When any relationship ends, it can be one of the most painful things we experience in life; its heartbreak.Ultimately, there is no definitive end to a relationship; the form simply shifts into something new.The real courage is to let go and allow the highest expression to happen.The real courage is to love so fully that, if a relationship ends, we have no regrets.The real courage is our willingness to let go of what we currently have, so we can create something new.Change is a part of life.Nothing lasts forever; even the best things will one day come to an end. As we accept this, we can focus on fully experiencing and appreciating each relationship whilst it is in our life.Just because the form of ourrelationship needs to change, doesnt mean the love needs to go away.We attract into our lives who we are, and those we attract are manifestations of our state of consciousness at that particular time; we are mirrors.As we grow and our consciousness expands, those in our life must either grow with us, or the nature of our relationship inevitably shifts.We often think that if a relationship ends, the love needs to end, too.When, in fact, staying in a relationship that no longer feels right ends love.To honor our authentic hearts, truth is the most loving thing we can do. In doing, this, we honor those around us. We need to dare ourselves to find the most authentic form of relating which serves ourselves and the other person to love more fully.So rather than holding onto the way a relationship used to be, feel what is most true now and what it seeks to be today.To stay in a relationship that is not truly fulfilling in the present is to be in a dead relationship. The relationship is a museum rather than a living inspiration.Try asking yourself this,If I met this person today, would I be in a relationship with them today?Be honest.When we first meet someone, whether a romantic relationship, friend or business partner, we gravitate to each other because we are avibrational match.As we grow, so long as we both keep growing in the same direction at a similar pace, we can keep evolving our relationship.But if we do not, there might come a point where we no longer are a fit. We evolve and grow in different directions, and pressure is placed on the relationship.Remember, if a relationship ends or changes form, it isnt necessarily a bad thing. The relationship just may no longer be a vibrational match.If you are feeling a current relationship is not working, ask yourself:1) Does this relationship inspire me to be more of who I authentically am?2) Do we inspire each other to grow, expand and evolve as souls?3) What is the lesson that this person/relationship was brought into my life to teach me.When we let go of the old relationships, we create the space for the new ones to show up.Trust that following your heart and truth will lead you to exactly where you are meant to be for your highest good and all concerned.Trust that the universe is abundant and will bring aboutyour highest good.Trust that the love, which is available, is infinite.All forms changeonly love is real.You are love.Love now.Likeelephant Spiritualityon Facebook.Assistant Ed: Paula CarrasquilloTop of FormDaily Wake-Up Call NewsletterGet elephant's Daily Wake Up Call: a gap for inspiration & meaning in the inbox of your mind Bottom of FormIncorrect source, offensive, or found a typo? Email us (please put title in subject bar of email so we'll be able to fix).Or do youwant to writefor Elephant?{Waylon H. Lewis C Enterprises 2014: Use Rights in perpetuity. Ownership remains with author.}http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/07/breaking-away-from-heartbreak-kute-blackson/

Lessons learned from a painful goodbyehttp://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/04/lessons-learned-from-a-painful-goodbye/After 15 years, I closed the door on a relationship.Well, more like left it cracked open just a little, just enough so that if he came back, it wouldnt take much to push it open and walk right through. After a lot of hard work and self-reflection, the door is now firmly shut.The reactions I received from friends and family were mixed. Some were happy for me, proud of me for finding the strength to close that chapter in my life. Some were puzzledhow could I just cut someone off after all that time? Walk away from someone Id known for 15 years? Didnt I want to have some sort of friendship? The answer is no. Removing myself from that situation allowed me to see the possibility of a happier existence.At the time, I could not believe it was truly over.I mourned for the home that would not be built, the family that would not exist, for the life I thought I would live. It was a like a death.I experienced such grief, it was scary.Having such a long relationship with someone is bound to have an impact on your life. The familiarity becomes a comfort. The patterns of behavior accepted. There were good times as well as bad, but it came to a point where the bad just happened too often.It was so easy to overlook the bad.The situation was not ideal for either of us. We were unhappy. It should have ended many years earlier but we held on too long. I suppose we both felt that was the only choice we had. Until the day he met someone new. I was blind-sided by this revelation.And then they were married. Just like that. Obviously, I had no choice but tolet go and accept the end; to pick up the pieces and shape a new life for myself. But what was that life going to look like?I felt like a teenager. I had spent all of my young adult life with one person and it felt