Asylumby Dennis Bush

A One Act Drama

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ASYLUM By Dennis Bush

Copyright © 2007 by Dennis Bush, All rights reserved. ISBN: 1-60003-271-0 CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that this Work is subject to a royalty. This Work is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America and all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations, whether through bilateral or multilateral treaties or otherwise, and including, but not limited to, all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention, the Universal Copyright Convention and the Berne Convention. RIGHTS RESERVED: All rights to this Work are strictly reserved, including professional and amateur stage performance rights. Also reserved are: motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video or sound recording, all forms of mechanical or electronic reproduction, such as CD-ROM, CD-I, DVD, information and storage retrieval systems and photocopying, and the rights of translation into non-English languages. PERFORMANCE RIGHTS AND ROYALTY PAYMENTS: All amateur and stock performance rights to this Work are controlled exclusively by Brooklyn Publishers, LLC. No amateur or stock production groups or individuals may perform this play without securing license and royalty arrangements in advance from Brooklyn Publishers, LLC. Questions concerning other rights should be addressed to Brooklyn Publishers, LLC. Royalty fees are subject to change without notice. Professional and stock fees will be set upon application in accordance with your producing circumstances. Any licensing requests and inquiries relating to amateur and stock (professional) performance rights should be addressed to Brooklyn Publishers, LLC. Royalty of the required amount must be paid, whether the play is presented for charity or profit and whether or not admission is charged. AUTHOR CREDIT: All groups or individuals receiving permission to produce this play must give the author(s) credit in any and all advertisement and publicity relating to the production of this play. The author’s billing must appear directly below the title on a separate line where no other written matter appears. The name of the author(s) must be at least 50% as large as the title of the play. No person or entity may receive larger or more prominent credit than that which is given to the author(s). PUBLISHER CREDIT: Whenever this play is produced, all programs, advertisements, flyers or other printed material must include the following notice: Produced by special arrangement with Brooklyn Publishers, LLC COPYING: Any unauthorized copying of this Work or excerpts from this Work is strictly forbidden by law. No part of this Work may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, by any means now known or yet to be invented, including photocopying or scanning, without prior permission from Brooklyn Publishers, LLC.

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CHARACTERS

TRACY: female, 23; former pop music star KEVIN: male, 20; dessert-obsessed; is distrustful of nursing staff DINAH: female, 21; was raped by her best friend’s boyfriend GEOFFREY: male, 18; extremely bright; fascinated by how things work JANINE: female, 22; believes she is in the 11th month of a pregnancy LAURIE: female, 21; was driving the car, when an accident killed two of

her friends and an acquaintance AUGUST: female, 20, named for the month in which she was conceived;

agoraphobic TIM: male, 17; a lost boy, in more ways than one With the exception of TIM, the characters’ ages are fairly flexible. If younger actors are performing the play, the characters’ ages should ideally be close to those listed above. If older actors are cast, the characters’ ages should be closer to their ages. In the New York production in May and June, 2007, the characters ages were: Tracy, 27; Kevin, 32; Dinah, 21; Geoffrey, 26; Janine, 35; Laurie, 23; August, 27; Tim, 17. There is also gender flexibility with some of the characters.

PROP LIST

“Barbie” doll with red hair for Kevin

COSTUMES

ASYLUM may be performed with basic setting and costume elements to suggest the characters. Directors are encouraged to be creative when staging the play.

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PRODUCTION HISTORY

ASYLUM was first performed in January 2007. The original cast included Nadine Lombardi (August), Kelsey Torstveit (Janine), Scott McKown (Kevin), Emily White (Tracy), Alex Knerr (Tim), Macy Cobb (Dinah), Samantha Ortiz (Laurie) and Jared Sikes (Geoffrey). The production was directed by the author. ASYLUM had its premiere New York production in May and June, 2007. The production was directed by Lester Thomas Shane and the cast included Jenny Wales (Tracy), Krystal Blackman (Dinah), Ricky Johnston (Kevin), Tommy Buck (Geoffrey), Kiki Bertocci (Janine), Kathryn Procko (Laurie), Natalie Johnson (August) and Randy Blair (Tim). Understudies/Director’s Assistants were Jean-Pierre Ferragamo and Jennifer Fouché. The premiere New York production was named one of the Top Ten plays in the Wonderland One-Act Play Festival in New York City and the actors received the festival award for Best Ensemble Cast.

DIRECTORS NOTES:

Asylum can be presented with a very simple set. There are no special costume requirements. Directors are encouraged to be creative with casting, role assignments and staging.

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ASYLUM by

Dennis Bush

AT RISE: AUGUST, KEVIN, JANINE, GEOFFREY, LAURIE, DINAH and TRACY all begin to speak simultaneously and with equal volume, as TIM sits quietly, crying. While each character speaks with simple clarity and purpose, the overall effect should be a cacophonous babble. AUGUST: My roommate is dead. On Monday night, I heard a thud in her

room. It was loud. (quick pause) A loud thud. I’m not sure what happened. Her door was shut. I didn’t open it. I respect her privacy. I was sitting on the sofa when I heard the thud. I asked if anything was wrong. She didn’t answer. Not a word. She’s quiet, though. (quick pause) Very shy. So I didn’t ask her, again. I didn’t want to be a pest. I waited to see if there was another thud. She could have been moving things around in her room and made a thud when a piece of furniture slipped out of her hands. It happens. People drop furniture. It makes a thud. After about five minutes, I heard a voice say, “Help!” – kind of whispered or like it was a strain to say it. It could have been a voice on the TV. I couldn’t be sure. (insistent) Her door was shut. (more insistent) And I wasn’t going to open it. (even more insistent) And I wasn’t going to call 9-1-1. I don’t make outgoing calls. And I screen incoming calls. I order my groceries on the Internet. They deliver. I slide a note under the door so they know to knock three times, then, bring them inside and get the money. I leave it on the table. I run to the bathroom, when they knock. I can’t be in the living room or kitchen if the front door is open. So, I couldn’t call 9-1-1. They’d bust down the door. It would be open. (quick, horrified pause) Wide open. The 9-1-1 people can’t be trusted to wait until I get in the bathroom and shut the door before they bust the front door open. They can’t be trusted. They like to ride around with their lights flashing and the siren going. People like that can’t be trusted for a minute. And, anyway, I didn’t hear anyone say, “Help,” again. So, I didn’t have to worry about calling anybody.

