birth fathers of children adopted after care proceedings project a small qualitative pilot study by...

Birth fathers of children adopted after care proceedings project

A small qualitative pilot study by John Clifton

Why this project? [1]

Most children now adopted after court proceedings

Social workers have difficulty engaging parents especially fathers

Some evidence fathers feel their perspectives are not heard


Best practice to enhance child’s identity is usually to work with fathers

Adoption agencies have duty to support for birth relatives

Local authorities now have a “gender equality duty” to consider the “equal but different” needs of men and women


Children’s services typically centred on the needs of women and children

Deficit thinking common regarding fathers [O’Brien 2004] references

What clues do we have about birth father perspectives?

Aim: benefiting their children

Origins of the project

Portfolio for MA Essay for International

Perspectives unit compared UK and South African men

Reflection on previous practice Parents attending panels Own experience as a father

The literature [1]

Comparatively few studies of birth fathers of adopted children

Main UK studies [Clapton 2003; Witney 2005] research fathers of children relinquished in past decades

Previous adoption paradigm References

The literature [2]

Samples through adoption support voluntaries and Adoption Contact Register

Show fathers’ ongoing distress and concern for their children similar to birth mothers’

Literature review

Assumptions about research and practice [1]

Men [even perpetrators of harm to children] can be engaged with purposefully

Central focus must be child’s best interests

Safety of women partners and workers important [Daniel and Taylor 2001 p9]

References

Assumptions about research and practice [2]

Fathers matter to children in various ways: e.g. carers, providers, sources of identity

In adoption, identity often a central issue for adopted people

Information about birth fathers often missing

Records often do not contain birth father’s part of adoption narrative literature review

The research question

What perspectives do birth fathers of children adopted from care have in relation to their child’s adoption?

Definitions

Why qualitative approach taken [1]

Comparative paucity of information

Unable to confidently predict their key issues

Need to build rapport and trust Approach needs to maximise

chances that they will consent

Why qualitative approach taken [2]

Openness to hearing their perspectives

Quantitative approach inappropriate:

Obtaining a large sample impractical and..

Clear variables for hypothesis construction cannot be identified

Project design “Grounded theory” [Strauss &

Corbin 1998] reference Sample size of 3-5 subjects Conduct in depth interviews with

mostly open questions flowing from research question

Analyse by successive codings to derive “middle range” explanatory theory about subject’s perspectives

Sample – child cohort [1] Fathers recruited from Suffolk

children looked after placed for adoption or adopted between 1 April 2005 & 27 February 2007

n=162 children of which- 156 [96%] subject to care order/

freeing/ or placement order 6 [4%] relinquished for adoption

following accommodation

Sample – child cohort [2]

Of the 156 children adopted or placed after a court order

99 [63%] were adopted 57 [37%] were placed for

adoption Identity of children and social

workers obtained from adoption agency CHARMS database

Sample – father’s referral process [1]

Social workers asked to consider all fathers on the list

Social worker/ manager must agree approach to potential subject

Initial approach by social worker, manager or researcher

Then by researcher phone call & letter


Subjects ruled out where there was risk of violence or disruption of child’s placement

Agreed subjects ruled out where family in subsequent care proceedings or in crisis

Pros and cons of relying on “insider” access and making contact through social workers

Sample - reasons for exclusionn

Father identity unknown 12

Father cannot be traced 12

Father deceased 4

Father imprisoned 5

Risk of violence or tracing 4

Father refused 2

No social worker 7

Current crisis/care proceedings 6

Other 3


Social workers mostly very helpful and interested but some too busy

Where high staff turnover parents out of touch [especially fathers] within 1-2 years

A few comments suggesting negative stereotyping of fathers or “gender blindness” [Daniel & Taylor 2001 p 220] reference

Sample – Staff comments

Social work manager: I don’t agree with the basic

premise of your research…fathers get exactly the same treatment as everyone else.

