the unofficial goldman sachs guide to being a man _ business insider india

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The Unofficial Goldman Sachs Guide To Being A ManGSELEVATOR (HTTP://WWW.BUSINESSINSIDER.COM/AUTHOR/GSELEVATOR?IR=C) 9 SEP 10, 2013, 11.49 PM

We'veallseenandperhapsgrowntiredofguidesandliststhatareripewithtediousclichesandfullofhumdrumregurgitatedmemewisdom.

Forthatveryreason,@GSElevator(https://twitter.com/GSElevator)incollaborationwithJohnCarney(@Carney(https://twitter.com/carney))presentsafreshandhopefullythoughtfullookatwhatitmeanstobeamantoday.

Stoptalkingaboutwhereyouwenttocollege.

Alwayscarrycash.Keepsomeinyourfrontpocket.

Rebelfrombusinesscasual.Burnyourkhakisandwearasuitorjeans.

It'sokaytotradethepossibilityofyour80sand90sformoreguaranteedfuninyour20sand30s.

Thebestpublicrestroomsareinhotels:TheSt.RegisinNewYork,Claridge'sinLondon,TheFullertoninSingapore,tonameafew.

Neverstayoutaftermidnightthreenightsinarow...Unlesssomethingreallygoodcomesuponthethirdnight.

Youwillregretyourtattoos.

Neverdateanexofyourfriend.

JoinTwitter(https://twitter.com/GSElevator)becomeyourowncuratorofinformation.

Ifridingthebusdoesn'tincentivizeyoutoimproveyourstationinlife,nothingwill.

Timeistooshorttodoyourownlaundry.?

Whenthebartenderasks,youshouldalreadyknowwhatyouwanttodrink.

Ifyouperspire,wearadamnundershirt.(http://www.businessinsider.com/howtodressthepartonwallstreet20138)

Youdon'thavetolikebaseball,butyoushouldunderstandtheconceptofwhatapitcher'sERAmeans.Approachlifesimilarly.

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Whenpeopledon'tinviteyoutoaparty,youreallyshouldn'tgo.?Andsometimesevenwhenyouareinvited,youshouldn'tgo.??

Peoplearetiredofyoubeingthefunny,drunkguy.?

Whenindoubt,alwayskissthegirl.

Tipmorethanyoushould.

Youprobablyuseyourcellphonetoooftenandatthewrongmoments.?

Buyexpensivesunglasses.Superficial?Yes,butsoarethewomenjudgingyou.Andittellsthesewomenyouappreciatenicethingsandareresponsibleenoughnottolosethem.

Ifyouwantaniceumbrella,bringash*ttyonetochurch.

Do50pushups,situps,anddipsbeforeyoushowereachmorning.?

Eatbrunchwithfriendsatleasteveryotherweekend.LeaveRustyandJuniorathome.

Bearegularatmorethanonebar.

Actlikeyou'vebeentherebefore.Itdoesn'tmatterifit'sintheendzoneattheSuperBowloronaprivateplane.

Aglassofwineortwowithlunchwillnotruinyourday.?

It'sbetterifoldmencutyourhair.AskforSammyattheMandarinOrientalBarbershopinHongKong.HecansharehisexperiencesoftheJapaneseoccupation,orjustgiveyouacopyofPlayboy.

Learnhowtoflyfish.

Noselfies.Aspiretoexperiencephotoworthymomentsinthecompanyofabeautifulwoman.

Ownahandcraftedshotgun.It'sabeautifulthing.

There'salwaysanotherlevel.Justbecontentknowingthatyouarestillbetteroffthanmostwhohaveeverlived.

Youcangetawaywithalotmoreifyou'retheonebuyingthedrinks.

Askforasaladinsteadoffries.?

Don'tsplitacheck.

Prettywomenwhoareunaccompaniedwantyoutotalktothem.

Cobblerswillsaveyourshoes.Sowillshoetrees.

Whenabartenderbuysyouaround,tipdouble.??

Theclicheisthathavingmoneyisaboutnotwastingtime.Butinreality,moneyisaboutfacilitatingspontaneity.

Bespontaneous.

FindaTimesNewRomaninthestreetsandaWingdingsinthesheets.Sheexists.

Piercingsareliabilitiesinfights.?

Donotuseanelectricrazor.?

Dessertsareforwomen.Orderoneandpretendyoudon'tmindthatshe'seatingyours.?