KEVIN: I hate the nurse with the red hair -- the young one who works the day shift. I hate her. She slapped me, yesterday -- backhanded me right across the face. Across the face! All said was, “I don’t want

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to take the damn pill.” That was all I said. Really. And she hit me. I almost bit her hand. If I’d have been quicker, I’d have gotten a couple of her fingers in my mouth when she slapped me. Next time, I’ll be ready. I’ll leave teeth marks on her hand. I’ve been practicing. It’s kind of practicing and kind of an alternative form of revenge. (HE pulls out a red-haired Barbie doll.) It’s a voodoo doll. (Shows it, then, pauses.) She used her hand to hurt me, so I’ll use the voodoo to hurt her. (HE bites the Barbie’s hand.) In my book about voodoo, it said to use a needle but I can’t find any. I had one. I stole it from arts and crafts when we were stringing beads for friendship necklaces. But the nurse found it and took it away. (quick pause, to clarify) Not the nurse with the red hair. The other one. The one who wears too much eye shadow. I don’t like her either. I don’t like any of the nurses. I don’t. I hate ‘em. I hate ‘em all. (quick pause) Except the one who gave me the extra cake, last week. I like her. I like her a lot. I like cake. I like cake a lot. I want cake, now. I want cake! (shouted) CAKE. BAKE. TAKE. (quick pause) TAKE. CAKE. I want cake! I want cake! I want cake!

JANINE: My boss doesn’t wash his hands after he uses the restroom. (quick pause; firmly) That’s not speculation. It’s a fact. I’ve had my suspicions about him for a while. (quick pause) I’ve suspected. I’ve presumed. My office is directly across from the men’s room. I can hear what goes on in there. I can tell when there’s water running. I can hear when someone uses the hand dryer. And my boss never runs water and never uses the hand dryer. And I’ve never seen him use hand sanitizer. The other day, he came out of the restroom and reached right into the candy jar on my desk. He dug his hands way down into the M&Ms. His unwashed, undried, UNCLEAN hands and he looked at me and said, “Mmmmm.” And it wasn’t the first time he’s done it. He’s violated my candy jar too many times to count. And, every time, I throw away the candy. I’m not going to have unclean candy sitting on my desk. That’s how it happened, you know. (explaining) The pregnancy. (clarifying) Not from the unclean candy. No. It was an immaculate conception. He didn’t touch me. But he had unclean thoughts about me and I became pregnant. Eleven months ago. That’s when it

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happened. I’ve been carrying the baby eleven months. It’s due any day, now. Eleven months is a long time to be pregnant. Babies are supposed to come out after ten months, you know. Some people will tell you that it’s nine months but they lie. They lie about washing their hands and they lie about liking your dress and they lie about how long you’re supposed to be pregnant before the baby comes out. It’s coming any day, now. (pause) I hope it’s a baby that comes out and not a giant M&M.

GEOFFREY: Am I the only person who’s disturbed by Ballpark Franks? I don’t like the idea of hot dogs that plump when I cook ‘em. I don’t want any food that plumps. What’s to keep it from continuing to plump after you eat it? If they put a chemical inside the plumping food to make it plump, does it get deactivated by saliva? Or stomach acid? When does it deflate? There has to be something that makes it un-plump, or else everyone who’d ever eaten a Ballpark Frank would be walking around like a balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. And, eventually, our skin would snap and all the stuffing would fly out all over the place, like when you pop a zit and it spatters on the mirror. Stuffing is interesting. It’s fascinating. Stuffed chicken breasts. . . pasta shells stuffed with cheese. . . flounder stuffed with crab meat. . . stuffed mushrooms. . . stuffed animals. I had a stuffed animal that I used to sleep with. (quick pause) When I was really little. Not recently. Not in years. (correction) Maybe just one time since I was little, but it’s because I’d had a very bad day and I needed some snuggle-love. (quick pause) Yes, that’s a word. Snuggle-love is a word. (Getting back on track) My sister has a bunch of stuffed teddy bears. I think all teddy bears are stuffed. I don’t think there are actual bears in the wilderness called teddy bears. I think what makes a teddy bear a teddy bear is that it’s a stuffed animal bear. The stuffing was red, so it looked like blood. I thought that was very appropriate. (quick pause) Wait a minute. I’m getting ahead of myself. See, I always wanted to be a surgeon. I used to do operations on my sister’s teddy bears. It was the first one that I cut into, that had the red stuffing. Most of the other ones were brown or light blue. Frankly, all the other colors were a let down – a disappointment – after the red stuffing.

LAURIE: We were driving along and everything was fine. I was driving. Carolyn and Marcy –they’re my friends – were with me. Carolyn was in the front seat and Marcy was in the back seat behind me. Marcy’s friend, Michelle was sitting behind Carolyn. We were driving along

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and talking. We weren’t doing anything crazy. I wasn’t driving recklessly. It was raining, so I was being extra safe. I’m a good driver. I’m a very good driver. So, we were driving along and Carolyn was putting on some lip gloss and Michelle started screaming. “I’m allergic to strawberries!” And Carolyn was like, “It’s lip gloss. It’s strawberry lip gloss. It’s not like I’m smearing strawberries all over my face.” But Michelle kept screaming, “I’m allergic to strawberries. I am ALLERGIC to STRAWBERRIES!” The windshield wipers were going back and forth and Michelle was screaming and Carolyn was trying to calm her down and Marcy was growling. (quick pause) Growling like a dog. And I was like, “Shut up.” It started raining harder. Michelle was hyperventilating in the back seat. I looked in my rearview mirror to make sure she wasn’t passing out or anything. And we started sliding off the road. (Explaining) The car hydroplaned. . . Hydro. Plane. It sounds like it oughta be a plane that lands on water. The ones that have pontoons. Pon – toons. Like pons set to music. Pon-TOONS. What was I saying? Pontoons. . . (tracing her through-line backwards) Hydroplanes. . . The car hydroplaned. We hit a telephone pole and spun around. That’s what they said. (Clarifying) The people in the car behind us. I don’t remember what happened. I blacked out. When I woke up, I was laying in a puddle. I was all wet. I don’t like being in wet clothes. They didn’t wake up. Carolyn, Marcy and Michelle. They didn’t wake up. We were all wearing our seat belts, but mine popped open and I flew out of the car. I was ejected. Ejected. I was ejected but they weren’t. They got crushed. Plus, Carolyn got kind of impaled by a mile marker.

DINAH: I said, “No.” No, I didn’t want him to take me home. I was tired and I had a headache. That’s all. I wasn’t dizzy or anything. Just a headache. It wasn’t even a migraine. It was just a headache. But he insisted. He was insistent. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. Jason was like that. He always got his way with Melanie. She’s my best friend and Jason’s her boyfriend. It’s usually the girl who can get her way with a guy, but Jason always got his way. He was insistent. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. So, finally, I said, “OK, you can take me home.” He’d been to my apartment a hundred times with Melanie, so he knew the way. But

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instead of going the way I would have, he went a roundabout kind of way that made no sense. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to get into an argument about who knew the best way to get to my apartment. I had a headache. Nobody wants to get into an argument when they have a headache. And, besides, it’s not a good idea to get into an argument with your best friend’s boyfriend. So, I didn’t say anything. When he pulled into the parking lot at my apartment complex, he said, “I’ll walk you up to your apartment.” I told him he didn’t have to. He said he wanted to be a gentleman. I said, “No. . . No, thank you. Really. You don’t have to. I don’t need an escort to my apartment. I’m a big girl.” But he insisted. He was insistent. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. So, he opened the car door for me and helped me out of the car like we were on some kind of date and he took my arm and walked me to my apartment. I got my keys out of my purse and he took them out of my hand and started to unlock the door for me. “NO!” I said. “I can do it. I can unlock the door. I don’t need your help.” Before I was finished telling him I could do it myself, he’d unlocked the door and we were inside. (SHE begins to cry) And he was insistent. He wouldn’t take no for an answer.

