as parents we need to view the influence we have on our sons as an opportunity as well as an...
TRANSCRIPT
As parents we need to view the influence we have on our sons as an opportunity as well as an obligation.
1.A MAP SHOWING ROADS ESPECIALLY FOR TRAVEL
2.A DETAILED PLAN TO GUIDE PROGRESS TOWARD A GOAL
The Road Map
The Three Roads
The Education Road
14% of 18 to 24 year old males are H.S drop outs
37% of 12th grade boys score below basic levels on standardized writing tests. Boys score worse on reading tests across all ages
4.7% is the annual drop out rate for H.S. boys, up from 4.1 in 1990. The rates are virtually identical for white and black boys
35% of 15 to 17 year old boys are below the grade level common for their age, compared to 26% for girls
42 men for 58 women go to college, undergrad and grad
Boys receive 70% of D and F grades
Boys cause 80% of classroom behavioral problems
Boys represent 80% of children diagnosed with behavioral problems
Boys represent up to 80% of the children on Ritalin and other medicines used to treat ADHD
Learning and the Boy, sign posts along the road
Boys: don’t hear as well as girls do
tend to overestimate their abilities
develop language skills later than girls do
develop fine motor skills later than girls do
brains go into rest state many times a day
learn best in “master-apprentice” relationships
develop spatial memory earlier than girls
are kinesthetic learners
Helping our Boys to Learn,,,and Love it A compass for the road
Physical connection between the male body and the brain
Read to preschool boys…A LOTConnect Home and SchoolMake Time TradesCreate a personalized work spaceCreate a “surprise list”Introdduce your boy to male role models
“Do not train boys to learning by force and harshness, but lead them by what amuses them, so that they may better discover the bent of their minds.” Plato
The Social and Cultural Road
5 times as many 15 to 24 year old boys commit suicide as girls
16% of school-age boys have been diagnosed with ADHD/ADD or a learning disability—twice the rate of girls
2 times as many 18 to 29 year old males abuse alcohol as females the same age
16% is the decline in male voting rates in presidential elections since 1964, more than twice the drop for females. In 2004, 56% of men voted, compared to 60% of women
95% of state and federal prisoners under the age of 25 are male
The Media Road
More males on TV, but most are portrayed as negative stereotypes
Fathers are often portrayed as simpletons or buffoons
Women are sexualized and masculinity is often equated to more money, more sex and more violence
Internet Video games and violence
What to Expect on the Road
The fear of violenceStar Wars, Pirates and LegosReady, Set…RaceAll boys deserve a pair of light-up shoes
There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy’s life that he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure” Mark Twain
The Boy Code—living a myth and taking the wrong Road
Do not cryDo not cower, tremble or shrink from dangerDo not ask for help when you are unsure of
yourselfDo not reach for comfort or reassuranceDo not sing or cry for joyDo not hug your dearest friendDo not use words to show tenderness and love
Guiding on boys along the Road…10 tips“Someone says that boys will be boys, he forgot to add, Boys will be men”- Napoleon
Bonaparte.
Know your Boy. His strengths, his dreams and his weaknesses
Respect his uniqueness and be patient with him—help him discover himself and love him as he is
Get physical with him-remember, boys were made for the outdoors
Establish rules-boundaries are essentialDon’t shame himBreak the “Boy Code”
10 tips continued
Get involved in his school-make learning fun and valuable
Listen to your boy-when you value your boy for his true self, you give him confidence to use his talents in the world
Teach him to be virtuous- he strives for integrity and self-control, cornerstones for manhood
You
Secret Surprise Tip Number 11“Small boys become big men through the influence of big men who care about small boys”
Boys NEED men in their lives!
Reading List
Real Boys. William PollackThe Wonder of Boys. Michael GurianBoys Should be Boys. Dr. Meg MeekerThe Trouble with Boys, A Surprise Report
card on our boys… Peg TyreBoys Adrift. Dr. Leonard Sax