1

Bullying in the 21st Century

January 13, 2015 Presented by: Mara Madrigal-Weiss, MA, M.Ed San Diego County Office of Education

A  student  is  being  bullied  when  he  or  she  is  repeatedly  exposed  to  intentional  negative  actions  over-­‐time,  on  the  part  of  one  or  more  students.  

BULLYING

THREE FACTORS:

¡ Repeated over time

¡ Intentional harm-doing

¡ Occurs in a relationship in which there is an imbalance of power

¡ Hitting, kicking, shoving, spitting…

¡ Taunting, teasing, racial slurs, verbal harassment

¡ Threatening, obscene gestures

DIRECT BULLYING

¡ Getting another person to bully someone for you ¡ Spreading rumors ¡ Deliberately excluding someone from a group or

activity ¡ Cyber-bullying

INDIRECT BULLYING

5

Rough Housing Real Fighting Bullying

Usually friends; often repeated (same players)

Usually not friends; typically not repeated

Typically not friends; generally repeated

Balance of power Power relatively equal Unequal power

No intent to harm Intentional harm doing Intentional harm doing

Affect is friendly; positive, mutual

Affect negative; aggressive, tense, hostile affect

Affect negative; aggressive & differs for victim and aggressor

6 © The Olweus Bullying Prevention Group, 2004

¡ The relationship between the youth ¡ Expressions, body language and atmosphere ¡ The incidents-are they repeated or likely to be

repeated ¡ The different types of power imbalances:

§ Physical § Social (popularity) § Demographics-belonging to dominate groups, social

economic status § Abilities and or Skills- academic, language, athletic

CONSIDER:

7

“Willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones, and other

electronic devices.” Basically, we are referring to incidents where adolescents use technology, usually computers or cell phones, to harass, threaten, humiliate, or otherwise hassle their peers. (Hinduja and Patchin)

CYBER-BULLYING IS:

8

CYBER-BULLYING

9

10

CYBER-BULLYING VENUES

¡ www.xanga.com ¡ www.livejournal.com ¡ www.friendster.com ¡ www.facebook.com ¡ www.youtube.com ¡ www.bloglines.com ¡ www.blogger.com ¡ www.blackplanet.com ¡ www.bebo.com

¡ www.Anonymizer.com ¡ www.MsReality.com Phone Apps: ¡ Snapchat ¡ Instagram ¡ Twitter ¡ Kik Messenger ¡ Keek ¡ YikYak

¡ ANONYMITY-electronic aggressors can remain anonymous

¡ DISINHIBITION-one is free from restraints on behavior –there is no interaction nor face to face feedback

¡ LACK OF SUPERVISION-no one present to intervene

¡ VIRAL NATURE-damage is done with greater speed and to larger audiences

¡ LIMITLESS VICTIMIZATION-the damage is ever present and on-going

TRADITIONAL BULLYING –VS- CYBERBULLYING

11

POSSIBLE SIGNS YOUR CHILD IS BEING BULLIED

¡ Abrupt lack of interest in school

¡ Changes route to school

¡ Suffers drop in grades

¡ Withdraws from family/activities

¡ Hungry after school

¡ Taking money

¡ Rushes to the bathroom after school

¡ Is sad, sullen or scared

¡ Stops talking about school

¡ Complains of sickness

EFFECTS OF BEING BULLIED

¡ Lower self-esteem ¡ Depression & anxiety ¡ Poor academic success ¡ Illness ¡ Absenteeism ¡ Thoughts of suicide

WHAT CAN PARENTS OF TARGETED CHILDREN DO?

¡ Help your child develop talents and positive attributes

¡ Encourage your child to make contact with a variety of student(s) in their classes

¡ Facilitate practice in service to others, stress management, coping strategies, writing about negative events

¡ Contact the school- Ask for support-Safety plan

POSSIBLE SIGNS YOUR CHILD IS DOING THE BULLYING

¡ Likes to dominate and use others

¡ Hurts others, shows a lack of empathy

¡ View weaker siblings or peers as prey-show little compassion

¡ Can easily talk there way out of “trouble”

¡ Gets money, toys, games without being able to explain the source

¡ Does not like to accept responsibility

¡ Quick tempers

¡ Lack of foresight

EFFECTS ON THE AGGRESSORS

¡ If a child is identified as an aggressor by age 8 they are three times more likely to be convicted of a crime by age 30

¡ Aggressors are less likely to finish college or experience a positive work history

Are more likely to be involved in future intimate partner violence, child and elder abuse.

Children Who Bully

WHAT CAN PARENTS OF CHILDREN WHO BULLY DO?

