Biblical RelationshipsBiblical Relationships

Grace Fellowship ChurchGrace Fellowship ChurchJune 5, 2009June 5, 2009

Pastor Teacher, Jim Pastor Teacher, Jim RickardRickard

www.GraceDoctrine.orgwww.GraceDoctrine.org

Part 5Part 5

Problems Solving Inside Problems Solving Inside the Marriagethe Marriage

Eph 4:31-32 Eph 4:31-32

Three Divine rules designed to Three Divine rules designed to produce virtue in marriageproduce virtue in marriage::

1. Husbands love your wives, Eph 5:25.1. Husbands love your wives, Eph 5:25.2. Wives obey your husbands, 2. Wives obey your husbands, Col 3:18. Col 3:18.3. Husbands & wives forgive each 3. Husbands & wives forgive each other as Christ forgave us, other as Christ forgave us, Eph 4:31-32. Eph 4:31-32.

1) Bitterness as a part of the 1) Bitterness as a part of the arrogance complex is a cause arrogance complex is a cause of malfunction in marriage.of malfunction in marriage.

2) This is an appeal to the 2) This is an appeal to the volition of a fragmented volition of a fragmented believer to use Problem-believer to use Problem-

Solving Devices and Grace Solving Devices and Grace Assets to recover from Assets to recover from cosmic involvement.cosmic involvement.

3) The expression of malice 3) The expression of malice is evil. Malice is both the is evil. Malice is both the desire and motivation to desire and motivation to

inflict misery, suffering, and inflict misery, suffering, and injury on someone else.injury on someone else.

4) Being a believer you are a 4) Being a believer you are a beneficiary of grace and beneficiary of grace and should therefore exercise should therefore exercise grace to others, especially grace to others, especially

your spouse.your spouse.

5) Compassion is maximum 5) Compassion is maximum demonstration of your demonstration of your

Impersonal and Impersonal and Unconditional love.Unconditional love.

6) Forgiveness is not a 6) Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a commitment feeling, it is a commitment to forget the things that lie to forget the things that lie

behind and focus on the behind and focus on the present and what is ahead. present and what is ahead.

Phil 3:13Phil 3:13

7) Forgiveness is a sign of 7) Forgiveness is a sign of nobility and excellence in nobility and excellence in

executing the Christian way executing the Christian way of life.of life.

The Solution to Marital The Solution to Marital ProblemsProblems::

1) The solution is the use of 1) The solution is the use of Impersonal Love for all Impersonal Love for all mankind, combined with mankind, combined with

personal love for your personal love for your spouse.spouse.

2) The secret to a successful 2) The secret to a successful marriage is Maximum Bible marriage is Maximum Bible Doctrine in your soul called Doctrine in your soul called

the Life Beyond Gnosis.the Life Beyond Gnosis.Eph 3:19Eph 3:19

3) Just as you have to grow 3) Just as you have to grow up and mature in life, you up and mature in life, you

have to grown up in have to grown up in marriage.marriage.

4) Three times in life you 4) Three times in life you must grow up, and each must grow up, and each

requires its own system of requires its own system of growing.growing.

a) When you are born.a) When you are born.b) When you are born again.b) When you are born again.

c) When you are married.c) When you are married.

5) People often fail as 5) People often fail as Christians because they do Christians because they do

not grow up.not grow up.

6) The greatest people in life 6) The greatest people in life are those who grow up in all are those who grow up in all

three categories.three categories.

7) If you grow up spiritually, 7) If you grow up spiritually, you will make it in the other you will make it in the other two areas. If you fail to grow two areas. If you fail to grow up spiritually, you will flunk up spiritually, you will flunk

in the other two areas. in the other two areas.

Therefore, the married Therefore, the married couple who does not couple who does not

metabolize Bible doctrine metabolize Bible doctrine has no basis for resolving the has no basis for resolving the

problems of marriage.problems of marriage.

