharist continue To provide us with the energy, The satisfaction and the devotion To continue the work which you had started.

May you protect us against evil And guide us to divine perfection As we grow closer to you,And to your forgiving father.

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Exiled Return

Long has he waited for this precise moment, Wanting it so desperately That he would otherwise sacrifice his own freedom In order to once again breathe the air of his native home.

He slowly steps down upon his soil, Closing his eyes, gently lifting his head into its surroundingsTaking a deep breathe through his nose He once again purifies his inner being.

But all is not as it seems, With time, he realises an alarming truth Indeed this is his natural home, But this is not his natural brothers and sisters.

They have indeed aged with time, Not just physically but mentally as well, So stubbornly holding onto their out of date idealsThat had been based on falsified “truths”.

Now that he is here, He no longer felt those truths which gave him hope And inspired his long awaited return, He had felt more freedom in exile…

Had he returned to exile?

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Dedicated to our Saint Charbel,

Holy Child of the Cedar

They chant for you, dearest monk, Grateful for your gracious illustration Proud of your holy existence, Since they are of your own kind.

Echoing prayers for your undivided guidance, Deep voices coming together in one united stand, Calling for your affection and your protection… Not from their enemies but from their own self… and from each other.

The Church bell wakes the earth, The birds cease to sing, Instead they meditate in the presence of the chimes of the Saviour, Waiting the dawning of the risen Sun.

The holy scent of incense quickly feels the land, Spreading out of your isolated enclave, intervening with the mist of the great valley… And thereby bringing the Holy Spirit to the cedar trees and to the snowy mountains, Refreshing them, by providing them with a greater hope.

Your fine example dear Saint, Is forever cherished in these holy lands And in the hearts and souls of your fellow people

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May you give us the strength to set forth and continue your great works.

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Near Realisation of Faith

Finally, I have found perfection, In my uniting faith, Which has brought together Mind, Body and Spirit.

My dreams are no longer a distant vision, They have become a near realised reality. Finally, free to fulfil my obligations to my God To ponder… to write… to reveal truth to the world.

Change has formed my being And now certainty has resembled my existence With the wisdom to make better judgement And the strength to reach perfection.

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Superficial Love

Growing in his deepened heart, A love so near, yet to far to reach by hand He searched for a home, and yet he found a partner, Not because he was attached to his home, But because he was attached to his partner.

Love has once again interfered in his seeking of the truth, He now believes that in striving for perfection, He has found perfection… but in someone else… In striving to find the place he belonged to… He had found someone to take him there.

Lost between his heart and his soul… He is unaware of his current course, Yet he grips onto his personal strength and power And his devoted faith, to one day… Realising both his heart and soul… united togetherwithin his body… Within his loyal partner… And in the Eucharist of Christ.

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Thank you for the Blessing

To my Archangel Raphael, You guided and supported me for an entire week, Providing me with insight, wisdom and energy. To you, I say thank you with a kneel and a bow of my head For the words you gave me to depict my appreciation for such a supportive angel.

To my Lord Jesus Christ,Who taught the humble but disciplined way of life, Ever striving for perfection, through humility and poverty. To you, I say thank you with a prayer of thanks For your words full of wisdom and freedom, from such a perfect leader.

To my Holy Spirit The one who never leaves me, That by realising our unification, we found our destiny, together. To you, I say thank you with an inner smile and quiet silence For such content brought me closer to such an amazing being.

To my God, As the head of our faith, always watching all his children, You gave us your breath and keep us being.

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To you, I say thank you with a good deed and a good word For your words are nothing less than divine prayer said by a divine God.

To my Saint Charbel, You are the blessed link that will guide me back to perfection, Back to my homeland and to my childhood. To you, I say thank you with a humble existence and a patriotic ideology For your words were indeed simple actions done by such a devoted monk.

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The Calling

My dream calls out to me… A whispered vision drawing closer to me… Far into the distant sun, a light beams down, On the luscious green of the valley, Splendid in its tranquillity, a harmonious peace.

The sun, circular like the Eucharist, That gives life to the flowers, Which gives life to the soul, For just as the sun gives us warmth for our body Christ gives us warmth for our spirit.