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Buyatuxedobeforeyouarethirty.Staythatsize.?

Onegirlfriendatatimeisprobablyenough.?

#StopItWithTheHastags

Yourtiesshouldberolledandplacedinasectionedtiedrawer.?

Throwparties.?Buthavesomeoneelsecleanupthenextday.

YoumayonlyrequestonesongfromtheDJ.?

Measureyourselfonlyagainstyourpreviousself.

Takemorepictures.Withacamera.

Placedroppingisworsethannamedropping.?

Whenyouadmiretheworkofartistsorwriters,tellthem.?Andspendmoneytoacquiretheirwork.??

Yourclothesdonotmatch.Theygotogether.?

Yes,ofcourseyouhavetobuyherdinner.?

Stayingangryisawasteofenergy.?

Revengecanbeagoodwayofgettingoveranger.??

Ifsheexpectsthepersonyouare20%ofthetime,100%ofthetime,thenshedoesn'twantyou.

Alwaysbringabottleofsomethingtotheparty.??

Avoidthat"last"whiskey.You'veprobablyhadenough.?

Don'tusetheword"closure"oreverexpectitinreallife.TheremaystillbeamortallywoundedRussianmobsterroamingthewoodsofsouthJersey,butwe'llneverknow.

Ifyouarewittierthanyouarehandsome,avoidloudclubs.?

Drinkoutdoors.?Andduringtheday.?Andsometimesbyyourself.

Datewomenoutsideyoursocialset.You'llbesurprised.?

Ifit'sgotvelvetropesandlines,walkawayunlessyouknowsomeone.?

Youcannothavealoveaffairwithwhiskeybecausewhiskeywillneverloveyouback.?

Feigningunpretentiousnessisworsethanbeingpretentious.CutitoutwiththevintagePoloandthat'83WagoneerinNantucket.

TheNewYorkerisnothighbrow.NeitherisTheEconomist.?

Ifyoubelieveinevolution,youshouldknowsomethingabouthowitworks.

Noonecaresifyouareoffended,sostopit.?

Nevertakeanexback.Shetriedtodobetterandissettlingwithyou.

Eatingoutalonecanbemagnificent.Findaplacewhereyoucansitatthebar.

Readmore.Itallowsyoutoborrowsomeoneelse'sbrain,andwillmakeyoumoreinterestingatadinnerpartyprovidedthatyoudon'tinitiateconversationwith,"So,whoareyoureading..."

Ignoretheboos.Theyusuallycomefromthecheapseats.

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Hookersaren'tcool,butremember,thefreeonesarealotmoreexpensive.

Don'teversay,"itiswhatitis."

Startawinecollectionforyourkidswhentheyareborn.Addafewcaseseveryyearwithouttellingthem.It'llmakeaphenomenalgiftintwentyyears.

Don'tgambleiflosing$100isgoingtopissyouoff.

Remember,"rulesarefortheobedienceoffoolsandtheguidanceofwisemen."

Thislisthasbeenauthoredby@GSElevator(https://twitter.com/GSElevator),butisacollaborativeeffortbetweenTwitter's@GSElevator(https://twitter.com/GSElevator)andJohnCarney(@Carney(https://twitter.com/carney)).

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Insider9 Newest Oldest ApplyToBeAn"Insider"

vikram(banglore)on02Dec,201409:17PMsaid:

Icandothisalltum..

MitwaSharma(NewDelhi,India)on30Dec,201310:35AMsaid:

AlthoughI'mawomanandnotaman,Itotallylovethis!

piyushbakshi(India)on07Oct,201307:46PMsaid:

Couldsomeoneinformmeonwhyafullstop/periodprecedeseachquestionmark?

JSH(India)on07Oct,201310:59AMsaid:

Puta'?'(questionmark)whereitisneeded.Youcanthinkaboutbeingamansooner...

rkgupta(Ethiopia)on03Oct,201312:10PMsaid:

Howareyou

NeerajSaraf(Mumbai)on06Jul,201411:05AMsaid:repliestopiyushbakshi

Brilliantobservation!Goodpoint!

Vallabhsahani(Mumbai)on28Sep,201312:51AMsaid:

Intrestingarticle

Gugg(Dfw)on12Sep,201309:17PMsaid:

Hi

1 2 Reply

upensingh(delhi)on12Sep,201312:10AMsaid:

Thoughtfularticle

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