writing for future of children readers authors conference “policies to promote child health”...

Writing for Future of Children

Readers

Authors Conference“Policies to Promote Child Health” Future

of Children 25, no. 1April 10–11, 2014

WHAT WE WRITE

• Long, complex sentences

WHAT READERS WANT TO READ

• Shorter, simpler sentences

83 wordsIn this era of rapid technological change, it is the goal of the Library to address the information needs of each group among its diverse set of users — faculty, undergraduates, graduate students, staff and the general public. With this goal in mind, the Library endeavors to continually review and update its collections and resources to ensure that it is providing access to those tools and materials — both in print and electronically — that best meet the University’s evolving mission of scholarship.

14 wordsThe Library strives to give all its users the tools and materials they need.

WHAT WE WRITE

• Long, complex sentences

• Action expressed with nouns, adjectives and prepositional phrases

WHAT READERS WANT TO READ

• Shorter, simpler sentences

• Action expressed with verbs

Where are the verbs?

The addition of this point came in response to a question from our colleagues.

Where are the verbs?

The addition of this point came in response to a question from our colleagues.

Where are the verbs?

The addition of this point came in response to a question from our colleagues.

Where are the verbs?

The addition of this point came in response to a question from our colleagues.

This intervention is reflective of the findings about brain development and responsive to changes in the curriculum.

We added this point to respond to a question from our colleagues.

Where are the verbs?

The addition of this point came in response to a question from our colleagues.

This intervention is reflective of the findings about brain development and responsive to changes in the curriculum.

We added this point to respond to a question from our colleagues.

Where are the verbs?

The addition of this point came in response to a question from our colleagues.

This intervention is reflective of the findings about brain development and responsive to changes in the curriculum.

We added this point to respond to a question from our colleagues.

This intervention reflects the findings about brain development and responds to changes in the curriculum.

WHAT WE WRITE

• Long, complex sentences

• Action expressed with nouns, adjectives and prepositional phrases

• Passive voice, impersonal

WHAT READERS WANT TO READ

• Shorter, simpler sentences

• Action expressed with verbs

• Active voice, personal

The passive voice is a weasel

Given the high incidence of postpartum depression in this population, it was deemed advisable to add a measure of depressive symptoms to the survey.

Given the high incidence of postpartum depression in this population, I decided to add a measure of depressive symptoms to the survey.

WHAT WE WRITE

• Long, complex sentences

• Action expressed with nouns, adjectives and prepositional phrases

• Passive voice, impersonal

• Technical terms not defined

WHAT READERS WANT TO READ

• Shorter, simpler sentences

• Action expressed with verbs

• Active voice, personal

• Technical terms defined

WORDS TO EXPLAIN

Longitudinal study

“A study that follows a group of people over time”

WHAT WE WRITE

• Long, complex sentences

• Action expressed with nouns, adjectives and prepositional phrases

• Passive voice, impersonal

• Technical terms not defined

• Long, complex, or unusual words; jargon

WHAT READERS WANT TO READ

• Shorter, simpler sentences

• Action expressed with verbs

• Active voice, personal

• Technical terms defined

• Short, simple, ordinary words; no jargon

“The literature”

Research; studies; evidence

WORDS TO AVOID

Researchers; scholars; epidemiologists; etc.

A growing bodyof literature

Morbidity and mortality

Illness and death

Mortality and morbidity

WORDS TO AVOID

WORDS TO AVOID

Negatively impact

Harm; hurt

Utilize

Use

A word about contractions

It’s OK to use contractions in formal writing.

“Most types of writing benefit from the use of contractions. If used thoughtfully, contractions in prose sound natural and relaxed and make reading more enjoyable.”

—CMS 16, 5.103

Tables and figures

Tables and figures should be able to stand alone.

An intelligent person who is not in your fieldshould be able to understand a table or figureimmediately without referring to the text.

8.5inches

tall

Alas, a Future of Children page is …

5.75 inches wide

… we can’t use type smaller than 10 points

… we can’t use type smaller than 10 points.

Alas, Future of Children is in …

Black and white

Jon Wallacejdw5@princeton.edu

(609) 258-0340