an old man's legacy

8/9/2019 An Old Man's Legacy

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What do I do now?What should I do?I shall do what every man will do in my position.These were the very first thoughts running in my mind when I was left all

alone from my scouts camping trip. The bus had left half an hour ago before I realized

that they had left me. For I was too busy collecting flowers for my mother back home.It was already too dark, and too late to wander off in search of help. Using myfourteen years old brain I decided to stay in the same place where the bus haddeparted, in a false hope that the bus may return to the very place.

Coldness gradually crept over me like the foam upon the sand. There weresome remains of f irewood from last night’s camp. Using some flint stones I started afire. I sat beside the fire warming my numb body. I stole a glance at my watch, whichtold me that it was already 10 o’clock. If the bus was coming, it would have alreadybeen here.

As if I was a psychic, I heard laughter echoing in my head, from the boys atschool. I may have been a kind person, but the guys at school despised me. Why they

held a grudge was not something that I could comprehend. I mean, I never thought illof others.

Maybe I was too kind for my own good. But what can I do? I am a scout, adevoted scout, devoted to the service of mankind. One day I’ll grow up to be just likeLord Baden Powell himself. Show the path to the rest of the world. I want to becomea source of inspiration for millions. But that is just the child in me, dreaming.

A gust of wind fell over me. I held my jacket more firmly. I realized that I washungry. I opened my backpack and checked if I had any food in it. Just my luck, I hadnone, the other guys must have stolen it. I checked my pockets and found a chewinggum. Well, at least it would occupy my mouth.

I felt a chill sweeping through my spine when I realized that I would have to

spend the night there. Lucky for me, I had brought my own sleeping bag with me. Iunpacked the sleeping bag and laid it upon the grass.

I thought that I would sleep, just when I heard a rustle of leaves behind me. Iturned around grabbing a burning piece of wood. Why I grabbed the wood, I did notknow; survival instincts I guess. Instead of a wild animal that I was expecting, Ifound a staggering old man, who just collapsed. I laid down the burning wood slowly.I was not sure of what I was going to do. I went over to the old man and used all ofmy effort to bring him nearer to the fire to prevent him from getting pneumonia.

As we drew nearer to the fire I saw that the old man was bleeding. His shirtwas drenched in blood. My hands were wet and red. I began to panic. What was Igoing to do? I had no first aid kit. I was no doctor. How was I going to save this old

man from dying?I opened his shirt and used my sleeve to wipe most of the blood out of his

stomach. He had a huge wound stretching from left to right. I was certain that he wasgoing to die and there was nothing that I could do to save him. All that I could do wasto prolong his life.

But did the old man want to live? All the time I was with him he made noplea. He just looked up at me with an awkward smile upon his face. His eyes twinkledin the dim firelight.


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Getting my bearings straight, I took his shirt and tied it out around his waist. Idid not know if that was the right thing to do. All I could think of was to stop theblood flow. I did not think that it may infect the blood.

I moved my lips to ask how did he get the wound, but I couldn’t ask. It did notseem right. All I could mutter was, “should I go and get help?”

His tired smile changed into a frown. He said, “No, it’s already too late, noforces on earth can save me anymore. All that I ask is for companionship till my lastbreath. Can you do that for me?”

How should I have reacted, I do not know but all I did then was to nod myhead. His smile came back and somehow I felt relaxed, I felt relieved. I did what Icould, my conscience was clear. If the old man wanted to die, so be it, why should Iinterfere? I am not God to decide who lives and who dies. None of us are.

The old man said thank you and closed his eyes for a little why. When heopened his eyes he muttered, “Water” I took out my water bottle and gave the oldman some water. Somehow I also felt thirsty, but the bottle was empty when I placedit to my lips. The old man apologized.

“That’s alright; you needed it more than I did.” The old man nodded approvingly and said, “You are clever and intelligent for

your age.” “No I am not,” I retaliated, “If I was smart then I wouldn’t have missed my

bus.” “You did not miss your bus; you stayed behind so that you could give me some

company. It’s God’s will.” What he said did not make much sense to me, but I stayed quite.“You do not believe in God, do you?” asked the old man to me. “No I don’t.” “Why?”