Social worker: I don’t know why you want to

talk to him - he’s a confirmed drug addict.

Sample – obtaining subjects Great persistence and flexibility

needed to locate subjects and encourage them to participate

Several “no shows” for agreed interviews at social services offices

Therefore, all but one subjects interviewed in their own homes

Sample – profiles of subjects [1]

Late 20’s. White British. Living with partner [mother of child adopted] at parents’ home. Employment scheme. No further children

Early 30’s. Mixed heritage. Living in temporary accommodation. Separated from child’s mother. Not working. No other children. Problematic history of adoption.


Mid 30’s. White British. Living with new partner and her children and their child. Full time work.

Late 40’s. White British. Living with wife [mother of children adopted]. Full time work. All their children either adopted or permanently fostered.


Early 60’s. White British. Living with wife [mother of children adopted]. Disabled by serious stroke. All their children either adopted or permanently fostered.

Data collection [1]

In depth interviews of about 1 hour

Opening question: When you look back now about

your child’s adoption what things come to mind?

Informant encouraged to develop and expand answers & open new areas

Data collection [2]

Subsidiary questions as prompts Topics: Involvement in decision

making Fairness issues Effects on father of child’s

adoption Possibility of future contact Adoption support Questions

Data collection [3]

Interviews audiotaped Transcribed verbatim Imported into qualitative

research programme Nvivo for analysis

Data analysis

Each script “open coded” Open codes defined Possible categories identified

through “axial coding” Develop key categories from

which theory may be developed

Interim results [1] All data [5 scripts] open coded

using Nvivo example 302 open codes identified list Codes organised in trees for

ease of access Selected open codes defined

example Memos and diagrams to

develop categories memo

Interim results [2]

Insufficient time to complete formal category development

Interim findings based upon: Some category development Summarising and selecting

themes frequently mentioned or given emphasis by subjects &..

informed by research question

Interim results [3]

Perspectives related to father attributes

Fathers in family during care proceedings [3]

Father in forced accommodation case [1]

Father out of family during care proceedings [1]

Interim findings on fathers’ perspectives

Feelings of loss Experience of exclusion Focus on possible future

meeting Rationalisations Coping strategies Is support acceptable? The delight and pain of letterbox

contact

Feelings of loss [1]

Acute sense of loss anger and distress

Two considered suicide Double loss of child and partner Ongoing yearning for the child Comparisons with bereavement


Acute distress, anger and sadness Yes, it's all sort of come at... collapsed

together. It's like a balloon. You can't -- if you pop a balloon, it all pops and goes down, not just half of it. The lot goes down together -- collapsed together. When I eventually realised that I haven't got my children to m -- me my life was just finished....

more


Two considered suicide I really felt like killing myself to be

honest with you. And I never would, but that’s how I felt.

more


The possible “double whammy” of losing partner and child ...I was so distraught when I lost

the both of them.


Continual yearning and concern for adopted child I think about him every day. …I've got a son out there

somewhere. That’s all I know. I've got one out there somewhere. He could be…three streets away; he could be miles away. I just don’t know where he is.


Compared to bereavement Worse for some…

To--- to realise that you've lost a part of your life. Your children are parts of your life. By taking a child they gently they've.. well...em... what do you call it, tightening the n- round your throat...

…the way I was thinking about it since my dad died: that was painful, but losing my son was even worse.


…than for others: It’s not as extreme as if you lose

someone through death. But then, in a way, if you think of it along them terms, it’s a fact. I wouldn’t say it’s a bereavement but it’s a bereavement of a s-sort.


Feelings may change over time That’s like when my dad died, I

talk about how I felt then; how I feel now about it. Same as S: how I felt then; how I feel now; how I might feel in the future.


For some, pain diminishes: Most of the pain has gone and

that but I'll still-I'll always have a bit there


Strongest sense of loss & guilt for father out of family I blame myself every day [unclear].