The complete light is ever present, Manifested in the Holy Scriptures, Engraved in Cedar wood, Flowing out through the purest springs, and Set free in the heart.

Love is brought to the soul, To once again bring enlightenment To a humble and free being An existence where poverty and simplicity Discards all want and desire present in one’s self.

It is time to return to our humble beginnings, To once again place our trust in God And heed to the calling of the Maronite Order, To seek out truth rather than desire And regain the strength that is our faith.

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The Cross of My Spirit

The Cross… a symbol so simple yet so universal, A Holy Sacrifice so great, that no words can manifest it. You suffered the ultimate consequence to free us from our sins, At yet you achieved what no dream can ever achieve.

By your simple ways, dressed in the brown cloak of poverty and humility, You saved us all and overcame death, You banished our sins… the very things that hold us back… And set our spirits free.

You taught us that life is neither black nor white, That the true answer lies in the purest grey of our own soul, Uncorrupted by prejudice or judgement, Instead, spreading out from our cross to reach all your people.

So too, we will carry our cross, Together with you, our cross and your cross, Interwoven as if one spiritual being Indeed, we are but one.

By the power of the Holy Spirit, Our cross will be spread, through you… by us… Giving your love and hope to all who seek

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The inner strength of the sacred heart.

Our Blessed Lady from above will support us With foundations of forever binding love, Shown to us, as her unique and special children Guided under her care to draw near to our home and closer to our God.

Just as she binds us to God’s love, The Cedar also binds us to God’s Creation, His true physical evidence of that love That makes us strong and binds us to each other.

And to that Light in the distant sky, Which seem too far to reach, like perfection… Giving us hope in our belief, That one day we will in fact touch the heavens.

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Tribute to my God

His splendour is in the mountain filled with snow, His pureness flows out of its springs, His nurture waters the soil, That we call our home.

His support gives minerals to flowers, His guidance gives strength for them to grow, His Sun gives them light to breathe and develop.

So to can be said for man…

His power placed the man on the mountain, His image flows through us, His love gives us life, At home in our hearts.

His wisdom gives us knowledge to learn, His guidance gives us strength that we continue to strive for perfection, His support carries us in times of hardship, His Son gives us freedom from sin and eternal hope…

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Writing for Sake of Writing

These writings are merely words, Language has an inability to express such deep emotion, Because sometimes it lacks any greater meaning, Instead used to release personal anxiety.

The sight of documentation merely provided to persuade the senses, That something has been explained and something has been achieved, A sense of control returns to the being Once again allowing them to feel comfort in their own work.

You think, that by merely completing your poem, You have achieved your dreams? You think, that by placing your inner thoughts on paper, You have realised your potential?

Let me tell you simply, that you have not Words are just words Action must precede your words As it is this work that will get you somewhere.

Follow the path and don’t just merely talk about doing so, Fulfil your dreams and don’t just dream them, Provide solutions and don’t just criticise current situations,

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Assist those in need and don’t just bring them to light.

For you will be judged on your deeds not just on your intentions. And you will be required to satisfy The intention of your faith, Not just by reflection upon them but by realising them.

God created the world, God created life, You create your dreams, And you make your dreams real.

God bless you all in your endeavours…

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A Family Blessing

To my mother, You held our hand as we sought Jesus in our lives, Never leaving us, always praying for us. To you, I say thank you with a hug and kiss For no word can depict my longing appreciation for such a beautiful mother.

To my father, Who taught the disciplined way of learning, Ever striving for perfection, through knowledge and work. To you, I say thank you with a thought and a piece of advice For your words full of wisdom and tolerance, from such an insightful father.

To my brother, The one whose externalities are so different from mine, That by realising our differences, we found that we were the same. To you, I say thank you with a smile and a laugh For such happiness brought me closer to such an amazing brother.

To my Grandmother (Dad’s mother), As the head of her family she prays for all her children, You breathe for us and keep us afloat.

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To you, I say thank you with a pray and a gentle gaze For your words are nothing less than divine prayer said by such a divine mother.

To my Grandmother (Mum’s mother), You are the link to my homeland and to my childhood, Ever striving to do the best for your children. To you, I say thank you with a word and opened eyes For you words are depicted by the work done by such a loving mother.

