app writing standards file: tahmid year 1 high level...

1 of 16 The National Strategies ⏐ Primary Primary Framework for literacy and mathematics, Tahmid writing

Tahmid Year 1 High level 1

Writing standards file

QCA 00022-2009DWO-EN-01 © Crown copyright 2009


Notes describing fire engine

Children worked in pairs talking about a picture of the fire engine before writing their own notes. In the whole-class discussion the teacher prompted children to think about different aspects of the engine – size, colour, what it looked like – and ways of making descriptions come alive through comparisons.

Tahmid’s notes show his ability to make use of the suggested approach. He has described the engine’s size, colour and appearance, expanding his notes around the picture into fuller sentences.

Assessment commentary • In this brief piece of work assessment comments are made in relation to AF5, AF1 and

AF7.

• At sentence level Tahmid uses the verbs ‘is’ and ‘has’ appropriately for the genre (AF5 L2 b3).

• The main interest is that words are chosen thoughtfully and with some precision to create an interesting description, for example ‘it is shiny silver black’, ‘big as three cars together’, ‘shiny blue light like a river’, ‘it has stripes like a tiger’ (AF1 L2 b2 and AF7 L2 b2).



Recount writing: The fireman visit

The children talked about photographs of the fire-crew visit day and sequenced these as a class. Each photograph was then discussed in turn. The children had written recounts many times before and were aware of the features of the text type. Children planned their recount by drawing a map and talking it through with a partner.

The written work was unaided, although supported by the previous work in class.



Transcript We went in the hall the fire people Paul and Sandra the fire crew told us how to be safe. I felt excited because it was a good day. Next we did lots of activities. We went in a fire engine Sandra read us a story book in Miss Fowler’s room. I felt enjoyed. After we went back to Miss Dunning’s room we did colouring we made a book and read one and we went in the fire station. I felt happy. Finally Sandra read us a story I felt sad because they were going and it was Sandra’s birthday.

Assessment commentary • Mainly simple clauses and phrases used, with ‘and’ used to join clauses in a series: ‘we

made a book and red (read) one and we went in the fier (fire) stashun (station)’ (AF5 L1 b1 and b2). Most sentences are structured on the simple pattern of I/we + verb + object, although appropriate variation is introduced by some sentence initial time connectives that help to clarify meaning (AF5 L2 b1). The use of ‘because’ in the final sentence effectively explains regrets at the end of the visit (progress within AF5 L2 b2).

• Past tense is consistent throughout, with a continuous form ‘they were going’ effectively chosen (AF5 L2 b3).

• Clauses are grammatically accurate (AF6 L2 b1). • Full stops and capital letters are sometimes used accurately, showing a definite

awareness, despite some running together of linked ideas (AF6 L1 b2). • Events of the day sequenced by the use of connectives in clear time order, for example

‘First …Next… Finally…’, and there is also a title introducing the piece (AF3 L2 b1, b2). Tahmid’s teacher reports that his recount map showed that he understood the actual sequence of events and who was involved in each one.

• Although the piece is not overtly sectioned, it hangs together by reference to the activities and Tahmid's feelings about the day (AF4 L2 b1).

• Selected items of content, though not individually developed, are relevant and the interspersed comments ‘I felt excited/enjoyed/happy/sad’ indicate viewpoint (AF1 L2 b1 and b3).

• Overall, the writing fulfils the purpose of telling what happened on the day, following a basic recount structure (AF2 L2 b1 and b3).

• Individual words are rarely elaborated more than they would be in speech, for example ‘it was a good day’ and ‘lots of activities’, but are relevant to the purpose (AF7 L2 b1).

• Many high-frequency words correct, with phonetically plausible attempts at simple content words with digraphs and double letters for example ‘hall’, ‘fire’, ‘birthday’. Spelling of more ambitious words, for example ‘culering’ (colouring) and ‘stashun’ (station) also shows phonetic plausibility (AF8 L1 b2).

• In a generally cursive handwriting style, most letters are correctly formed and oriented, clear spaces are left between words, and upper and lower case letters are sometimes distinguished (Handwriting and presentation L1 b1, b2 and b3).



Using ICT to write captions

Working in the ICT suite, the children could choose a picture that linked to the fire-crew visit and devise a caption to go with it. Children worked in pairs for this activity, after a whole-class discussion about the type of pictures that might be selected. Each pair worked independently to key in their captions.

The captions devised by Tahmid and his partner echo some of the language heard during the fire-crew visit about the heat and danger of fire, especially that from a safety refrain, ‘Fire and matches never touch, they can hurt you very much’, and a cautionary tale about a boy who played with matches and burnt his fingers.



Assessment commentary • Simple sentences with 'and' used to connect clauses, for example ‘flames can bern (burn)

you and make you bled (bleed)’ (AF5 L2 b2). • Full stops show an awareness of grammatical boundaries, with one exception (AF6 L1 b2). • Each caption is accompanied by an appropriate brief caption, showing basic

understanding of this way of presenting information (AF3 L1 b2). • Simple connections between ideas about flames and danger in the second caption (AF4

L1). • Descriptive language about fire keyed to the chosen picture (AF1 L1 b2). Tahmid’s

selection of dramatic pictures linked with apt, simple words shows imaginative engagement with the task (AF1 L2 b2), and his stress on the danger of fire in the second picture indicates an overall viewpoint (AF1 L2 b3).

