the ultimate texting guide for men
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The Ultimate Texting Guide
The Ultimate Texting Guide by Tyler Tray © 2008, All Rights Reserved
www.TipsToTexting.com
The Ultimate Texting Guide
FOR MEN
Never wonder what to text again!
Over 101 proven txt messages to build attraction, get you a date and more!
By Tyler Tray
Legal Disclosures
Distributing, copying, altering and/or selling are all prohibited This book took way too much time, blood, sweat and life to have it passed around to everybody like candy on Halloween. It’s illegal to sell, alter, copy, or distribute this book or any works from this book. Please don't lose your character over a small amount of money. We wrote this book to help improve your life. Please protect that and keep it to yourself. If you know someone who has copied this information, report them in and you will receive $50 from us after we confirm they have illegally stolen this information and they have been prosecuted.
Production All Rights Reserved to Dating Secrets LLC © 2008 Disclaimer By purchasing or reading this book you agree to the following: You are accountable for your own actions. The information throughout this book is for entertainment purposes only. Information can be interpreted and understood many different ways. I have written down my understanding on the subjects in the book. If you use any information in this book, all results you receive are at your own risk.
Giving Back 10% of all royalties are donated to a not‐for‐profit charitable fund. We donate the money towards projects that go to benefit people who are in dire need of help.
Content ‐ To visit a topic, simply click the title or heading ‐
Introduction
Overview
So what is attraction Section #1
Most guys fail text messaging because
How men succeed at text messaging
Section #2
Underlying philosophy in relationships
The purpose of text messaging
Text or call
When you want to meet up
Guidelines for texting Section #3
How to flirt
The key points to flirting
Three easy ways to flirting
Section #4
Making the first initial text ‐ killer text messages
Text messages to create attraction
The four step process to meeting up
Section #5
Real life text messaging examples
Texting Conversation #1
Texting Conversation #2
Texting Conversation #3 Bonus Section #6
Making the phone call
5 points to hit when talking to her on the phone
Decoding a woman’s text
Section #7
Safety concerns for text messaging
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Introduction
Overview
Text messaging has rapidly grown in the past few years. Starting
in 2005, text messaging has more than doubled every year and it’s not
going to stop any time soon. ZDNet Research stated there will be 2.3
trillion text messages sent by 2010. With those facts, it’s clear that if a
man wants to be successful with women, he must understand how to
text message. It’s a simple skill, but so many men fail to recognize how
crucial it is and they miss opportunities because of that.
A while back I realized this evolution in communication and put a
lot of time into maximizing my ability in it. Truth is, I am more of a
quiet guy because my voice is bad (hoarse and scratchy) most of the
year and I knew text messaging would be my way to overcome that
crux. The first step I took was not to meet women, but instead, just get
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their numbers. I did this through online dating, and quick approaches.
My best “quick approach” went something like this…
I would walk up saying a few words that built rapport (meaning
feeling or relating about the same thing) and then in an urgent way I
would take off and before leaving say, “Hey, I got to go. Here, put your
number in my phone, we’ll keep in touch.” From that I would start
building on my texting techniques and strategies. Within a few months
of trial and error, I started to see a drastic change in my success with
women. Because of my texting abilities, a lot of guys started seeing this
increase of women wanting to be with me and I started getting a lot of
questions from them about what to text. The more I coached, the more
I started to see the big picture of where guys were screwing up and how
to exactly be successful at text messaging. And that’s what brought me
to writing the first ebook ever written for texting, The Ultimate Texting
Guide.
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Most men that read this eBook will have a paradigm shift and
they might finish the ebook saying, “Oh, that’s how you text women to
build attraction.” I say this because most men are only texting men and
friends and have very little knowledge in texting women they desire.
This means their usual style of texting friends will carry over into texting
the women they like and it doesn’t work, because you don’t talk to your
friends the same way you talk to a woman. To be successful with
women you must be able to flirt and build attraction and sexual
tension. One of the most important points to this ebook is to show you
and give you the understanding of what it’s like to really create
attraction with women.
Before we start into the actual texting part, you need to
understand a few important points. First, you need to understand that
women are different from men and will respond in different ways. I am
going to present to you what works for me and the men that I’ve
coached. You should take what you learn and then change things up a
bit to match your style. Keep in mind however that staying true and
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being congruent to a certain way of texting and being gets the most
results in the end. Also, women will test you to see if you are the real
deal and it’s crucial that you can keep going and not miss a beat.
Women will see that you are in control and eventually they will come
around and respond exactly the way you want. I’m not saying to be
controlling but that you have to have control over your emotions and
don’t buy into her tests.
Now here is the key where most men fail: To be successful with
women you must communicate to them at their level… their Emotional
Level! Really think about this: Why do men want to be with women?
Why do women want to be with men? What do you really think is the
answer? There are a lot of different answers to these questions but the
one thing that’s universal is that we all want a feeling. And feeling is
what drives our lives; especially women’s lives. Think about it, what do
you feel when you are with an attractive woman or are even around
one? That’s a feeling that’s triggered from the attractive woman and it
pulls you towards her. The most important “feeling” that will get any
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woman to want you is attraction. Without attraction, a woman can’t
“feel” anything for you.
So What Is Attraction?
First, the great part about attraction is that Attraction is an
uncontrollable feeling and it’s a biological response. Women don’t
logically feel attracted to a man. They have a gut‐level emotional
response that creates attraction. Women need to feel attraction in
order to desire and fall in love. What do you think is the best way to
trigger these emotions? I have found that experiences or thinking of an
experience is the best way. Obviously, you can’t physically experience
being playful with a woman via text; but you can, however, give her
those same feelings that come with playing.
I want you to do something. Take in a deep breath and hold it for
a few seconds… then, let it go all the way until you are fully relieved. Do
it one more time and notice how you feel. Now, think back to the time
when you first rode a big roller coaster. Go through the steps as to how
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you felt. First, you’ll feel a little anxiety and danger for your life as you
step inside the cart and give over your power and control to this ride.
What is the feeling as it takes you up the first hill? The tension in your
body is building suspense towards the top. Once at the top, you hold
your breath in anticipation. Now what? A complete rush as you
plummet to the ground! What happens at the bottom of the hill… a
sense of relief, right. How about when the ride is over? It’s now fun
and you feel safe because you’re in control again. But you now crave
that roller coaster feeling again. Close your eyes and imagine this in
your own mind. Breathe in at the top of the hill and out as you go
down… feel the relief at the end of your breath and notice how it is
taken away again as you zoom up the next hill or loop. This is the
natural feeling that comes in wave or rhythm, if you will.
Now what was the difference between that little process you did
and actually going on the roller coaster? There’s only a slight difference
between actually being there, experiencing the roller coaster, and
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actually experiencing it in your mind. They both trigger the same
emotions.
Think of how reality TV shows are using this model. Reality
shows are always simple, easy‐going situations and everything goes just
dandy… Not even close! People want the intensity of feeling the ups
and downs in the show ‐ we love watching the arguments and then we
love watching them settle down and make friends again. Feeling is
strongly connected to your breathing. Next time you are with a
woman, notice your own breathing when talking to her and your rise
and fall in your emotional state. Observe this, as well in the women
you interact with. Say something that gets them to hold their breath in
anticipation, and then let her feel relieved to exhale and breathe again.
