and trial excerpts, cartoons, jokes, and ideas to tbj

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W HUMOR texasbar.com/tbj Vol. 78, No. 9 • Texas Bar Journal 753 NOW ACCEPTING SUBMISSIONS Send your funny essays, deposition and trial excerpts, cartoons, jokes, and ideas to [email protected]. on the courthouse lawn at the turn of the 20th century. 3 Here in Texas, the Grimes County Courthouse in Anderson has been the site of unexplained paranormal activity. In 2008, now-retired Grimes County Judge Betty Shiflett and Court Admin- istrator Larry McGinnis told reporters about unexplained door-slamming, strange noises, and shadows in the Vic- torian building. 5 Some locals speculate that a Clyde Barrow gang member, whose trial was held at the courthouse, put a curse on the building. New Jersey also has its share of haunted courthouses. Workers at the Union County Courthouse in Elizabeth claim sightings of a ghostly figure in the corridors and at a nearby cemetery that are said to be the spirit of Hannah Ogden Caldwell, a minister’s wife whose murder during the Revolutionary War was never solved. The Syfy channel show Ghost Hunters even devoted an episode to it. 6 And at the Gloucester County Courthouse in Woodbury, construction With Halloween approaching, per- haps we should add courthouses to the pantheon of traditional scary places— and not because they induce bad mem- ories for those who didn’t prevail in their quest for justice. Many courthouses are genuinely spooky—some might even say “haunted”—places. In a scene straight out of a horror movie, a 2015 trial at the Sevier County Courthouse in De Queen, Arkansas, was disrupted when about 30 bats flew into the courtroom. Although the ensu- ing “disorder in the court” subsided when the lights were turned off and the trial was relocated, it doesn’t bode well that, according to the county’s chief adminis- trative officer, “hundreds” of bats roost in a courthouse elevator shaft. 1 And last Halloween, in St. George, Utah, dozens of Brazilian free-tailed bats had to be removed from courtrooms, stair- wells, hallways, and ceilings at the 5th District Courthouse. 2 While bat infestations are creepy enough, there are courthouses through- out the country that some people swear are inhabited not just by lawyers and judges but also by ghosts. You could practically do a haunted courthouses tour in Arkansas. In 2009, workers at the Desha County Courthouse in Arkansas City, including former County Judge Mark McElroy (now a state rep- resentative), reported “spiritual activity” by a ghost they nicknamed Willard, as well as sounds of crying and moving lights. Local legend alleges that it all began when the clock tower ceased functioning properly because of a curse by a condemned man who was hanged BY JOHN G. BROWNING Summons From the Grave Courthouses across the U.S. claim visits from ghosts of the long gone.

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Page 1: and trial excerpts, cartoons, jokes, and ideas to tbj

W

HUMOR

texasbar.com/tbj Vol. 78, No. 9 • Texas Bar Journal 753

NOW ACCEPTING SUBMISSIONSSend your funny essays, depositionand trial excerpts, cartoons, jokes,

and ideas to [email protected].

on the courthouse lawn at the turn ofthe 20th century.3

Here in Texas, the Grimes CountyCourthouse in Anderson has been thesite of unexplained paranormal activity.In 2008, now-retired Grimes CountyJudge Betty Shiflett and Court Admin-istrator Larry McGinnis told reportersabout unexplained door-slamming,strange noises, and shadows in the Vic-torian building.5 Some locals speculatethat a Clyde Barrow gang member,whose trial was held at the courthouse,

put a curse on the building. New Jersey also has its share of

haunted courthouses. Workers at theUnion County Courthouse in Elizabethclaim sightings of a ghostly figure in thecorridors and at a nearby cemetery thatare said to be the spirit of HannahOgden Caldwell, a minister’s wife whosemurder during the Revolutionary War wasnever solved. The Syfy channel showGhost Hunters even devoted an episodeto it.6 And at the Gloucester CountyCourthouse in Woodbury, construction

With Halloween approaching, per-haps we should add courthouses to thepantheon of traditional scary places—and not because they induce bad mem-ories for those who didn’t prevail intheir quest for justice. Many courthousesare genuinely spooky—some mighteven say “haunted”—places.