• The final advisory comment indicates some awareness of the reader (AF2 L1 b1). • The keyboard was used independently (Handwriting and presentation L1 b4).



Story writing: The Boy That Made Fire

Children were given the choice of whether they would like to write a story or a poem, with free choice of content within the overall theme of the fire-crew visit. Tahmid chose to write a story. Before writing the children planned their work by drawing a story map and deciding on the characters and setting. The writing was unaided apart from the use of their story maps.



Transcript Once upon a time a boy picked a rock and threw it in the pond to see what to do. Next the boy got two rock and rubbed the rock together. After a flash of something appeared all of a sudden he saw fire. Then he went to tell his mum mum called the fire brigade they put out the fire. Finally mum told the boy off and the boy never made fire again and they lived happily ever after the end.

Assessment commentary • The sentences in this piece all begin with time connectives, an effective choice for a

chronological tale. While there is reliance on 'and' as the all-purpose connective to join ideas, word and clause order in sentences shows some variation, for example ‘threw it in the pond to see what to do’, ‘After a flash [of] something appeared all of a sudden he saw fire’ (AF5 L2 b1). The past tense is generally consistent throughout (AF5 L2 b3).

• Main ideas are punctuated in ‘chunks’, with shorter sentences showing more accurate use of full stops and capital letters (AF6 L1 b2).

• Formulaic phrases from traditional tales indicate start/end of the text (‘once upon a time… happily ever after the end.’)(AF3 L1 b1), and time connectives convey ideas in sequence (AF3 L2 b1).

• In this simple story, pronouns ‘he’, ‘his’ and ‘they’ link all events back to the main character (the boy) (AF4 L1 b1).

• Tahmid uses ideas from traditional tales and everyday life to make up a story relevant to his title. Some ideas expressed through interesting word choices ‘rubbed’, 'flash of sumthing upiyud’) (AF1 L1 b1).

• Reasonably appropriate use of some of the language and structure of a traditional tale to write a contemporary story (AF2 L2 b2).

• Vocabulary choices reflect both everyday usage (‘mum told the boy off’) and more literary expressions (‘a flash of … all of sudden’) (AF7 L2 b1).



Favourite moment

Tahmid chose this picture of extinguishing flames as his favourite moment from the fire-crew visit. Tahmid first wrote on his own, then with some help from his teacher, adding a little more detail and an exclamation mark to round the piece off.



Transcript I like putting out my fire and going in the fire engine because I was being a real firefighter. I felt happy because I didn’t have to take a bath!

Assessment commentary • Each sentence contains a 'because' clause, as prompted by the teacher’s introduction to

the whole class before the writing. Tahmid exceeds this instructional point by writing an effective compound sentence with a subordinate clause, as well as using a past continuous verb form appropriately (AF5 L2 b2 and b3).

• Tahmid is prompted by his teacher to finish his piece with an exclamation mark (AF6 L2 b3) to emphasise the joke about not having a bath.

• Tahmid’s writing forms an explanatory caption to the picture, and his comments convey his feelings about the event (AF1 L2 b3).



Assessment summary

Tahmid is taught in a mixed-ability Year 1 class and English is an additional language for him. The evidence for his writing comes from a single unit of work near the end of the summer term when the school had a visit from the local fire crew.

AF5

Within AF5, Tahmid's writing meets the criteria for level 1. His work shows several instances of progress within the level 2 band, clearly building on supportive teaching (AF5 level 2).

AF6

All of the criteria for level 1 are highlighted, but Tahmid sometimes omits full stops and occasionally uses them inappropriately. He is not yet consistently using capital letters correctly (AF6 level 1).

AF3

Tahmid’s work shows that he has a clear idea of chronological sequencing which he uses to organise what he writes. He is also able to compose text to accompany pictures. He has still to learn ways of introducing and concluding pieces appropriately (AF3 level 1).

AF4

Paragraphs or sections are not used by Tahmid to group content, although he makes clear, cohesive links between ideas, as shown by chains of pronouns or repeated nouns that relate to the main ideas (AF4 level 1).

AF1

All of the level 1 criteria are achieved and aspects of Tahmid's writing show that he is working within level 2 for this assessment focus, especially in his ability to express viewpoint and to explore word choices to create interest. However, the level of support he receives in class means that there are some limitations in the range of choices he can make about content and how to develop it (AF1 level 2).

AF2

Tahmid writes with apparent purpose, adopting features of a given form and its characteristic style. However, more evidence of his ability to choose different types of writing for different readers and independently determine the form would be desirable to confirm a judgment in this assessment focus (AF2 level 1).

AF7

Tahmid’s selection of vocabulary is a mixture of simple words and more adventurous expressions, from both everyday and more formal contexts. The evidence shows that he is trying out new ways of expressing meanings, sufficient to meet the level 2 criteria (AF7 level 2).




