awakening your imagination & creativity in end-of...
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Awakening Your Imagination & Creativity in End-of-Life Awareness & Communication
Kei Okada MDiv BCCLead Spiritual Care Counselor
APC Professional Chaplaincy Webinar
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HOSPICE < Guesthouse
Hospitality as a divine right of the guestand a divine duty of the host, or a lodging, inn
A hospitable place of REST and PEACE where the life travelers can find rest, welcome and safe to be who they are, in their personal experience, expression & search for their journey home.
HOSPICE < Guesthouse
Hospitality as a divine right of the guestand a divine duty of the host, or a lodging, inn
A hospitable place of REST and PEACE where the life travelers can find rest, welcome and safe to be who WE are, in their personal experience, expression & search for OUR journey home.
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Care < Gothic Kara
“Lament” To cry with” “To have sorrow with”
Com-passion < Latin com passus
“To suffer together with” Patient = “one who suffers”
In Hebrew = Plural of “womb”
Internal “labor pain” to give birth to a new life/depth of compassion
We are spiritual “midwives”!
Comfort and DignityQOL
Dignity
The ‘gift of life’, God’s special gift, isno less beautiful when it is accompaniedby illness or weakness, hunger or poverty,mental or physical handicaps,loneliness or old age.
- Terence Cardinal Cooke
Comfort and DignityQOL intrinsic
attributedrelational
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Social Worker
BereavementCounselor
Volunteer
Nutritionist
Home Health Aid
Nurse
Doctor
Patient“the Care unit”
SpiritualCare Counselor
・
PainPainPainPainPainPainPainP
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Pain Suffering
SufferingChurch
friends
resiliency
growing
Living NOW
an honest talk
forgiving
God
positive things
meaningful momentslegacy
reconciliation
remembering
mystery
echoesresonance
waves
wind
roots
still small voice
climbing
restingretiring
taking off
fulfilling
windows
safe landing
new eyes
caring
crossing
family
hoping
good humanity
praying
changing
sharing
thanking
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Art of Listening
Listening toStories
Patient < Persondiagnosis living experience
Cure Care
Patient < Persondiagnosis living experience
Your Story
Unfolding…
Your story enters my story…
Patient < Persondiagnosis living experience
You’rea Story
We are made of stories!
Life is a Parable…metaphors in action! Windows, Mirrors
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SUFFERING = Total Pain Dame Cecily Saunders, 1967
Physical Pain Disease symptoms, constipation, side effects, psychosomatic
Social Pain Loss of one’s relational/social roles/identities, Family conflict, Financial concerns …
Psychological Pain Anxiety, Fear, Anger, Grief, Depression …
Spiritual Pain Difficulty accepting the mortalityLack/Loss of self-worth/acceptance, Despair Loss of meaning and purpose of life, Hopelessness Meaning of suffering (fear of punishment & afterlife)Sense of guilt, Separation from the divine, Loss of faith
Need of forgiveness and/or reconciliationLoneliness, isolation, separation from a community/custom
Spirituality
“Spirituality is the aspect of humanity that refers to the way individuals seek and express meaning and purpose
and the way they experience their connectedness to the moment, to self, to others, to nature, and to the significant or sacred.”
- National Consensus Project
Spirituality
Our spirituality is the way we interpret this world and others and ourselves.
Life is a journey where suffering is the normal course of events. Relief of the suffering associated with illness is one of the primary goals of medicine.
One's spirituality gives the framework for how we interpret our sufferings.
Suffering is the place where medicine and spirituality intersect.
- James A. Avery, MD
Life Evaluation… values
What we interpret experience
Meaning & Purpose
Connectedness
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Life Evaluation… loss of values
What we interpret experience
Meaningless & Purposeless… to live
Disconnected from …
Life Evaluation… loss of values
What we interpret experience
Meaningless & Purposeless… to live
Disconnected fromthe moment, self, others, nature, the significant or sacred.”
What is it like? experience
Meaningless & Purposeless… to live
Disconnected fromthe moment, self, others, nature, the significant or sacred.”
