verbal de-escalation techniques · verbal de-escalation techniques: stepping back from the edge 1 2...
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10/5/2015
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What is Conflict?
Behavior in which interdependent parties disagree with or oppose the thoughts, feelings, and/or actions of the other
A disagreement in which the parties involved perceive a threat to their individual needs, interests or concerns
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LEM/CRS Training 2011
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What is a Behavioral Crisis?
A crisis is a perception of an event or situation as an intolerable difficulty that exceeds the resources and coping mechanisms of the person
Unless the person obtains relief, the crisis has the potential of getting out of control
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What Is Verbal De-escalation?
Verbal de-escalation is used during potentially dangerous, or threatening, situation in an attempt to prevent persons from causing harm to us, themselves, or others
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Ways of Conflict Resolution
Violence/War
Marches/Demonstrations
Courts
Arbitration
Mediation
Negotiation
9LEM/CRS Training 2011
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Why is Conflict Resolution Important in Animal Services
Officer Safety
Interpersonal Skills
De-Escalation
Decrease assistance from PD
Another Tool
10 LEM/CRS Training 2011
Why is Conflict Resolution Important in Animal Services
Professional Skill Building and Problem Solving
Customer Service
Positive Community Relations
Promotes Professional and Positive Interactions Between ACO and Citizen
Officer Seen as a Resource
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Why is Conflict Resolution Important in Animal Services
Enhances Community Policing Programs and Mission
Officer is now the insider (Trust)
Community Empowerment
Community Control of Process
GVC
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How Do People Deal With Conflict
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Compete Hard Bargaining
Collaborate Working Together
Compromise Splitting the Difference
Accommodate Kill with Kindness
Avoid Leave it Alone
LEM/CRS Training 2011
How we Should Respond
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Style Response
Compete Dictate Solution, arrest/UOF
Collaborate Problem Solving with Parties
Compromise Warning and Agreement to Stop
Accommodate Contact with no Action
Avoid No response
LEM/CRS Training 2011
Behavioral Crisis
3 reasons that a someone may be having a behavioral crisis:
Medical condition
Substance use
Psychiatric condition: 1) thought disorder; 2) mood disorder; 3) anxiety disorder; 4) personality disorder
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Behavioral Crisis?
Crisis intervention is emotional first aid which is designed to assist the person in crisis to return to normal functioning.
The focus of crisis intervention is what’s happening here and how!
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Avoid
Maintaining continuous eye contact
Crowding or “cornering” the consumer
Touching unless you ask first or it is essential for safety
Letting others interact simultaneously with the party
Negative thoughts (“Crazy cat lady” )
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Avoid
Expressing anger, impatience or irritation
Inflammatory language (“You are acting crazy.”)
Feeling as though you have to rush or feeling like you are stuck if it takes time to get the consumer talking
Intervening too quickly or trying too hard to control the interaction by interrupting or talking over the consumer.
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Avoid
Saying “You need to calm down.”
Shouting or giving rapid commands
Arguing with the consumer
Taking the words or actions of the consumer personally
Lying, tricking, deceiving, threatening the consumer to get her to comply
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Avoid
Asking why questions. Why questions are logic-based. Persons in crisis are not logical. Typically, what ever has worked in the past in not working now. Why questions put the citizen on the defensive. ASK OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS
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Avoid
Minimizing the person’s situations as a way to elicit conversation (Things can’t be that bad, can they?)
Suggesting things will get better; they may not
Making promises that you may not be able to keep
Telling the person “I know how you feel.”
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Avoid
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DO
Speak in a calm, slow, clear voice
You may need to repeat; the consumer may be distracted
Be patient; give the situation time; time is on your side
Try to reduce background noise and distractions
Use “and” instead of “but”
Obtain relevant information from informants
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DO
Allow the consumer to ventilate“Tell me some more about that.”