“Because if there is a God, somewhere, then why does he let us, his children,suffer? Why cause all the pain and sorrow?”

The old man winced before he spoke, “We all are God’s children because wecan endure pain and sorrow. When we endeavor pain, we really know what it is liketo live. Suppose you are a father, and your son wants to have a skateboard. Well, youtell him it is dangerous and risky. What do you do when he doesn’t listen to you?”

“Umm…” “You let him play in his own accord. When he falls down and wounds

himself, he knows that skateboarding is injurious and decides to play it safe. Being afather, you do not wish to inflict pain on your own offspring, but there are timeswhen they need to learn the hard way. That is why God lets us feel pain and sorrow,

so that we may know the real joy of being happy.” I was silent. The old man was beginning to make sense. Everything has a

purpose, a destiny. We all play an important role in the world.“Your lost someone dear to you when you were young right?” said the old

man.“Yes, my uncle, how did you find out?” “You can only lose faith in God when he takes someone close to you away.” “Did you lose some as well?”


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“Yes.” “And yet you still have faith in God?” “No.” “Why?” “Because, I am going to die. That’s why.”

“What do you mean?” “I had faith in God, because I hoped that he would show me how to live.” “I still do not get you.” “God gave us life, but did not show us how to live it. He left that entirely unto

us. Only we can do what makes us most alive. We all strive for that moment of bliss.For that period of time and sensation, and I still have yet to find mine. I believe indestiny, and I feel that destiny is that moment of glory but I haven’t reached mydestiny, haven’t fulfilled my purpose. That’s why I lost faith in God. If there was aGod, I would still live until I found my blaze of glory.”

“Oh.” That was what I could say. I knew that the old man was expecting meto say something different, because he looked away. He shifted his position before he

spoke.“What do you think is your purpose?” My purpose; I never viewed my life in terms of a purpose. All I knew was that

I wanted to serve others and make their lives better and peaceful. I guess that it wasmy purpose.

“I think my purpose is to help other.” “What a noble thought indeed, but it is one that you can never attain.”’ I was shocked, “Why do you say so?” “Your view on help is ideal, and there is no room for ideal in this world. Ideal

is absolute and there is only relative in this world.” “I’m sorry, but I do not get you.”

“You said that you want to help others , but how can you help others if you donot help yourself first? But when you do help yourself, you can never be able to helpothers because your wants are unlimited. You first must be happy in order to spreadhappiness, but you can never be happy all the time. Well, at least not long enough tospread it to the world.”

“But I do not want to help others by spreading happiness. I want to spread loveand brotherhood.”

“Ah, the true voice of a scout, but do you know what scouting is actually allabout?”

“Isn’t it about helping other?” “No, it’s about helping oneself.”

“But, that sounds selfish. Scouting is not about being selfish.” “Everybody is selfish. We all are controlled by our inner desires. You do what

you think is right because you want to be a better person, so that everyone wants to bewith you. Everybody dreams of being famous and likeable. This is selfishness. All ofus are only thinking in terms of ‘me’, ‘myself’ and ‘mine’. And scouts promotes us tobe able, better and smarter beings.”

“I never thought of this through this perspective.”


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“But this is not where scouting ends. Once you become competen t, you passon these talents to others making them able to survive in the world. Scouting is allabout making us independent. ‘the whole object of scouting is to seize the boy’scharacter in its red hot state of enthusiasm and wield it in the right shape and toencourage and develop it individuality so that the boy may educate himself to become

a Goodman and a valuable citizen for his country.’ This was what Lord Baden Powelhad said.” “So, being independent is selfish?” “What do you think?” “To some extent, yes, although we do not burden other people with the

fulfillment of our needs, we do not want to be indebted to others.” “Exactly, you catch on quick.” “Were you a scout?” “I was, once upon a time.” “What do you mean?” “When I was little, about your age, I was a scout, patrol leader to be exact, but

I lost interest, because I did not get what I was looking for so I chose a differentpath.”