AF8

Tahmid spells correctly or phonetically a sufficient number of words for his work to be relatively easily read by an outsider. His writing suggests that he has problems in writing some key vowel and consonant digraphs, sometimes omitting parts of words altogether. Level 1 was awarded for this assessment focus.

Handwriting and presentation

Within handwriting and presentation Tahmid is working within level 1.


Writing assessment guidelines: levels 1 and 2

Pupil name Tahmid Class/Group Year 1 Date Summer term

AF5 – vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect

AF6 – write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences

AF3 – organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and structuring information, ideas and events

AF4 – construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs

AF1 – write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts

AF2 – produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose

AF7 – select appropriate and effective vocabulary

AF8 – use correct spelling Handwriting and presentation

Level 2

In some forms of writing:

some variation in sentence openings, e.g. not always starting with name or pronoun

mainly simple sentences with and used to connect clauses

past and present tense generally consistent


clause structure mostly grammatically correct

sentence demarcation with capital letters and full stops usually accurate

some accurate use of question and exclamation marks, and commas in lists


some basic sequencing of ideas or material, e.g. time-related words or phrases, line breaks, headings, numbers

openings and/or closings sometimes signalled


ideas in sections grouped by content, some linking by simple pronouns


mostly relevant ideas and content, sometimes repetitive or sparse

some apt word choices create interest

brief comments, questions about events or actions suggest viewpoint


some basic purpose established, e.g. main features of story, report

some appropriate features of the given form used

some attempts to adopt appropriate style


simple, often speech-like vocabulary conveys relevant meanings

some adventurous word choices, e.g. opportune use of new vocabulary


usually correct spelling of: o high-frequency

grammatical function words

o common single morpheme content/lexical words

likely errors: o inflected endings, e.g.

past tense, plurals, adverbs

o phonetic attempts at vowel digraphs


letters generally correctly shaped but inconsistencies in orientation, size and use of upper/lower case letters

clear letter formation, with ascenders and descenders distinguished, generally upper and lower case letters not mixed within words

Level 1

In some writing, usually with support:

reliance on simple phrases and clauses

some sentence-like structures formed by chaining clauses together, e.g. series of ideas joined by repeated use of ‘and’


mostly grammatically accurate clauses

some awareness of use of full stops and capital letters, e.g. beginning/end of sentence


some formulaic phrases indicate start/end of text, e.g. once upon a time, one day, the end

events/ideas sometimes in appropriate order, e.g. actions listed in time sequence, items numbered


simple connections between ideas, events, e.g. repeated nouns, pronouns relate to main idea


basic information and ideas conveyed through appropriate word choice, e.g. relate to topic

some descriptive language, e.g. colour, size, simple emotion


some indication of basic purpose, particular form or awareness of reader, e.g. story, label, message


mostly simple vocabulary

communicates meaning through repetition of key words


usually correct spelling of simple high frequency words

phonetically plausible attempts at words with digraphs and double letters

sufficient number of recognisable words for writing to be readable, including use of letter names to approximate syllables and words


most letters correctly formed and orientated

spaces between words

upper and lower case sometimes distinguished

use of ICT, e.g. use keyboard to type own name

BL

IE

Overall assessment (tick one box only) Low 1 Secure 1 High 1 Low 2 Secure 2 High 2



Making a level judgement

Tahmid’s writing was assessed using the L1/L2 assessment guidelines. From the evidence it is clear that Tahmid’s writing meets the L2 criteria for three of the assessment focuses: AF5, AF1 and AF7. There are clear strengths developing in AF3 and AF2, but to date the range of types of writing attempted without support is too limited to enable a confident judgement to be made at level 2 for either of these assessment focuses; the same reservations apply to AF4.

Following the flow chart for making an overall level judgment, it is clear that Tahmid’s writing fulfils the minimum criteria for level 1 and some in level 2. This means that overall a high level 1 is the best fit judgement.

Next steps

Tahmid’s teacher reports that his progress throughout Year 1 has been steady and continuous, noting that he is quick to internalise explicit teaching. There are relatively few indications in his work that English is not his first language. Minor errors in plural formation (‘two rock’ instead of ‘two rocks’ in the fire story) and a single mistaken tense (‘like’ instead of ‘liked’ in his comments about a favourite moment) are outweighed by his growing ability to construct different types of sentences, showing a productive understanding of written grammar.

Another aspect of his work that might be associated with an EAL learner is the slightly out-of-place use of an everyday expression ‘to see what to do’, rather than ‘to see what happened’ in the fire story. Otherwise, analysis of Tahmid’s spelling errors could indicate EAL-specific challenges in representing English phonemes and learning about acceptable letter combinations in English.

The next steps for Tahmid will be in tackling a wider range of writing in contexts with less teacher support and from different curriculum contexts. The work associated with the fire-crew visit shows the benefits of providing clear purposes for selecting and developing ideas, as part of encouraging increasing independence. A characteristic of Tahmid’s writing is the slight discrepancy between effective management of clause and sentence structure and accurate punctuation. Further work is needed in bringing these skills together. Similarly, his enjoyment in playing with words and using new expressions could be linked with more work on the technicalities of English spelling to increase the readability of his writing.


app writing standards file: tahmid year 1 high level...

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