BOYS AND THE MEDIAKris Van Gieson and Thomas Weber

Hyla Middle School

Sponsored by the Bainbridge Island Just Know Coalition

February 28, 2012

INTRODUCTIONS AND WHY WE’RE HERE

Thomas Weber and Kris Van Gieson are educators at Hyla Middle School.Hyla believes that nurturing the healthy social and emotional development of middle school children must go hand in hand with their academic learning. Visit www.hylamiddleschool.org.

Mapping the Territory

Social MediaSocial Media GamingGaming

Media ConsumptionMedia Consumption

Media CreationMedia

Creation

Tech Skills

Tech Skills

Facebook, Chat, Skype, etc.Wide range of games available

Websites, TV, Movies, Radio, Magazines, Online Video, Music

Making art, movies, music, websites, and games

Media consumption has a big influence on the other spheres. Privacy and easy access to pornography are particular concerns. There is more power to create and consume independent media and more variety in media.

Mapping the Territory: the Past

Social MediaSocial Media GamingGaming

Media ConsumptionMedia Consumption

Media CreationMedia

Creation

Tech Skills

Tech Skills

Telephone, Lettters Board games, neighborhood games,

TV, Movies, Radio, Magazines

Very limited and expensive tools

A safer and simpler landscape. Less variety and less opportunity to create and share media.

Mapping the Territory

Social MediaSocial Media GamingGaming

Media ConsumptionMedia Consumption

Media CreationMedia

Creation

Tech Skills

Tech Skills

Cultural ShiftsG

uid

ing Prin

ciples

Parents’ In

fluen

ce

You can’t control cultural change, but you can use your values and your parenting.

Characteristics of Boys

Attracted to kinetic/physical world and associated use of strategic and tactical thinking

Communication more direct, less verbal, more physical

Emotions are sublimated Parallel and competitive play over

collaborative playUnderstanding general characteristics of boys helps to explain their attraction to video games

Act Like a Man Box

MachoCrassStrong

PhysicalBrave/Unemotional

Problem-SolverLeaderAthletic

MachoCrassStrong

PhysicalBrave/Unemotional

Problem-SolverLeaderAthletic

PassiveCooperativ

eEmotional

Artistic

PassiveCooperativ

eEmotional

Artistic

Peace-loving

SensitiveFollower

Intellectual

Peace-loving

SensitiveFollower

Intellectual

Social pressures influence boys to conform to social stereotypes.

Fears about Boys’ Use of Media Social Media: bullying, privacy Gaming: exposure to violence, addictive Pornography: distorts views of sex,

gender, and relationships Other Media Consumption: superficial,

time away from more balanced lifestyle Media Creation: time intensive, can

mimic hurtful media Tech Skills: rule-breaking, vandalism

Positive Outcomes of Boys’ Use

Be a friend Communicate Share unseen

talents Overcome

shyness Social Skills

Kinesthetic Strategic/Tactical Trial and error Mastery Share interests give-and-take

Social Nurturing Gaming

Positive Outcomes of Boys’ Use

less driven by corporate media

Enjoy great variety

Make music, movies, websites

Design games/ worlds within games

Tech skills Write Express yourself

Media Consumption Creative Process

Your Guiding Principles

About healthy play? About relationships? About use of time? About good parenting?

Articulate these to yourself (and your spouse) before you engage in conversations with your son.

Parenting Styles

Permissive/NeglectfulPermissive/Neglectful

Authoritarian/

Controlling

Authoritarian/

Controlling

Broad range of acceptable styles

•Avoid the extremes or swinging from one end to the other.•Know that you may need to adapt styles to different personalities and different ages•Use guiding principles

GuidingGuiding Authoritative

Authoritative

Personality Styles

Extrovert/Introvert?Internally or externally motivated?Naturally cautious or risk-taking?

Outside or inside?Athletic or Non-athletic?Books or Video Games?

Look at yourself , your son, and others. Talking about personalities helps to understand and affect which parenting strategies will be most effective.

Solve it Together: Parent-Child Conversations

Think ahead to possible scenarios. what would you do and say and how does that

convey your values?

You feel your son is wasting time on trivial computer activities.

You find your son looking at pornography. You feel your son is addicted to gaming.

Some Recommendations

Know what’s on the computer on a regular basis Include time to investigate privacy controls

Regular conversations—limits and consequences aren’t as important as the conversations you have with them. Be wary of shutting down conversations with how you impose limits and consequences

5:1 rule: listen to 5 minutes of your kid talking for every minute you talk.

Negotiate boundaries with your principles in mind Notice how your own behavior is a model

Resources

Teachers, Counselors, Bainbridge Youth Services, Church Youth Groups, Just Know Coalition….

More about boys: two books Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Lives of Boys The Minds of Boys: Saving our Sons from Falling Behind in School and Life

More about gaming Visit the websites for each of the games. http://kiwicommons.com/index.php?p=10964&tag=how-to-recognize-online-

gaming-addictio More about social media

Works both ways--cruelty and self-esteem abound Social media: the playground/neighborhood in the best sense of the term http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/01/25/does-technology-affect-happiness/

A good general consumer guide for parents http://www.commonsensemedia.org/about-us/our-mission