Women are hoping to find guys to give them this emotional roller
coaster. What makes riding on a street bike so appealing to a woman?
Put yourself in her place. She is giving up her control to you. She may
be a little nervous and reluctant, but the excitement is too intriguing
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because her life is potentially at risk. The ride is usually fast and
somewhat dangerous. She gets that rush of exhilaration. When it’s
over, she feels a sense of relief that the danger is over and at the same
time feeling an adrenaline rush. As long as it wasn’t too dangerous she
will now trust you and feel more comfortable being protected around
you. And the best part is now she has a feeling connected to you and
that is never going to leave.
Women thrive off emotion or chemical interactions. Stimulate
their feelings; take them on an emotional roller coaster and make sure
you keep her on her toes. Try to keep it positive, but remember,
negative feelings can be good too. Keep it light and fun and then jump
into serious stuff and then back to light and fun. Whatever you do,
don’t be boring. Boredom is one of greatest fears in life. Why is that?
Because there is no feeling in boredom. Point here is: think about
creating some kind of feeling in all of your text messages.
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Section #1
Most guys fail at text messaging because…
• They come across too nice.
• They text the full 160 characters while a woman is only texting
less than 20.
• They say too much and are too nice saying it.
• They try having a conversation via text. Save the whole
conversation thing for when you’re in person or at least on the
phone.
• They follow the woman’s flow of conversation and answer all of
her questions.
• They don’t ask them out to do something.
• They don’t try to get to know the girl
• They don’t include the woman in their responses. Women are
more interested when something involves them. So try to relate
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things back to her. Implying her involvement in something is a
creative way to do that.
• Their texts aren’t written to be responded too. For example, if a
woman writes “Hey, what did you do last night?” and the
response she gets is, “Went to the movies.” It leaves her with
nothing, no emotion, no fun, just dullness. Instead, say
something like “Hey, I saw a movie and it got me thinking about
you.” She says something like “Oh really, what’s that?” Then say
something like “There was this adorable little puppy, that whined
like you.”
• They have long messages that make too much sense. Keeping a
text logical is boring. Instead, spice it UP!
• They are always available when a woman texts them.
• They write boring texts. Instead use punctuation, like ALL CAPS,
exclamation marks, question marks, etc. Every so often use a
smiley face☺. Use descriptive words and adjectives. Match the
feeling of the text that fits the emotions involved in what you’re
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writing. For instance, if I saw a movie, I’m not going to be all
excited like “Hey! I just saw a movie!”
• Texting “Ok” is a waste of a text. If it must be said then follow it
with something like “Ok, talk to ya later.”
• They seek the woman’s approval.
• They agree to everything she wants and says instead of putting
up a challenge.
How men succeed in the texting game…
• They write short, witty, fun text messages that get the girl in an
emotional state.
• They don’t answer questions, but lead the conversation.
• They don’t seek approval.
• They are a challenge for the woman.
• They tell women what they are doing and suggest or imply they
come too. They never invite or ask: “Hey I’m going to go out, you
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got time for some fun?” or “I want to get to know you better so
come join me for dinner.”
• They banter back and forth and leave the interaction on a high
note, by either not responding back or talking to them later or by
ending it.
• They have high value and high status so they are busy with their
lives and women can pick up on that vibe.
• They know how to have fun and be social so women don’t get a
needy feeling.
• They lead exciting adventurous lives and women get a feel of that
in the text messages.
• They are interesting, mysterious, and challenging.
• They end the interaction first either by saying “see ya later” or
just dead air, meaning no more responding. They have high value
or appear to have high value. Do you think Brad Pitt is going to
sit there and text back and forth forever or respond immediately
after he gets a text? The point is the busier you are with your life
the more important you become. This is a good thing in case you
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missed it. Your time is valuable and anytime you are with a
woman she will then feel valuable.
Men succeed in texting because they are aware of what women
respond desirably to and can think about what they’re going to say and
be creative about it. Texting is perfect for developing better skills in
communicating with women. I say this because women are generally
more experienced communicators. So being able to think about what
you’re going to say and saying it the right way gives you a great
advantage.
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Section #2
Before you start sending text messages, it’s important to
understand why you want women in your life so you can create the
right approach. You need to understand the real purpose in texting and
the difference between texting and calling. And lastly, you need to get
yourself in the right mindset for what kind of guy to be whenever text
messaging women.
Underlying philosophy in relationships
• Attraction ‐ she’s your little fling
• Connection ‐ she’s your best friend
• Attraction and Connection ‐ she’s your girlfriend
Decide what you want and need to work on. If you want a
girlfriend, then you must first know how to attract a woman, and then
develop a deep level of connection/rapport. Getting to a deeper
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connection allows a woman to open up and be vulnerable. You will
often here a woman say something like “He sees something in me that
no one else sees.”
If you want to just find women for a good time, then you must
think about creating sexual tension. For a fling relationship, you need
to have both connection and sexual tension in the relationship. This is
where you bag on her, flirt, tease, and imply things together. This is a
seductive game that has to be played a certain way.
The purpose of text messaging
“The purpose of text messaging is to flirt, create a little connection,
and get a woman thinking about you.”
Texting is another great tool to meet up with women and allows
you to come across in many different ways. Always aim to get an
emotional reaction ‐ such as the possibility of danger, being somewhat
kind, challenging her, giving her doubt about you liking her, showing
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interest, or not showing interest. When you use a combination of
these, it will leave her always wondering about you and where she
stands. This by itself gets you on her mind. Remember, once a woman
knows you and knows what you will do, she will stop thinking about
you. Be creative and uncertain so she can not pin you down.
Attraction is a feeling that you need her to feel to get her to
desire you. But most importantly that feeling has to be backed up with
consistent thought. Meaning, the more you think about someone, the
more you want to be with that person. This is the beauty of texting:
regardless of the time of day or who she’s with, you can stay in her
thoughts and she’ll keep you on her mind. Those consistent thoughts
about you are very powerful in driving her to want to see you.
Text or call?
Texting just to say “hi” in the middle of the afternoon will give
her and you a better feeling for when to call. By no means are you
communicating and/or having a long conversation via text. You are
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simply writing her “notes” to get her feeling good about you and to
work yourself into her life. She has many options and so you must at
least be on her mind logistically. When you want to meet up with her,
especially if it’s the first time, give her a call and talk to her. This alone
tells her that you’re a man and not a wuss.
Now, when you do call her, remember to feel and act natural.
Relax and be yourself. Normally guys aren’t themselves around women
‐ they change. This is because beautiful women cause a response in
men. If a woman is attractive to us then we want to be pleasing to her
and seek her approval. Notice how most men communicate to really
good‐looking women. They give the woman all of their attention, are
agreeable and their body orients or mirrors the woman’s. Men think
that if they are nice and pleasing to her then she will like them. This
obviously doesn’t work. Most men treat exceptionally good‐looking
women with higher value or status than themselves. This will almost
always turn a woman off. A woman cannot feel attraction if you are
lower status than her. Status and higher value are social dynamics that
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let us know and feel comfortable with where we fit into the group or
setting.
