One morning you notice unusual marks on Charlie’s arm. Thefirst time you saw them you weren’t quite sure, but now hehas finally taken his jumper off they are quite clear. You weregoing to ask him about them but something stopped you.They look like burn marks or scratches, perhaps 5cm in

length but discoloured, maybe even infected. Both marks are on theforearms. Charlie’s mum is not just a mum at the nursery but a personalfriend. She has had three children come through the nursery, and youknow the family well. But these marks look odd and you cannot ignorethem. Charlie hasn’t mentioned being in pain and he is certainly nottroubled by them. Yet his jumper is on again and you suspect that he isactively trying to hide the marks from you.

As you arrive home from work later that day the marks are stillbothering you. It is probably nothing, but best to make sure. You resolveto take action in the morning...

behaviourmanagement

When you have safeguardingconcerns about one of the

children in your care, it isimportant to play things by the

book, says Paul Dix...

Teach Nursery 23

Mysteriousmarks

How do yourespond?AMum’s the word – talk to Mum

and put your concerns to herdirectly. She is a good friend and willunderstand that you are just lookingout for Charlie.

BCharlie says – talk to Charlie andsee if he can clear up the mystery.

It will be much easier to get the truthfrom the horse’s mouth.

CUp a level – flag a possible childprotection issue with the member

of staff in charge of safeguarding.

The consequences

AMum’s the wordYou steal yourself to talk toCharlie’s mum. Unsure ofhow to approach the

subject you clumsily scoot around withquestions about how Charlie is feeling

and whether or not he is happy. Theconversation is awkward and Mum,

Sasha, is clearly confused. You only have ashort time before the children are tired ofwaiting outside and interrupt you. In adesperate attempt to hurry to the point youpose a clumsy and ultimately disastrousquestion. “Charlie has nasty scars on his armand I wondered why?” is answered with along silence, then, “How dare you!” a heelturn, slamming door and some permanentdamage to your friendship.

When the inevitable complaint emailcomes in you realise just how inept youhave been. You now have to explain yourselfto the boss and worry that a formal warningmight be winging its way towards you.Somewhere in the back of your mind thephrase, “Not your job to investigate” echoes.

Talking behaviour■ What might be the unintendedconsequences of talking directly to Mum?■ Is it okay to develop close friendshipswith parents?■ Is it your job to investigate?

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Keep to the agreed and consistent policy –if you have any suspicions about a child’s

safety then report the facts to thedesignated safeguarding officer

findoutmorePaul Dix is author of Taking Care ofBehaviour and runs a leading trainingconsultancy. If you want to learnoutstanding safeguarding practice foryourself, have a look at Paul’s OnlineSafeguarding Course. Visitwww.pivotaleducation.com/online-courses-resources or join theconversation on Twitter @PivotalPaul

BCharlie saysWalking and talking with Charlie inthe yard seems the best time toopen up the conversation. You ask

him about the marks on his arm, but he isnot keen to reveal the answer. He diverts theconversation a few times. You ask to see hisarm, but he is not willing to let you examineclosely. He doesn’t want to show you. Yetyou persist and, after some gentle cajolingand a promise to keep a secret, he reveals toyou that he made the marks with his oldersister. “There was lots of bleeding and somegot onto the curtains in my room”, heexplains. “Mum called an ambulance and thepolice came,” he continues. “The helicopterlanded in the back garden and monkeys ranout with banana guns.”

You being to wonder if all or any ofCharlie’s account of events is entirelyaccurate. Still no closer to discovering whatthe marks on his arm might be you wonderif talking to Charlie was the right decision. Asmall voice chimes in with, “I wasn’tsupposed to tell you,” and you are nowworried that within the fantasy there is somedarker truth.

Talking behaviour■ Should you encourage children todisclose information to you?■ How might Charlie explain thisconversation when he gets home?■ What should you do now?

CUp a level Although you think that it might betoo soon to report it, you go to talkto the designated safeguarding

officer (or Maureen, as she is morecommonly known). She reassures you thatyou were absolutely right to come andspeak to her first, and asks you to writedown the facts. She helps you separate itfrom the suspicions and half-truths. Youbreathe a huge sigh of relief when sheexplains that you will not have to investigateor involve yourself further beyondremaining vigilant. Your relationship withCharlie’s mum is safe, and you are no longercarrying your suspicions alone. You arerelived but still worry about the real reasonbehind the marks. Maureen has promised anupdate and you are content that you havedone all you can.

A few days later Maureen comes to seeyou. It seems that Daddy is to blame. Hebought the children gruesome make-up andthey went nuts with it. Apparently it wasn’t

just the curtains that were ‘bled’ on. The sofa,bannisters and two dogs were also victims ofthe chaos. Mum had tried to clean them up,but she suspects there are still some leftover fake scars being hoarded...

Talking Behaviour ■ Do you know who the designatedsafeguarding officer is in your workplace?■ What will Maureen do with theinformation you have given her?■ Will Maureen have to reveal where thereport came from?

Which approach did you use?

AYOUR BEHAVIOUR STYLEFools rush in

That little voice was right.You are not Poirot. Putthe notebook away andtake down the picturesof suspectsaccumulating in yourmind. Your vigilance isexcellent but it doesn’tmake you Taggart’sapprentice. Think carefullybefore you act. Consult theagreed procedures, ask forhelp, talk to your colleagues. Evenbetter, talk to Maureen.

BYOUR BEHAVIOUR STYLESlippery bananas

Your gung ho intervention is reckless.Encouraging children to disclose personalinformation is fraught with danger foreveryone concerned. It is also not your jobto do this. You cannot promise children thatyou can keep their secret. If a childdiscloses information to you, you mustrecord and refer it.

CYOUR BEHAVIOUR STYLEPure procedure

Keep to the agreed and consistent policy.Spot on. If you have any suspicions about achild’s safety then report the facts to thedesignated safeguarding officer. She willhave been trained to manage informationand will deal with your concerns quicklyand efficiently. Don’t worry that it mightseem trivial. Don’t worry if you are close tothe family. Don’t worry if the story containsbanana guns or monkey helicopters!

24 Teach Nursery

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