Assessment Objective One

Mr. Bleaney

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overview of Assessment Objective One i) Knowledge and understanding - from level one to level two understanding - activity one ii) Writing a coherent argument - guide to successful introductions - example introduction - example conclusion - activity two iii) Improving written style - activity three iv) Using critical terminology - activity four

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overview

Assessment Objective One

AO1 tests your ability to show how much you have understood the texts you have been studying. It gives marks to well informed responses that use appropriate terminology and are coherent and accurately written.

What a B grade looks like for AO1:

i. knowledge and understanding: show a secure understanding of the main ideas, attitudes and themes in the text

ii. coherent response: essays are well structured with clear points made in each paragraph that develop an argument

iii. accurate written style: writing is clear and controlled with mostly accurate spelling, punctuation and grammar

iv. critical terminology: critical and literary terminology is used effectively to help make valid points about aspects of texts

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i. knowledge and understanding

B grade students write confidently about ideas, attitudes and themes and less about aspects of character and plot.

To help you understand this distinction it might be worth thinking of this in terms of level 1 and level 2 understanding:

Level 1 understanding - focuses on characters and plot and does not really develop ideas about the writer’s thoughts and feelings.

e.g. In the poem a landlady shows the narrator around the bedsit. He notices things about the room’s previous occupant, Mr Bleaney.

Level 2 understanding – explores in much greater depth the significance of what happens and what characters think and feel. It also shows sound awareness of the writer’s thoughts and feelings.

e.g. The narrator notices ‘flowered curtains, thin and frayed’ which introduce Larkin’s thoughts about decay and the fragility of life.

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activity one

1. The second and third stanzas continue to list details of the room,

such as the ‘Bed, upright chair, sixty-watt bulb, no hook’.

2. There is an interesting pun in the first stanza, when he refers to

the house he is looking around as the ‘Bodies.’

3. The poem recreates some of the dialogue between the persona

and the landlady, as he was shown around the house.

4. The persona thinks that he understands what kind of man Mr.

Bleaney was and that he ‘knows his habits.’

5. The poem becomes increasingly poetic towards the close with the

poet wondering what Mr. Bleaney really thought about his ‘home.’

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Activity: turn the following level one sentences about the poem ‘Mr Bleaney’ into level two sentences.

ii. coherent argument

All your essays should contain a clear argument that answers the question in a logical manner.

Features of a well structured B grade argument:

plan the main ideas to provide your essay with direction short, punchy introduction that gives your reader a sense of the direction of your argument (see later for guidance) clear focus on the question in each paragraph, using ideas in your plan and adding to them with lots of detail and analysis confident conclusion that makes a decisive response to the question based upon the points made (see later for guidance) clear paragraph structure e.g.*a) topic sentence/s – clear point responding to question (A01)b) examples from the text and analysis of methods used (A02)c) alternative reading or critical comment (A03)d) exploration of relevant contextual details (A04)

* Obviously, this structure can be adapted to suit your unit focus

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introductions

A successful introduction makes the scope of your argument clear to the reader and helps give structure to your work.

Examination essays Coursework essays

1-2 sentences that engage with the question and indicate the argument

4-5 sentences that give a clear sense of the overall argument

Avoid repeating question or making generic statements (easy to do under pressure!)

Avoid repeating the question or making generic statements

Show confidence and understanding of the question set

Show confidence and an understanding of the question set and any key terms used

Avoid unpacking unnecessary or irrelevant details e.g. context

Avoid unpacking unnecessary or irrelevant details e.g. biography

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example introduction

Explore the presentation of Mr Bleaney in Larkin’s poem.

Mr Bleaney is presented through the eyes of a narrator who takes up the rent on his old room. This new lodger comes to realise that the dull, monotonous and sad life of Mr Bleaney is a reflection of his own existence.

Punchy opening in one short sentence (AO1)

Already demonstrating an understanding of Larkin’s methods (A02)

Shows understanding of ideas A01

Confident tone (AO1) Intro gives structure to

essay as paragraphs explore how this life is presented (AO1)

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example conclusion

Explore the presentation of Mr Bleaney in Larkin’s poem.