That-that-that is my fault. He's not here. I could’ve-I could’ve made the decision for him to stay here. But would he have been happy? I know he's happy where he is. That’s not very sort of-that’s not very good for me …but…I'm happy-deep down I'm happy because… he's happy…

Experience of exclusion [1]

Deficit thinking Assessment a closed process Being subordinated Disadvantaged in meetings Fathers unequal to mothers Odds against in care

proceedings Exception: out of family father


Deficit thinking …all they did really was ignore

most of the good and take the bad which – that's not the way to do it. We barely did a bad thing wrong but they accused us that we did.


Assessment a closed process I wanted to see him as much as I

could 'cos basically we knew the circumstances and what was going to happen.


Being subordinated to social services And each parent has their own

way of bring up a kid but-we had to do it their way, which, anyone knows that's not going to work. You have your own techniques but nah! You had to use their rules. We couldn't. Basically, it was their rules or fail straight away.


Disadvantaged in meetings Then, they go round, say things and

that like: what could be done and that and how you felt and the-they asked me and that-pfff!-that 's when I kicked off 'cos… that's the only time they really wanted me to talk…is when they ask my point of it. And it's like, well…I'm blatantly-I'm the kid's dad, yeah. I'm involved in this kind of stuff. But they made me not… involved with it. More


The odds stacked against the birth father in care proceedings When they-not in these words-but

they basically said "go to court, fight a losing battle or sign the papers". Not them sort of words and that but that was the worst moment that... signing the papers for adoption and that. I cried all day believe it or not. more

Focus on possible future meeting [1]

A longed-for future event Preparing for it Wanting to set the record

straight Worry about how the meeting

will go Will child reject father? Hedging bets


A longed-for future event I'm wishing my life away to the

day he comes…and he knocks at the door…… all I'm hoping for is…the day he knocks on the door. That’s all I'm aiming for in life.

More


Preparing for it But I've just got to work through it

and that’s my aim. Then I can express my feelings to people and that and then they should understand them and give me advice: like, what I could have done; what I could do in the future if he comes knocking and everything.


Wanting to set the record straight But I'm hoping he'll sit down and

let me explain it, and then, take him for a beer or whatever, go for a kick about-do the stuff I couldn't do.

More


Worry about how the meeting will go I don’t know how I'm going to react if T

ever knocks on the door…you know. I know what I want to do. I wanna, y’know… bring him in give him a cuddle…tell him how much I love him. But when I see him, I don’t know what I'm going to do. I might-for all I know I could slam the door in his face and go: “who are you? What are you doing?”


Will child reject father? I don’t know. I don’t know. I

honestly don’t know. I just-there’s something there where…he's just not going to want to come and see me 'cos of what I've done

more


Hedging bets We haven’t given it any thought. I

mean obviously we do the letterbox contact and whatnot and then if they decide “yes, we want to…meet…mum and dad”, then that’s a decision they have got to make when they [emphasis] are 18.

Rationalisations [1]

My children weren’t really abused...not like some

It’s best for the child not to fight Bargaining Refusing to say goodbye


My children weren’t really abused...not like some Er...its ... allright for the children

that have been abused by their parents and been...em... battered by their parents but otherwise the adoptions business is a very bad thing for the fathers who hasn't abused their children.


There's worse off children out there and the social services don’t even get involved.

Then you get good people like me and L [partner's name] which-yeah we've had bad stuff happen, [unclear] done some stupid stuff... and we go through hell basically which I really think that is unfair 'cos you get people out there what batter their kids and they still get to keep them


It’s best for the child not to fight Y'know: Why did it happen? Why didn’t

you fight it? Was-would be the u-the usual-well: Why didn’t you let it go to court? Why didn’t you fight it? So, what’s the point of that because…they're going to win and what are you doing? You thinking of yourself [emphasis] or you thinking of the kids. And…if the children sense there's a problem they're gonna-they're gonna pick up-it’s going to affect them [emphasis].