odd to have all of this independence. I had to figure out who I was without this other person. I had to find my own identity.I spent a lot of time alone.I went on adventures I probably would not have gone on had I still been in that relationship. I found my voice. I came out of my shell, unconcerned with whether or not someone would disapprove of my choices. My life was no longer tied to someone else. The possibilities were endless. The future was wide open.And it felt so liberating.A friend mentioned to me that she finally saw who I was once I got out of that relationship for good. She felt that there was some part of me that was being held back. That was such a wake-up call for me. I realized that for most of those years, I was afraid to be me. Instead, I was always worried about making someone angry by speaking up for myself so rather than deal with that, I did things to appease them. I was not comfortable in my own skin. I decided to never again let myself be stifled by someone elses insecurities and fears.Several months ago, he showed up.His marriage had failed. He tried to push that door open (and still tries from time to time). But it wont budge. I refuse to re-visit it. There is no anger (despite everyones nudging to embrace the anger, I just didnt want it), only sadness for an impulsive choice that in the end, affected the lives of three people and changed the direction my life was headed.Recently, his now ex-wife (aka the other woman) emerged to offer an apology. I have never met her. Never heard her voice or seen her in the flesh. It was a totally unexpected apology. My reaction was one of curiosity. I had so many questions. What did she want after all this time? Was she looking for closure as well? Why cant I get away from this for good?I struggled with whether or not to open that Pandoras Box.I was afraid that if I allowed even one part of that back in, that Id be right back where I started. Concerned that there may be things I didnt really want or need to know, I decided not to respond to her. It seems rude to ignore an apology but by responding to it, what would that ultimately accomplish for me? That life seemed like such a long time ago. The thought of going back to that life fills me with a sense of dread.I dont know why the past keeps coming back when I left it behind.Maybe its a reminder that I still have work to do. Perhaps while I am ready to welcome someone new in my life, the ghosts keep appearing as warning not to settle; to be courageous enough to admit when something is not right for me. Or maybe there is no reason.All I know is that I must keep moving forward.Its been three years since we parted ways.Im so much happier.Happy with the choices I made. Happy with who I am. Happy with where Im headed. I am still re-discovering who I am.I now have boundaries.I know what I want and what I dont want. I will no longer allow someone to cut me down with their words. I will not tolerate destructive behavior. I will not hide my true feelings to avoid conflict. I will show up as my authentic self.I am grateful that I walked away from something that in the end was slowly killing my spirit. These are the lessons that have prepared me for the day I meet the one.I have come a long way and although there is still some work to do, I know that eventually I will find my bliss. A happier home will be built, a closer family will exist. A more fulfilling life awaits.

To my exhttp://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/10/to-my-ex/To my ex,Its so odd to think that one day you knew me inside and out. And I, you.Once, we yearned to be so close together, we attached. I felt your warm breath on my neck, your hands on my skin, inside, outside.Today, you are just another person in the supermarket, shopping for contents to a life that I dont have any knowledge or part of. If I touched you now, you would recoil, youd ask what I was doing, youd look at me like a stranger who carelessly bumped into you.Then, I could ask you and tell you things without words. We had our own language. A language that existed in a finite stitch of time and in the next stitch it was gone.Now, you seem like someone else, someone new, different, not theother halfof us. The only other person who knew that language was real, not just something I imagined.The way you look at me, I know you see someone new, too. But we are wrong. We are still us, just new versions. We are adapting and reacting and changing over and over every moment. There is a new version of me and one of you in each second that we breathe.You are forever a part of this version of me that always cooks an egg on a high flame, who tells their partner exactly what they want even when its scary, because I know that its so worth it. Because of you there was once a yellow light that is now red, and a welcomed surprise that is now a necessity.You are the yes, in Yes, Ive been there. Yes, Ive heard that. Yes, I know how strong I am. Yes, Ill be okay. Yes, I know that I fart in my sleep (why do people keep insisting on telling me this?).I watch you leave, on your way to your life, knowing that we will always be more and less than strangers.We are forever connected and disconnected.We have learned whatever it is we needed to teach each other. Our time was necessary and it is over.I am grateful to you as I am grateful for scars. They are a part of me and they are my compass. Without them I would not know which direction to go. Id be lost. You are part of my past and my present and my future. You are part of my limbs, moving forward, walking away.~ Your limbs, walking away