the number 1 problem people have with their boss _ bernard marr _ linkedin
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4/24/2015 TheNumber1ProblemPeopleHaveWithTheirBoss|BernardMarr|LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/number1problempeoplehavebossbernardmarr?trk=todpostspost1ptlt 1/34
TheNumber1ProblemPeopleHaveWithTheirBoss
Apr22,2015 463,772 1,870 367
AccordingtoastudybytheNationalBusinessResearchInstitute,thenumber1problempeoplereporthavingwiththeirbossormanagerisalackofcommunication.Fromthereport:
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Ithinkoneofthethingsemployeesdislikethemostisthelackofcontextthattheiremployersprovide,saidHeidiGorman,CMOofCapitalHGroup.BythatImeanmanyemployeesdonotgetenoughinformationfromtheiremployerstohaveanswerstobasicquestionslike,Whatsreallyexpectedofme?,Howwillmyperformancebejudged?andHowdoeswhatIdo,dayinanddayout,helptheoverallcompanyachieveitsgoals?Itisimportantforallemployees,regardlessofwhattheydo,tohavetheseessentialquestionsansweredbecauseitgivesasenseofmeaningtotheirwork.
Onereasonthatcommunicationproblemsaresorampantisbecausetheyareongoing,asopposedtosingleevents.Whencommunicationfails,employeestendtodrawbackandbecomeafraidtoaskquestionsorspeakupwhentheyforeseeaproblem.
Inshort,ifyouwantopencommunicationfromyouremployeeswhenitmatters,youneedtomodelthebehavioryourself.Hereareafewsuggestionstogetstarted:
1. Shareyourknowledge.Whetheritsaboutachangethecompanyismakingoraclientyouveworkedwithbefore,beproactiveaboutsharinginformationwithyourteam.Mostemployeesaremuchbetterabletorollwiththepuncheswhentheyunderstandthereasoningbehindwhatshappening.
2. Engageinsmalltalk.Youmaythinksmalltalkiscounterproductiveatwork,butemployeesaremorelikelytotrustyouiftheyfeelliketheyknowyou.Inquiringabouttheirfamilies,hobbies,orinterestsinagenuinewayisagoodwaytofostertrustandmoreopencommunication.
3. Listenmoretalkless.Therearetwomajorcomponentsofeffectivecommunicationandoneofthemislisteningyetitsoftenoverlookedasamanagementskill.Tryactivelisteningwhereyouparaphraseandrepeatbackwhattheotherpersonhasjustsaid.Itnotonlygivesthemtheopportunitytoclarifyifyouvemisunderstoodsomething,butitalsoforcesyoutolistentothem,insteadofthinkingabouthowyouplantorespond.
4. Thinkaboutcommunicationspreferences.Youprobablyalreadyknowthatsomeofusarevisuallearnersandsome
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4/24/2015 TheNumber1ProblemPeopleHaveWithTheirBoss|BernardMarr|LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/number1problempeoplehavebossbernardmarr?trk=todpostspost1ptlt 3/34
auditorylearners,butthatextendswelloutsidetheclassroom.Someemployeeswilldojustfinetalkingaboutcomplexissues,whileotherswillprefertohavetheconversationoutlinedinwriting.Ifyoucandiscovereachemployeespreference,youcanensureyourereachingoutinawaytheyllunderstand.
5. Keepfeedbackconstructive.Ifemployeesfeelconstantlyunderattackorcriticism,theymaybereluctanttoopenthelinesofcommunicationforanyreason.Practiceofferingconstructivefeedbackpairedwithpraise,andalwaysremembertoonlycriticisetheact,nevertheperson.
Onefinalbonustip:neverstoppracticing.Youmaythinkyoureastellarcommunicatoruntilfacedwithanemployeewhosecommunicationstyleiscompletelydifferentfromyourown,oryoufindyourselfinastressfulsituation.Keepseekingoutwaystolearn,practice,andimproveyourcommunicationsskillstobeoneoftheworkforcesbelovedbosses,ratherthanoneofthedreadedones.
Whatareyourbesttipsforimprovingcommunicationsskills?Idloveforyoutosharetheminthecommentsbelow.
Thankyouforreadingmypost.Iregularlywriteaboutmanagement,technologyaswellasthemegatrendthatisBigDataforLinkedInandForbes.Ifyouwouldliketoreadmyregularpoststhenpleaseclick'Follow'andfeelfreetoalsoconnectviaTwitter,FacebookandTheAdvancedPerformanceInstitute.
