Bobbe Sommer Ph.D.

FABB POSITIVE CONFLICT

RESOLUTION

2

Aware of one’s own existence, sensations, and thoughts and of one’s environment

Capable of thought, will, or perception Subjectively known or felt Deliberately conceived or done Having or showing self-consciousness

Let’s Get Conscious!

Conscious -

3

Key People Skills

Conflict Management

The Reptilian Brain is Always on the Prowl!

Defense!Defense!!

Defense!!!

4

Personality StylesEmotional Intelligence (E.Q.)

List your top 3 strengths that cause people to want to work with you:

How did you acquire these attributes?

5

Key People Skills

Conflict Management

Conflict is inevitable.

Whenever 2 people come together, the seeds of conflict have been sown.

Conflict can occur when people don’t even know each other.

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Key People Skills

Conflict Management

Confront = Face-to-Face

Combat = With Arms

Confrontation is a Goooooood Thing!

Combativeness is a Baaaaaad Thing!

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4 Guidelines for Positive Confrontation:

Key People Skills

Conflict Management

1) Acknowledge, don’t argue

2) Ask clarifying questions

3) Restate what you think you heard

4) Deflect the Red Herring by using a

Show Stopper response…

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What is a Red Herring?

Statement designed to intentionally throw you off the track AND simultaneously infer that YOU probably have the problem after all!

I was only kidding!

Grrr...

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Show Stopper Verbal Responses to Deflect the Red Herring

Excuse me?Where do we differ?That very well may be.Perhaps.That’s unfortunate.Great! Then I’ll count on you for that!Would 3 o’clock or 4:30 be a better time for

us to discuss this?

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Show Stopper Action Responses to Deflect the Red Herring

Drop The Rope!

Let Your Ear Hear Your Mouth Self Correct!

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Eight Steps Eight Steps

for for

Positive Positive Confrontation:Confrontation:

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Step OneStep One

Is confrontation your Is confrontation your

BESTBEST option? option?

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Step TwoStep Two

If so, where? If so, where? Choose an Choose an appropriate appropriate

location.location.

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AlwaysAlways open with open with an “I” ownership an “I” ownership

statement.statement.

Step ThreeStep Three

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State specific observed State specific observed behavior followed with behavior followed with supposition “…which supposition “…which leads me to believe…”leads me to believe…”

Step FourStep Four

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Request specific Request specific behavior changes.behavior changes.

Step FiveStep Five

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AlwaysAlways deflect, deflect, nevernever argue with argue with the the Red HerringRed Herring..

Step SixStep Six

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Repeat step 5.Repeat step 5.

Step SevenStep Seven

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Use the bridge Use the bridge builder term “…builder term “…

ANDAND, ….”, ….”

Step EightStep Eight