Building TrustBuilding Trust

Sue BohlinSue BohlinSuebohlin.comSuebohlin.com

Be Be TTransparentransparent

Be Be RResponsiveesponsive

UUse Caringse Caring

Be Be SSincere incere

Be Be TTrustworthyrustworthy

What is Trust?What is Trust?

• My faith in your ability or word in some specific area

• Trust includes the degree to which I believe you will look out for my best interests in a specific area.

• Trust suggests that you care about my welfare and success in helping me achieve my goals.

Principles about TrustPrinciples about Trust

Trust is never given to another person globally and unconditionally. It always has to do with a specific area of

expertise or action. Trust involves both ability and word.

You are capable in a particular area and true to your word.

Principles about TrustPrinciples about Trust

Trust comes in different degrees or levels. Though trust can be one-sided, it is best

when it is mutual. Trust can be built. Trust can grow or erode between people. Lost trust can be recovered and

rehabilitated.

Be Be TTransparentransparent

1. Be easily readable

2. Be open

3. Be vulnerable

1. Be easily readable Your outsides match your insides Others can discern your emotional state

Be Be TTransparentransparent

2. Be strategically open Your honest response to what others want or ask for What you need from others to make the task or

project successful Your strengths and weaknesses in your ability to

help others

Openness begets openness

Openness precedes trust

Be Be TTransparentransparent

3. Be vulnerable Take a one-down position Request, don’t demand The opposite of using power to get your

way or manage others Power begets resistance; vulnerability

begets willingness

Be Be RResponsiveesponsive

Responsiveness: giving and receiving feedback

spontaneously consciously with care

Welcome and respect honest feedback from others

Offer the same to others

Be Be RResponsiveesponsive

Historically in the workplace, feedback = the expectation of criticism, evaluation, judgment, and punishment

More healthy theory: the purpose of feedback is to help build a trusting relationship in working toward a shared goal

Be Be RResponsiveesponsive

Giving feedback: My willingness and ability to respond to what you have said or done in a specific area, expressing thoughts and feelings that I personally own.

Feedback formula: “My reaction to X is Y.” X = what you have said or done in a specific area Y = my thoughts and feelings about it

My responses are about your behavior, not aimed at you

Be Be RResponsiveesponsive A Plan for Giving Feedback

1. Knock on the door. 2. Describe the specific action, event or behavior at issue.3. Spell out its impact on you.4. Specify the likely positive and negative consequences and make a request.5. Get a firm agreement. 6. Share appreciation.

Receive feedback graciously and non-defensively.

UUse Caringse Caring

Essential leadership qualities: competent, confident and caring.

Caring about people and our relationships with them communicates that they are important.

No matter what negative criticisms or strong emotion you bring to me, I will deal with it in a way that respects and protects you and our relationship.

UUse Caringse Caring

When do people feel cared for? 5 unspoken requests:

Hear and understand me. Even if you disagree, please don’t make me

wrong. Acknowledge the greatness within me. Remember to look for my good intentions. Tell me the truth with compassion.

Be Be SSincereincere

Acting without deceit or pretense. Being genuine and straightforward in relationships. Matching your actions with your words.

Congruence: your thoughts and feelings match your words and actions.

Building trust requires that you be sincere and congruent consistently so others can trust your word.

Be Be SSincereincere

Congruence is a character issue, not a technique to be taught.

Bad habits and character flaws to address: Gossiping Lying/fibbing/misleading Hiding our strong feelings

Be Be TTrustworthyrustworthy

Your word can be trusted. Giving your word in an agreement and

being willing to accept the consequences of that agreement.

Be Be TTrustworthyrustworthy

You become loose with your word by making:

Agreements out of politeness Vague and ambiguous agreements Agreements you enter into with enthusiasm, forget

and never bring up again Agreements you don’t intend to keep and hope the

other person will forget

Be Be TTrustworthyrustworthy

Honoring your word: “Working by Agreement” 1. Make only those agreements you intend to

keep. 2. Avoid making or accepting “fuzzy”

agreements. 3. Give earliest notice when agreements must be

broken. 4. Clean up broken agreements.