Use “please” and “thank you” often
Remain friendly but firm
Ask the consumer if she needs something
Forecast: Announce your actions and movements
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DO
Accept the consumer’s feelings, thoughts and behavioral; acceptance is not easy when a consumer is behaving in a bizarre or hostile manner
Respect the dignity of the consumer without regard to sex, race, age, sexual orientation
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Respectful, Professional, Laughter!
Steer clear of the cliché sayings
Do you know why I pulled you over?
Do you have any idea how fast you were going
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I would say, as if I knew you
Good morning, how are you?
Now you’re not thinking about anything negative
The first thing the person says is, ‘I’m fine
That sets the tone…….
Now explain why you are talking with them
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Leave no room for argument
Let them know the city has a leash law and you saw them playing fetch, etc
Explain you have paperwork to complete
Ask for ID
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Leave the Drama at Home
Everyone has bad days
We all have them, but they shouldn’t interfere with your work
You can pass your bad mood on
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Don’t Get Roped in
People will say some horrible things to you
DOG CATCHER, RENTACOP, WANNA BE COP
“I don’t let negative people draw me into an argument. If they want to argue, I shorten the conversation, hand them their citation, and get out of there.”
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Simmons was on patrol with a partner once and watched the conversation escalate between the other officer and a motorist. After a verbal back-and-forth, the frustrated officer blurted out,
“You’re going to piss me off.”
“I told him, ‘You lost the battle right there.’ That’s all she wanted to hear.”
The motorist complained, and sure enough, the officer was written up.
Your work speaks for itself
Hot Buttons
People will sometimes push hot button
We all have them
Example: Person calls you “DOG CATCHER”
This is not a time to react to the words
Do not take person give your professional face
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Logic of De-Escalation
If you take a LESS authoritative, LESS controlling, LESS confrontational approach, you will actually have more control
You are trying to give the person a sense that he or she is in control
Why? Because they are in a crisis, which by definition means the person is feeling out of control. Their normal coping measures are not working at this time
34 Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College
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Introduction
• An introduction promotes communication
• Greeting
• Your name
• Your agency
• Reason for your visit
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Name
How many of you can have someone tell you their name only to have immediately forgotten it?
Use their name early and often
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VERBAL
NON VERBAL
What Are The Two Types Of Communication?
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Non Verbal Communication
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Appearance
Body Language
Command Presence
Uniform
Hygiene
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Communication Definition:
The act or process of using words, sounds, signs, or behaviors to express or exchange information or to express your ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., to someone else
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Tactical Language
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Verbal Judo vs.
Verbal KarateVerbal Karate
Unprofessional
Express Personal Feelings
Self-Referential Language -
“I - me”
Not in Contact
Off-target Reactions
Verbal Judo
Professional
Use of Words to Achieve
Professional Objectives
In Contact with Audience
Skillful Communication That
is On-Target
43Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc
Law enforcement situations have the potential for getting out of hand. Knowing how to “redirect a person’ s behavior with words” is a officers most important weapon for keeping everyone safe.
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Redirection
Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc
7 Active Listening Skills
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EMOTIONAL LABELING
PARAPHRASING AND SUMMERIZING
REFLECTING/MIRRORING
MINIMAL ENCOURAGERS AND BODY LANGUAGE
EFFECTIVE PAUSES(SILENCE)
“I” MESSAGES
OPEN – ENDED QUESTIONS
Source: Crisis Company
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Emotional Labeling
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WITHOUT JUDGEMENT, IDENTIFY WHAT THE SPEAKER IS FEELING
YOU SOUND….. YOU SEEM… I HEAR…..
Source: Crisis Company
If I were in your situation, I think I’d feel . . .
Paraphrasing And
Summarizing
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PUT THE MEANING OF THE SPEAKERS CONVERSATION INTO YOUR OWN WORDS.
PARAPHRASING: SO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR NEIGHBOR IS RUDE TO YOU?
SUMMARIZING: SO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR NEIGHBOR IS RUDE TO YOU BEAUSE HE CURSES AT YOU WHEN YOU ASK HIM TO BRING HIS DOG INSIDE.