Not knowing where you belong creates status anxiety, which
women don’t respond to very well. So being comfortable with who you
are and not seeking approval or trying to fit in, will give you higher
status. Let others conform to you. You are the leader of your life.
Have this mindset when talking and texting a woman. Talk like you’re
just friends and you don’t need her to be happy. You are the source of
your own happiness. Having this presence will be very attractive to
women especially the exceptional ones. When you’re talking to her
comfortably, it will give her the go ahead that she can relax, feel safe
and open up to connect with you. She knows through your texts that
you are fun, so she’ll have a better attitude altogether. But do call her
at times to meet up and at random to show you are a confident man to
create a better transition for when you meet up.
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Text messaging is where qualifying and the “game” come into
play. Women are great at sending mixed messages, and they respond
well when men do it to them. Sending mixed messages will get a
woman wondering if you are serious or joking ‐ like texting, “You’re fun!
Especially when you just stand there looking bored and not saying
anything.”
Put things in perspective. She is not around you and is most
likely in a logical state of mind. You must come across un‐needy. You
are busy with your own life and may think about her from time to time.
If you decide to let her know this, then text “Hey, I was just thinking
about you.” Usually, that’s all you would say. You don’t miss her. If
she replies back then you have a choice to either respond or just talk to
her later and leave her hanging. Her text should be the last one sent if
you do end up responding.
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When you want to meet up
Now remember, you are still that interesting, fun, cool guy that
she first met and you are so busy with your life and other women that
she barely even knows that you are going to ask her out. You have no
fear of loss since beauty and women are common. She wants you to
tell her when and where to meet her. Never invite or ask her ‐ a man
leads. Be confident that she likes you and that it’s her that is ruining
her chances with you. It’s all a state of mind.
Guidelines for texting
• How do I set the right tone? Keep it short and fun, flirty and
funny, charming or seductive. It should be emotional not logical.
Women create emotional connections not logical ones.
• How do I keep it fun and simple? Make them feel like they are
missing out by not being with you and don’t always give them
information. An easy way to do this is to not answer their
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questions. Keep your texts as short as possible spicing it up with
wit and other emotionally charged words. Like when I give a girl a
compliment, I sort of take it away at the same time or challenge
them. I’ll text something like “Yeah you’re fun… so far.” or
“You’re actually cute… when you’re not whining.” or in reverse
“Stop whining… even if you are good looking.”
• How to get the woman to reply back. Remember, more and
more women are getting used to flirting with text messages and
they will get that you are fun and respond back. In some cases a
few women have had some bad experiences with texting, so
don’t rely on text messaging for all your communication. But the
best way to get a reply is to ask a questions or text something
that is fun and flirty that has a pull for her to respond. For
example, I text a girl about cooking together one night and here’s
how it went: “Hey if you don’t cook you can always watch me
cook.” Her response back, “Oh whatever, you haven’t seen me in
the kitchen yet.” My response, “Uh, I’m not sure if I should be
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scared or turned on.” Her response, “Both.” I didn’t respond
back and then ten minutes later she wrote, “So what time are we
cooking tonight?”
• How to get passed a woman’s defenses. Never let her intimidate
you. Women test what kind of a man you are and will see if you
back down to her. You’re not necessarily backing her down, but
standing your ground and being comfortable with who you are
and in control. That is the kind of confidence that women love in
a man. It’s very important you show this side of you.
• What to do if a woman isn’t behaving? Don’t tolerate her
second‐rate behavior. If a woman is acting lame or dumb call her
on it or move on to the next girl. Example, “I can see you are still
trying to get over your last boyfriend. Good luck with that.” Your
time is valuable and you’re not going to let some egotistical girl
try to control you or get away with treating you badly.
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• How to avoid the wrong women in your life. You deserve the
best! Don’t ever settle. Always work on improving yourself and
understanding others. It’s never too late to be the man you
always wanted to be and have that girl of your dreams. If you
want to have quality women in your life, then you must feel at a
deep level that you are worthy of them and deserve their love.
Think about the women you are texting and if you like what she’s
doing or not. If you like it, keep going. If not, MOVE ON! Your
first thoughts and impulses are almost always right.
• How do I create closeness and comfort? Speak to her like you’re
already friends. Talk to her as if she’s right there. Most women
are natural followers and respond to what you do and say. So
you must be comfortable in order for the woman to feel
comfortable. You can say almost anything to your friends and
not worry about what they think ‐ do the same when it comes to
women. Listen to her and ask her questions on what she is
talking about ‐ this will relax her.
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• When to text back? I get a lot of guys asking me how fast or soon
to text back because they aren’t the fastest at writing a text
message or they are busy with something or they just want to
know how long to wait before responding. I intentionally don’t
respond right away. Unless I’m riding on some emotion that is
going on between us, I usually wait at least 10 minutes before
responding back. This shows a woman that I am busy and she
must work for my attention. Anytime you can be a challenge to a
woman, it’s a good thing. Also, if she writes something that you
don’t want to respond to or she is just being lame or giving
attitude, just stop and try again later, the next day or the next
week. You control what happens. Give HER the approval. Never
seek her approval. You ether need to be on the same level or
higher. You can do this by texting something like, “you can even
hold my hand” or “you can call me.” Showing approval and
qualifying is involved in every relationship ‐ it’s important you are
on the right side. This can be very subtle, it just needs to be
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present. Example: ”Don’t tell me you like to play tennis.” Or “My
friends think they know you, where did you grow up at?”
Just remember that you have equal or greater value in the
communication and relationship. Remembering this fact will help your
communication go smooth and will build attraction and prevent you
from getting rejected.
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Section #3
How to flirt
Flirting is one of the most important skills in texting. Below, I’m
going to give you everything you need to know about flirting. I’m going
to explain the key points, the mindset and a bunch of applicable texts to
get moving in the right direction.
The key points to flirting
• Don’t be nice. Kindness is good at times, but nice never works.
In fact, the word “nice” is the number one word women use
when a guy is not right for her, “He was a nice guy, but it wasn’t
there.” Since women use the word nice to kindly reject men,
then use the word nice when complimenting women. Say,
“You’re nice, you’ll make a good friend” or “It was good to
hangout with a nice girl.” A woman will recognize it’s a rejection,
and she’ll be thrown off when you use it on her.
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• Flirting in a way that sets you up for an exciting night. This is a
technique I use on girls I’m already seeing. This is an easy
technique: Start a small little bantering session early on in the
day around noon. Say some fun things so you get in her mind
logistically. Then, end the texts in a way where you leave her
hanging. Then when you do call her later on in the evening, you
can just continue where you left off.
• Creating a spark of interest then leave (dead air) “You’re cute; I
bet you got a lot of hot friends.” if she says something, it can be
anything, say “That says a lot about you.”
• Implementing all the laws of persuasion (social proof, scarcity,
urgency, reciprocation, mystery) For example: You could use
social proof by getting your friends involved by texting, “I was
just talking to my friends about you, I learned some crazy stuff”
or “Hey, a group of us are heading to a party, you coming?” You
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could also use scarcity by texting, “I’m heading up to your city
tomorrow for a day, you going to be around?” Or “Sorry it’s just
not going to work between us, so I’m taking off next week.” You
could create urgency by texting, “We need to talk.” Great way to
stay on her mind and it will bug her all day.
