the art of influencing others
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THE ART OF INFLUENCING OTHERS
Discussion Session #1 Kelley School of Business
X420 Class
What do these people have in common?
Madonna
Bill Gates
Mother Theresa
Adolf Hitler
Pablo Picasso
Everyone is a person of influence….
Even though we have an impact on nearly everyone around us, our level of influence is not the same with everyone
There are two basic ways of influencing people….
Number 1: REWARDS
Number 2: PUNISHMENTS
Rewards will work for awhile….
How much is enough?How much is enough?
Fear will also work for awhile….
People Can Be Influenced If People Can Be Influenced If They They
Think You Can Punish ThemThink You Can Punish Them
Crude reliance on either the lash or the cash is self-defeating-
A balanced use of negative and positive reinforcements works best…
Subtlety enhances the influence of rewards and punishments
You act consistently and show credibility You show integrity You have bonded with the person or
people you are trying to influence
Your Level Of Influence IncreasesWhen:
Never Assume People Believe You but be truthful by habit anyway
Never Assume People Understand You but explain things as clearly as you can
Downplay Any Benefits To Yourself but be ready to acknowledge the effects of
enlightened self-interest
Credibility
Love truth, but pardon error ~ Voltaire
Integrity is not determined by circumstances You are responsible for the choices you make Your character is not determined by circumstances
Integrity is not based on credentials Character is who we are Character is permanent, credentials are transient
Reputation is not integrity Words are cheap, actions have weight
Integrity
Integrity is the essence of everything successful ~ R. Buckminster Fuller
Credible behavior and a personal integrity will allow others to trust you…
The key to successfully influencing people over the long term is winning their trust and
bonding with them….
Nurture People
Show Genuine Concern for Others
Commit To People Believe In Others Give People
Opportunities
Accentuate the Positive
Don’t criticize, complain about, or condemn people.
Do make people feel important Show sincere appreciation Think of other people’s good points – and point
them out!
Three Types of People
Well- Poisoners:Well- Poisoners:
People who discourage others, stomp on creativity and tell people they can’t do it.
Lawn-Mowers:Lawn-Mowers:
People who have good intentions, but are self
absorbed
Life-Enhancers:Life-Enhancers:
People who enrich
the lives of others and lift
other people up
Have Faith In People
Most people don’t have faith in themselves, and believe they will fail
Most people don’t have someone who has faith in them
Most people will do anything to live up to your faith in them
If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.~ William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)
Always Listen To Other People
This Shows Respect And Generates Ideas Listening Builds
Loyalty And Increases
Knowledge
“You can’t hear the song if you don’t listen to the notes…”
Practice seeing things from
the other person’s viewpoint
Talk About the things that
they desire and enjoy
Empathy
This is an effective strategy because: Each of us spends 95% of our time thinking about ourselves Everyone is interested in the things they want, but few really care about the things you want People aren’t interested in me, they don’t care about you - they’re interested in themselves The most frequently used word – “I”
Smile! If you have fun meeting people they will have fun meeting you.
Remember people’s names!! Names are Unique and Set People Apart A Person’s Name is One of the Most Important
Sounds in any Language
You’re On….
“…all the world’s a stage, where each must play a part….”
How to fail…
1. FEAR - People fear what they don’t immediately understand and this fear hampers their ability to perceive
2. SELF-CENTEREDNESS - People naturally think of their own interests first
3. PROVINCIALISM – The failure to appreciate differences, and recognize and respect everyone’s unique qualities
There are three main reasons people fail at understanding others:
Conquer fear, self-centeredness and
provincialism in yourself.
Sympathetic success““Three-fourths of all the people you will ever meet Three-fourths of all the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.” Give it to them, and they will love you.” – – Dale CarnegieDale Carnegie
Be Be sympatheticsympathetic to the other person’s ideas and desires – to the other person’s ideas and desires –• Look at things from the other person’s perspectiveLook at things from the other person’s perspective• Reach out to others with a strong hand and a soft heartReach out to others with a strong hand and a soft heart• Have a positive attitude about peopleHave a positive attitude about people
People of influence navigate for others….
Show the person their destination
Exercise foresight to predict
and compensate for obstacles
in the path
Show the person what steps to take
on the path to their goal
Show the person their destination
Listen to a person’s aspirations Ask about a person’s desires Help a person define the goals that willachieve these aspirations and desires
Show the person what steps to take
on the path to their goal
Define where the person is now Identify the person’s abilities and talents Choose a pragmatic path
Exercise foresight to predict
and compensate for obstacles
in the path
Everybody faces problemsEverybody faces problems Successful people face more Successful people face more obstacles than unsuccessful peopleobstacles than unsuccessful people Problems provide an opportunity Problems provide an opportunity for growthfor growth
People of influence connect with other people….
Don’t Take People For Granted - Value PeopleDon’t Take People For Granted - Value People
Possess the Attitude That You Can Make a DifferencePossess the Attitude That You Can Make a Difference and You Will Be Able To Make A Differenceand You Will Be Able To Make A Difference
Find the Key to Others’ LivesFind the Key to Others’ Lives What is Important to the Person? What is Important to the Person? What has the Person Achieved?What has the Person Achieved? What Does the Person Desire to do?What Does the Person Desire to do?
Communicate From the HeartCommunicate From the Heart Be Genuine,Be Genuine, Share From your Heart, and Share From your Heart, and Be YourselfBe Yourself
Important Factors In Influencing Others
Show Credibility and Integrity Make People Feel Important See Things From the Other Person’s Viewpoint Nurture People by Showing Genuine Concern
for Others Have Faith in People Always Listen to Other People Navigate the Path for Other People Connect with Others
Case Study: Bloomington Greenspace
25 acres up for grabs! Housing, Commercial, Recreation,
Education, Conservation Park – which will it be?
How will you influence people in your group?
How will you influence another group to join your cause?
Secrets of Power Persuasion, Everything You’ll Need To Get Anything You’ll Ever Want Roger Dawson
How to Positively Impact The Lives of Others, Becoming a Person of Influence John C. Maxwell & Jim Dornan
The Seven Secrets of Influence Elaina Zucker
How To Win Friends & Influence People Dale Carnegie
http://www.dale-carnegie.com
Sources
A. Strongly Agree
B. Agree
C. Disagree
D. Strongly Disagree
E. Don’t Know
1. I found the presentation of material easy to understand. 2. This advantage session increased my knowledge on the subject presented. 3. I will be able to use some of the information from this advantage session in
the future. 4. The presenter was well prepared for this Advantage session. 5. This presentation should be repeated in future semesters.
Evaluation Questions
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