To my Grandfather (Dad’s father), You never got a chance to meet many of us, Not only have you let me share your name, but you also shared your strong spirit. To you, I say thank you with a deep look inside myself For your words that is my conscience which I inherited from such a protective father.

To my Grandfather (Mum’s side), You held me as a child and you still continue to hold me, Caring for me whenever you have the opportunity. To you, I say thank you with a hug and an inner smile For the words that silently touch my heart, flowing freely from such a caring father.

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To my Zalloua family (Australia), Bringing me up as if I brother to you all, Shielding me from the complexities of our environment.To you all, I say thank you with a playful attitude and a serious thought For the words which we used to communicate witheach other.

To my Mawad Family (Lebanon), Welcoming me into your family, as if I had always been a part with you And not apart from you. To you all, I say thank you with a warm welcome and friendly hospitality For the words that made us all feel at home, in the presence with each other.

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Innocent Thought

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A Journey through Nature

I lay on my bed, staring at the Sprinkle of the rain on the concrete. As I look high above the storm, I feel a sense of hatred amongst the clouds. Gliding back down to a crystallised cave, I listen for the echo of the thunder. Suddenly, The result of anger came to a conclusion.

The clouds parted, the sun beamed brightly Across the open fields of the country town. As I glared at the blue, blue sky, A rainbow began to appear before my very eyes, The scene of such beautiful colours Amazed me, for I now know the meaning of life.

Freedom is so needed in this world, A journey through nature is the answer, An experience you will never forget For as long as you live In this world of love, Which is coming to an end?

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After Her

To her I opened my heart In the judgement that she is aware All the time thinking that she was realHow wrong I was indeed!

I admired her for her strength Which I realise now, That I saw it with my blind eyes, Once again I have been mistaken!

To believe that such a beauty existed, Only in my dreams could I see What I wanted her to be,A real human being!

Once again I fail to see What is in front of me?Ignoring the signs around And finally falling down!

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It

I walk down the steep slope Following the dirt winding road Past the gum trees, through the bushes Until I’m confronted by It,

It slowly comes towards me, Eyeing me from top to bottom,Over the rocks, closer and closer Until it has me targeted…

And then it leaps, through the hollow air Its speed and strength are over powering, With nothing to defend meIt strikes!

I try to shake it offBut it just keeps coming back, Weakening by the secondI tire from defending…..

It finally achieves its goal, I’m lying dead on the floor, Once It is released in the wild It cannot be stopped!

What is It?

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Tragedy

With smiles on our facesWe walk our path through life Nothing could make it any better Since we are experiencing perfection itself.

But things don’t always seem what they are, People come, people go, changes occur Along the path through life And the smiles begin to disappear.

We begin to fall….. Down, down, down Swirling in our recent memories Lower, lower, lower, lower, Confused by our own converted thoughts.

Slowing, breaking apart from the inside, Depression, the self-inflicted cancer Which threatens our own existence, Is unleashed with a mighty fury!

Lost and tired, we reach the final stage Crawling towards the thin border Which separates tragedy from eternity And we fulfil our final goal!

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Index

admiration, 64, 98, 108

ambition, 78, 101 angel, 52, 60, 64, 65,

67, 71, 72, 75, 76, 78, 89, 94, 123

Angel, 52, 65, 67, 75, 79

anger, 18, 136 appreciation, 96, 123,

131 Australia, 42, 89, 133,

148 awakening, 27 beauty, 22, 33, 41, 48,

49, 52, 53, 60, 65, 68, 70, 71, 77, 80, 84, 98, 102, 111, 137

Beirut, 72 belonging, 27, 40, 62 cedar, 114, 119 Cedar, 44, 119, 125,

127 character, 47, 77, 104,

105, 106 child, 27, 30, 33, 34,

35, 52, 60, 132 choice, 16, 47 Christ, 116, 117, 122,

123, 125

church, 85 cold, 27, 91, 102 companion, 60, 62,

67 companionship, 12 Confusion, 16 conscience, 15, 41,

132 control, 15, 91, 129 corruption, 89, 100,

105 Creator, 15 culture, 41, 42, 100,

148 darkness, 14, 35, 58,

59, 91, 94, 105 death, 91, 100, 126 defiance, 74 desire, 26, 40, 71, 77,

86, 98, 125 destination, 43, 62,

64, 87, 115 destiny, 40, 42, 43,

54, 75, 91, 101, 123 discovery, 61, 84 disease, 104 distance, 12, 14, 30,

67, 75, 97, 103 distant, 12, 27, 81, 85,

106, 109, 121, 125, 127

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divinity, 100, 111 dream, 18, 22, 27, 28,