Source: Crisis Company
Paraphrasing Examples
What I hear you saying is . . . .
If I am hearing you right . . . .
Let me see if I understand what you are saying . . .
These types of statements also summarize what has been said in the communication.
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The Art of Paraphrasing
You Can Interrupt And Not Generate Resistance
No One Will Listen Harder Than To His OWN Point of
View
It Creates Empathy - The Other Will Believe You Are
Trying To Understand
It Often Makes The Other Modify Their Initial Statement
After Hearing Their Meaning In Different Words
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Summarize
• Creates Decisiveness & Authority
• Reconnects Communication When
Temporarily Interrupted
• Checks on Understanding
• Improves Memory Retention
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Minimal Encouragers and Body Language
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USE BRIEF, POSITIVE PROMPTS AND GESTURES TO SHOW YOUR INTEREST.
UH-HUH…..RIGHT…OK…..ETC
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Source: Crisis Company
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Minimal Encouragers
Minimal encouragers are brief statements that can be either nonverbal, such as a positive nod of the head, or simple verbal responses such as Okay, Uh-huh, I see, I am listening.
Minimal encouragers demonstrate to the consumer that you are listening and paying attention, without stalling the dialogue or creating an undue interruption. Especially early in the encounter, consumers need these types of encouragers to feel that the officer is really attending to them and listening to what they are saying.
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Reflecting/Mirroring
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REPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDS
Source: Crisis Company
Reflecting
Whereas minimal encouragers provide initial confirmation that you are listening, reflecting adds another dimension to the communication. Here, you provide the consumer with evidence that you are listening by actually repeating what he or she has said. Often the reflecting response will simply consist of the last few words the consumer says. These statements should be brief and used in such a way as not to interrupt the consumer.
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DELIBERATELY PAUSE AT KEY POINTS FOR EMPHASIS. ALLOW FOR COMFORTABLE SILENCE TO SLOW DOWN THE EXCHANGE
Source: Crisis Company55
Effective Pauses(silence)
“I” Messages
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WITHOUT TURNING THE FOCUS TO YOURSELF, COMMUNICATE HOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO HELP. FOCUS ON THE PROBLEMS NOT THE PERSON.
Source: Crisis Company
OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS
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QUESTIONS THAT INVITE A NON-SPECIFIC RESPONSE
WHAT?, WHEN, HOW, TELL ME MORE ABOUT…… I’D LIKE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT HOW THE DOG WAS
Source: Crisis Company
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Open-Ended Questions
Open ended questions allow you to get more information
Open ended questions enable us to assess the consumer’s level of dangerousness
Open ended questions allow you to assess whether the consumer is in touch with reality
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Source: Crisis Company
Difficult People
A Difficult Person will always tell you no, the first time you tell them to do something, but somewhere around the second, third, or fourth time, when handled properly, 9 out of 10 will comply
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The Traditional Goal of
Professional Intervention is to
GVCGenerate
ComplianceVoluntary
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5 Universal Truths
According to Dr. George Thompson of the Verbal Judo
Institute, instead of focusing on how people are different,
we should focus on how people are the same.
1. All people want to be treated with dignity and respect.
2. All people want to be asked rather than being told to do something.
3. All people want to be told why they are being asked to do something.
4. All people want to be to be given options rather than threats.
5. All people want a second chance.
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Why do people insult?
Offensive/Defensive tactic
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Types of Verbal Assaults
Authority
Profanity
Personal Threats
Family Safety
Other Staff Members
Physical Features
Age
Sex / Sexuality
Skill / Competence
Education
Economic Status
Religion
ETC.
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How To Handle Verbal Abuse
“I ‘preciate that, but . . .”
“I understan’ that, but . . .”
“I hear that, but . . .”
“I got that, but . . .”
“I’m sorry you feel that way, but . . .”.
Note: Combination Phrases Work Best
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Natural Reaction = ConfrontationVs.
