b02 – death notification - revised 2/8/2012 chaplain jim crowley basic core class b2 – death...

B02 – Death Notification - Revised 2/8/2012

Chaplain Jim CrowleyChaplain Jim Crowley

Basic Core ClassBasic Core Class

B2 – Death NotificationB2 – Death Notification

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THE MISSION:THE MISSION:

To deliver an in person message of death To deliver an in person message of death as humanely and compassionately as as humanely and compassionately as possible and then remain to help possible and then remain to help physically, emotionally and spiritually until physically, emotionally and spiritually until the natural support system is assured.the natural support system is assured.


Natural CausesNatural Causes Traffic AccidentTraffic Accident Household or Industrial AccidentHousehold or Industrial Accident HomicideHomicide Suicide Suicide Shootings by PoliceShootings by Police Child DeathChild Death

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Face to face; never by phone if possibleFace to face; never by phone if possible Present identificationPresent identification Ascertain identity of deceased and relationshipAscertain identity of deceased and relationship Have everyone be seatedHave everyone be seated Be specific and use clear languageBe specific and use clear language

Use words like “Dead” and “Killed”Use words like “Dead” and “Killed” Do not use words like “Passed On” or Do not use words like “Passed On” or

“They’re Gone”“They’re Gone”


Give pertinent informationGive pertinent information Be compassionateBe compassionate Answer questions truthfullyAnswer questions truthfully Do not speculateDo not speculate Begin to assemble support for the family such Begin to assemble support for the family such

minister, family, neighborsminister, family, neighbors Determine funeral home preferenceDetermine funeral home preference Explain Medical Examiner if appropriateExplain Medical Examiner if appropriate


Allow people to act out their emotionsAllow people to act out their emotions Be truthful with informationBe truthful with information

Provide appropriate informationProvide appropriate information Do not share information regarding the ongoing Do not share information regarding the ongoing

investigationinvestigation Advise family when necessary on how to find further Advise family when necessary on how to find further

informationinformation


Assume NothingAssume Nothing Identify those involved Identify those involved Check your informationCheck your information

Hospitalized or deceasedHospitalized or deceased Who, where, whenWho, where, when Next of KinNext of Kin

LocationLocation RelationshipRelationship Special Circumstances (physical, mental)Special Circumstances (physical, mental)

Proceed as quickly as practicalProceed as quickly as practical


ClothingClothing I.D.I.D. Business Card – Chaplain vs PastorBusiness Card – Chaplain vs Pastor Note Pad that looks professionalNote Pad that looks professional Something to write with x’s 2!!!Something to write with x’s 2!!! FlashlightFlashlight GPSGPS ID for VehicleID for Vehicle Your Vehicle/Officer Drives they stay!!!Your Vehicle/Officer Drives they stay!!!


Begins with helper’s preparation!Begins with helper’s preparation!

What is your physical condition?What is your physical condition?

What is your mental and emotional What is your mental and emotional condition?condition?

Your own spiritual preparation.Your own spiritual preparation.

Restroom – breath mints – odors.Restroom – breath mints – odors.


Combating the grim reaper image!Combating the grim reaper image!

Do you ever get depressed at the thought of Do you ever get depressed at the thought of the responsibility?the responsibility?

Combat it by the integrity of the Combat it by the integrity of the responsibility.responsibility.

It must be cared for with integrity.It must be cared for with integrity.

Do you have the right address and correct Do you have the right address and correct information?information?


Other issues to consider!Other issues to consider!

What is the Medical history at the address?What is the Medical history at the address?

What is the physical setting? Do you have What is the physical setting? Do you have privacy? What if they collapse?privacy? What if they collapse?

Is the house clear?Is the house clear?

Do you have or need a safe distance? No Do you have or need a safe distance? No one else will maintain that for you but you!one else will maintain that for you but you!


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Assess!Assess!

Assess what the family member knows Assess what the family member knows or think they knowor think they know

Listen for a moment. It maybe your Listen for a moment. It maybe your best tool.best tool.


Clarify! Clarify!

Depending on the news to be delivered, Depending on the news to be delivered, a few questions could assist you:a few questions could assist you:

““What have you been told or has What have you been told or has anyone spoken to you about_____?”anyone spoken to you about_____?”


““An awareness of what the person An awareness of what the person knows and the accuracy of the knows and the accuracy of the information can assist you in information can assist you in determining what needs to be determining what needs to be

explained or corrected.”explained or corrected.”


Identify the event!Identify the event!

The warning is simply coming to the The warning is simply coming to the place that identifies the event.place that identifies the event.

i.e. “There has been a bad car i.e. “There has been a bad car accident and your husband was accident and your husband was involved.”involved.”


Pause!Pause!Pause to allow them to register this Pause to allow them to register this

information.information.I’m sorry to tell you that your I’m sorry to tell you that your

husband did not survive – he died husband did not survive – he died at …. The scene – the hospital – at …. The scene – the hospital – en route - en route -


Use simple, everyday speech!Use simple, everyday speech!

Medical terminology, criminal Medical terminology, criminal investigation or law enforcement investigation or law enforcement language will only confuse and language will only confuse and may require you to explain more may require you to explain more than you want or are capable of!than you want or are capable of!