¡ Communicate and enforce family rules

¡ Spend more time with the child-Partner with other positive adults

¡ Monitor the child’s activities

¡ Practice self regulation techniques

¡ Work with school staff

¡ Seek professional assistance, if necessary

Use small and escalating teaching consequences to deter peer mistreatment

and pair these consequences with supportive reflective interventions to help mistreating youth gain insight about their behaviors and create new, more positive

behaviors

RECOGNIZE THE TEACHABLE MOMENTS

19

A CHILD MAY BE A TARGET OF CYBER-BULLYING IF HE OR SHE…

¡ Unexpectedly stops using the computer

¡ Appears nervous or jumpy when an IM or email appears

¡ Appears uneasy about going to school or outside in general

¡ Appears to be angry, depressed, or frustrated after using the computer

¡ Avoids discussions about what they are doing on the computer

¡ Becomes abnormally withdrawn from usual friends and family members Hinduja & Patchin, 2006

¡ Block messages from unknown people

¡ Don’t respond to the aggressor

¡ Keep a log/journal of attacks

¡ Talk to an adult they trust

IF YOUR CHILD IS BEING CYBERBULLIED, LET THEM KNOW TO :

¡ Spending a lot of time on the computer

¡ Closes window when an adult enters the room

¡ Is secretive about internet activity

¡ Gets usually upset if he or she cannot use the computer

¡ Avoids discussions about what they are doing on the computer

¡ Is using multiple online accounts, or an account that’s not their own

A CHILD MAY BE CYBER-BULLYING OTHERS IF HE OR SHE…

Hinduja & Patchin, 2006

“Youth who engage in online aggressive behavior by making rude or nasty comments or frequently embarrassing others are more than twice as likely to report online interpersonal victimization”

WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT THE AGGRESSORS:

24

Communicate directly to the youth:

¡ We know you have been involved in bullying/cyber bullying

¡ This is serious behavior ¡ We will not tolerate this behavior ¡ Advise them that their activities will be

closely monitored ¡ Help them reflect on the behavior/

consequences

WHAT CAN PARENTS OF AN AGGRESSOR DO?

PARENTS ROLE IN PREVENTION

26

DISCUSS FAMILY RULES ¡ What is acceptable

behavior? Discuss hitting, shoving, spreading rumors, teasing.

¡ What is violence? What are our family rules about violence?

¡ What is our family rule about reporting harmful acts?

1-Am I being kind and showing respect for others and myself?

2-How would I feel if someone did the same thing to me or to my best friend?

3-What would my parents/guardians think? 4-Is this action in violation with any agreements,

rules or laws? 5-Would it be ok if I did this in the real world? 6-How would I feel if everyone could see me?

Cyberbullying and Cyberthreats- Nancy E. Willard 28

DISCUSS APPROPRIATE ON-LINE BEHAVIOR

WORKING WITH YOUR CHILD’S SCHOOL

SUPPORT YOUR SCHOOL ¡ Get involved

¡ Talk to your school administrator and staff

¡ Support school administrators in holding meetings with parents

¡ Ask about current rules or prevention strategies being used

¡ Reinforce those rules at home with your children

¡ Get informed

¡ Support implementation of Best Practices and Positive School Climate actions…

1.  Focus on the social environment of the school 2.  Survey and access the students 3.  Form a school based group to move the efforts

forward 4.  Train staff and parents - Illicit support 5.  Develop clear rules & policies 6.  Spend class time addressing the issue 7.  Encourage students to support and report 8.  Use students as experts 9.  Relationships, relationships, relationships

BEST PRACTICE ACTIONS

¡ Norms, values, expectations making students and adults socially, emotionally, intellectually and physically safe

¡ All school community members are engaged and respected

¡ Students, families and educators work together to achieve shared school vision

¡ Educators module and nurture an attitude emphasizing the benefits of and satisfaction from learning

¡ Each person contributes to school operations and the care of the physical environment

¡ Visitors to the school feel welcomed

SUPPORT THE SCHOOLS EFFORTS IN BUILDING POSITIVE SCHOOL CLIMATES

32

SUPPORT YOUR SCHOOL IN TEACHING:

¡ Cyber citizenship ¡ Cyber bullying & harassment ¡ Cyber-safety ¡ Cyber-security ¡ Cyber-literacy

¡  Listened to me ¡  Gave me hopeful and supportive advice/suggestions ¡  Checked in with me afterwards to see if the issue stopped ¡  Kept up increased adult supervision for some period of time

¡  EACH OF THESE ACTIONS RESULTED IN STUDENTS FEELING SAFER, AND MORE TRUSTING TOWARDS ADULTS

Youth, Voice Project Davis/Nixon 2014

ADULT ACTIONS BOTH AT HOME AND AT SCHOOL MAKE THINGS BETTER

34

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON BULLYING/CYBERBULLYING:

Websites:

¡ www.Stopbullying.gov ¡ www.Bullying.org ¡ www.CyberBullying.us ¡ www.StopCyberBullying.org ¡ www.NoBully.com ¡ www.GetNetWise.org ¡ www.WiredSafety.org ¡ www.commonsensemedia.org

Focusing on the Social

Climate at home and at school respectfully and

genuinely - To do this we

MUST work TOGETHER

The Key to Prevention is…