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"I used to wonder if I was ready to be an adoptive parent, until I realized that children are never ready to be orphans." ~Elizabeth Styffe I came across this quote on a friend's Facebook page and after a quick Google search found the person behind the name. Elizabeth Styffe is a mother to 7 children, three of which she adopted from an impoverished orphanage in Rwanda.  Her journey to adoption began with the realization that she, with a masters degree in pediatric nursing, adoring husband, and 4 children, had more to give and consequently more to receive.  Her faithfulness to that realization, and the adoptions that ensued paved the way for her to have even more to give and receive.  Elizabeth now works for one of the largest churches in the US as the Global Orphan Care Director and was recognized as a UN International Women's Day "My Female Faith Hero." More to give = more to receive.  I love this equation because it is one that

continues to be proven valid. When we give in big ways we are freed to receive in big

ways, which results in giving more.   Frequently, I hear people base their decision to adopt a child on "readiness", as if their piggy bank of time, money, and parenting experience was either full or not quite full enough to tap into.  (This is not to say that every person should adopt.)  I am simply challenging the notion that a person's "readiness" when juxtaposed to a child's abandonment may not be the word we should employ when

making the decision to adopt or not to adopt.  The truth is their are real children who need loving and permanent families. The truth is we all have resources.  The truth is when we give of ourselves in big ways, when we open our hearts, and for some of us, redefine our visions for our own families, we receive what we have given with interest!  My prayer is that you would evaluate what it is you can do for those with no family and believe that your well will not run dry.   A big thank you to the adoptive parents that contributed their stories for this newsletter!

A word from our founderBy Anthea Ramirez, Chief Sharer

Adoption-Share Headed to Denver in September! We are looking forward to signing on new pregnancy resource centers to utilize our tool with their clients to explore the adoption option and for our founder Thea Ramirez to lead a workshop on getting past the taboo nature of adoption in order to present it as an option for women confronted with an unintended pregnancy.

Honored to Stay In Touch Shane and Rebecca have had a semi-open adoption plan since December of 2012 when their daughter was born. The terms were that the family would send a letter to the birthmother telling her how their daughter was doing, and they would also include at least five pictures. Shane and Rebecca say that they usually include more. “I do not feel that these terms are an imposition at all. I feel as if it is not enough. I feel as though we should be doing more after she gave us the greatest gift that we could not give ourselves.” says Rebecca. Occasionally the birthmother requests visits, but since that isn’t part of their agreement Shane and Rebecca politely decline. “Sometimes I feel guilty when we do not meet up with her...she has things to keep her busy and the letters and photos seem to suffice most of the time.”

An Unexpected Blessing My husband and I married in 1997. We both already knew that neither of us could conceive because we had both been hoping for children for many years in previous marriages. Fate brought us together with this common bond and a love of animals and so they became our “children". We had many dogs,cats,horses etc and opened a dog boarding

kennel. One day in 2003, long after we had given up hope of becoming parents, a friend of mine walked up to our door holding an 8 week old baby boy and asked us if we would like to adopt him. It was such a miracle because we weren't actively trying to adopt and we weren't signed with an agency or anything. The baby belonged to a woman she was trying to help get back on her feet and she was fostering the baby. We would need to start the process right away, as his birthmothers rights would be terminated soon and he would go into foster care. The birthmother wanted to have a voice in where her son was placed. She was going through some pretty rough times and had been living in a tent in the woods during her pregnancy.

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Continued on page 4

Stories from the Road: Three Journeys; One Path

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Stories from the road... (continued from page 3) Of course, we were overjoyed that God had finally given us the chance to become parents and we started the homestudy process and found an agency to handle the legal. We began visiting our son at our friends house as often as we could and met his birthmother there as well. We promised to give her child a wonderful life and take good care of him. Eight weeks later, he came to live with us forever and 12 weeks after that, the adoption was finalized. We send her pictures and letters so she can see how he is growing and let her what is going on in his life. We are forever grateful to her for making the impossible dream come true for us. Now, ten years later, we ARE signed with an agency and we ARE actively trying to adopt again. We hope the Good Lord sees us fit to parent another blessing. We have a semi open adoption. We share pictures/letters/updates through the agency that did our homestudy. We have also met with our son’s biological grandparents and his biological uncle. We have not had any contact with them in many years though. -Angie

Check out the Adoption-Share video!For testimonies of how Adoption-Share is helping pregnancy centers, adoptive

families, agencies and birthparents, click HERE!

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We had the pleasure of interviewing Lisa Murphy, author of With an Open Heart for our July Facebook Chat.  Lisa is an adoptive mother of three and chronicled the death of her son Daniel, who was adopted as a toddler with a heart condition. Daniel died while receiving corrective surgery.  Lisa hopes her book will be an encouragement to adoptive parents to follow their hearts, lean on their faith, and take a leap even if it means a child needs medical care. Some of the questions asked during the hour long chat included: “We are doing a private domestic adoption with no information about the birth family for our child. How do you cope with some of the unknown health issues that your child possibly could have later in life?”  To which Lisa responded: “It is such a leap of faith, Rebecca. This is true and it is totally scary, I know. My husband and I came down to this...if we had our own child biologically, we would certainly have no guarantees about the health issues of that child. We truly followed our hearts, and I swear that God walked us through it all.”

To view the entire transcript of the chat, click here and be sure to like our Facebook page!

July Facebook Chat Recap!

Stories from the road... (continued from page 3)

On Open Adoption ArrangementsWe decided about a month before the baby was born that our adoption would be open (letters/calls). I am not sure if I would have been so open to this arrangement had I been a first time mom. However, we were blessed with three children prior - so I entered this adoption with a "mommy's heart". Hence I felt for this birth mother and was willing to have an open adoption. However, we weighed how this would effect our family. If we had felt that this would have a negative effect on our family we would not have allowed it to be open. Our post adoption arrangement was a verbal agreement. She wanted us to send a photo and stay in contact every three months until our son was a year old. That to me was an easy things to commit to - our child is

almost one year old and we have fulfilled our promise throughout the year! That was the length of the agreement & I wish we had discussed "after the first year" a little more. I guess we got caught up with the easy request for the first 12 month and did not want to "rock the boat" by talking about the time after that - now I wish we did.In hindsight I think she enjoyed her constant photos throughout the year - I think it allowed her heart to be even more confidant in her choice of placing her baby with us. She gave us a piece of our heart - when she gave us our son - the least we can do is continue to allow her heart to feel at peace - if a photo or letter helps with that peace - that is a small gift we can give. -Kristina

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