In a scene straight out of a horrormovie, a 2015 trial at the Sevier CountyCourthouse in De Queen, Arkansas,was disrupted when about 30 bats flewinto the courtroom. Although the ensu-ing “disorder in the court” subsided whenthe lights were turned off and the trial wasrelocated, it doesn’t bode well that,according to the county’s chief adminis-trative officer, “hundreds” of bats roost ina courthouse elevator shaft.1 And lastHalloween, in St. George, Utah,dozens of Brazilian free-tailed bats hadto be removed from courtrooms, stair-wells, hallways, and ceilings at the 5thDistrict Courthouse.2

While bat infestations are creepyenough, there are courthouses through-out the country that some people swearare inhabited not just by lawyers andjudges but also by ghosts. You couldpractically do a haunted courthousestour in Arkansas. In 2009, workers atthe Desha County Courthouse inArkansas City, including former CountyJudge Mark McElroy (now a state rep-resentative), reported “spiritual activity”by a ghost they nicknamed Willard, aswell as sounds of crying and movinglights. Local legend alleges that it allbegan when the clock tower ceasedfunctioning properly because of a curseby a condemned man who was hanged

BY JOHN G. BROWNING

Summons From the GraveCourthouses across the U.S. claim visitsfrom ghosts of the long gone.

Page 2: and trial excerpts, cartoons, jokes, and ideas to tbj

been forsaken for bigger, more modernbuildings—these stories of hauntedcourthouses with shadowy figures,unexplained noises, and objects thatinexplicably move serve as remindersof our country’s fascinating history. TBJ

Notes1. Bats Cause Mayhem, Send People Screaming From

Arkansas Court, Associated Press, Jan. 30, 2015,http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/offbeat/bats-cause-mayhem-send-people-screaming-from-arkansas-court/ar-AA8MhWa.

2. Dozens of Bats Invade Utah Courthouse, AssociatedPress, Nov. 1, 2014, http://www.bigstory.ap.org/article/46019253096545bf8e9db79f882215a6/dozens-bats-invade-utah-courthouse.

3. Mike Linn, Case of the Courthouse Curse, ArkansasDemocrat Gazette, Dec. 27, 2008, http://www.arkansasonline.com/news/2008/dec/27/case-courthouse-curse-20081227/.

4. Clarendon Lynching of 1898, Encyclopedia ofArkansas History & Culture, July 10, 2012,http://encyclopediaofarkansas.net/encyclopedia/entry-detail.aspx?entryID=7373.

5. A Grimes County Haunting, KBTX, Oct. 31, 2008,http://www.kbtx.com/home/headlines/33637879.html.

6. Julie O’Connor, TV Ghost Hunters Searching forSpirits at Union County Courthouse in Elizabeth,Star-Ledger, March 15, 2009, http://www.nj.com/news/local/index.ssf/2009/03/tv_ghost_hunters_searching_for.html.

7. Debra Cassens Weiss, Exorcism was Arranged at Old

Courthouse, Former Official Tells Ghost Hunters, ABAJournal, March 25, 2014, http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/exorcism_arranged_at_old_courthouse_after_construction_workers_reported_str/.

8. WKYC staff, ‘Lady in Pink’ Haunts Courthouse inWooster, WKYC, Oct. 28, 2014, http://www.wkyc.com/news/article/319685/3/WATCH-Lady-in-Pink-haunts-courthouse-in-Wooster.

9. Roger Quigley, ‘Ghost Hunters’ Allowed to Film atOld County Prison and Courthouse, CumberlandCounty Commissioners Say, PennLive, Oct. 27,2014, http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2014/10/cumberland_county_commissioner_163.html.

10. Navajo County Courthouse Ghosts, Most HauntedPlaces in America, Sept. 21, 2013, http://www.ghosteyes.com/navajo-county-courthouse-ghosts.

11. Tom O’Connell, Hollywood Interested in ‘Haunted’Corrales Courthouse, Albuquerque Business Journal,July 15, 2007, http://www.bizjournals.com/albuquerque/stories/2007/07/16/story8.html?s=print.