TRACY: My fans love me. They send me flowers and presents and pictures of themselves and their pets. On my last tour, we sold out stadiums – giant, outdoor stadiums – in ten different cities in less than four hours. It was some kind of Ticketmaster record. And everywhere I go people are always calling my name and photographers are stalking me. I love my fans but I hate the paparazzi. They invade my personal space. A photograph of me in torn sweatpants and a tank top with a mustard stain got sold to one of the tabloids for two million dollars. Think how much good that money could have done for the world. Starving people could have been fed. Sick people could have gotten medication. Children with crooked teeth could have gotten braces. One smile at a time. That’s how to change the world. Hundreds of my fans have named their children after me and not just girls. There are dozens of little boys named Tracy running around out there in the world. Another hundred or so have named their pets after me. My fans send me pictures of their pets and on the back they write, “This is my cat Tracy, and she loves you. Tracy loves Tracy.” Sometimes they’re dogs, not cats. There have even been

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some birds, hamsters, ferrets, turtles and snakes named Tracy. All those Tracys love Tracy, too. My fans love me. They love me. My fan club has an official website for me and my music and it gets thousands of hits every day. People from all over the world visit my website. I’m not just a star in the United States. I’m an international star. I have fans all over the world. I’m an international star with fans all over the world. And they love me. My fans all over the world love me. They send me flowers and presents and pictures of themselves and their pets. On my last tour, we sold out stadiums – giant, outdoor stadiums – in ten different cities in less than four hours. And everywhere I go, people are always calling my name.

(As AUGUST, KEVIN, JANINE, GEOFFREY, LAURIE, DINAH and TRACY finish speaking simultaneously, the focus shifts to TIM) TIM: (wipes tears away; begins to speak; simply, trying to be clear)

I’ve got to get back. . . back home. . . I’ve got to get back home (quick pause) If I can just get back home, then, I’ll be fine. . . Everything will be fine. . . if I can get back home. . . If I can just get back home. . . (His tears resume.) (Hopeful, through tears) Do you know where my house is? (quick pause) If I tell you my address, can you tell me where my house is? It’s green. My house. It's a pink shade of green. And there’s a tree in front of it. It’s a big tree with blue branches and purple flowers that are kind of orange-colored. I’ve got to get back. . . I’ve got to get back home. (HE is sobbing.) I have to get back home. Can you help me find my house? Can you please help me find my house? I’ve got to get back home. (During the next segment, there is the illusion of conversation and communication, but at no point should any of the characters actually speak to each other. Their thoughts have a connectedness, but the characters are not connecting with each other.)

KEVIN: I hate the nurse with the red hair -- the young one who works the day shift. I hate her. She slapped me, yesterday -- backhanded me right across the face. Across the face! All I said was, “I don’t want to take the damn pill.” That was all I said. Really. And she hit me. I almost bit her hand. If I’d have been quicker, I’d have gotten a couple of her

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fingers in my mouth when she slapped me. Next time, I’ll be ready. I’ll leave teeth marks on her hand.

DINAH: I said, “No.” No, I didn’t want him to take me home. I had a headache. That’s all. I wasn’t dizzy or anything. Just a headache. It wasn’t even a migraine. It was just a headache.

But he insisted. He was insistent. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. Jason was like that. He always got his way with Melanie. She’s my best friend and Jason’s her boyfriend. It’s usually the girl who can get her way with a guy but Jason always got his way. He was insistent. He wouldn’t take no for an answer.

JANINE:: My boss doesn’t wash his hands after he uses the restroom. (quick pause; firmly) That’s not speculation. It’s a fact. I’ve had my suspicions about him for a while. (quick pause) I’ve suspected. I’ve presumed. My office is directly across from the men’s room. I can hear what goes on in there. I can tell when there’s water running. I can hear when someone uses the hand dryer. And my boss never runs water and never uses the hand dryer. And I’ve never seen him use hand sanitizer. The other day, he came out of the restroom and reached right into the candy jar on my desk. He dug his hands way down into the M&Ms. His unwashed, undried, UNCLEAN hands and he looked at me and said, “Mmmmm.”

GEOFFREY Am I the only person who’s disturbed by Ballpark Franks? I don’t like the idea of hot dogs that plump when I cook ‘em. I don’t want any food that plumps. What’s to keep it from continuing to plump after you eat it? If they put a chemical inside the plumping food to make it plump, does it get deactivated by saliva? Or stomach acid? When does it deflate? There has to be something that makes it un-plump, or else everyone who’s ever eaten a Ballpark Frank would be walking around like a balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. And, eventually, our skin would snap and all the stuffing would fly out all over the place like when you pop a zit and it splatters on the mirror. Stuffing is interesting. It’s fascinating. Stuffed chicken breasts. . . pasta shells stuffed with cheese. . . flounder stuffed with crab meat. . . stuffed mushrooms. . . stuffed animals.

LAURIE: We were driving along and everything was fine. I was driving. Carolyn and Marcy –they’re my friends – were with me. Carolyn was in the front seat and Marcy was in the back seat behind me. Marcy’s friend, Michelle was sitting behind Carolyn. We were driving along and talking. We weren’t doing anything crazy. I wasn’t driving recklessly. It was raining, so I was being extra safe. I’m a good driver. I’m a very good driver. So, we were driving along and Carolyn was putting on some lip gloss and Michelle started screaming. “I’m allergic to strawberries!” And

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Carolyn was like, “It’s lip gloss. It’s strawberry lip gloss. It’s not like I’m smearing strawberries all over my face.” But Michelle kept screaming, “I’m allergic to strawberries. I am ALLERGIC to STRAWBERRIES!”

AUGUST My roommate is dead. On Monday night, I heard a thud in her room. It was loud. (quick pause) A loud thud. I’m not sure what happened. Her door was shut. I didn’t open it. I respect her privacy. I was sitting on the sofa when I heard the thud. I asked if anything was wrong. She didn’t answer. Not a word. She’s quiet, though. (quick pause) Very shy. So I didn’t ask her, again. I didn’t want to be a pest.

TRACY My fans love me. They send me flowers and presents and pictures of themselves and their pets. On my last tour, we sold out stadiums – giant, outdoor stadiums – in ten different cities in less than four hours. It was some kind of Ticketmaster record. And every where I go people are always calling my name and photographers are stalking me. I love my fans but I hate the paparazzi. They invade my personal space. A photograph of me in torn sweatpants and a tank top with a mustard stain got sold to one of the tabloids for two million dollars. Think how much good that money could have done for the world. Starving people could have been fed. Sick people could have gotten medication. Children with crooked teeth could have gotten braces. One smile at a time. That’s how to change the world.