“So you left scouts just like that?” “Yes.” “What were you looking for?” “Salvation” “You were searching for salvation at such an early age?” “Yes and why not? I led a miserable life. I wanted happiness. I went to look

for happiness but little did I know that happiness comes looking for you.” “What was the other way?” “I don’t know. I never found it. That is why I regret leaving scouts. Looking

back Scouts made me a better person. I developed great thinking skills, leadershipqualities, teamwork and above all the ability to love all of God’s creation.”

“I thought you did not believe in God.” “No, my dear child, you have misunderstood between belief and faith.” “How can they be different?” “Belief is what we feel or think exists or is true. Faith is entirely different.

Faith is hope, a kind of dependency. I believe that there is a God and he created thisworld with a huge plan us all, but I do not feel that God will do everything for us. Wechoose what will become of our doings.”

“Uh-huh” I understood what the old man was saying. The old man began to cough. He gazed out into the woods, and got lost in his

own thoughts.I was deeply impressed by what the old man had to say. He had years of

knowledge and intellect more than that of anyone; I had even known or heard of.I asked him, “How did you get yourself wounded?” The old man sighed, “it is something that does not concern you.” “You haven’t even asked me my name.”


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“That is because I don’t need to know. My name may seem valuable to you buttrust me that it isn’t. All that I will be to you is an old man who died in yourpresence.”

“Don’t you think that I could be traumatized by that?” “No you won’t be.”

“How can you be so sure?” “I am sure because you have two choices: to be traumatized or not to be. Andthe choice is entirely yours and I know that you will not be traumatized.”

“How can you be so sure, again?” “There are just some things that I know. Just leave it at that, will you?” “Okay.” The old man was making me sacred. His face seemed more wrinkled than it

was when I first met him. His skin was paler and his voice more dry.” “What is the most important time of the day?” asked the old man. He was not

looking at me but staring towards the sky.“Umm…right now this second because it is the time that is happening, the

moment that I am living, the past is gone and the future is yet to come.” “And who is the most important person?” “The person who is next to me is the most important person as I am spending

this time with him, no one else.” “And what is the most important thing to do?” “Helping the person next to me is the thing to do, because he needs my undue

attention more than anyone else.” “Yes what a noble thought indeed.” “But these are not my sayings; I picked them up from a story, when I was

smaller.” “I know.”

“Then why did you ask me those questions?” “I asked the question just to remind you, and everyone else, of the basic aim of

how to live a life.” “Who do mean by everyone else?” “I trust you to convey our short conversation to everyone you know, in that

way, this old man shall be immortalized and shall reach his salvation.” “In other words you are going to use me.” “Yes that is why I thank you again. Thank you and good night, you will need

your sleep.” Those were his final words, before he closed his eyes and fell into a sound

sleep.

It was two in the morning when I closed my eyes and thought about what theold man told me. He taught me more that I ever had in ten years.

The bright sun and the engine of a bus woke me. The fire had died out. Ilooked at the sleeping bag where the old man was lying peacefully with the samesmile on his face. The blood had dried up and the old man was dead.

It was the first time in seven years that I went upon my knees, sat beside acorpse and wept. I wept over the body of an old body whose name I do not know eventill today. The man had no ID on him and no one came to claim him as their kin.


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I asked my father to give the old man a proper cremation for him, although Iexpected my father to refuse my proposal, he smiled an arranged the funeral happily.

Now it is four years later and I remember the old man with no name. Iremember my unsaid vow to him; that is why I give you his legacy. The legacy of anold man; the legacy that marks him immortal; the legacy that was written beside his

grave; the legacy filled with tears and pain; and most importantly, I give you thelegacy of a philosopher who walked this world, on every soil; who drank the water,from every river; who breathed the air, from every valley and gave so much by takingso little.

I now realize that on the night of fear and anxiety, an old man turned to afourteen year old, to give out his message. His message: of knowing the differencebetween surviving and living; of being able to help others even when you can’t.

I give you this legacy for it is not mine to keep but for everyone to share. I giveyou this legacy as a reminder, a reminder to everyone, of the basic aim of life. I giveyou this legacy for it is an old man’s ‘blaze of glory’.

an old man's legacy

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