• Set it up that she is pursuing you, that she is seducing you.
“You’re naughty, stop trying to seduce me.” Imply that she is
naughty. This is a great way to create some sexual tension.
• Let her know you’re the man. So if she says you’re good at
something just continue and say, “Thanks, I’m glad you noticed.”
Or “Yea, I’m good at everything I do.” Or you could play it on a
more humble side, “Yea I get that a lot.” Just make sure you own
it. She is actually testing you to see if you can be confident in
yourself, never say, “No I’m not, just luck.” You will lose the
second you say this and she will move on.
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• What do you do if a woman is trying to get something out of
you? If she wants you to do something for her I keep it simple
and call her out and say, “You’re just here to use me.” It almost
always works if you call a woman out on something she is trying
to get away with ‐ especially the good‐looking women. If she
asks for something, and you know she’s trying to milk it with her
looks, I’ll approach it tactfully and say something like, “I would,
but your face isn’t pretty enough to get that from me.” It seems
mean, but those kind of women love it because no guy treats
them like that and it gives them a challenge.
• Role reversals are great flirting techniques. Like saying, “Just as
long as you make enough money to support both of us.” Or “Hey
honey how are the kids?” Playhouse and pretending
relationships are a girl’s favorite past time. Why not bring a
familiar feeling back. It sets a good tone and is a lot of fun.
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• Twist her words or find double meaning. This is best done by
implying sexual meaning. This is really easy and can be a lot of
fun. Here’s an example to demonstrate: A girl I met last night
just text me, literally while I was writing this. She was responding
to my text in which I said, “Hey! What are you doing right now?”
She says, “Just about to leave my house and go to the gym. What
about you?” She sent this right back so she has a good idea I’m by
my phone and it wouldn’t be the right time to play off that I’m
too busy to reply right back. So I ride off the moment and shoot
back, “My house isn’t the gym but nice try” She says back “Ha ha
oh man, really? I thought it was…” I say “Yeah maybe next time. I
spelled your name wrong but anyway talk to ya later”. Her
phone sends her name along with the text; which, by the way, if
your phone doesn’t do this, then the first time you write a girl put
your name in the text at the bottom. That way she won’t have to
ask who’s texting her, which is a real time waster. So back to the
text, she replies back with “Ha well you better fix it then, it’s
much better the way I spell it…later…” Anytime a girl is saying
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Ha, or laughing is a sure sign of interest. I was the first to end it
and I knew she was going to the gym so I ended it quickly. The
whole interaction lasted about 8 minutes. She is the last to say
something ‐ so now I can call or text her anytime I want.
Preferably, the next day, but the same evening works too as long
as you’re not being needy.
• Texting the next day is fine considering the relationship and
how needy you are coming across. Most guys will say wait three
days to hide any neediness or flaws in your game. That works,
but texting a few times throughout the week works great if you
use these techniques because all you’re doing is giving her
emotional value. So when texting, just keep in mind it’s like
you’re just saying hi. So if you have some fun the night before
you can comment on her performance last night, or bust on her
for her lack of performance☺. These quick little interactions back
and forth, or even just a one liner to get her thinking about you,
will help her feel she misses you when you’re gone. I like using,
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“Hey stop thinking about me.” And that’s it. Never say you miss
her even if she tries to get it from you. Just say that she crossed
your mind and that she is doing an ok job seducing you, and that
she needs to try harder for your attention.
• Talk to women in a fun way with no agenda. This was always
hard for me at first because I don’t naturally talk to girls just to
talk. I have now learned that having something fun and
interesting to talk about, asking questions and keeping it flirty
and emotionally charged always keeps me interested in
conversations. If you want to be interesting, be interested. Don’t
interview her, but be genuinely interested in who she is and what
makes her unique.
• Build rapport and connection. Relate about something that you
both do or text her something that you both experienced
together. Here’s a text conversation with a girl I met dancing and
how I created a connection, “Hey Im trying to find a girl that is 5
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foot 6 and likes to fall on her face while dancing. You know her?”
Her response, “Ha Ha Ha, thanks for the reminder.” I helped her
up after she tripped onto her face and I used that in the text and
it worked great. If you can, try to text something that relates to a
connection you have in the real world.
• Understand communication and make friends with women.
Just having the ability to comfortably hold a conversation with a
woman can give you a good break from flirting to develop
rapport. A great book to read about this is Men Are From Mars
and Women Are From Venus. It gives a great understanding of
the communication barrier between men and women. Click here
to grab a copy.
• Things start going bad, meaning she isn’t replying to your texts. I
either call her out or move on. I like to use something like, “What
is it about average girls always trying to play hard to get.” or “I
guess I am too good for you.” Or even better, just back off. Forget
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about her for a few days, even weeks, or a month while you
move on with your life. Then, you can decide to text again. A lot
of times I totally forget about them and I love it when these girls
send me texts weeks or even months after the fact.
• You got to realize that women must be selective in order to
carry out their lives. Women have many options with men and
they can’t have them wasting their time. So you need to slowly
but surely weave your life into hers so that you’re like friends or
lovers and she can’t wait to see you again.
• Value your time and let women know this by keeping
conversations short and setting up that you have to be going or
that you’re too busy and you’ll talk to them later.
• Never laugh in a text. That is for women to do. Rarely will I even
say “Ha” in a text because it destroys the tension. A smiley face
can be fun at times :) When I text a girl, I often use dry humor to
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create more suspense and mystery. Now I love to laugh and I do
it often, but when it comes to texting I find the James Bond
method to be the most effective… the slight grin on your face
while keeping your composure. Watch the face of Daniel Craig in
Casino Royale, especially the part when he says to the one
married woman, “Perhaps you’re just out of practice.” (He’s
implying that she can still be a player). If you watch that scene
you will notice that he doesn’t break his composure and has that
sly smile that tells her that he is playing with her. He doesn’t
laugh or get uncomfortable and he confidently lets her laugh off
the tension. That’s what I mean by the James Bond approach.
• Most importantly, keep it fun and flirty to where the woman
doesn’t really have to reply but you know she will be compelled
to you because your text is emotionally charged. Something Like
“Wow, I thought I was shallow.” or “I haven’t lost all respect for
you… yet.” Or “I’m just better looking than you… but I still think
you’re cute.” This playful texting is what women love to read.
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Here’s an example of a flirty text conversation I had today:
“Hey, I know you’re probably out to dinner with the folks instead of
me but how are ya?” Most women enjoy going out to eat with
friends or family, so this is an easy first text. Her reply, “Lol I’m
actually sick in bed… how was your concert?” I had text her the
previous day letting her know she is missing out on some fun. I reply
with, “Oh that sucks. You’ll get better soon. Just pretend you’ll get
something really special from me when you’re better. Like a cookie.”
This was long, but I knew I was ending it here. She replies back with
“Ha ha that does sound really special!!!” This fun energy can carry
over and now I have shaped the way we communicate to each other
and we are both enjoying it. She ended up texting me the next day
for her cookie.