DINAH: So, finally, I said, “OK, you can take me home. He’d been to my apartment a hundred times with Melanie, so he knew the way. But instead of going the way I would have, he went a roundabout kind of way that made no sense. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to get into an argument about who knew the best way to get to my apartment. I had a headache. Nobody wants to get into an argument when they have a headache. And, besides, it’s not a good idea to get into an argument with your best friend’s boyfriend. So, I didn’t say anything.

When he pulled into the parking lot at my apartment complex, he said, “I’ll walk you up to your apartment.” I told him he didn’t have to. He said he wanted to be a gentleman. I said, “No. . . No, thank you. Really. You don’t have to. I don’t need an escort to my apartment. I’m a big girl.” But he insisted. He was insistent. He wouldn’t take no for an answer.

JANINE: And it wasn’t the first time he’s done it. He’s violated my candy jar too many times to count. And, every time, I throw away the candy. I’m not going to have unclean candy sitting on my desk.

That’s how it happened, you know. (explaining) The pregnancy.

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(clarifying) Not from the unclean candy. No. It was an immaculate conception. He didn’t touch me. But he had unclean thoughts about me and I became pregnant. Eleven months ago. That’s when it happened.

AUGUST: I waited to see if there was another thud. She could have been moving things around in her room and made a thud when a piece of furniture slipped out of her hands. It happens. People drop furniture. It makes a thud. After about five minutes, I heard a voice say, “Help!” – kind of whispered or like it was a strain to say it. It could have been a voice on the TV. I couldn’t be sure. (insistent) Her door was shut. (more insistent) And I wasn’t going to open it. (even more insistent)And I wasn’t going to call 9-1-1. I don’t make outgoing calls. And I screen incoming calls. I order my groceries on the Internet. They deliver. I slide a note under the door so they know to knock three times, then, bring them inside and get the money. I leave it on the table. I run to the bathroom, when they knock. I can’t be in the living room or kitchen if the front door is open.

KEVIN: I’ve been practicing. It’s kind of practicing and kind of an alternative form of revenge. (HE pulls out a red-haired Barbie doll.) It’s a voodoo doll. (Shows it, then, pauses.) She used her hand to hurt me, so I’ll use the voodoo to hurt her. (HE bites the Barbie’s hand.)

LAURIE: The windshield wipers were going back and forth and Michelle was screaming and Carolyn was trying to calm her down and Marcy was growling. (quick pause) Growling like a dog. And I was like, “Shut up.”

KEVIN: In my book about voodoo, it said to use a needle but I can’t find any. I had one. I stole it from arts and crafts when we were stringing beads for friendship necklaces. But the nurse found it and took it away. (quick pause, to clarify) Not the nurse with the red hair. The other one. The one who wears too much eye shadow. I don’t like her either.

LAURIE: It started raining harder. Michelle was hyperventilating in the back seat. I looked in my rearview mirror to make sure she wasn’t passing out or anything. And we started sliding off the road. (Explaining) The car hydroplaned.

GEOFFREY: I had a stuffed animal that I used to sleep with. (quick pause) When I was really little. Not recently. Not in years. (correction) Maybe just one time since I was little, but it’s because I’d had a very bad day and I needed some snuggle-love. Yes, that’s a word. Snuggle-love is a word!

TRACY: Hundreds of my fans have named their children after me and not just girls. There are dozens of little boys named Tracy running around out there in the world. Another hundred or so have named

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their pets after me. My fans send me pictures of their pets and on the back they write, “This is my cat Tracy and she loves you. Tracy loves Tracy.” Sometimes they’re dogs, not cats. There have even been some birds, hamsters, ferrets, turtles and snakes named Tracy. All those Tracys love Tracy, too.

GEOFFREY: (Getting back on track) My sister has a bunch of stuffed teddy bears. I think all teddy bears are stuffed. I don’t think there are actual bears in the wilderness called teddy bears. I think what makes a teddy bear a teddy bear is that it’s a stuffed animal bear. The stuffing was red, so it looked like blood. I thought that was very appropriate. (quick pause) Wait a minute. I’m getting ahead of myself. See, I always wanted to be a surgeon. I used to do operations on my sister’s teddy bears. It was the first one that I cut into that had the red stuffing. Most of the other ones were brown or light blue. Frankly, all the other colors were a let down – a disappointment – after the red stuffing.

AUGUST: So, I couldn’t call 9-1-1. They’d bust down the door. It would be open. (quick, horrified pause) Wide open. The 9-1-1 people can’t be trusted to wait until I get in the bathroom and shut the door before they bust the front door open. They can’t be trusted. They like to ride around with their lights flashing and the siren going. People like that can’t be trusted for a minute. And, anyway, I didn’t hear, “Help,” again. So, I didn’t have to worry about calling anyone.

KEVIN: I don’t like any of the nurses. I don’t. I hate ‘em. I hate ‘em all. (quick pause) Except the one who gave me the extra cake, last week. I like her. I like her a lot.

I like cake. I like cake a lot. I want cake, now. I want cake! (shouted) CAKE. BAKE. TAKE! (quick pause) TAKE CAKE. I want cake! I want cake! I want cake!

JANINE: I’ve been carrying the baby eleven months. It’s due any day, now. Eleven months is a long time to be pregnant. Babies are supposed to come out after ten months, you know. Some people will tell you that it’s nine months but they lie. They lie about washing their hands and they lie about liking your dress and they lie about how long you’re supposed to be pregnant before the baby comes out.

LAURIE: Hydro. Plane. It sounds like it oughta be a plane that lands on water. The ones that have pontoons. Pon – toons. Like pons set to music. Pon-TOONS. . . What was I saying? Pontoons. . . (tracing her through-line backwards)Hydroplanes. . . The car hydroplaned. We hit a telephone pole and spun around.

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JANINE: It’s coming any day, now. (pause) I hope it’s a baby that comes out and not a giant M&M.

LAURIE: That’s what they said. (Clarifying) The people in the car behind us. I don’t remember what happened. I blacked out. When I woke up, I was laying in a puddle. I was all wet. I don’t like being in wet clothes.

DINAH: But he insisted. He was insistent. He wouldn’t take no for an answer.

LAURIE: They didn’t wake up. Carolyn, Marcy and Michelle. They didn’t

wake up. We were all wearing our seat belts but mine popped open and I flew out of the car. I was ejected. Ejected. I was ejected but they weren’t. They got crushed. Plus Carolyn got kind of impaled by a mile marker.