Studied Response = Deflection & Redirection
Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc
5 Types of Deflectors
Funny Word Blocks
Serious Word Blocks
Polite Threat Word Blocks
Mobilizing the Audience Word Blocks
Sudden Assault (Time Out) Word Blocks
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Funny Word Block Rules
Quick
Appropriate
Not a Counter Punch
Note: Must be delivered with the right face, tone, and body language with an non aggressive use of distance
67Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc
Three Principles of Verbal Judo
Say What You Want,
DO What I SAY unless safety is threaten.
I Have The Last ACT,
I GIVE You The Last Word!
REspect Vs. Respect.
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Communication
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The Opposite of Talking
Should Be Listening,
But for Most People
It Is Waiting…
Waiting To Interrupt!Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc
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L.E.A.P.S
A basic tool for generating compliance
L. Listen
E. Empathize
A. Ask
P. Paraphrase
S. Summarize
70Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc
Listening Components
Words
Tone of Voice
Facial Expressions
Body Language
Context of the Situation
Distance / Positioning
71Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc
L.E.A.P.S. Concept
Empathize
• To See Through The Others Eyes
• Construct A Verbal Means To Relate To
The Subject
• You Do Not Have To Agree… Simply
Understand The Others Perspective
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L.E.A.P.S. Concept
Ask (Five Types of Questions)
• Fact Finding
• General
• Direct
• Leading
• Opinion Seeking
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Tactical Empathy
Tactical Empathy refers to the active intelligence gathering of a professional investigator who is attempting to learn what a person is thinking in an attempt to learn how to generate voluntary compliance, cooperation, and collaboration.
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Communication
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RESPOND To The Meaning,
Never REACT To The Words.
Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc
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What Are You Saying
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ONE STUDY AT UCLA INDICATED THAT UP TO 93% OF COMMUNICATION EFFECTIVENESS IS DETERMINED BY NONVERBAL CUES
Effective Communication
words we use7%
body language
55%
tone of voice38%
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There are over 700,000 possible body motions we can make
Mind over matter A. Polya79
Voice
• 33 - 40%
• How you Say It
If there’s a contradiction betweenContent & Voice, which should you believe?
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It’s Not What You Say,It’s HOW You Say It!
I Never
Said He
Stole
The Money81
Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc
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Tactical 8 Step Concept
1. Appropriate Greeting with Name, if Known
2. Identify Yourself / Assignment, if Unknown
3. Explain Reason For The Contact
4. Any Justifiable Reason For… If Needed
5. Ask for Identification if Unknown / Required
6. Additional Information – Wellness Check
7. Decision Stage
8. Appropriate Close
Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc
Crisis Intervention Concept
Pre-Intervention Preparation
1 . Calm yourself , autogenic breathing.
2 . Center yourself , get focused.
3 . Develop a strategy for intervention.
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Autogenic Breathing
Breathe in for a count of 3
Hold breath for a count of 3
Exhale for a count of 3
Repeat as needed, until heart rate is under control
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Crisis Intervention Concept
Crisis Intervention Format
1. Attempt to get person’s attention.
2. Check on their perception of reality.
3. Attempt to establish a rapport.
4. Explain your perception of reality.
5. Move towards resolution .
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Verbal Judo Street Maxims
It’s Not Enough To BE Good, You Have To LOOK Good & SOUND Good, or It’s NO Good!
Never Step On One’s Personal Face!
The Goal Is To Be RESPECTED On The Streets!
People Are Like Steel - When They Lose Their Temper They Are Useless!
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Not feeling heard Not getting what they want (or need) Not feeling important (just a number) Frustrated Confused All of the ABOVE!
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Why Someone Becomes Upset
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Examples
East Elmendorf – Pit Bull impoundment
North Chandler – English Bulldog
Attorney cited for a dog bite
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Barriers to Effective Communication
Barriers to communication are the things that keep the meaning of what is being said from being heard:
Pre-judging
Not listening
Criticizing
Name-calling
Engaging in power struggles
Ordering
Threatening
Minimizing
Arguing 89
Be Water, My Friend
“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless ‐ like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”
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