If you noticed I didn’t answer all of her questions, girls
naturally want to gather information but I let her know what she
needs to know and kept the rest a mystery.
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Three easy ways to flirting
• Bantering ‐ is to speak to or address in a witty and teasing
manner. Easy for one‐liners but more effective if a bantering
interaction is played out. This is a great way to qualify her to see
if she can play around. So saying something like “Hey honey, I’m
going to be in late tonight, make sure Jimmy gets his bath.”
Women always played house growing up and this is a great way
to slide into that role and have fun. By setting up roles, we can
now play them out and have those feelings and attitudes
associated with them. Women love this. A lot of women also
have a naughty side or guilty pleasure to them, so if you let them
play out this role they will find you exciting to be around as they
are able to express themselves. Example, “I would go shopping
with you but I don’t want you to be tempted to make out with
me in the dressing room.” Remember, you’re playing with them,
having a good time bringing up even the most childlike emotions.
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• Arrogant humor ‐ also known as cocky funny. Arrogance is having
an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner
or in presumptuous claims or assumptions. Saying “I’m the
hottest guy here” is cocky and arrogant. Saying “I’m probably the
best looking guy you’ve ever seen so you might want to take a
picture” is cocky, but in a humorous way.
Joking around and having a good time is the number one
attraction secret. Women always rate humor as the number one
thing they look for in a man. Laughter is the best way to share
time and create connections with others. People generally laugh
for two reasons: because something is done out of the ordinary,
or because of nervousness. Your body can’t hold nervousness if
you are laughing. So anytime you’re around women, it’s a good
idea to do fun things that evoke laughter to help both of you
relax. Now on the other hand, if you’re too funny, then you’ll
end up being her entertaining, little monkey. And if you’re too
cocky you’ll be seen as a prick.
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So keep the mix good and use it to spice up conversations.
Arrogant humor is a great way to establish confidence. You see
many men these days play out a humble role. This may be in part
of religious values, but regardless of your beliefs, being humble is
not an attractive quality. It can work at times to show
vulnerability. A man must be strong, self confident, and
sometimes even a little cocky. Have you ever noticed how cocky
men are successful with women? Women are magically drawn to
this attitude when it’s spiced up with humor and playfulness. So
when texting, say things in an arrogant way that is funny at the
same time.
• Playful Teasing ‐ this is just what boys do to girls. Think back in
your early childhood when you chased girls around the
playground pulling their pigtails. This is universal flirting and you
see it all around you.
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Really, who didn’t like teasing girls when they were young? Keep
that same context and grow up just a little bit with it by picking apart
what a woman is wearing when you see her, or just busting on her over
something she says. For example, if they dyed their hair, kind of squint
your eyes as if you’re noticing something wrong with it and say
something like, “How do you get your roots so dark?” or “Huh, do you
like it?” If a really attractive woman knocks over a drink, say “looks like
you owe me a drink… after you clean up your mess.” Treat her like your
bratty little sister, and that you could care less what she thinks.
The key is to get her to laugh at herself. It’s great to expose a
woman’s insecurities and have her laugh about them. I’ve even said to
girls that they are boring and that they had to prove to me that they
know how to be fun. Women love attention and a challenge at the
same time. So regulate that attention by either not giving them any or
just playfully teasing them so they can almost feel like you’re possibly
pursuing them. If you do it right, you will always be happy you teased
her.
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Section #4
Making the first initial text
This section is packed with proven text messages that you can
use to get an idea of what women respond to. Make sure you take and
twist the text messages to fit your style. And don’t stop improving on
them until you start seeing better results.
What should you text? Refer to experiences you had with the
woman in the past or create a new experience by role playing that gets
her to be a character. It depends on what you want the context to be.
If you are just saying hi, then use some cocky humor. I usually just
say, “Hey dork what’s up”, or “How’s my adorable little brat?”, or “Hey
cutie, thinking of me much?” or my personal favorite, a simple “Hey,
what up?” Or ask her a question that relates to her or about what
you’ve talked about or did in the past. This can be situational. For
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instance, if you met dancing last night, your first text could be, “Hey
you, meet any cool, good‐looking guys last night?” Which, of course,
you’re implying is you and it will set the right tone and get the
conversation started. Remember, to put your name at the end of your
text – you don’t want to waste time. If it’s been a couple of days, you
could say “Hey, staying out of trouble lately?” And then go from there.
Text messages to create attraction
These are aimed at getting some sort of reaction from women
(my favorite is the jaw drop) and to build attraction by creating sexual
tension and connection. Mix them up however you like. They work
great when plugged in the right place and time. You’ll get better
responses if you use things that a woman probably never hears; like
calling a classy lady a brat.
Accusing a woman for being shallow
• “You just like me for being ridiculously good looking”
• “You just want me for my hot body”
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• “Why do you girls always use me for my looks”
• “I’m not just some prize to be won”
Surprised to see she actually has good qualities
• “Wow, you’re actually fun”
• “Huh, you’re smart too”
• “I never knew you had feelings”
When a woman is trying to seduce you
• “Nice try”
• “I know you can do better than that… I hope”
To get her thinking about you
• “Stop thinking about me so much”
• “Miss me yet?”
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Disqualifying her or yourself. I also call this creating doubt, which can
be very powerful.
• “You don’t like _________, I don’t think this is going to work out”
Example: “You don’t like ice cream, I don’t think this is going to
work out”
• “You’re just not my type”
• “I don’t think you can handle me” — This also has a double
meaning
• “You’re just not good enough for me”
• “You’re just not what I had in mind”
• “Are you always this difficult?”
• “Why can’t you be a good little girl”
• “I’m no good for you”
• “This isn’t working out… we just fight all the time”
• “You’re just making it worse”
• “This isn’t helping your chances with me”
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The gold digger approach
• “I didn’t know you were rich… I want a divorce now for half of
your money”
• “Well as long as you make a lot of money, I’m kind of high
maintenance.”
Just being friends and other fun plays on her
• “It’s ok, I know you want me”
• “We’re just friends, even though you want it”
• “Whatever, you so want me right now”
• “I don’t want to say that I’m better than you, just on a higher
level.”
• “Okay your right, let’s make‐out now.”
• “Well I guess if you really want to come you can”
• “Yeah, I think my friends will like you” instead of “I think you
might like my friends” see the difference. You can always change
your tone to match the atmosphere, but keep the general
qualifying mentality that you are the prize to be won.
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• “You know I don’t normally say this, but you might be the one”
• “You’re such a dork”
• “I’m sooo out of your league”
• “You’re just not my type”
Making sure she is cool
• “If you promise to behave then I’ll do a favor for you” and then
when she says okay or something, you say, “oh and I don’t do
sexual favors.”
• “Just be on your best behavior this time”
• “Just try not to embarrass me”
Talk about their clothes and outfits
Girls are always wondering what to wear, so it’s fun to help them out:
• “Just wear something cute and I’ll see you then”
• “Call me if you don’t know what to wear.”
• “Ditch the extensions this time, you looked cuter without them.”
