626 W. Drury LaneOxford, England June 16, 1821 Sir Edward HitchingsMayor of Oxford243 E. Abingdon Rd.Oxford, England Dear Mayor Hitchings: I am The Muffin Man, and I am writing to you because I have a problem. Mother Goose has written a nursery rhyme with my name and street name, without my consent, and ever since then I’ve had nothing but trouble. You see, I’ve lived on Drury Lane quite comfortably and safely until she involved me in her little ditty. Now, I can’t sleep at night because of the constant mayhem people cause outside of my home. Children taunt me as I walk to my job at the bakery. It’s practically made me incapable of going out. It’s simply unfair to be treated like this, and I’m not alone. Many others are unhappy as well. For instance, Miss Muffet has been harassed non-stop for her problems with arachnophobia. People do simply cruel things, such as throw fake spiders at her. These types of annoyances must be stopped. I’m writing to you because I felt you’d be the appropriate person to turn to for a resolution for issues like these. To start, I’d like to file a complaint against Mother Goose, on behalf of myself and anyone else that she’s written about that’s been negatively affected by her rhymes. Also, I believe that since the public has already read her writings, Drury Lane, and perhaps other streets surrounding it, should become a gated community, considering she’s written about others living in this area. This would stop random people from coming into the neighborhood without first checking in at the entrance of the gate. I realize that this will take certain funds and authorizations, but just the start of the process would put many others like me at ease. My fellow neighbors and I have already started a petition for it and would like to see the plan put into action. We understand that this could not all happen over-night, but it’s worth the wait to see our community change for the better. Thank you for your time. Regards,

The Muffin Man The Muffin Man

Baker, Oxford Sweet Shop