PAGE 6—THE CITIZEN-TIMES, Scottsville, Ky., Thursday, February 2, 2012

Luther Says Yes to a Wedding Dress

“I am not getting married in a circus tent, Daddy,” Shelby shouted at Luther. “And, furthermore, my wed-ding guests are not eating pizza, corn and salad from the school cafeteria. I don’t care what kind of hare-brained deal you cooked up at the board of education of-fice.”

Shelby was pretty het up at Luther. We had been making plans for her mar-riage to Jimmie when Luther got it in his head that there was a cheaper way to do it. While Shelby was working on her ideal wedding with a caterer, tent and landscap-ing, Luther had gone around town looking for bargains. It escaped Luther why she wasn’t happy with his ar-rangement for a stinky cir-cus tent, cafeteria food, a road crew to do landscaping and my sisters as Shelby’s wedding planners :P

She was in full bridal fury. “Jimmie, we are going to have our wedding in Nash-ville. No more NICE Shelby, Daddy! This party is going to be at the Wildhorse Sa-loon!”

“Woohoo!” Jimmie did a little happy dance. (I actual-ly didn’t know the boy could talk. Shelby hadn’t allowed him to open his mouth since their engagement.) Luther staggered into the other room, defeated. Don’t worry about Luther. He’s used to losing arguments. He’s mar-ried to me.

I could tell that Jimmie was dreaming of a casual, fun filled wedding. He thought he was going to get by with a good ol’ boy party at a bar. In his mind he envisioned himself as Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones with all his bad boys hanging out and playing pool. HA!! Cer-tainly NOT Keith Richards! More like Keith Urban so Shelby could be that uppity Nicole Kidman, all decked out in a fashionable wed-ding gown. Boys just don’t get it, do they?

“Mom, I’ve made appoint-ments at four shops to look at wedding gowns,” Shelby

announced. Jimmie looked at me with pleading eyes. “Dress shopping is just a girl thing, Jimmie.” I told him. “But when I decide what the men are wearing, Shelby told him, “You’ll have to get a new suit.” I patted him un-til the look of terror left his face. “It’ll be alright. She’ll slack off on this bossiness soon.” I was hoping God wouldn’t strike me dead for lying.

I took extra vitamins for a week before the wedding dress shopping event in At-lanta. If you’ve ever been clothing shopping with Shelby you understand why. No article of clothing is ever purchased quickly. It is looked at, discussed, examined, researched and compared. Then, after go-ing all over town to 17 dif-ferent shops and looking at 14 different items IDENTI-CAL to every other item, she will go back to the first shop she went to and buy the first item she tried on.

Standard for us, wedding dress shopping was a family event. This time the car was loaded with Camara, Im-pala and four-year-old VW, Shelby and her future moth-er-in-law Terry and me. We started at Bridals by Lori, the shop where Say Yes to the Dress, a television show I had never seen or even heard of, is filmed.

“Mama, quit staring. VW, don’t you dare get under an-other dress. Camara, I have decided that maybe we’ll change your hairstyle for the wedding. Impala, let’s think about a diet before the wed-ding, hmm? What do you guys think about yellow for a bridesmaid dress? Impala, did you say anything except pink or peach? OK, I think we’ll go with blush.” Shelby was in full-on, take-charge, mow everyone down, queen of the big city mode.

“May I help you, Miss?” a man with poofy hair, pointy shoes and suspicious sexual orientation inquired.

When Shelby told him she was there to look at gowns, our day began. We were shown to an area where there was a dressing room,

large array of mirrors and a small stage. We looked like shoppers at a Wal-Mart blue light special when Shelby asked us to help her gath-er outrageously overpriced gowns from a multitude of showrooms to try-on.

After the salesperson, Francoise, would clamp Shelby into a gown with what looked like battery jumpers she would sashay out, mount the small stage and we would ooh, aaah, clap, criticize and heckle. It got to be almost like Ameri-can Idol.

“I don’t know. Don’t you think it needs more lace? I think I like the mermaid hemlines. How about a sweetheart neckline? And, what about the back? Does it need covered buttons?” Shelby had the entire vo-cabulary down and it was beginning to be our own pri-vate hell.

When Shelby disappeared into the dressing room to put on yet another dress, VW jumped up on the stage, grabbed a fancy belt she found laying across a chair and started dancing. “That Swarovski crystal encrusted sash your child is playing with costs $500,” a pointy nosed, disdainful model said as she swept by in a cloud of chiffon. Impala snatched the gaudy piece of cloth off of VW as Shelby came out to model her last dress. “Miss Miller, your time is up. You must make a purchase or leave.” Francoise was push-ing us out the door. They must not have ever seen the Beverly Hillbillies. They were unaware that big, loud

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Shelby said. “I’m sure there’s a dress somewhere for me. And, I was wondering…” The rest of us were groan-ing, thinking about looking at more dresses as Shelby’s phone rang. It was Luther. “Honey, I have found a beau-tiful wedding dress in Bowl-ing Green! You’ll love it!”

“Daddy, I know you are at Goodwill so don’t even try it. I’m buying a dress here and using your credit card.” Shelby wasn’t falling for any of his tricks.

Luther’s voice quavered a little, “Are you sure? This one is real pretty. How much do those cost?”

Shelby said, “Atlanta wed-ding gowns cost $5,000.” And she hung up.

All of our mouths were hanging open. Impala said, “Why did you tell him that? You know he will have apo-plexy.”

“No, he won’t.” Shelby was smiling. “Daddy knows his credit card has a $500 limit. He’s probably snorting be-cause he thinks he’s got me. Mom, before Daddy called with that last lame cheap at-tempt, I decided that I would love to wear your wedding gown, if you would let me. We’ll just keep Daddy on the hook for a while, ok?”

What could be better than Saying Yes to my wedding dress? I’m going to charge Luther rent on it.

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By Don MeadorC-T Staff Writer

Chinese Spring FestivalStudents studying Chi-

nese language and culture in the Allen County School District celebrated this week as part of the Chinese Spring Festival, also known as the Chinese Lunar New Year. The districts’ Chinese teachers—Tang Yi and Lin Lynn—planned a variety of weeklong activities in con-junction with the Chinese holiday.

“In high school, we make New Year posters and write Spring Couplets for the New Year decoration Monday,” explained Lin Lynn. “We did the PPT Competition which is related with the Spring Festival Tuesday. The win-ner received Hongbao (Red Envelope having Chinese money inside) which is a traditional New Year stuff. Wednesday, we had the Ji-anzi (Chinese shuttlecock) competition which has the new Jianzi and other Chi-nese paper cuts as awards. Also, we played Chinese games to get Hongbao or Chi-nese New Year gifts. Thurs-day and Friday we learned how to play Majiang. Also during the Spring Festival celebration, students were required to say some bless-ing in Chinese.”

Lin also teaches Chinese at the Allen County Inter-mediate Center. Like the high school, weeklong ac-tivities were held. A poster competition took place in the hallways, Chinese festival videos were watched and tra-ditional Chinese games were played—-much the same way as children in China would celebrate. The week concluded with more compe-tition, crafts and gifts.

“Wednesday we had a Chinese Jianzi (Shuttle-cock) Competition,” Lin ex-plained. “Thursday, we did a Chinese Spring Festival Handcraft—Dragon mask and Mini-Dragon dance toy and Friday we were send-ing Chinese Spring Festival

gifts out and having the end of Spring Festival Celebra-tion.”

The pair of Chinese teach-ers split time between the high school, middle school, and Intermediate Center—teaching the Chinese lan-guage and culture to inter-ested students.

AC-S High School NewS

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