34, 40, 41, 42, 46, 52, 54, 58, 64, 70, 71, 72, 75, 78, 87, 94, 99, 101, 125, 126, 129

dreams, 12, 13, 40, 41, 48, 49, 52, 61, 64, 65, 67, 71, 73, 74, 77, 78, 80, 86, 89, 94, 98, 107, 108, 121, 129, 130, 137

enemy, 30 energy, 48, 84, 88,

117, 123 Enlightenment, 71 eternity, 48, 50, 81,

139 evil, 42, 47, 73, 89,

100, 117 existence, 28, 30, 42,

71, 102, 109, 114, 119, 121, 124, 125, 139

expectations, 30 faith, 42, 43, 91, 121,

122, 123, 125, 130 family, 5, 43, 46, 97,

131, 133, 148 fantasy, 34, 40 fate, 86, 101 flower, 22, 111

Forever, 21, 22, 67, 116

free, 14, 26, 41, 46, 71, 80, 106, 114, 115, 121, 125, 126

freedom, 26, 49, 85, 89, 90, 118, 123, 128

friend, 12, 14, 31, 32, 52, 53, 56, 65, 94, 106, 109

friendship, 54, 68 Friendship, 31 future, 16, 18, 26, 27,

29, 34, 47, 80, 91, 114

garden, 60, 62 girl, 26, 28, 31, 32, 50,

60, 61, 79 glory, 38, 73, 75, 78,

80, 111 God, 3, 21, 33, 43,

52, 58, 65, 71, 75, 78, 81, 90, 94, 97, 116, 121, 123, 124, 125, 127, 128, 130

goodbye, 23 happiness, 18, 42, 86,

97, 117, 131 Hate, 44 heart, 12, 14, 20, 21,

22, 41, 46, 50, 53, 55, 56, 58, 60, 62,

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64, 65, 67, 77, 79, 81, 87, 94, 100, 103, 109, 111, 122, 125, 127, 132, 137

Heaven, 34, 45 home, 41, 42, 43, 46,

73, 74, 78, 79, 80, 87, 116, 118, 122, 127, 128, 133

homeland, 38, 40, 41, 46, 50, 65, 77, 79, 81, 124, 132

hope, 16, 18, 22, 30, 34, 35, 43, 48, 49, 50, 71, 75, 78, 80, 87, 97, 100, 101, 104, 118, 119, 126, 127, 128

horizon, 12, 68, 106 human, 33, 35, 58,

61, 85, 100, 104, 137

humanity, 86 Humility, 38 idealism, 34 imagination, 40, 41,

64, 86, 108 individual, 61 injustice, 18 innocence, 52, 58 innocent, 18, 34, 60,

61, 62, 64, 88 insight, 35, 52, 123

instability, 16 isolated, 23, 73, 109,

119 journey, 38, 41, 48,

50, 64, 68, 73, 84, 103, 104, 106, 115, 136

knowledge, 15, 33, 128, 131

land, 16, 22, 30, 33, 42, 46, 49, 50, 65, 79, 81, 119

Lebanon, 40, 44, 45, 49, 78, 79, 89, 133

light, 14, 43, 79, 81, 98, 106, 111, 114, 125, 128, 130

love, 14, 15, 22, 26, 28, 31, 40, 41, 43, 46, 50, 53, 54, 58, 61, 73, 74, 75, 77, 78, 79, 81, 86, 87, 94, 96, 97, 101, 102, 111, 122, 126, 127, 128, 136

loyalty, 75 Mafia, 45 Maronite, 42, 79, 125 memories, 27, 56, 68,

86, 139 memory, 12, 18 minority, 90 money, 22

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monk, 119, 124 Moon, 27 mother, 30, 96, 97,