Bargaining One-one of the key stipulations

we had with this was, was 'cos there was two had been fostered; two been adopted: that they must have sibling contact.


Refusing to say goodbye It took one signature and for E just

to give Up on A and I said: “no, I'm not going to, because I'm not going to say goodbye to her”. Y'know, I didn’t meet the family-the adoptive parents for that very reason-I didn’t want to say goodbye to her.

Coping strategies [1]

To withdraw from the fight Just get on with it Blocking out the memories Making changes for the child’s

sake Knuckling down to work Managing feelings differently


To withdraw from the fight [Unclear] I'm glad... well I'm not

glad.....glad I don't have to deal with them no more. It could have got dragged through the court that I said "no, I've had too much pain. I'm not having more". Um.... I can't think of anything else. Just, how much it hurt.


Just get on with it So I just live day by day; take what

comes and thank the Lord that I still am here that day.

Just get on with it. [unclear] I go to work; I've got me kids here; got me girlfriend: Get on with it. If I keep myself busy…em…I don’t-I don’t sort of-I don’t get into the point where I'm thinking about him-ah, I'm thinking about him all the time but I don’t get to the point where I'm getting depressed about it…but I do miss him.


Blocking out the memories Q: Was there anything that helps you to

think positively about your children? Is there anything that helps you get through, get through the day?

A: I blank -- blank it out my mind....... I very rarely look up there [looks up at pictures of adopted children] I very rarely set up on that -- look up on that wall. I block it out.. [Long pause]...


Making changes for the child’s sake All I think about is what would it be like

if he was here. What would we be doing? Where would we be and what job would I have? I just-makes me want to change like-do it all [emphasis]-but without him. You just get upset most of the time about it. I think I …can’t be getting upset. I need to be strong-I need to…look to the future…and that’s what I do. More


Knuckling down to work I've knuckled down, trying to get a

job now but at first I wouldn't….. I think that was just down to being lazy… and now I realise that I've got to get a job, get some income and that, get my own house, provide for we'll have more children. More


Managing feelings differently I wish I could “blah blah”. I'm not

sounding girly but I wish I could and that….. But it’s something I've got to work on as…myself and that. I've got to conquer that fear of talking about me emotions and stuff.


Managing feelings differently contd I'm not a very open person. Em…

oh, I'd rather keep things bottled up. Then when they do sort of come out, it comes out the wrong way. I get angry [emphasis] …and it’s not with anyone- it’s with myself.

Is support acceptable? [1]

Thoughts about accepting help Counselling an unacceptable

model Wanting to meet other birth

fathers


Thoughts about accepting help I'm always getting told off for it by-by my

girlfriend, she's always saying: “ask for help; ask for something; do something; get something done about it”. I just can't ask for help. I don’t-I don’t mean to do it but I push people away when I'm doing something because… that’s mine-it’s my thing; I'm doing it and I want to do it right… em…and I just get angry.

More


Counselling an unacceptable model I don’t…em... have experience with

counselling [unclear] I got the blame for everything that happened to me and I weren’t happy. I thought well was it my fault? [unclear] but I'm supposed to talk. I know it wasn’t my fault but then get the blame for it. Why do I want to go back and go for more counselling?


Wanting to meet other birth fathers …they're going through it. Like I

said, learning from their mistakes; give advice what to do if they’ve done something wrong. And that’s basically it: just have support from other dads what’s had it done.


Wanting to meet other birth fathers [continued] The way you do it! Sitting down,

getting the information, speaking to two or three different people and as-as-if you had four people sitting round this table and we all discuss it.

The delight and pain of letterbox contact [1]

Letters and photos much valued- photos particularly

Some suspicion of adopters Reply letters agonisingly difficult

to write Longing for live interaction


Letters and photos much valued- photos particularly We read the letter and that and

pulled out the picture. L started crying. Just… the pure shock of knowing he's-he looked totally different. He looked a lot-he looked a lot happier…having the time of his life and the best life possible


Some suspicion of adopters I think what happens a lot, happens like

my children (the little boys there) [points at photo of his children who were adopted] . They'd been adopted, they are C and L [names his children]. I've got a feeling the same thing' s happens now that they washed, yes brainwashed to make other people -- the other people -- are its parents and not.. not us sort of thing.