HerearesomeotherrecentpostsIhavewritten:
CareerChoicesYouWillRegretIn20Years
TheOneThingSuccessfulPeopleNeverDo
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The25KPIsEveryManagerNeedstoKnow
HowNOTtoIntroduceYourself
10SentencesGoodManagersNEVERSayEVER
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4/24/2015 TheNumber1ProblemPeopleHaveWithTheirBoss|BernardMarr|LinkedIn
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toBeMoreConfident,andThisIsItApr23,2015 250,392 1,295 277
Confidenceisnotsomethingyoueitherhaveoryoudon't.
Takeme.StickmeonabicycleatalocalgrouprideandI'mconfident.I'mselfassured.IfeellikeIbelong(which,ifyouthinkaboutit,isanicedefinitionofconfidence.)
Butstickmeonabicycleatagranfondosurroundedbythefastguysandsuddenlyeverythingchanges.I'minstantlyshyandinsecure.Ifeellikeaverysmallfishwayoutofhiswater.
Unfortunatelyformeandmaybeforyouconfidenceismuchmoresituationalthanabsolute.Insomesettingwe'reselfassuredinothers,notsomuch.
That'sprobablynatural...andthat'sprobablywhymanytipsforhowtofeelconfidentoftenfallshort.Muchofthatadvicecanbeboileddownto,"Youcanbeconfidentallyouhavetodoisdecidetobeconfident."
Evidentlyit'seasy:suppressnegativethoughtsandrepeatsomereallycoolselfaffirmingstatementsandvoila!I'mlikeDonaldTrump.
Ornot.
ABetterWaytoThinkAboutConfidence
AccordingtoDr.TomasChamorroPremuzic,aprofessorofbusinesspsychologyatUniversityCollegeLondonandauthoroftheoutstandingbookConfidence:OvercomingLowSelfEsteem,Insecurity,andDoubt,thereisanotherwaytolookatsupposedlyconfidencebuildingselftalk:
Forexample,ifyouarefeelingworthlessandtrytosuppressthosefeelings,youwillneverbeabletodowhatittakestoimprove.If,ontheotherhand,youcometo
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4/24/2015 TheNumber1ProblemPeopleHaveWithTheirBoss|BernardMarr|LinkedIn
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termswithyournegativeselfviewsandacceptthefactthatyouarenotasgoodasyouwouldliketobeand,especially,thatyouareunhappywithyourself,youwillbeabletofocusonwhatyouneedtodotoimprove.
Dissatisfactionisthemotherofchange,andonlychangecandriveimprovement.
Thechoicebetweenthetwooptionsisanobrainer.Deliberateattemptstoincreaseyourconfidenceareboundtoresultinfailureanddemoralizeyou,whereasattemptstoimproveyourperformancecanresultinnotjustcompetencegainsbutalsoagenuineboosttoyourconfidence.Theanswertothequestion,"WhatshouldIdoaboutmylowconfidence?"canhardlybesimpler:
Embraceit.
Thinkaboutit.Lackofconfidenceisn'ttheproblemlackofconfidenceisactuallythemeanstoasolution.Whenyouactuallyacceptyourweakpoints,yourflaws,andyourimperfections,thenyoucanmotivateyourselftomakechangesandimprove.
Inshort,hidefromyourweaknessesandyou'llalwaysbeweak.Acceptyourweaknessesandthenworktoimprovethemandyou'lleventuallybestrongerandmoreconfident.
Sowhatistheonlyrecipeforfeelingmoreconfident?
Success.
Improvementbreedsconfidence.Competencebreedsconfidence.Successinyourfield,orsometimesinanypursuitbreedsconfidence.
Takemeagain.YearsagoIwasinvitedtospeaktoanaudienceofaroundathousandpeople.Awesome,right?Well,maybenot.Ihadneverspokentoanaudiencelargerthanabout150peoplebefore.PlusIwasaskedtospeakonatopicIdidn'tknowthatmuchabout.
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4/24/2015 TheNumber1ProblemPeopleHaveWithTheirBoss|BernardMarr|LinkedIn
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Evenso,theopportunitywastoogoodtopassup...
...andIbombed.
Badly.
Oh,everyonetoldmeIdidfine.(Toaspeaker,beingtoldyouwere"fine"islikeateenagerbeingtoldyouhaveagoodpersonality.)Iwantedtobelievethem.Iwantedtoignoremyfeelingsofincompetence,disappointment,andfailure.
