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Emotional Intelligence for Professional Success
Morning Agenda
• Resilience You all have it in you – preventative medicine
• Toolbox Project video Toolbox• Self awareness – exercise
Afternoon Agenda
• Outside in • Communication• Conflict fluency• Decision making• Change• Leadership President Lincoln Pulling it
all together • Individual development Plan
Johari Window
J. Luft, Group Processes: An introduction to Group Dynamics, (Palo Alto, CA: Mayfield, 1970).
What is emotional intelligence?
Building blocks of behavior
Thoughts
BehaviorsEmotions
Motere (Latin)
“to move”
root work for emotion and motivation
121 Fortune 500 Companies – Competency Models
Abilities Distinguishing Star Performers at Work (Goleman, 1994)
Emotional Intelligence, EI, EQ
Self Mastery and RESILIENCE…
Toolbox Project video Toolbox
Einstein
“We should take care not to make the intellect our god. It has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It cannot lead, it can only serve.”
Misperception of Success
Irrational Thought Patterns
• We all have them…ChildhoodOur general US cultureOur workplace culture
Another interpretation
It is a test. Relief
Reptile Brain: Error patterns
Sacrifices accuracy for speed
Can’t tell the difference between rattlesnakes and shame
Our Three Brains
Amygdala – reptile brain (emotion)
Cortex (logic center)
Pre-frontal cortex (integrates logic and emotion into judgment
Flipping Our Lids
• Dr Siegel Hand Model of the Brain
• Reflection• Relationships • Resilience
Interpretation
Event • Fire Alarm
Interpretation• Fire!
Danger!
Feeling • Fear
Behavior
Automatic Process
Event• Fire
Alarm
Feeling • Fear
Behavior
• Run
Expert Opinion“I view emotions as organizing processes that enable individuals to think and behave adaptively. This perspective can be contrasted with a more traditional one that sees affect as a disorganized interruption of mental activity that must be minimized and controlled.”
Peter Salovey,Ph.D., Chair of Psychology, Yale University
Major Emotional Intelligence Researcher and Theorist
Our Culture Worships Intellect
DesCartes: “I think; therefore I am.”
Stoics
Today’s schools
Today’s employers
Emotional Intelligence is a collection of skills
• Self reflection• Productive focus on relationships?• Resilience when things do go the way
you want or intended• EI = Logic and Emotions
Because it CAN be learned
• Our EI can grow at any age• Learning EI starts early• Neuroplasticity of the brain?• SCARF?
Example of Emotional Intelligence
• Aristotle: “Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person , to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy.”
1. Break into SCARF groups based on the biggest concern identified in your assessment
2. Describe/characterize your domain- What are your concerns or triggers?
3. Large group debrief
4. In domain groups discuss: How you reduce your own sense of threat or increase your sense of reward related to this domain
5. Debrief
Fairness study
• Fairness study
• Feeling free from bias, dishonesty, and injustice
• An individual’s sense of fairness is linked to personal values
We need both
IQ EQ
EQ-i® 2.0 competencies
Total EQ
Self-Perception
Self-Regard
Self-Actualization
Emotional Self-Awareness
Self-Expression
Emotional Expression
Assertiveness
Independence
Interpersonal
Interpersonal Relationships
Empathy
Social Responsibility
Decision Making
Problem Solving
Reality Testing
Stress Management
Flexibility
Stress Tolerance
OptimismImpulse Control
rosieFirst, Understand Habits
• Habits are hard to break• Thought patterns can be changed• Paying attention to things can rewire
habits• Focus on what’s right, not what’s wrong• Work at regulating your thinking
EI and Change
• VUCA World• Volatile, uncertain, complex, ambiguous
• Requires VUCA leadership
• Lack of certainty = loss of control > impacts status, fairness and relationships
Emotions and Change
VISION
Rosie in the face of change
• Safety first• Create new connections• Embed with attention density
Well-Being
• Self-Regard• Optimism• Interpersonal Relationships• Self-Actualization
Another way to look at Well-Being
love
work
play
Rich and full life
“Richest and fullest lives attempt to achieve balance between three realms: work, love, play.”
Erik EriksonDevelopmental Psychologist
Hippocampus
Prefrontal Cortex
Amygdala
Hippocampus
Prefrontal Cortex
Amygdala
SCARF
A way to understand social brain stimuli and the responses that are triggered
Your brain is…
• Like a river
EI and Leadership• Daniel Goleman (1998) pioneered the idea
that “the ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions, and drives, as well as their effect on others,” was a hallmark of effective leaders.
• High levels of self-awareness, long acknowledged as contributing to individual effectiveness and good leadership, also correlate with corporate performance.
Korn/Ferry Institute 2013 A Better return on Self Awareness
Emotional Intelligence and Leadership
• Emotions are contagious• De-railers
– Impulse Control– Stress Tolerance– Problem Solving– Independence
Mood contagion & Optimism
• So given, that our neurons are at work and we are reacting to the people that we work with in many ways.
• There’s a word for that and it’s mood contagion.
• Joyce Bono was faculty at CSOM here at the University and is now at the U of Florida. She studied mood contagion. She looked at the sharing of positive emotions in the work setting.
• What do we do to build a positive mood contagion?
• Positive connections increase the secretion of oxytocin in the brain• We have choices:
– How do I build a positive mood for myself? How do I reinforce this?– How do I choose those I interact with? Are they positive? How do they contribute to
my mood?
Emotions are contagious
rosiePractice ideas• Practice giving yourself six seconds• Focus on the positive• Consider play; think of problems as
challenges• Study what works for you – modes of
learning• Make connections with positive others• Celebrate accomplishments• Practice choice -- choose what you pay
attention to and opt for positive reactions; this is regulation
Values
• What interests you about emotional intelligence?
Assess the emotional intelligence of Lincoln
Doris Kearns Goodwin: What we can learn from past presidents
Individual Development Plan
• What do you want to start?• What do you want to stop?• What do you want to continue doing?
Resilience
• Resiliency is the ability to find the inner strength to grow through a set-back, challenge, or opportunity. Resiliency is not about bouncing back from a situation. It is about growing through it. Resiliency is not about pain. It is about possibility.
Be Resilient: by Eileen Mc???????
We can choose our response
• What is the situation?• What am I focusing on? What am I not
going to put attention on?• How do I feel and think about this?• How am I going to consciously
respond?
rosieSelf Care
• It’s about energy • Work at building resilience; have it
ready when you have challenges• Exercise, yoga or meditation• Stop ruminating – this builds negative
wiring. Schedule a time each day for it and get over it
Rosie more self care
• Think about challenging situations• What can you start doing, stop doing or
continue doing that will help the situation and other similar situations
• Practice your one thing• Give yourself a reward for following
through
“When will we make the same breakthroughs
in the way we relate to each other,
as we have made in technology?”
Theodore Zeldin, Philosopher
Evaluation
• What was most helpful today?
or • Share one of your insights or aha’s
• CCE evaluation
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