BREAKING NEWS He hates Oriyas and calls IIT

chicks “B#####s”

IN THE BEGINNING NORMAL GUYS DREAM OF BECOMING PILOTS, TRAIN DRIVERS,

OUR MAN HAD TRUCK DRIVER AMBITIONS ..

UNFORTUNATELY HE PASSED WELL IN EXAMS ..

Wanted to become a quizzer, but a chance encounter with the likes of Katoch in 1st year at KGP, made him realize what “quizzing” really was

AT A RANDOM TIME IN HIS LIFE - INTERNSHIPDirector – So son

after staying in our AC rooms, eating

our free food, roaming all over

Rajasthan what do you propose?

Your job is useless, you are useless, your division is useless. Arthaat, please fire yourself and everyone

around you ..

For those who don’t know, Anshuman was quite the normal boy in IIT..

But one day at work ..

AND AFTER THAT

Friends from KGP(at least one)

Is saale ko hua kya???

Anshuman!! Yes, he is a smart, good looking,

strong ,sensitive, caring young man and don’t us

girls just love that !!

Anshuman’s positions (:P) : long on girls with big efficient frontiers, shorts any girl whose net worth has deteriorated in recent times or whose accessibility has gone for a toss !

Created an excel sheet which sorts girls as per their net worth and he channelizes his efforts accordingly (FYI, his potential targets were Tanvi, Mohana, Nivedita…he tries so hard for her)

Being a markets guy, he once even tried to create derivatives based on virginity of random girls as an underlying (generally is long for in the money options) asset

The Big Anna Fan

◦ Possesses a fundamentally fractured sense of humour which is based heavily on his poor mimetic tendencies

◦ Main targets : Amala (fondly being called Amala Upadhyaya and has virtually lost his own identity), Vanshika Chawla, Shweta Shriwastava et al

◦ Mimicks Sunil Shetty so much that he dared to dance on ‘Shahar ki Ladki’ in the most obnoxious and disturbing way during Unmaad…it was heard that Anna was deeply traumatized after his performance…Yes, the man who traumatized the nation with his acting prowess got traumatized !

◦ The disgusted judges remarked that he has got the flab in the right places :P

◦ A really bad taste in music – busty bollywood numbers which includes Himesss Bhai’s chartbusters…Baid’s repeated attempts to force him into listening to Hard rock, Jazz or anything other than Hindi songs went in vain and he had to disown him for he feared that he too would start listening to B-town numbers if he carried on with his company !

From one extreme to the other….

KALAPATHAR

NEW YEARS PARTY

AYUSH

The Physical Proximit

y in Hint

Ayush – Super - ManAnshuman : I hereby declare that Ayush is

a sweet-heart, and nobody is allowed to mock him

Baid (to Ayush) : Dude, beware, gender is not a variable on Anshuman’s indifference curve of sexual gratification

Ayush : WTF ?Baid : How could I be more

simplistic..hmm…ok he might hit on you !Ayush : ohh…Let him, I ain’t fretting

either…Let me check how wild can he really get !

The Anshu-Man theoryHe hates numbers and hence indulges in

qualitative research. His latest research topic :What’s the difference between a prostitute and a

virgin ? :His analysis (which lacks any sound proof and

relies solely on his poor empirical findings) lead him to conclude that : Both resist any kinda change whatsoever

(Ladyfolks, please pardon it but that’s the kind of research in which this lecherous guy indulges in)

Aditi…”O haallo, Oh

bhai”…all of sudden she has started to look

goooood !

Mimicry king of IIMBAmala….haha so funny

yaarrrrr...If I don’t get lucky,

she’ll accept me anyways

Jishnu Hazra…shhhhooooo you

can all shit together and

sholve the questions

Anshuman : I guess, I have a really good shot at Aditi..only if Achal with his freakish IQ score of above 180 backs out...But I guess, I can compensate for his high IQ score by my weird sense of humour, which apparently only the girls can appreciate.

Achal : Duh..as if the competitive fringe, consisting of all random folks of my sectionwas not enough, that this little chimpy has also pipped inSo, I back out and will stop talking to her ! (How worldly wise is that Mr. Achal Gupta…you should give the IQ test again and again and again !)

Dancer…Desi Boyzzz

By the time you see this, our man is probably like this:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANSHUMANAND AN ALLIANCE WANTED FOR A ‘GHARELU’ ORIYA BOY (ORIYA GIRLS NEED ONLY APPLY!)