AndthenIrealizedIwouldnevergetbetterifIdidn't1)acceptthefactIhadfailedand2)workhardtoimprove.SoIwentbacktothedrawingboard.Iwrangledinvitationstolocalcivicgroups.Ispoketostudentsatlocalcolleges.IforcedmyselftospeakontopicsoutsidemywheelhousesoIcouldlearnthemechanicsofcraftingagreathookandagreatstory.SometimesIdidwell,sometimesIdidbadlybutovertimeIgainedskillandcompetence.
Andconfidence.
AmIstillnervousbeforeIstepoutinfrontofbigcrowds?Ohhellyeah.I'mahotmessofinsecurity.ButIcanworkthroughthosefeelingsnotbecauseIengageinalotofhappyhorse(manure)selftalkbutbecauseIknowI'vebeenthere,donethat,andcandoitagain.
I'mconfident,becauseIhavesuccessinmypocket.
YetI'malsoinsecureenoughtoalwayswanttogetbetter.
EvenUnrelatedSuccessHelps
Oddlyenough,successinonepursuityieldsgreaterconfidenceinotherareasoflife.
Backtomybicycleexample:ThefirstmajorgranfondoIrodewas100mileslongandincludedover11,000feetofclimbingoverfourmountains(twoofthoseclimbs
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4/24/2015 TheNumber1ProblemPeopleHaveWithTheirBoss|BernardMarr|LinkedIn
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ondirt/gravelroads.)Itwaslong.Itwasendless.Itwasphysically(andwillpowery)harderthananythingIhadeverdone.ButIfinishedit.
AndevenweeksafterwardIgenerallyfeltmoreconfident.Iworriedlessaboutwhatpeoplethoughtofme.Ihaddonesomethinghuge,atleastformeanditliftedmeforalongtime.
That'sbecausewhileconfidencemaybesituational,somedegreeofconfidencecanalsospillover.Whenyoufeelgoodaboutyourselfinonewaywhenyouachievesomedegreeofsuccessinoneaspectofyourlifeyoutendtofeelbetteraboutotherpartsofyourlifeaswell.Afterall,ifyoucandoonethingwell,youcandolotsofthingswell.
Allyouhavetodoisworkatit.
HowtoBeMoreCompetentandThereforeMoreConfident
Soforgettheselftalkandpsychoanalysis.It'sallaboutaction.Here'sTomasagain:
Mostpeopleliketheideaofbeingexceptional,butnotenoughtodowhatittakestogetthere...everybodysaystheywanttobeslim,healthy,attractive,andrich,butfewpeoplearewillingtodowhatittakestoattainthosethings,whichsuggeststheydon'treallywantthosethingsasmuchastheysayorthink.
PaulArden,formercreativedirectorofSaatchi&Saatchi,sumsthisupnicelybyexplainingthattypicallywhenwesaywe"want"something,weactuallyjustmeanwewanttohaveit,butwithnoimplicitassumptionthatwe'rewillingtodoanyworktogetthere.Inreality,wantingsomethingshouldequatewithbeingpreparedtotakethenecessarystepstoachieveit.Ifyouareseriousaboutyourgoals,thenyouwilldowhateverittakestoattainthemyourconfidenceissecondary.
Whatmattersisthedesireyouhavetoattempttoachieveyourgoals.
Sodon'tsayyoulackconfidence.Allofuslackconfidence.Allofushaveinsecurities,doubts,fears...allofus.
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4/24/2015 TheNumber1ProblemPeopleHaveWithTheirBoss|BernardMarr|LinkedIn
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Justpickagoal,agoalyoutrulywanttoachieve,andtakeacleareyedlookatyourweaknessesnotsoyou'llfeellessconfident,butsoyoucandetermineexactlywhatyouneedtoworkon.
Thengettowork.Celebratesmallsuccesses.Analyzeyourweaknesses.Keepgoing.
Asyougainskillyou'llalsogainafeelingofgenuineconfidence,onethatcanneverbetakenawaybecauseyou'veearnedit.
IalsowriteforInc.com:
10OrdinaryBeliefsofExtraordinarilySuccessfulPeople
HowtoBeMoreCharismatic:10Tips
10BodyLanguageSecretsofHighlySuccessfulPeople
9EssentialHabitsofExtremelyEffectivePeople
7ThingsRemarkablyHappyPeopleDoMoreOften
Checkoutmybookofpersonalandprofessionaladvice,TransForm:DramaticallyImproveYourCareer,Business,Relationships,andLifeOneSimpleStepAtaTime.(PDFversionhere,Kindleversionhere,Nookversionhere.)
Ifafter10minutesyoudon'tfindatleast5thingsyoucandotomakeyourlifebetterI'llrefundyourmoney.
Thatwayyouhavenothingtolose...andeverythingtogain.
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