Attraction Social Psychology

Attraction and Relationships

Relatively new to social psychology

Psychologists generally only focus on

individuals

Romance and attraction isn’t a ‘scholarly’

thing to study

Relationships have a number of

important health benefits.

Ideal Qualities in a Romantic Partner

1 2 3

Less than me About the same as me More than me

1 Extraversion

2 Conscientiousness

3 Agreeableness

4 Openness

5 Neuroticism

6 Age

7 Height

8 Education

9 Intelligence

10 Good Looks

11 Social Status

12 Spirituality

13 Dominance

Overview What leads to attraction?

Proximity

Mere exposure

Physical attractiveness

Similarity

Matching

Mimicry

Attraction-Proximity

Proximity: We tend to like people

who are closer to us

Festinger et al. (1950s):

friendship patterns in dormitories

Closer friends with people who

lived near

Proximity

Why do you think proximity increases

attraction?

1) More opportunities to meet, interact

2) People are likely to live near people of similar

economic, social backgrounds

3) Mere exposure

Attraction

Mere exposure

Moreland & Beach (1992): women coming into class; the

more they came to class, the more other students liked her

Mere Exposure Effect Mere exposure effect repeated exposure to a stimuli will

eventually lead to finding that stimuli appealing; even if the

stimuli was not initially liked.

Conceptions of attractiveness vary by culture

Examples…. The mere exposure effect can be applied to

many different situations.

For example, you may have heard a song, that at

first you did not like, but after hearing it multiple

times the song grew on you.

Examples….

Relationships are often the

result of the mere exposure

effect. Most people don’t

start dating right away, but

through hanging out they

start to become attracted to

each other.

Preferred Qualities in

Partners (Buss et al., 1986)

Women Men

1) Kind/understanding Kind/understanding

2) Exciting Personality Exciting Personality

3) Intelligent Intelligent

4) Healthy Physically Attractive

5) Easy Going Healthy

6) Physically Attractive Easy Going

Who do you think is friendlier?

Who do you think is more outgoing?

To whom would you be friendlier?

Physical Attraction

“What Is Beautiful Is Good” stereotype People tend to attribute desirable characteristics such

as sociable, friendly, poised, warm,

competent, and well adjusted to

those who are good looking

Attractive children and adults

are judged and treated more

favorably

Implications for career & salary

Card activity

Don’t look at your

card.

Match with the person

with the highest card

who will also agree

to match with you.

Attractiveness

Physical

attractiveness: Hatfield, Berscheid, et al.

(1966):

Randomly matched 752

incoming students as blind

dates for an orientation

dance

MOST IMPORTANT:

physical attractiveness

But… matching effect

Matching Effect People’s perception of their

own physical attractiveness

also plays a role in romantic

love.

The tendency for men and

women to choose as

partners those who are a

"good match" in

attractiveness and other

traits.

Computer Dating Study Physical attractiveness was rated the most important

factor

Intelligence and personality were not related to future

dating

Video

How is

compatibility

calculated?

Scent of Symmetry People tend to find symmetrical

faces more attractive.

In fact, according to numerous

studies by Gangestead and

colleagues, women seem to

think that symmetrical men even

smell better, but only when their

ovulating.

Men did not seem to be able to

pick up symmetry by scent.

Attraction-Similarity What traits did you want to match your partner on?

Similarity A Great deal of evidence shows that we seek similarity

in relationships

Couples tend to be similar in age, race, religion, social class, personality, education, intelligence, physical attractiveness, and attitudes

Personality similarity related to marital happiness.

Similarity

Why do we like people like us?

Why does similarity increase relationship

satisfaction?

Mimicry-Similarity in Behavior

When we want to

belong to a group

or want others to

like us, we mimic

their behavior.

We like people

who mimic our

behavior.

People get more

similar over time

Zajonc et al. (1987)

Dissimilar looking

couples at marriage

look more similar 25

years later.

Happier couple look

more similar

Decades of shared

emotions?

Similarity to Pets

When all else fails…

Ok, so if all else fails—you’ve

moved closer to your crush,

you keep inexplicably keep

running into them (mere

exposure), you try to look as

physically attractive as

possible, you mimic their

behavior—if you’ve done all

these tricks, there’s still one

more you can try…

Misattribution of Arousal

The tendency to

mislabel our feelings of

fear arousal as feelings

of romantic arousal

Take your date

somewhere exciting,

somewhere sure to get

the adrenaline pumping.

Why do you think they

always do this kind of

date on The Bachelor?

Video

Video

Types of Love Social Psychology

Definitions of Love Passionate Love

usually present at the beginning of a love relationship

Involves absorption in another person, sexual desire, tenderness, and intense emotion.

Companionate Love deep affectionate attachment we

feel for those with whom our lives are intertwined

Definitions of Love

Three components (Sternberg, 1986) –

Intimacy, Commitment, Passion

Intimate and Love

Relationships

Intimacy: Intimacy is the

warm, close, sharing aspect

of a relationship.

Not present in all friendships

or romantic relationships

Related to self-disclosure:

revealing intimate aspects of

oneself to others

Maintaining Relationships Social Psychology

Maintaining Relationships Equity Theory

a condition in which people receive from a

relationship in proportion to what they give to it

You get what you give

Maintaining Relationships

Attachment Theory

Some researchers study the influence of childhood

attachment styles on adult relationships.

Many researchers believe that as adults, people relate to

their partners in the same way that they related to their

caretakers in infancy

Secure attachments

Avoidant attachments

Ambivalent attachments

Evolutionary Views on Choosing

Relationship Partners Social Psychology

Evolutionary views on choosing

relationship partners

Facial symmetry can be an indicator of good

health,

Many developmental abnormalities tend to

produce facial asymmetries.

A small waist-to-hip ratio, which produces an

“hourglass” figure,

Indicates high reproductive potential.

Evolutionary views by gender

Women Reproduction is longer and

riskier for women

More selective in choosing a

mate

Tend to value partners’ social

status, wealth, and ambition,

These are characteristics of

men who can successfully

provide for offspring.

Evolutionary views by gender

Men

Reproduction is quick and

easy for men

Tend to be more interested in

their partners’ youthfulness

and physical attractiveness.

These characteristics indicate

that women will be able to

reproduce successfully