JOHN G. BROWNINGis a partner in Passman & Jones inDallas, where he handles commerciallitigation, employment, health care,and personal injury defense matters instate and federal courts. He is anaward-winning legal journalist for hissyndicated column, “Legally Speak-

ing,” and the author of the Social Media and Litigation PracticeGuide and a forthcoming casebook on social media and the law.He is an adjunct professor at Southern Methodist UniversityDedman School of Law.

754 Texas Bar Journal • October 2015 texasbar.com

HUMOR

workers, employees, and elected offi-cials reported strange noises and lightswhen old jail cells were being removedfor a renovation project. One cell hadhoused an inmate who committed suicidein the 1980s, and some theorized thatthis convict’s restless spirit was behindthe spooky happenings. Although familymembers of the deceased inmate heldan exorcism at the courthouse in 2014,noises continue to be reported.7

Several other states apparently playhost to a few courthouse ghosts of theirown. In Wooster, Ohio, Wayne CountyCourthouse employees claim to havecaptured spectral images of their residentghost. Court of Common Pleas JudgeMark Wiest told the local media thathe wasn’t worried, but if he ever didhave a ghostly encounter, he’d “run likehell” because he’s “not taking anychances.”8 And in Carlisle, Pennsylva-nia, Cumberland County commission-ers granted permission to the producersof Ghost Hunters to film at the 18th-cen-tury courthouse after employees reportedhearing noises, including mysteriousdoor-slamming.9 The spirits of the OldSouthwest have apparently lingered atcourthouses in Arizona and New Mex-ico. A rumored ghostly inhabitant ofthe courthouse in Holbrook, Arizona,is a prostitute who died inside one ofthe jail cells.10 Navajo County employeesand visitors claim to have seen themournful, fleeting image of a womanlooking out of the courthouse windows.And in Corrales, New Mexico, whatwas once a private residence during the1860s later became Sandoval County’sfirst courthouse and is now a privatehome once again—albeit one that sup-posedly comes with a spirit. Perea Casa,as it is known, is allegedly occupied bythe ghost of a bald man with a handle-bar mustache. A former judge, perhaps,or an unhappy defendant? The specter’sidentity remains a mystery.11

Courthouses across the UnitedStates are sites rich in what so-calledghost hunters would call negative energy,having borne mute witness to emotion-ally charged cases, along with sanc-tioned executions. In an age in whichmany historic courthouses no longerfulfill their original function—having

1. Don’t give out candy to kids. You don’t want tobe partially liable for any cases of childhooddiabetes.

2. Still leave the porch lights on so no childrenfall and sue you for that, either.

3. Don’t even buy candy. You’ll eat it, and youdon’t have an extra six hours to hit up thegym. We’re getting into the serious portion ofthe semester now.

4. Don’t dress up as anything. It’s probably eitherfalse advertising or trademark infringement.

5. If you do dress up, scrutinize any costume rentalcontract closely. I don’t care how long it is.The contract, that is—not the costume. TheHalloween skirt length trend is concerning ina whole other way.

6. Set up your haunted house as a haunted lawschool. Have professors jump out of dark cor-ners and ask whether the contract had con-sideration or the evidence was hearsay. Playthe ominous ticking of an exam room clock.Then chase people around with a chain saw.

7. You can still watch a scary movie scooched

up to your crush or significant other. Hide yourface in his or her shoulder during the scaryparts. You can’t let law school take awayeverything from you.

8. Sue the scary movie producer for intentionalinfliction of emotional distress.

9. Practice outlining by carving as many notes asyou can onto one pumpkin.

10. If school friends try this, smash their pumpkins.Just don’t get caught; you should know theconsequences of destruction of property by now.

TINA SIGURDSONholds a law degree from the George-town University Law Center and aB.A. in international studies from theUniversity of Washington. She is astaff attorney at the EnvironmentalWorking Group, a nonprofit dedicatedto empowering people to live health-

ier lives in a healthier environment. Sigurdson also special-izes in chemical policy and food and cosmetics law.

Everything I Needed to Know About HalloweenI Learned in Law SchoolBY TINA SIGURDSON