Reply letters agonisingly difficult to write …I find it hard [emphasis] writing

back, it is… I can talk [emphasis] …em…having a conversation, but writing it down-I know what I want to say up here [points to head]. Soon as I write it down on paper-that doesn’t-it’s exactly the same as what was in my head but it doesn’t look or sound right.


Longing for live interaction All I've seen is a picture that catches

that one moment but… what led up to it? What happened afterwards? That’s-that’s-that’s what's not fair….. I'd like to sort of have it on the web cam. If I could get their email address-I-if it was allowed [emphasis], I'd have their email address and say right, OK, can we speak to him today, 'cos then…em... the other kids could see him and they can see-they ca- see and I can see-with a picture you catch that one moment.

Subjects’ “offline” comments [1]

One subject sought advice on tracing his own adoptive mother

One discussed difficulty explaining feelings to partner

One expressed isolation and desire to meet other fathers

Subjects’ “offline” comments [2]

One offered support to other fathers

All wanted feedback on results 4/5 said they would like to hear

feedback as a group All but one wanted transcript

Discussion – feelings of loss [1]

Echoes previous findings: Birth mothers (Bouchier et al

1991) Birth fathers of relinquished

children (Clapton 2003; Witney 2005)

Birth parents have profound and continuing grief reactions and continue to worry about their children

Discussion - feelings of loss [2]

Differences in circumstances: Care proceedings & Closeness to separation don’t

seem to make much difference Questions: does anger/

contention change grieving? Does modern relinquishment

make parting harder to bear?

Discussion – experience of exclusion [1]

Parallels with Mason and Selman [1997] More

Birth fathers involved in care proceedings feel overwhelmed by powerful forces

Some hints about improving that experience at the margins- empowerment at meetings; status respect; more men in workforce

Discussion – focus on possible future meeting

Hugely important issue for these fathers and preoccupies them

Men and adoption contact – historical comparisons

Now, most adoptions have a letterbox arrangement

Living parallel lives Living “on hold” Fluctuating expectations

Discussion – is support acceptable?

Will talk about feelings in the right context

Counselling model not acceptable

Fathers need highly proactive outreach

They stress advice giving and receiving- helping others!

Want to meet other fathers

Discussion – Letterbox

Fathers want more interactive forms of contact

Photos much valued…. Then news Return letters agonisingly

difficult to write Consider innovation using

technologies? DVDs/webcams etc

Discussion – beyond description to explanation [1]

Grounded theory is meant to move beyond description to explanation - predictive

Use of literature, memoing, for constant comparison

Suggesting areas for category development & theoretical sampling


Comparison from chronically ill men study by Charmaz [1994]

Similarities in the men and the challenge faced

How do these men cope with life changing crises

Crises threaten “men’s taken for granted masculine identities”


Identity dilemmas: Risking activity vs. forced

passivity Remaining independent vs.

becoming dependent Maintaining dominance vs.

becoming subordinate Preserving a public persona vs.

acknowledging private feelings


Questioning masculine identity Connell [1995]: decline of

“hegemonic masculinity” Many “masculinities” instead Where are our birth fathers in

spectrum? Informs key responses? Consider data re expression of

feelings/ partner empathy/ “kicking off”/ being absent/ “children weren’t really abused” etc

Discussion- typologies [5]

“Typologies” of birth fathers would help commissioning

Trial of practice initiatives aimed at particular sub groups

Starting with most accessible and moving out

Evolving practice knowledge and skills

How to take the study forward [1]

More formal category development

Sensitisation to new issues Describe findings to existing

subjects and obtain feedback Increase sample quantity Sample “theoretically” to test

emerging theory

How to take the study forward [2]