DINAH: So, he opened the car door for me and helped me out of the car like we were on some kind of date and he took my arm and walked me to my apartment. I got my keys out of my purse and he took them out of my hand and started to unlock the door for me. “NO!” I said. “I can do it. I can unlock the door. I don’t need your help.” Before I was finished telling him I could do it myself, he’d unlocked the door and we were inside. (SHE begins to cry) And he was insistent. He wouldn’t take no for an answer.

KEVIN: DOOR. FLOOR. SCORE. WHORE TRACY

My fans love me. They love me. My fan club has an official website for me and my music and it gets thousands of hits every day. People from all over the world visit my website. I’m not just a star in the United States. I’m an international star. I have fans all over the world. I’m an international star with fans all over the world. And they love me. My fans all over the world love me. They send me flowers and presents and pictures of themselves and their pets. On my last tour, we sold out stadiums – giant, outdoor stadiums – in ten different cities in less than four hours. And everywhere I go, people are always calling my name.

ALL: (except TRACY; whispered in unison) Tracy. Tracy. Tracy. Tracy. TRACY: My fans love me. They send me flowers and presents and

pictures of themselves and their pets. On my last tour, we sold out stadiums – giant, outdoor stadiums – in ten different cities in less than four hours. It was some kind of Ticketmaster record.

ALL: (except TRACY; whispered in unison) Marsha. Marsha. Marsha. TRACY: Do you hear that? (quick pause) My name isn’t Marsha. ALL: (except TRACY; whispered in unison) Someone’s name is

Marsha. TRACY: (agitated) We sold out stadiums in ten different cities in less

than four hours.

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ALL: (except TRACY; voiced) So what? Big deal? Who cares? TRACY: (even more agitated) My fans love me. They send me flowers

and presents and pictures of themselves and their pets. ALL: (except TRACY; voiced and sounded) Here, kitty, kitty. Sit, Fido,

sit! Roll over. Roll over. Arrrrf. Arrrrf. Meow. TRACY: (coming unglued) They love me. My fans love me. AUGUST, KEVIN, DINAH: We love you. GEOFFREY, LAURIE, JANINE, TIM: Today. AUGUST, KEVIN, DINAH: We love you. GEOFFREY, LAURIE, JANINE, TIM: Today. AUGUST, KEVIN, DINAH: We really love you. GEOFFREY, LAURIE, JANINE, TIM: Until someone better comes along. AUGUST, KEVIN, DINAH: (with increasing volume) Tracy. Tracy.

Tracy. Tracy! GEOFFREY, LAURIE, JANINE, TIM: (with increasing volume)

Marsha. Marsha. Marsha. Marsha. TRACY: (with increasing hysteria) Tracy! Tracy! TRACY! TRACY!!! ALL: (except TRACY) Who? TIM: “Who are you?” That’s what I asked her. “Who are you?”

She was holding my hand and we were walking really fast. She was pretty much dragging me. Her legs were a lot longer. Four-year-olds don’t have long legs. “Call me Mommy.” She said it like an order. Like “Call me Mommy, or else!” “Are you my mother?” I know that’s a Dr. Seuss book but it’s what I asked her. “Are you my mother?” “I am, now,” she told me. I remember being confused. I had a mother. She’s who took me to the beach. I remember. I had sand in between my toes. (confirming) I remember. I had sand all over my arms and legs. (more intensely) I remember. I had sand in my butt. (quick pause) And I smelled like the ocean. (quick pause) Ocean smells different than swimming pool. And my mom – the mom who took me to the beach – said she had to go to the bathroom and I was supposed to stand outside the ladies’ bathroom and not move. That’s what I did. I didn’t move. Somebody moved me. She grabbed my hand and pulled me along behind her. (clarifying, almost desperately) I didn’t move. She moved me. Her car was black on the outside and white on the inside. (quick pause) Like an Oreo. I’d never seen a car that was black on the outside and white on the inside before. I liked it. She said we were going for a long ride, so it was good that I liked the car. And she opened up her purse and pulled out a plastic bag full of Oreos. She had Oreos in her Oreo car! I ate them all. There were 17. I remember. I ate 17 Oreos in the Oreo car. I’m 17 now, but when I ate the 17 Oreos in the Oreo car, I was only 4.We drove all the way to Las Vegas. When we got there it was nighttime and all the lights were on. It was cool. She told me my name was Tim. Before the beach, my name was George. George is a curious monkey, not a boy. I liked Tim better. And I met my new

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dad. He was nice. My before-the-beach dad wasn’t so nice. He farted a lot. That’s not what made him not nice. But, I remember. He farted a lot. They made my hair brown. Before the beach, my hair was blonde but my new mom and dad made it brown like theirs. My hair grows brown all by itself, now. I lived with my mom and dad for seven years. I liked it. I liked it so much. I was happy every day. After a while, I didn’t even remember what my life was like before the beach. And, then, one day when I was 11, a black and white car took me away. This one had lights and a siren and they came to our house to get me. My dad shot his gun at them. They didn’t like that. And they took me away in the black and white car with the red flashing light. They didn’t have any Oreos. I fell asleep. I must have been asleep along time. I don’t remember. I can’t remember what happens while I’m asleep because I’m asleep. When I woke up, the people were calling me George. I told them, “My name is Tim, but they said, “NO! Your name is George. There never was any Tim. Tim doesn’t exist.” And I was confused. How could there be no Tim and how could Tim not exist if I was Tim? I am Tim. They told me I was different and that I had to try to fit back in. And they kept calling me George. I hated that. I hated them. I was unhappy every day. I ran away like ten times, but they always found me. I hated them for finding me. (listing his adventures) I got arrested for shoplifting. I did some drugs and stuff. I tried to kill myself twice. I set the garage on fire. (quick pause) It was an accident. I know the difference between on-purpose and an accident and it was an accident. They didn’t believe me. They didn’t know me so how could they believe me. They got a doctor and a lawyer to get me locked up in here. I hate it. (tears begin) It makes me scared. (more tears) I’ve got to. . . I’ve got to. . . I’ve got to get back home.

AUGUST

I pretended I wasn’t home. When the neighbors started knocking on the door, I just pretended I wasn’t home. When my roommate’s boyfriend kept calling – I recognized his special ring tone on her cell phone – I didn’t answer. He called five or six times a day but he didn’t come over in person to see why she wasn’t answering. I don’t think that reflects well on his level of commitment to her. If my roommate wasn’t dead, I’d be sure to point that out to her.