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Ways to tease her
• “I think you’re nice, call me sometime.” Calling a woman nice is a
compliment you give your neighbor, sister or someone you’re
kindly rejecting. She won’t like it if it’s done right.
• “You’re like my bratty little sister.”
• “You’re boring. Let’s go out”
• “You’re boring me, come on, you’re supposed to entertain me”
• “Don’t worry; I’m sure there’s something fascinating about you”
• “What’s wrong with you?”
• “When are you going to take me out?”
• “I’m not going to wait around forever you know”
• “You seem like you’d make a nice friend”
• “You’re decent” or “last night was decent”
• If she says something even as simple as “call me” instead of
saying okay, say, “Don’t tell me what to do”
• If she is asking something from you say, “You’re so demanding”
• “You’re not that bad” or when commenting on her cooking say,
“it’s not that bad, I’m just surprised you can cook.”
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• “Hey, you look like this one amazing girl in my class…” she
responds with “Oh really!” you reply with “Yeah, too bad she
wasn’t all that.”
Talking as though she is in the 3rd person
• “Yeah I’m seeing someone right now, you might know her. She’s
kind of difficult but has a real sweet side to her”
• “Yeah I met this really amazing girl last night, hopefully she lives
up to the hype” This one is perfect of a really cool girl you just
met last night and she asks you if you had fun. Or “I met this
really cool girl but she was just so hard to read, I don’t know, you
think she likes me?”
Getting her to come over
• “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come over”
• “Come by and say hi”
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• “If you come over you got to promise not to laugh” She will think
that your place is a mess or something, which it shouldn’t be…
right?
• “Hey I’m going to head home, have fun with your friends”
• “You’re nice, maybe we can hang out sometime”
• “When are you going to come over and cook for me?”
Challenging her
• “I don’t know if you can keep up”
• “Can you handle me?” good double meaning
• “I don’t think this is going to work out, got any hot friends?”
Role reversals
• “You just want to show me off to all your friends”
• “You’ll probably just brag to all your friends how you got with
me”
• “I’m kind of a big deal, so don’t take it personal if I get all the
attention”
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• “What, just because I don’t put out doesn’t mean we can’t be
together.”
• “When are you going to take me out to a nice dinner and buy me
things?”
Being busy is good. It shows you have a life of your own. Women
don’t want to be your life – they want to be a part of your life.
• “Hey I’m busy, let’s talk later.” Sometimes I will just say “I’m
busy” and that’s it, which is fine, but you’re not giving her any
options, which doesn’t get anywhere.
• “Tomorrow is not going to work I got to finish a project.”
Giving her suggestions on things she should do, like tips to improve
her look.
• “It’s ok, but you should wear your hair down”. This sets up that
she must work for your approval.
• So if she has blond hair say “It’s nice, I like brunettes” If she says
she can dye it then say, “I don’t want you being fake” or “Just
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wear a hat.” That will get a punch on the arm. She is there to
impress you and get you’re attention. Think about it, why do
women dress up and look as cute as they can? To get your
attention and impress you. So put that in the open and have
them impress you in other ways.
Remember in all of your text messages to challenge her, flirt, role
play, have fun, twist words, crack jokes, put her on the spot, approve,
disapprove, qualify, be important, be a mystery, tease and most
importantly create some kind of feeling she is going to have when she
reads your text. Generally speaking, people always want what they
can’t have. So just give her enough hope to keep trying. You can satisfy
her from time to time to surprise her, but keep her on her toes. In other
words, always keep her guessing and having doubt, with the possibility
for excitement.
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Secret text tip, exercise the word “NO” The word NO is a very attractive word to women, especially if
they are good looking. It shows that you are picky, you have an
opinion, you are a qualifier and you are in control. If she asks, “Do you
want to go do this?” and you don’t want to, just say, “no, do you want
to?” Or let’s say she wants to meet up and you can’t, instead of saying
“oh I can’t sorry” say, “No, next week will be better.” It’s a very
powerful word because the word NO internally triggers a challenge.
Another reason is because women don’t hear that word from men a lot
(especially the attractive ones). They almost always hear yes this and
yes that or some passive way of saying no. So during your text
messaging, try to exercise the word NO.
The four step process to meeting up
You can text to meet up, but only after you’ve met up once
before. Calling her for the first meet up establishes that you are
interested in her and sets the tone that you are a man, which is what
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she wants! You need to be the man and continue to progress and lead
the relationship.
1. Create Interest
This is what gets a woman curious about you. If she is
curious she will want to know more about you. She will generally
ask you questions of interest and engage you in texting back and
forth. Do not answer all of her questions, but lead the interaction
and keep her interested. Just make sure you have something
interesting about you that she feels.
2. Create a feeling
Any emotion a woman feels when dealing with you is
always to your advantage. Try to keep those feelings more
positive, but negative ones work too. Keep in mind humor is the
number one emotion women want to feel.
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This is important because if you were to just jump right
into “hey, let’s hang out” and you haven’t created a feeling about
you then she has no reason to. Her reasoning to meet with you
comes from how much she feels when she interacts with you.
Use the text messages above for guidelines on how to create
desirable feelings and the texting conversations in the next
section to see how I created those emotions.
3. Leave her hanging (dead air)
Creating value and then leaving her hanging is very
powerful. She must feel what it’s like when you’re around and
then miss those feelings when you’re not around. This is best
done after 3‐5 texts. Don’t be texting her all day. Keep it short
and fun that gets a feeling and then you’re gone.
4. Meet up
You’re set if you have created interest, a feeling about you
and an empty void when you are gone. All you have to do at this
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point is call her up either that evening or the next day and see
what she’s up too. Have a plan for something to do, like “Hey
some friends of mine are getting together to watch survivor” or
“Hey have you ever seen xyz movie?” or “I got a barbecue going
on come join.” If she has plans say, “That’s too bad,” and let her
know how she is missing out. Don’t be surprised if a girl you
have been texting earlier, texts you that night to see what you’re
doing. If you’ve given her that emotional value then she will be
thinking of you and she will want to see you. I’ve had many girls
call or text me later to see what I was doing, before I was even
able to text her about meeting up.
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Section #5
Real life text messaging examples
As you practice and gain more experience dating and meeting
women, it will become second nature to flirt, create emotions and be a
challenge through text messaging. For instance, one Sunday night I was
talking to 8 different women via text. It was a Sunday evening and most
women are available to text at this time. Most of those interactions
lasted 2‐4 texts from me before I ended it. I will give you one of the
longer ones as an example of how to amplify attraction.
Conversation #1
This is from a girl I met last night. We had a fun time dancing and
joking around. I even protected her from some real creepy guys by
leading her around the dance floor so she could find her friends. I was
able to really connect and develop attraction with her so I knew that
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the next day would be fine to text her or even see her. At about one in
the afternoon I texted her, to say hi. This is how I did it:
Note: Before I got her number and left, I was talking to her about
whether or not I thought she was fake.
Me: “Hey, Thanks for the fake number. What else is fake about you? ‐
Tyler”
Remember to add your name the first time you text if she doesn’t have
your number yet.
Her: “Ha ha always with the fake! I can’t believe you don’t think Im sky
diving on the weekend! :)”
She replies a few minutes after mine so I know she is down to talk right
now.