The 5 Languages of Love:The 5 Languages of Love:

By Gary Chapman, By Gary Chapman, “The Five Love Languages, “The Five Love Languages,

how to express heartfelt how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate” commitment to your mate”

1992 1992

If a spouse does not receive If a spouse does not receive love expressed in their main love expressed in their main love language, they do not love language, they do not

feel loved.feel loved.

Also, each spouse has a Also, each spouse has a certain way that he or she certain way that he or she

expresses their love.expresses their love.

If your expression of love is If your expression of love is not in the “love language” of not in the “love language” of

your mate, then they will your mate, then they will feel unloved.feel unloved.

1) 1) Words of Affirmation:Words of Affirmation:Verbal compliments or Verbal compliments or words of appreciation; words of appreciation; simple straightforward simple straightforward

statements of affirmation; or statements of affirmation; or words of encouragement. words of encouragement.

Eph 4:32; Heb 3:13Eph 4:32; Heb 3:13

Heb 3:13, Heb 3:13, “But encourage one another “But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is day after day, as long as it is stillstill called “Today,” so that called “Today,” so that

none of you will be hardened none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”by the deceitfulness of sin.”

Prov 18:21, Prov 18:21, “Death and life are in the “Death and life are in the

power of the tongue.”power of the tongue.”

2) 2) Quality of TimeQuality of TimeGiving your spouse your Giving your spouse your

undivided attention; just the undivided attention; just the two of you, without two of you, without distractions; focused distractions; focused

attention; quality attention; quality conversations and activities. conversations and activities.

Prov 12:25, Prov 12:25, “Anxiety in a man’s heart “Anxiety in a man’s heart

weighs it down, but a good weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad.”word makes it glad.”

Eccl 3:8a, Eccl 3:8a, “There is “There is a timea time to love”. to love”.

3) 3) Receiving GiftsReceiving GiftsThe act of giving gifts to The act of giving gifts to your spouse. It is a visual your spouse. It is a visual symbol of love and can be symbol of love and can be something you purchase, something you purchase,

found or made. found or made.

In addition, you can give the In addition, you can give the gift of self. Being there for gift of self. Being there for

your spouse when they need your spouse when they need you.you.

2 Cor 9:7-8, 2 Cor 9:7-8, “Each one “Each one must domust do just as he has just as he has

purposed in his heart, not purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, grudgingly or under compulsion,

for God loves a cheerful giver. And for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always abound to you, so that always

having all sufficiency in having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an everything, you may have an

abundance for every good deed.”abundance for every good deed.”

4) 4) Acts of ServiceActs of Service

Doing things you know your Doing things you know your spouse would like you to do, spouse would like you to do,

with a positive attitude.with a positive attitude.

John 13:3-17; Mat 20:28 John 13:3-17; Mat 20:28

Gal 5:13,Gal 5:13,“For you were called to “For you were called to

freedom, brethren; only freedom, brethren; only dodo not not turnturn your freedom into your freedom into

an opportunity for the flesh, an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one but through love serve one

another.”another.”

5) 5) Physical TouchPhysical TouchHolding hands, kissing, Holding hands, kissing, embracing, back rubs, embracing, back rubs, massages and sexual massages and sexual

intercourse.intercourse.1 Cor 7:1-51 Cor 7:1-5

ConclusionConclusion::First discover your spouses First discover your spouses love language and secondly love language and secondly

identifying the way you identifying the way you express love to your spouse. express love to your spouse.

Then work towards Then work towards expressing your love in their expressing your love in their love language, by applying love language, by applying the Biblical principles of the Biblical principles of

Impersonal and Impersonal and Unconditional love.Unconditional love.

Grace Fellowship ChurchGrace Fellowship ChurchFriday, June 5, 2009Friday, June 5, 2009

Tape # 09F-005Tape # 09F-005

Biblical Relationships, Part 5Biblical Relationships, Part 5

Problem Solving Inside the MarriageProblem Solving Inside the Marriage

Eph 4:31-32; Phil 3:13: Heb 3:13; 1 Cor 7:1-5Eph 4:31-32; Phil 3:13: Heb 3:13; 1 Cor 7:1-5  

James H. Rickard Bible Ministries 2009James H. Rickard Bible Ministries 2009