operation: military kids 4-h serving military families in our own backyard

Operation: Military Kids

4-H Serving Military Families

In Our Own Backyard

Operation: Military Kids Operation: Military Kids

One Family’s StoryOne Family’s Story

• Kim Towne• MSU Extension

– Saginaw County

I’d like you to meet Zack and Cassie. Zack is 5, Cassie is 3. They live like the other kids in their neighborhood. Their mom and dad go to work, play with them, cook them dinner, give them baths and read them bedtime stories.

But their dad, Mitch, has an another job that’s extra special.

He is an Army National Guardsman.

On January 21, 2003, Mitch told his family that his Guard unit had been activated. He would be leaving the following morning. He was heading for the Middle East, and his tour would last for one year.He and his family had 15 hours to prepare.

His children were devastated. Cassie was terrified that mommy was going to leave her, too. Zack began having nightmares that the ‘bad men’ were killing his daddy.

Cassie’s mom, Kim, reassured her that she would come back for her. Zack began acting out at school, fighting his classmates, causing his

teacher trouble. Kim began looking for help.

Because Mitch is in the Guard, the family doesn’t live on or near a military installation. Kim had to search for resources in her community. She asked for Zack to be seen by a child psychologist from Community Mental Health to help him cope with his father’s absence.

Someone came to evaluate Zack. He hid under Kim’s chair and watched. He was angry but he reluctantly answered questions. But after a short time, Zack told her “Stop asking so many questions about my daddy. I don’t want to talk about him!”

The evaluator left, saying, “I have to do some research. I’ll be right back.” When she returned, the evaluator told Kim she “wasn’t equipped to handle Zack’s unique situation” The evaluator said she would get back with Kim with the name of someone who could help.

The evaluator never called back.

Because Mitch’s unit was one of the first deployed to Iraq, there were no communications to call home to talk with his children and reassure them he was okay.

They waited for a call - for three months.

At home in Michigan, Kim had to create a new ‘family’ for herself and her children. She joined the unit’s Family Readiness Group.

Kim began talking with other guard wives, trying to get information and find resources to help her children cope.

Finding those resources was difficult. There wasn’t an infrastructure in place to help families that didn’t live near an installation who became ‘suddenly military’.

When Mitch’s truck was hit with an IED (Improvised Exploding Device), Kim had to use her limited network to get the word that Mitch was okay and to be able to talk about her experience.

Finally, January 2004 drew closer and the family’s year was almost up.

But in October, Mitch’s unit was extended until April of 2004.

Because of the extended tour, Mitch was granted a leave over Christmas and New Year. Mitch and Kim decided that it would be too disruptive for their children if Mitch returned home for only two weeks. Mitch passed up his leave and stayed in Iraq.

Their extended family didn’t agree with their decision, calling Kim selfish, making comments about the status of their marriage.

Even the other military wives asked, “Are you guys doing OK?” “Are you guys getting a divorce?”

Mitch and Kim felt this was the best decision for their family, even in the face of so little support from family and friends.

In March 2004, Kim began preparing her kids for Mitch’s return home. They circled the week of his return in red.

The day before Mitch came home, Kim told Cassie and Zack that daddy was coming home ‘tomorrow’. Zack asked, “Really?” and Cassie said, “Is tomorrow the next day?”

The day of the unit’s return, Kim dressed Cassie and Zack in their DCU’s (Desert Camouflage Uniforms), climbed in the car and headed off to the Armory and to Mitch.

At the grounds, Zack yelled out, “Daddy!” and ran with Cassie to be scooped up in a hug.

After a few hours of having to share his daddy, Zack picked up Mitch’s 30 lb. backpack and told his dad, “Come on dad, it’s time to go home.”

This story is similar for over 3000 of Michigan’s children who have one, sometimes both parents, deployed. Deployment cycles can last from 1 to 18 months and will be, in the coming months and years, repeated. Many times, there is a lack of support and communication for these ‘suddenly military families.

One Teen’s StoryOne Teen’s Story

• Amanda Mueller

Michigan National Guard Youth Program

Hastings, MI

On October 1, 2005, Michigan was awarded the Operation:

Military Kids Grant.It is a two year grant, dedicated

to helping the families of those who serve in the Army National Guard and Army Reserve forces.

Operation: Military KidsOperation: Military Kids

• Creates community support network for military youth “in our own backyard: when Soldier parents are deployed.

• Delivers recreation, social and educational programs for military youth living in civilian communities.

• Supports military kids coping with the stress of knowing their deployed parents may be harm’s way.

Operation: Military KidsOperation: Military Kids

• Collaborates with schools to ensure that staff are attuned to the unique needs of military students.

• Educates the public on the deployment cycle on Soldiers, families, kids and the community as a whole.

• Becomes a part of the on-going 4-H program in the locations where there are military families.

Contact InformationContact Information

• Tina Fleming flemin82@msu.edu• Sheila Urban Smithsmiths20@msu.edu• Kimberly Townetownek@msu.edu• Kristin Brennankristin.brennan@mi.ngb.army.mil

• State 4-H Military Liaison

• Program Leader – 4-H Youth Development

• MSU Extension – Saginaw County

• State Youth Coordinator – Michigan National Guard