Me: “I am not saying you don’t have it in you. I just doubt if you got
what it takes”
This is a fun way of challenging her and women love this.
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Her: “Ha ha is that a challenge?”
She is laughing, good sign.
Me: “Not for me but we’ll see if you’re up to it”
This is subconsciously telling her that I am a challenge. I actually got
another text from her right when I sent this, because I took about 5 min
to respond back. This will usually get her to be interested in you.
Her: “So what else is fake about you?”
This is the text she sent while I was about to send my previous text. As
you can see, she is asking me a question. She is interested or “buying.”
Me: “You’ll just have to wait and find out for yourself”
Not answering her question and again getting her more curious and
interested.
Her: “Are you asking me out on a date?”
You see women read into things and what I said is indirectly telling her
that I want to see her. Women always give indirect signals like what I
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just said. I’m just trying to speak their language, which creates
connection and attraction.
Me: “No, but it looks like you just did”
As we talked about in Section #4 about the power of the word “NO” I
plugged in the word “NO” and this word really dials up the attraction.
Her: “Ha ha yeah sometimes I can be forward. ;)”
Notice how she is laughing off the tension and I am not.
Me: “Cool, I’ll call you later and let you know when you can take me out
:)”
This is my first smiley because I usually want her to be wondering if I am
joking or not.
I sent this last message more than 10 minutes after her text. We
were texting back and forth and then I paused to let the tension build,
especially after what she said. Notice how I’m keeping control of the
interaction. Now I’m right where I want to be when I give her a call
later. (Note: I have set the tone that I am the leader and she is taking
the position of a follower. This is fine and most women are ok with that
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and most of the time they want you to be the leader.) I could let her
take me out, but I can tell she really wants me to be the one in the
driver’s seat. This is only a test by me to see if she can have fun and go
with it. This totally keeps her on her toes.
Her: “Ha ha can’t wait!”
At this point I will call her later on to say hi and to let her know
that I am busy tonight and I won’t tell her what I’m doing. I will end off
saying that we should meet up tomorrow for whatever I got going on.
Now, if she doesn’t answer her phone, just leave a message and say
“Hey… it’s Tyler… I’ll talk to ya later.” That’s all I will leave on the
message. I will make sure my voice is clear, slow and little lower to give
it a manlier tone (all of which women respond well to). Chances are,
she will either call me or text me before I call her tomorrow because I
have created enough curiosity about who I am and I know she wants to
see me.
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Conversation #2
This is from another girl I met a few nights ago and I ended up
going home with later on that night. We just kissed, I promise. When I
left her place I was meeting up with some of my family for lunch.
Here’s a quick text conversation to keep building the attraction and to
help her feel good about last night.
Me: “I was late because of you but it gave me an opportunity to tell my
family how I hooked up with a really awesome girl”
I didn’t even mention this girl to my family.
Her: “Ha ha yeah right, I’m sure you told them how you hooked up”
She is joking, but most women really want to know this kind of
information so she can’t help but investigate.
Me: “What, I did tell them.”
Making it more serious to her that I’m cool with it and not embarrassed
by her.
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Her: “You must have a really open family”
She’s now hooked and now I’m going to take her on a little emotional
ride.
Me: “Yeah they want to meet you”
I am really pushing it here and not letting her know that I am joking.
Her: “How many siblings do you have?”
She is preparing herself and not bailing out. This lets me know that
she’s really into me, which I already knew from last night. But it
reconfirms it to her and builds the relationship.
Me: “No you dork. I don’t kiss and tell.”
Although I just busted on her she is actually relieved of the pressure of
meeting my family. I just made up a quick story for her and it put her on
a real emotional roller coaster ride, which will instinctively connect her
more to me.
Her: “Ha ha you suck”
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Me: “Anyway, I’ll call you when I get back from my trip and let you
know how you missed out”
I was leaving the next day on vacation.
Her: “Oh thanks! :)”
Conversation #3
This is a conversation with a girl I met recently and she is a super‐
cute, little blonde and we totally vibe with each other.
Me: “I am going swimming in your pool later… I guess you can come
too”
She has mentioned that she has a pool and invited me to come on
Saturday night. I had better things to do… like meet gorgeous women.
Her: “Oh man I can’t tonight. I have this huge paper due that I haven’t
started on. Rain check?”
I didn’t screen her to see if she was available; not like it really matters
though. She counters with the rain check comment.
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Me: “Oh you slacker. Looks like I’ll be swimming laps without you”
I’m not letting it get to me that she can’t make it, and I bust on her for
procrastinating.
Her: “Ha ha you’re just scared I would lap you”
She is able to come into my world and play!
Me: “No. If anything I’m concerned you won’t be able to handle me”
Anytime I can say no is a personal favorite. I then challenge her with
the double meaning of handle me.
Her: “Ha ha I worry the same about you!”
She is always laughing, which is a sure sign of interest. I’m getting
excellent responses, which lets me know she is interested.
Me: “Nice, just finish your paper and call me sometime :‐)”
Complimenting her ability to play and then ending it first.
Her: “Only if you think you can keep up :)”
She’s challenging me! Awesome! I could use a challenge. She is a fun
girl. This is a great example of how long your texting interactions
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should be and how they should flow on an emotional level. We banter
back and forth and I leave on a high note. This is fun for both of us.
The next time I come in contact with her, it will definitely be fun!
These are some examples of the power that text messaging can
have on your relationships. Remember, you’re texting to build
attraction, NOT friendship. Give it a shot. With a little practice, you’ll
have these techniques down in no time.
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Bonus Section #6
Making the phone call
It will be a lot easier to call her because you’ve already been
texting and communicating with her. Calling is also another great way
to transition smoothly into the real world and meet.
This is a crucial step in meeting up with a woman. For many men
this step can be very difficult. You can get that feeling of anxiety where
you are not sure exactly what to say or hope that she is not busy and
you get her at a good time. There are thousands of things to worry
about. I know, I’ve been there before myself. And now, I don’t think
about it. When I get a minute, I will call her and actually tell her I had a
minute and wanted to talk to her. It doesn’t really matter what you say
as long as you are calm and collected. Don’t let yourself think about it
and get all worked up and nervous. Just casually dial the number like
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you’re calling a friend. You talk casual with a friend on the phone; keep
that same vibe and mindset with women.
5 points to hit when talking to her on the phone
Women love a man that can successfully have a phone
conversation. Every time you call and talk to a woman hit all 5 of these
points:
1. Get her laughing
Joking around, being playful, teasing her and flirting are
the best ways to create attraction and it will make her want to
meet with you.
Here are some ways to joke and flirt with her on the phone…
• Talk about something dumb she wrote online and joke
about it.
• Make fun of yourself.
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• Interpret what she is saying in a funny way. If she says
something like “I am going to clean my house.”
Interpret it and say, “So you’re having a bad a day?”
• Ask questions that put her on the spot. If she says
something that she is doing say, “What is it about
women and… (say whatever she’s doing.)” Make it
seem like she has issues that she has to explain her way
out of.
• Relate with her in a fun way. Say something like “Now,
were you just saying you loved hiking just to get solid
guys to want you” and then talk about where you have
hiked and what type of hiker she is and joke around
about the different types.