LAURIE:

They kept calling my house. Carolyn’s mother wanted to know what we were talking about just before the accident. She said it would give her peace of mind to know. Somehow, I don’t think knowing that your

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daughter was arguing about her strawberry lip gloss would help her mom’s emotional state. Marcy’s dad called and left these really harsh voicemails saying that he hoped I felt guilty about what I’d done because I got to go on living and his daughter was dead. I did. I felt guilt. I feel guilty. Michelle’s family called, too. They weren’t nice. They were even worse than Marcy’s dad. They sent me letters and packages. One box was full of Hot Wheels cars that had been smashed and mangled and there were a dozen index cards mixed in with the cars. The cards said, “Killer.” All of ‘em. Every one. “Killer.” I am not a killer. I didn’t make it rain. I didn’t make the car hydroplane. And I didn’t throw a fit about anybody’s strawberry lip gloss. It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. It is not my fault! But they didn’t understand. They wouldn’t stop. They sent me the obituaries from the newspaper and the little memorial things they give you at funerals. At first, it was just the obituaries for Carolyn, Marcy and Michelle and the little programs from their funeral services, but they didn’t stop. They sent me obituaries for people I didn’t even know. And boxes and boxes of smashed and mangled Hot Wheels. “Killer.” (pause) Killer... Killer. Sometimes, when you say, “Killer,” it sounds like, “Kill her.” I couldn’t drive, again, for a couple weeks. I was too scared to get behind the wheel. Well, that and there wasn’t a wheel for me to get behind. The car in the accident was totaled. No surprise, there. (quick pause) When the check from the insurance company came, I went out and bought another car. A new one. Bright red. It’s beautiful. The car stayed parked in the driveway for three days. And, then, it was time. (clarifying) It was time to drive. It was after midnight. There was something comforting about the darkness. So, I drove. . . I drove over to Michelle’s family’s house and I heaved the smashed Hot Wheels through their windows and I spray painted “Killer” on their lawn. Some little nine-year-old girl who lives across the street called the police. (losing control of her anger) She should have been in bed, asleep, not doing neighborhood surveillance. (pause, transition) I don’t know how she saw me. I’m invisible. (pause, transition) It’s her fault I’m in here. She should have been asleep. She really should have been asleep.

(The parallels between DINAH and KEVIN should not be exaggerated. KEVIN is talking about cookies. There is no hidden subtext.) DINAH

I just wanted to go to sleep. I was tired and I had a headache and I just wanted to go to sleep. When I have a headache, a nap or a good night’s sleep makes it go away. I don’t like to take pills – not even

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aspirin. Sleep does the trick. Sleep makes it all better.

KEVIN: A cookie makes it all better. I want a cookie. DINAH: But Jason didn’t want to leave. KEVIN: But no milk. Never milk. DINAH: And he grabbed my wrist. And he said. . . KEVIN: I want a cookie. DINAH: (imitating Jason) “You know what I want.” KEVIN: (more insistently) I want a cookie!” DINAH: And I said, “No, I don’t. I don’t know what you want.” KEVIN: (shouting) I WANT A COOKIE! DINAH: He wouldn’t say it. . . He didn’t say anything. He just did it. And

the whole time I was saying, “No!” I was screaming it. “NO! STOP!” but he didn’t listen. His mouth was open like he was going to say something. Maybe he’s a mouth breather. But, anyway, his mouth was open and he drooled. On me. And, then, he started mumbling to himself. I couldn’t really understand what he was saying. It was like I was outside of my body looking down at myself and, from that position, I couldn’t see his face. I just heard the mumbling.

KEVIN I dip my cookies in Diet Pepsi. They’re good that way. They’re

way better that way than if you dip ‘em in milk. No milk. Never milk. Always Diet Pepsi. I dip my cookies in Diet Pepsi. They’re good that way. (quick pause) Don’t disrespect the Diet Pepsi. Don’t do it. Don’t disrespect the Diet Pepsi. Never. Never do that. Cookies dipped in Diet Pepsi rocks. (more insistent) It rocks! I’m gonna get a whole plate full of cookies and a giant glass of Diet Pepsi and I’m gonna have a party. I’m gonna have a party and you can’t stop me. You can’t do anything about it.

DINAH: I was outside my body and I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t. KEVIN: (grabs Barbie doll; demanding) I want cookies! I want a whole plate full of cookies! I want cookies! DINAH:

I felt like I’d been run over by a big truck. (quick pause) Except my head. (clarifying) My headache was gone. (almost cheerfully) And without a nap or a good night’s sleep. (transition) I just lay on the floor for hours, staring up at the ceiling. I think I was able to levitate a few inches off the ground. It was like my body just lifted up and floated all by itself. I knew I had to tell Melanie what happened. . . what Jason did. We’ve been friends – best friends – since. . . since forever. I knew it was going to upset her. She’d be so worried about me and would feel so guilty that it was her boyfriend who did it.

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The numbness in my body was wearing off. It was like after you get a shot of Novocain at the dentist. . . the feeling you get when it starts to wear off. My whole body was like that. I took a bath. I filled the tub way up with hot water and put in bubbles. Lavender and vanilla body salts and bubbles. I fell asleep. I could have drowned. People drown in bathtubs all the time. But I didn’t. I just fell asleep and got all wrinkly and smelled like lavender and vanilla. By the time I called Melanie and asked her to come over, it was the next day. It had been about ten hours since it happened but it seemed like a week had gone by. Melanie came over and we talked and I told her what happened. (pause) And she didn’t believe me. . . Nobody believed me. I told my sister and my mom and all my friends. And no one believed me. Some of my friends laughed. They laughed at the most upsetting parts. Like it was funny. Like what happened to me was funny. And I wanted to ask them, “Don’t you feel at all awkward for laughing in the middle of me telling you what happened to me?!? (intensely) I’m not lying. I wasn’t lying then and I’m not lying now. It happened. Jason did it and I was outside my body and I saw it happen. I was a witness. I was the victim and the witness and it happened. It happened and you’ll believe me. I’ll make you. And I won’t take no for an answer.

JANINE: Call the doctor. Somebody call the doctor. GEOFFREY: I always wanted to be a surgeon. JANINE: The baby’s coming. GEOFFREY: I used to do operations on my sister’s teddy bears. It was

the first one that I cut into that had the red stuffing. Most of the other ones were brown or light blue. Frankly, all the other colors were a let down – a disappointment – after the red stuffing. Sometimes I put things in their little stuffed bodies. My dryer produces an excessive amount of lint. There are times when the lint-catcher-tray-thing is actually overflowing with lint. So, I take big bunches of the teddy bears’ original stuffing and replace it with dryer lint. Like a transplant. I put a travel alarm clock into one teddy bear. My sister thought it was a bomb. She saw a movie where they dropped the bomb into the ocean to keep it from exploding and wiping out the city’s population so she drowned the ticking teddy bear in the bathtub to keep it from blowing up the house. Another time, I put a dead roach in her little stuffed dog. Except that the roach I thought was dead wasn’t really dead and it came crawling out a hole in the dog’s butt

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while my sister was having a tea party with the stuffed dog as the guest of honor. You can imagine how quickly the tea party came to an end when the roach crawled out the dog’s butt and onto a big plate full of Chips Ahoy cookies. (pause) After a while, doing surgery on stuffed animals lost its appeal and I started cutting open other things. All kinds of things. Even myself.

JANINE The baby’s coming. AUGUST If my roommate wasn’t dead, I’d be sure to point that out to

her. JANINE I’ve been carrying this baby eleven months. That’s a long time to

be pregnant. Babies are supposed to come out after ten months, you know. Some people will tell you that it’s nine months but they lie.