Seek fathers with particular attributes: e.g. ethnic minorities; prisoners

Sample through other sources: via media advertising; prison service; voluntary organisations; etc

Develop typologies

Practice & policy pointers [1]

Much more care is taken to identify and engage fathers

Where teams are in flux knowledge of and contact with fathers disappears quickly

Databases and records don’t always capture precious father information

Still significant minority of children “lose” birth fathers


Few social workers/ managers are openly dismissive of birth fathers

But…little evidence of a “gendered approach” to safeguarding or adoption issues

Additional training for social workers/ managers to equip them for their key role


No adoption support services there which make sense to fathers CSCI

Fathers profoundly affected by their child’s adoption

Fathers deserve a service in their own right and for children’s sake

Traditional counselling model inappropriate (counselling skills still apply)


Need to provide tailored adoption support for fathers

Approach must be highly proactive- outreach not in-drag

Look at father-inclusive practice across the board top 10 tips

New “Gender Equality Duty” requires action more

Recommendations [1]

Audit services for “father friendliness”

Workshops to support better practice with fathers

Appoint birth family workers More relevant regional

adoption support

Recommendations [2]

Capture key information about each father early

Adapt databases to aid service planning for fathers

Improve the gender equality plan to include fathers

More research into fathers’ perspectives

References – working with fathers in practice

Burgess, A and Bartlett, D Working with fathers Fathers Direct

Daniel, B & Taylor, J Engaging with fathers Jessica Kingsley 2001

Equal Opportunities Commission website http://www.eoc.org.uk/

Fathers Direct website – www.fathersdirect.com

Featherstone, Brid; Rivett, Mark; and Scourfield, Jonathan (2007) Working with men in health and social care Sage London.

References – research Charmaz, Kathy Identity dilemmas of chronically ill

men in Strauss, A & Corbin, J [eds] Grounded theory in practice Thousand Oaks CA: Sage

Clapton, Gary (2003) Birth Fathers and their Adoption Experiences Jessica Kingsley, London.

Clapton, Gary (2007) The experiences and needs of birth fathers in adoption: what we know now and some practice implications Practice 19 (1) March 2007 pages 61-71.

CSCI (2006)Adoption: messages from inspections of adoption agencies

Flouri, E (2005) Fathering and child outcomes John Wiley and Son, Chichester.

Haralambos, M & Holborn, M (2004) Sociology: themes and perspectives HarperCollins London.

References – research Mason, Kathy & Selman, Peter (1997) Birth parents’

experience of contested adoption Adoption and Fostering 21 (1) 21-28.

Melrose, M (2000) Fixing it: young people drugs and disadvantage Russell House Publishing Lyme Regis.

Melrose M and Dean H (1996) Unravelling citizenship: the significance of social security benefit fraud Critical Social Policy 16 (3).

Strauss, A and Corbin, J (1998) Basics of Qualitative Research: Techniques and Procedures for Developing Grounded Theory Sage, London.

Witney, Celia (2005) Over half a million fathers: An exploration into the experiences of fathers involved in adoption in the mid 20th century in England and Wales

Journal of Social Work 5 (1) 83-99.

ContentsWhy this project

Origins of project

Literature

Assumptions

Research question

Why Qualitative approach

Project design

Sample - child cohort

Sample - fathers’ referral process

Sample - reasons for exclusion

Sample – staff comments

Sample – getting subjects

Profiles of subjects

Data collection

Data analysis

Interim results

Interim findings summary

Feelings of loss

Experience of exclusion

Focus on possible future meeting

Rationalisations

Coping strategies

Is support acceptable?

Letterbox contact

Subjects’ offline comments

Discussion

How to take study forward

Practice and policy pointers

Recommendations

References

birth fathers of children adopted after care proceedings project a small qualitative pilot study by...

Documents

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birth fathers of children

research fathers of

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fathers adoption agencies