“ Soul pain is reached and healed by the way routine care is carried out. ”
- Dame Cicely Saunders (1967)
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Being PRESENT in the Moment
Non-anxious, grounded presence
Be present with You Others “Empathy”
…with Life
Medicine
Cure Poison Healer Patient
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Self-empathy involves
an awareness that you are suffering,
and a genuine care and kindness for yourself to end that suffering.
Self-empathy involves
an awareness that you are suffering,
and a genuine care and kindness for yourself to end that suffering.
This connection and care for oneself is related to an understanding and care for others.
Self-empathy opens the way to interpersonal empathy.
- Mark Shapiro
Life is Becoming Whole
Doing – Being Living – Dying
Health – Illness Perfection – Imperfection Success – Failure ?
Healing (Healer) – Suffering (Patient) Light (cure) – Shadow (poison) ‘pharmacon’
Beauty of Journeying towards Peace
Doing – Being Living – Dying
Health – Illness Perfection – Imperfection Success – Failure ?
Healing (Healer) – Suffering (Patient) Light (cure) – Shadow (poison) ‘pharmacon’
Death Anxiety/Fear Awareness/Acceptance
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Empathy
“It is not a mere sympathy or concern;it “requires an effort
to stand in the other person’s shoes and go beyond the interpersonal pressures of
the moment”
Dr. Pamela Cooper-White
Inter-personal pressures fears
Need/Desire to be needed, to be “the One” fear of not being needed, fear of separation, abandonment
Need/Desire to fix fear of failing the parental reward for being a “good child”
Need/Desire to be right fear of being wrong =“defeated” “failed” “lost”
Stories of Love’s Delivery
Suffering Struggling Searching
Stories of Love
Trusting Hoping Appreciating
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Stories of Love
God loves me. God loves us.
Stories of Love
I believe in Good humanity.
Stories of Love
Becoming Love Becoming Yourself Becoming a Good/Loving neighbor
Stories of Love
Love is suffering. I am suffering. My neighbors are suffering.
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Stories of Love
Love is healing. I am healing. My neighbors are healing.
To see the world in a grain of sandand heaven in a wild flower
To hold infinity in the palm of your handand eternity in an hour
- William Blake
Spiritual pain
Lost the sense of normalcy/nature = being “me”
“It’s not me.” “Who am I?”“I am nobody.”“This is not life.”“I feel lost, defeated.”
Spiritual Pain - Types of Loss
1. MEANING power, strength, control, independencySense of worth, trust/faith - being “alive”
2. PURPOSE direction, destiny, hope Sense of accomplishment, growth - being “fulfilled”
3. CONNECTEDNESS bond, love – forgiveness, reconciliationSense of safety, comfort - being “loved”
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Metaphorical Imaginations widens the scope ofour inter-sensory bonds to feel more deeply,express more intimately & live more fullyour experiences…
Metaphorical Imaginations widens the scope ofour inter-sensory bonds to feel more deeply,express more intimately & live more fullyour experiences…
Land walking running traveling
Sea swimming cruising surfing
Air taking off safe landing
Where are you? What do you see?
Person – Story, Relationships Living – Traveling
Storm contrary wind… Running a marathon very tired the finish line Water swimming, surfing Flying preparing to land through air turbulence
Who are you? meaning, purpose, connectedness
Person “nobody” “burden” “dead” “not me”
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Who are you? SPACE & TIME
Person – Story, Relationships BODY limbs… ROLES not yet & already
CONNECTEDNESS bond, love – forgiveness, reconciliationSense of safety, comfort - being “loved”
with you with your body - mind - spirit
with your pastwith your nowwith your futurewith the moment
with your loved oneswith the Sacred
Life
Essenceshared & received in relationships = Gift
Shared search, strugglesource of peace
Resonancecontinuing beyond death (“afterlife”)
Life
History = Already accomplished = Appreciation
Moment = meaningfulness = Awareness
Wonder & Mystery (“miracles”) = Awe
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May your loved one continue toinspire you and guide you, encourage you and give you peace,with his/her courage, wisdom and love.
May your loved one remain close to your heart like a fountain where you will find inspiring and refreshing water ofcourage and wisdom, peace and love.
The wound: flesh or spirit deep
The choice: to quit or keep on
The way: accept and let go
The promise: to heal and grow
- Arlene Gay Levine
Thank you!