Ultimately, through the narrative voice and his common place dialogue with the landlady, the reader is able to reach a powerful understanding of the way Larkin believes ‘how we lives measures our own nature.’

Word or phrase to help signal argument close (AO1)

Able to draw back from analysis to make a bigger comment about authorial intention (A01)

Sometimes the words of the writers say more than you can A01

Confident tone (AO1) Conclusion gives a clear

sense that the question, the poem and the methods used have all been understood (AO1)

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activity two

Activity: complete a short introduction and conclusion to the following essay question:

How does Larkin convey ideas about isolation in ‘Mr Bleaney’?

Introductions Conclusions

Indicate scope of argument Short and punchy

Engage with question focus Do more than sum up points

Show understanding of terms Try to offer definitive response

Short and punchy Show confidence

Do not repeat the questions Final flourish e.g. quotation

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iii. accurate writing style

To gain a B grade for this assessment objective your writing needs to be technically accurate with a minimum of errors

Top errors to avoid:

1. Use of writer’s first names – always refer to surnames

2. Fragments (incomplete sentences) or confusing syntax – write

short, clear sentences with a subject + verb

3. Comma splicing – joining two sentences with a comma

4. Speech marks instead of single inverted commas when quoting

5. GCSE phrasing e.g. Duffy presents; this suggests; overuse of PEE

6. Over use of ‘as’ to link parts of a sentence together

7. incorrect punctuation of ‘however’ – in most cases = new sentence

+ However + comma e.g. …However, there are other ways

8. Empty of reductive vocabulary choices e.g. positive and negative

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activity three

Activity: identify and amend the common errors in this paragraph.

At the start of stanza six the tone gets less positive. This is shown through the word ‘but’. Which is a change in tone. Philip’s speaker wonders if Mr. Bleaney “lay on the fusty bed” and thought about whether the room made him who he is, as he talks about how he might have ‘grinned ‘ and ‘shivered’ without ‘shaking off the dread’. These negative words suggest that he has started to understand something about the meaning of the room he has rented, how he is like Mr. Bleaney himself. The “hired box” refers to the room where Bleaney lived, however it might also suggest a coffin that he was carried out in when he died. The narrative voice in this last stanza realised that he has become as lonely as Mr. Bleaney before him. ‘how we live measures our own nature.’

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iv. critical voice

Whilst literary terms can help your analysis, using critical vocabulary and having a critical voice is also important.

A critical voice should include the following:

In the second stanza Larkin describes the circumstances of Mr. Bleaney’s pitiful life. The only sight from his window was ‘a strip of building land’, which he also stresses was ‘Tussocky’ and ‘littered’. This soulless view helps to draw attention to the loneliness of his existence. Larkin is trying to highlight the way that our physical environment helps to shape who we are as human beings.

1. Confident voice2. Words show understanding of character

3. Choice of word shows awareness of poet’s craft

6. Words that reflect an opinion

5. Convincing vocabulary choices

4. Authoritative judgment

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activity four

Activity: identify the features of a critical voice in this paragraph

There is a change of tone at the beginning of sixth stanza, with the conjunction ‘But’ and the enjambed lines signalling a more poetic mood. The isolated figure reflects upon his surroundings and wonders whether, like him, Mr. Bleaney ‘lay on the fusty bed’ and tried to shake of the ‘dread’ that the room was his home. Larkin’s use of the verbs ‘grinned’ and ‘shivered’ convey the persona’ underlying fear as he confronts the loneliness of his existence, and the possibility that he is the same person as Mr. Bleaney. The reference to the ‘hired box’ is thus a pun, representing the room that contained Bleaney whilst he was alive, but also the coffin that held his body when he died. Although he breaks off before reaching a definite conclusion, it seems clear that the speaker understands he will share the same fate as Bleaney and that ‘how we live measures our own nature.’.

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1. Confident voice2. Words show that understanding of character or theme3. Choice of words shows awareness of poet’s craft4. Authoritative judgment on texts5. Convincing vocabulary choices6. Words that reflect an opinion