• Tease her. Say things like “you would”, “that’s kind of
creepy”, “I don’t think you are ready for that yet.”
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2. Slow down and speak clearly
Talking too fast is a sign of neediness, lack of confidence
and a poor presentation of who you are. A slow, clear
communicator is always more attractive.
3. Keep it short, 5‐10 minutes max
Conversations that are short build attraction. You’re
basically just seeing what’s going on and if there’s a possibility that
she gets to meet up with you. If you’re having interesting
conversation, just say “I got to get going, let’s continue this later” if
she asks where you’re going, just say “it’s a surprise” or “I got some
strippers coming over.”
It’s good to build a sense of urgency that you need to get
her off the phone because you have something else more important
that needs your attention. Telling her you have all the time in the
world for her is like saying I am boring and there’s not much to me.
Even say, “Hey I got to get going here in a minute, but I wanted to
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see what you’re up to.” When done right, it will leave her wanting
more, and she will be down to meet up.
4. Have a plan
Never say, “What do you want to do?” This is not the role
of a man and most women don’t like to take the position of the
decision maker. A real man will confidently take her by the hand
and make something happen.
Things to do…
• Go shopping for a trip you’re going on
• See a movie
• You’re hungry and are getting something to eat
• Go out to a bar or social scene
• There’s an art show or concert
• You’re having some friends over
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Be creative: Such as, you ran out of milk and need her to pick you
up some and bring it over. Keep in mind, everyday things like going
grocery shopping or buying a book work great.
Just remember to always present ideas and never say,
“Whatever. I don’t care what we do.” If you both can’t come up with
something, always jump in and say, “Okay, well, let’s do this and if it
doesn’t work or if it’s not fun we’ll go do that.”
If you do make plans, keep in mind the more unavailable you are
the more attractive you become. So don’t say “anytime” is good for
me. This is an excellent time to set up boundaries by saying “no that
doesn’t work for me”. Women eat it up that you have an opinion and a
full life.
5. Make sure you end the call first
Always end the conversation before you run into talking about
each other and your lives, or before an uncomfortable pause happens.
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Remember, to be cool, don’t stress it, and bring that fun energy
into the phone call that you’ve been having with the text messages.
Be a little busy and like you got a lot on your plate. You can even
bring up the same things you were texting her like “so did you get the
kids to bed…” It’s fun and simple. Take control of the conversation
early on by asking her questions about herself and see when she is
available to meet up. Say to her “I’m busy tomorrow so how about we
be spontaneous and meet up tonight.” Don’t sit there and talk forever.
Just see when she can meet up and let her know if that works for you or
not, and meet up already! Usually, you want to end off with her
laughing. Try saying something like, “yeah just try not to embarrass
me” or “yeah and don’t forget to paint your toe nails.” or “I hope you’re
fun to be with.” or “As long as you look good.”
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Decoding a woman’s text
It’s important you understand that you are really not decoding a
woman’s text, but rather confidently handling the situations and
moving the conversation. For the most part, women are responders
and men are initiators. Women might test, send you a mixed signal or
whatever, but she will change based on the confidence that comes out
of you. Your job is to not be affected by her and keep doing your thing.
If she is sending a text message that is iffy and you are not sure
what is going on, then Withdraw Your Interest. If a woman says,
“something came up and I can’t make it” I usually don’t respond back
because she is not giving me any counter offer. So I withdraw my
interest. You can try calling her out and say she’s lame or say she’s
going to miss out. But for something like that, I usually just leave it and
put nothing.
The most important thing you can do is move on. Do the best
you can to learn from what happened. Don’t let it get to you. Move
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on. Women base their decisions on emotion, and right then, she wasn’t
feeling it. That’s fine. There are plenty of other girls that will. She
missed her chance and will have to make it up to you if she wants to see
you again. If she flaked on you try sending, “So how are you going to
make up last night to me?”
• Understand what she really means
I don’t bother with this too much because I just assume
that she wants to see me and might be a little insecure about it.
The person that cares the least has the most power. So you’re
going to live your life and be happy regardless of her. You are
merely sharing that with her.
• What to say back
If you don’t know what to say, then don’t say anything at
that particular moment. Silence is the best answer. Don’t get
emotionally involved in what she is saying; if you act from
emotion, then you are reacting instead of responding.
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• Responding correctly to the hardest texts she will put on you
Either don’t answer and ignore it or try to look at things
from a different perspective. The best perspective is where your
happiness comes first. So if she says “Do you like me?” say “Well
I’m still getting to know you” or “Yes… as a friend” or “Yeah
you’re nice”
Let’s say she asks you a question you don’t want her
knowing the answer to, like say you had a date last night and she
says, “What did you do last night.” You can either ignore her and
talk about something else or just say, “I was talking to all of the
dancers at the strip club to see if you were any good for me.” If
she says, no really just say, “Yeah and later we all had a huge
orgy, you missed out” Don’t give in, she doesn’t really want to
know. She’s just acting on curious impulses and testing to see if
you will break. You could just say, “Oh I was out with a friend.”
What do you think girls say in these situations? Women are pros
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at being vague and not telling you things that you might not like.
She knows you will leave if she says, “yeah, I was with this hot
guy and we had some casual fun.” Unless you’re exclusive, you
don’t need to know all of each other’s business.
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Section #7
Safety concerns for text messaging
Texting has an impersonal and unsafe side because you can never
be sure who is on the other side. The points below are helpful tips to
think about when texting and using your phone:
• Don't ever text personal information such as your PIN number,
password, or banking information to anyone. Remember, once
you send that information to another person, it gets stored in
their cell phone. I’ve heard of a few accounts where a guy/girl
stole someone’s phone and text messaged all the people on the
phone and got valuable information. Don’t be that person that
becomes a victim to this. Never release valuable information.
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• Putting a password on your phone keeps others from accessing
your text logs or email. This will also prevent thieves from
stealing information stored in your phone.
• Don't forget to erase all your personal data before selling,
recycling or donating your old phone. Many people are still
under the impression that taking out your SIM (Subscriber
Identity Module) card will do the trick, but that's not entirely
true. Most Cingular and T‐mobile phones have SIM cards while
some other carriers use a RUIM (Removable User Identity
Module). You'll need a series of codes to permanently delete
stored information. For this, find out if your phone has a "master
reset" feature, which wipes out all the stored data at once. Since
every phone has a different set of "master reset" instructions,
you'll need to either look them up online or on your phone's
manual. Recellular has a database of these codes with step‐by‐
step instructions. You'll need your phone's make and model to
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get started. If you don't know it, check the back of the phone or
the box.
• And last but not least, ultimately, the security of private text
messages depends on the recipient.
Keep these points in mind and you should have no security
problems with text messaging.
This concludes The Ultimate Texting Guide.
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I hope you’ve enjoyed my ebook and I would love to hear about
any success you have had from using it. Please let me know, and don’t
forget to subscribe to my free newsletter if you haven’t done that
already. I’m always releasing new information and additional tips about
how to be more successful with texting and women.
Click the link below to send me your success story:
TylerTray@TipsToTexting.com
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