DINAH I’m not lying. JANINE They lie about washing their hands and they lie about liking your

dress and they lie about how long you’re supposed to be pregnant before the baby comes out.

TIM: Come out, come out, wherever you are. (confused) Are we playing hide and seek?

JANINE: (has a contraction) Why am I here all alone? Where are the M&Ms? (another contraction) I’ve had my suspicions. (Lamaze breathing) I’ve suspected. (more Lamaze breathing)I’ve presumed. (more Lamaze breathing) My office is directly across from the men’s room door. I can hear what goes on in there. (contraction) I can tell when there’s water running. I can hear when someone uses the hand dryer. And he never runs water and he never uses the hand dryer. And I’ve never seen him use hand sanitizer. He comes out of the restroom and reaches right into the candy jar on my desk. (another contraction) He digs his hands was down into the M&Ms. He digs into the bowl with his unclean hands. (contraction leading into next phrase) He is unclean. That’s how this happened. (clarifying) Not from unclean candy. (contraction, into the next word) NO! It was an immaculate conception. He didn’t touch me. But he had unclean thoughts about me and that’s how this happened. Eleven months ago. (contraction) And now it’s time. . . (contraction) It’s time. . . (contraction) It’s time. (SHE continues with the childbirth. Gradually, it subsides. SHE is clearly drained. There is a pause as SHE makes the transition. SHE becomes aware that SHE has not given birth. That awareness resonates deeper and deeper and reaches tragic desperation.)

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Oh. . . oh no. . . oh my goodness no. . . Where’s the baby? Where’s my baby? There’s no baby. . . (becoming frantic; reeling in the tragedy) Oh no. Where is my baby? (more frantic; sobbing) Where is my baby?! Who took my baby?! Did someone take my baby? (desperate) If someone took my baby, please give it back to me. It’s my baby. . . (full - out sobs) My baby. . . What happened to my baby? (SHE continues to sob)

TRACY: There are dozens of little boys named Tracy running around out there in the world. JANINE: (still crying) Where is my baby? What happened to my baby? Can somebody help me? (pause; SHE is inconsolable) Can anybody help me? AUGUST: I heard a voice say, “Help!” – kind of whispered or like it was a strain to say it. It could have been a voice on TV. TRACY:

I was on TV when I was seven years old. It was local TV but it was still TV. They had a reporter covering the Little Miss Princess Pageant and I was the winner. She interviewed me. I had poise. For my talent, I sang a Jim Morrison song. He was the lead singer of The Doors. I sang, “Come On Baby, Light My Fire” while twirling a baton... A fire baton. People cried. . . They cheered. . . Their lives were changed. After that pageant, my parents got me an agent and I started singing anywhere they could get me booked. Malls, Rotary Club meetings, doing the National Anthem at Little League games. You name it and I did it. A producer heard me sing “America The Beautiful” at a demolition derby and he offered my parents a contract. My first album – my very first album – went gold. I was on Entertainment Tonight five times in two months. I was everywhere. I couldn’t walk down the street without people screaming my name or running after me to ask for my autograph. My second CD went platinum. I had my own line of clothes and make up. I was a corporation. I did a tour of Japan. I’m very big there. I was mobbed. They just wanted to touch me. “Tracy” they called to me, in their Japanese accents. (explaining) They have Japanese accents because they’re Japanese. Ten people were killed in a stampede at Tokyo Disneyland. All they wanted to do was touch me. I did a duet with Paul McCartney. He used to be somebody! I went to a sleepover at the White House as a guest of the President’s daughter. I performed at Madison Square Garden. The concert was sold out. The whole tour was sold out. We sold out stadiums – giant, outdoor stadiums – in ten different cities in less than four hours. And

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everywhere I went, people were always calling my name. Everybody knew my name. Everybody.

(The following series comes in rapid succession.) GEOFFREY: Tracy. DINAH: Tracy. LAURIE: Tracy. KEVIN: Tracy. AUGUST: Tracy. JANINE: Tracy. TIM: Tracy. TRACY: And, then, I released my third album. Everybody expected it to

be even bigger than the last one. Everybody did. Everybody. But nobody bought it. Nobody downloaded the songs. MTV didn’t play the videos. My record label dumped me. I don’t know what happened to all my money. My parents say that they had expenses. About six months ago, I was in a 7-11 and I saw the cover of one of those tabloids that I used to be in all the time. The headline was, “Has Been Stars... Where Are They Now?” I looked at every single page in the magazine and there was nothing about me. Not a picture, no mention of my name. Nothing. The pimple-faced guy who worked there came over and asked me what I was looking for. He didn’t recognized me. He must live under a rock and only come out to work at the 7-11. So, I told him, “Tracy. . . I’m looking for Tracy.” And he laughed. He laughed and he said, “No way. She had to be a star before she could be a has-been star.” He swallowed the whole magazine. Every single page. One at a time. I was surprised, how quickly I was able to feed it to him. So was he. But he swallowed it all. And half a bottle of Sprite to wash it down. It was all captured on the stores video camera. When they showed it on the news, they played some of my music in the background. It was just like a music video.

AUGUST: It could have been a voice on the TV. I couldn’t be sure. KEVIN: I hear people talking in my head. Like when you’re going to

sleep and you put the TV in your bedroom on timer so it turns off after an hour. You’re drifting off and not really paying attention to what’s on the TV but you still hear the voices, like they’re getting farther and farther away as you get closer and closer to being asleep. It’s like that for me, except I’m not going to bed and I don’t have a TV on a timer while I fall asleep.

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I’m awake and I hear them talking. Not all the time. (quick pause) They don’t talk all the time and they don’t all talk at once. Sometimes they do, but not all the time. It wasn’t always like that. I didn’t always have people talking in my head. It started when I was 16. I was at my friend Todd’s house. They had a big dog – a German shepherd, I think. And Todd’s mom had just put down a big dish full of food for the dog. It looked like beef stew and smelled really good. And inside my head a voice said,“ Taste the dog food. Just a little bit. You know you want to.” So, I did. And Todd’s mom screamed and I got sent home and Todd wasn’t allowed to invite me over to his house any more. After that, the floodgates opened and I was hearing voices pretty much every day. Pretty much. Some days more than others. They were like friends. They had opinions and observations and suggestions. I wasn’t ever lonely.