Simple language says – “we are Simple language says – “we are equals in this time of your loss and equals in this time of your loss and grief” The tone of voice should be grief” The tone of voice should be direct – soft – clear – compassionate direct – soft – clear – compassionate rather than robotic – “just the facts rather than robotic – “just the facts ma’am”ma’am”


Don’t do an investigation!Don’t do an investigation!

In the part of telling it is better for the In the part of telling it is better for the Chaplains to leave criminal Chaplains to leave criminal investigation knowledge with the investigation knowledge with the agency that you are serving.agency that you are serving.

Allow them to give information as they Allow them to give information as they see fit.see fit.


Warning!Warning!

Furthering conversation may Furthering conversation may bring about unneeded stress.bring about unneeded stress.

Continued questioning may Continued questioning may arouse or create hostility. We arouse or create hostility. We need to be careful. need to be careful.


Pay close attentionPay close attention!!

Pay close attention to the verbal and Pay close attention to the verbal and nonverbal messages.nonverbal messages.

An emotional breakdown would necessitate An emotional breakdown would necessitate immediate care and a break from any further immediate care and a break from any further information until they are stabilized. information until they are stabilized.

There are times that laughter maybe the There are times that laughter maybe the reaction.reaction.


Pay close attention!Pay close attention!

There are times that Denial will be There are times that Denial will be exhibited.exhibited.

A complete lack of Emotion may be the A complete lack of Emotion may be the experience as well.experience as well.

Follow up at the scene or in the next Follow up at the scene or in the next day or two may be needed – is most day or two may be needed – is most often needed!often needed!


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What’s next?What’s next?

What is the next course of action? This What is the next course of action? This could vary from how do we get our could vary from how do we get our loved one home, to the vehicle towed, loved one home, to the vehicle towed, personal affects – how do we clean our personal affects – how do we clean our home?home?

We should be prepared in this phase to We should be prepared in this phase to assist with resources and answer basic assist with resources and answer basic questions.questions.


What’s next?What’s next?

Referral for pastoral care.Referral for pastoral care.

Family, Friends, NeighborsFamily, Friends, Neighbors

No piece of paper with names on it No piece of paper with names on it will be as valuable as the will be as valuable as the professional and caring attitude of professional and caring attitude of the Chaplain.the Chaplain.


THE WAVE IMPACTTHE WAVE IMPACT When support arrives we relive the When support arrives we relive the

shock, the pain, the brokenness.shock, the pain, the brokenness. We Grieve!We Grieve!


I know how you feelI know how you feel Time heals all woundsTime heals all wounds You’ll get over thisYou’ll get over this You must go on with your lifeYou must go on with your life He didn’t know what hit himHe didn’t know what hit him


You can always find someone worse off You can always find someone worse off than yourselfthan yourself

You must focus on your precious You must focus on your precious memoriesmemories

It’s better to have loved and lost than It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at allnever to have loved at all


It must have been his/her timeIt must have been his/her time Someday you’ll understand whySomeday you’ll understand why It was actually a blessing because . . .It was actually a blessing because . . . God must have needed her more than God must have needed her more than

you didyou did God never gives us more than we can God never gives us more than we can

handlehandle Only the good die youngOnly the good die young


I am sorryI am sorry I am so sorry for your lossI am so sorry for your loss Accept the survivor’s expression of griefAccept the survivor’s expression of grief Don’t try to talk the survivor out of his/her Don’t try to talk the survivor out of his/her

griefgrief Sometimes saying nothing at allSometimes saying nothing at all


Verify facts to be sure identification is correctVerify facts to be sure identification is correct Don’t make notification by phone if possibleDon’t make notification by phone if possible Don’t leave survivors aloneDon’t leave survivors alone Have an officer, other personnel, or another Have an officer, other personnel, or another

chaplain accompanychaplain accompany Avoid media contact; do not release Avoid media contact; do not release

informationinformation Provide information about Medical Examiner Provide information about Medical Examiner

procedures if applicableprocedures if applicable


ShockShock Disbelief Disbelief ConfusionConfusion Physical illnessPhysical illness Extreme emotional responseExtreme emotional response NumbnessNumbness QuietQuiet


Never share information with media unless Never share information with media unless directed by police personneldirected by police personnel

Media should not be involved in notification Media should not be involved in notification processprocess

Investigation is separate from notification Investigation is separate from notification processprocess

Never relate crime investigation information to Never relate crime investigation information to survivors or mediasurvivors or media


REVIEWIn personIn timeIn pairsIn plain languageWith compassion


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Using the Pewter Method accomplish a group Using the Pewter Method accomplish a group Death Notification!Death Notification!

Identify your Reactions –Identify your Reactions – Identify their Reception –Identify their Reception –

Choose Two Concepts that you will Adapt and Choose Two Concepts that you will Adapt and Polish.Polish.

Questions and Feed Back time permitting!Questions and Feed Back time permitting!


b02 – death notification - revised 2/8/2012 chaplain jim crowley basic core class b2 – death...

Documents

person message of death

family member

physical condition

physical setting

natural support system

clear languageuse words

correct information

right address