131, 132 mountains, 30, 49,

68, 79, 119 nature, 14, 41, 49, 68,

75, 84, 98, 100, 104, 111, 136

neighbours, 46, 90, 91

night, 18, 20, 27, 34, 35, 58, 68, 79, 81, 94, 95, 106

nobility, 62 paradise, 70 partner, 52, 55, 64,

67, 78, 122 passion, 75, 102 past, 16, 27, 29, 49 patience, 64 peace, 74, 125 People, 28, 94, 139 perfection, 65, 80,

117, 121, 122, 123, 124, 127, 128, 131, 139

plague, 15 pleasure, 88 poverty, 39, 123, 125,

126 power, 28, 42, 45, 62,

122, 126, 128

present, 26, 29, 40, 41, 78, 79, 81, 125

pride, 44, 100 prosperity, 34 protection, 58, 119 purity, 49, 65, 77, 80,

85, 88 purpose, 62 rain, 136 realisation, 35, 104 reality, 13, 18, 27, 34,

40, 44, 46, 48, 49, 58, 64, 72, 77, 78, 89, 94, 98, 107, 121

reconciliation, 44 respect, 58, 61, 80,

81, 94, 96 return, 41, 43, 50, 73,

74, 77, 79, 80, 81, 118, 125

Return, 42, 43, 118 search, 20, 28, 39, 62,

73, 84, 85, 86 secret, 13, 14, 60, 111 separate, 22, 26, 50,

55, 110 Separate, 38 separated, 20, 47, 65,

90 silent, 13, 99 simplicity, 73, 77, 125 society, 22, 41, 42, 62 solidarity, 74

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soul, 12, 14, 38, 41, 43, 46, 59, 71, 77, 89, 100, 122, 125, 126

sovereignty, 15, 44 star, 12, 20, 27, 30,

34, 68, 94, 95 strength, 43, 61, 71,

73, 78, 79, 90, 94, 98, 116, 120, 121, 122, 125, 127, 128, 137, 138

struggle, 39, 49, 73, 90, 91, 104

sun, 12, 14, 30, 53, 101, 111, 114, 125, 136

Sun, 98, 114, 119, 128

temptation, 89 time, 18, 26, 30, 67,

78, 84, 101, 103, 115, 116, 118, 125, 137

treasure, 20, 65, 71

trees, 22, 43, 49, 119, 138

truth, 26, 34, 42, 62, 67, 84, 86, 87, 104, 114, 116, 118, 121, 122, 125

uncertainty, 16, 104 unity, 45, 75, 90, 91 valley, 43, 50, 85, 90,

114, 115, 119, 125 victim, 44, 104 vision, 64, 78, 84,

121, 125 voice, 12, 53, 61, 98,

103, 106, 111 water, 12, 14, 22, 42,

43, 52, 79, 88, 111, 115

wealth, 42 wilderness, 30, 42, 90,

98 wind, 49, 62, 85, 109 wisdom, 116, 121,

123, 128, 131 worlds, 15, 47

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About the Author

Boutros Joseph Zalloua was born on the 22 December 1982 in Sydney, Australia. He has been writing since the age of seven. His inspiration and motivation has always been found in his family, friends, country and culture. This book is a culmination of over ten years worth of work in expressing emotion and feeling towards these externalities. This book is a story of his development into an Australian Lebanese adult and a reflection of his experiences while living in a culturally diverse and sometimes difficult environment. Finally, the freedom of expression and the idealism of analysis is what made this book real. Hopefully you will be inspired by this book and realise your full potential as you yourself grow too.

Lebanon has been one of the strongest inspirations with its glorious Cedars and white mountains. However, in the search of truth it must be pointed out that there is a harsh reality evident in Lebanon today. Such is the complexity of Lebanon that true peace and freedom may always remain a dream just as the words in this book are a simple example of idealistic art intertwined with a depiction of human reality.

“Every man dies, not every man really lives.” - BraveHeart

http://www.poetrypoem.com/bjzalloua

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