(The following come in quick succession.) TRACY: Purple is pretty. AUGUST: Order the flounder. JANINE: The pineapple is nervous. DINAH: The door should be shut. TIM: Avocados are evil. LAURIE: Use Lemon Pledge. GEOFFREY: Push your uncle down the stairs. KEVIN: Some voices were more insistent than others. Most of the time, I

could figure out if what they suggested was a good idea. (quick pause) I don’t regret tasting the dog food. It was good. Dog food isn’t just for dogs. It’s good.Gravy is good. Pancakes are good. Pie is good.PIE. TIE. DIE. CRY. (quick pause) Pie can be better than cake. But cake can also be better than pie. I want cake and pie. I want cake and pie, now! And cookies! I want cake and pie and cookies! (While KEVIN continues to speak, AUGUST, TRACY, DINAH, GEOFFREY, JANINE,LAURIE and TIM will whisper “Cake,” and “Pie” and “Cookies.” Each person should switch from word to word, in varying order. There should be no sense of unison.) The nurses better bring me what I want. I hate the nurse with the red hair -- the young one who works the day shift. I hate her. She slapped me, yesterday -- backhanded me right

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across the face. Across the face! All I said was, “I don’t want to take the damn pill.” That was all I said. Really. And she hit me I almost bit her hand. If I’d have been quicker, I’d have gotten a couple of her fingers in my mouth when she slapped me. Next time, I’ll be ready. I’ll leave teeth marks on her hand. I’ve been practicing. It’s kind of practicing and kind of an alternative form of revenge. (HE pulls out the red-haired Barbie doll.) It’s a voodoo doll. (Shows it, then, pauses.)She used her hand to hurt me, so I’ll use the voodoo to hurt her. (HE bites the Barbie’s hand.) (It’s as if the chewing on Barbie’s hand tires him out. HE begins to fade and the rest of his verbiage has a sluggish feel to it.) In my book about voodoo, it said to use a needle but I can’t find any. I had one. I stole it from arts and crafts when we were stringing beads for friendship necklaces. But the nurse found it and took it away. (quick pause, to clarify) Not the nurse with the red hair. The other one. The one who wears too much eye shadow. I don’t like her either. I don’t like any of the nurses. I don’t. I hate ‘em. I hate ‘em all. (quick pause) Except the one who gave me the extra cake, last week. I like her. I like her a lot.

TIM: Avocados are evil. JANINE: The pineapple is nervous. DINAH: The door should be shut. AUGUST: Her door was shut. (insistent) Her door was shut! (more

insistent) And I wasn’t going to open it. Doors are closed for a reason. People close their doors for a reason. If they wanted the outside world to come wandering in, they’d leave their doors wide open. But her door was shut. (SHE becomes increasingly agitated) And I wasn’t going to open it. And I wasn’t going to call 9-1-1. I don’t make outgoing calls. And I screen incoming calls. I order my groceries on the Internet. They deliver. I slide a note under the door so they know to knock three times, then, bring the groceries inside and get the money. I leave it on the table. I run to the bathroom, when they knock. I can’t be in the living room or kitchen if the front door is open.

So, I couldn’t call 9-11. They’d bust down the door. It would be open. The 9-1-1 people can’t be trusted to wait until I get in the bathroom and shut the door before they bust open the front door. They can’t be trusted. They shouldn’t have come. I didn’t call them. I didn’t. The landlord did. (SHE is getting more angry) Or one of the neighbors who should have been minding their own damn business.

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Everything was fine. Everything was perfectly fine for three or four days. Maybe it was a week. I don’t remember. It’s not important. It was fine. Everything was fine. No more thuds.

TRACY: Help me. AUGUST: And, then, they came. The 9-1-1 people. And they busted

down the door. There must’ve been a hundred of them storming in like an army taking over an enemy village. It takes a village to raise a child. It takes the Village People to raise a child. And they came in. Before I could get in the bathroom.

DINAH: Help me. AUGUST:

And the door was wide open. It was open far enough for them to drive their ambulance right through the door. They didn’t drive it through the door but they could have. The door was open that wide. And the damn neighbors were standing in the hall looking into my apartment. Looking at me. Looking at me like I’d done something wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong. You shouldn’t call 9-1-1 every time you hear a thud. If people called 9-1-1 every time they heard a thud, all they’d do all day was call 9-1-1. The vast majority of thuds do not require outside intervention. The vast majority of thuds do not require that strangers bust down your door and come in yelling and screaming like wild Indians. Like Cowboys and Indians. Like the Cleveland Indians and the Dallas Cowboys. They were all in the apartment and the door was wide open.

GEOFFREY: Help me. AUGUST: And I tried to run into the bathroom where I could be safe but

they grabbed me and dragged me into the hall. Outside. In the hall.

And they put my roommate on a gurney... a stretcher with wheels... and they wheeled her out of her room and she was a very strange color and her body was all askew. And I thought of a poem. I wrote an original poem. “What did you do that made your body so askew?” It was a short poem but it rhymed. Poems should rhyme and doors should be kept shut and people should stay out of other people’s apartments no matter how many thuds your roommate makes.

LAURIE: Help me. AUGUST: I don’t know what happened to her. I don’t know. Her door

was shut. Her door was shut and I didn’t open it. I wouldn’t open it. I would never open it. And I told them that when they dragged me into the hall. I told them. And they didn’t listen.

KEVIN: Help me. AUGUST: I just wanted to go back into my apartment and get into the

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bathroom so I could be safe while the front door was open. (SHE begs and pleads, getting increasingly more hysterical) Let me go inside where I can be safe! Just let me go inside.

JANINE: Help me. AUGUST: Just let me go inside. Please let me go inside. . . Help me. . .

(pause; transition) And, then, they brought me here. (pause) Here. They brought me here.

GEOFFREY: I needed some snuggle love. DINAH: He wouldn’t take no for an answer. KEVIN: You can’t do anything about it. LAURIE: It’s not my fault. TRACY: It was just like a music video. AUGUST: And it was peaceful. Not quiet, but it was peaceful. And it was

safe. It was inside and it was safe and the door to my room is shut. JANINE: Why am I here all alone? AUGUST: It’s safe. It’s my refuge. . . my shelter. . . my sanctuary. . . TIM: Help me. AUGUST: I’m home. (Fade to black)

END OF PLAY

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BY DENNIS BUSH

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NOTES

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NOTES

DENNIS BUSH

Dennis Bush’s plays have been performed in New York and throughout the United States and Canada, and elsewhere around the world. He has extensive credits as a writer, coach, and consultant. He has written commissioned theatrical texts for numerous clients and is a proud member of the Dramatists Guild of America

Asylumby Dennis BushType: One Act Play

Genre: Drama

Duration: 45 minutes

Cast: 5 females, 3 males, 8 total cast

Set in a state-run mental institution and, at times, in the minds of the patients,

Asylum explores the fl ip side of sanity. We meet a former pop star who contin-

ues to live like she’s in a music video, a girl who was harmed by her best friend’s

boyfriend, a young man who does operations on stuff ed animals and himself, a

woman who believes she’s in the 11th month of a pregnancy, a dessert-obsessed

man with a Barbie voodoo doll, a lost boy who just wants to go home, and oth-

ers. Through a tapestry of monologues that range from off -the-wall to terrifying,

the characters search for their refuge, their shelter, their sanctuary...their home.

ISBN: 978-1-60003-271-4