nada ignjatovic-savic, begrad, serbia the relevance of compassionate communication in education
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Nada Ignjatovic-Savic, Begrad, SerbiaNada Ignjatovic-Savic, Begrad, Serbia
THE RELEVANCE THE RELEVANCE OF COMPASSIONATE OF COMPASSIONATE COMMUNICATION IN COMMUNICATION IN
EDUCATIONEDUCATION
What is the purpose of education? What is the purpose of education?
Does the school practice meet the Does the school practice meet the needs of all actors, students and needs of all actors, students and teachers in the first place? teachers in the first place?
How it could be changed to fit the How it could be changed to fit the purpose better? purpose better?
The purpose of school:The purpose of school:• developing heart and soul as well as body and developing heart and soul as well as body and
mind,mind,• to foster the development of personal integrity to foster the development of personal integrity
and interconnectedness,and interconnectedness,• to nurture love for learning, to nurture love for learning, • to make studying in the school meaningful and to make studying in the school meaningful and
life connectedlife connected
obrazovanjeobrazovanje (education) = (education) = obrazobraz means means personal integritypersonal integrity
Life alienated versus life serving Life alienated versus life serving education, resumed in 13 D’s;education, resumed in 13 D’s;
DISCONNECTED vs. CONNECT before educateDISCONNECTED vs. CONNECT before educate DICHOTOMIC- either/ or vs. and/and DICHOTOMIC- either/ or vs. and/and DENYING FEELINGS vs. feelings as guides to our needsDENYING FEELINGS vs. feelings as guides to our needs DIAGNOSES vs. observation, judgments translated into OFNRDIAGNOSES vs. observation, judgments translated into OFNR DENIAL OF CHOICE , have to vs. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY DENIAL OF CHOICE , have to vs. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY DEMANDS vs. REQUESTS; DEMANDS vs. REQUESTS; Naked requestsNaked requests or saying or saying what we do what we do
not wantnot want instead of what we want and how instead of what we want and how DISCIPLINE, obedience of rules vs. creating them together DISCIPLINE, obedience of rules vs. creating them together DESERVING PUNISHMENT AND REWARD – locus of control DESERVING PUNISHMENT AND REWARD – locus of control
outside vs. insideoutside vs. inside DRAMATIZING MISTAKES AND FAILURES vs. invitation for new DRAMATIZING MISTAKES AND FAILURES vs. invitation for new
ideas and trialsideas and trials DOMINEERING RELATIONSHIPS= Power over vs. power with.DOMINEERING RELATIONSHIPS= Power over vs. power with. DISTRUST, uniformity vs. celebration of diversity, DISTRUST, uniformity vs. celebration of diversity, DEFINITE, serious- fun, play, adventure of discovery, not knowing DEFINITE, serious- fun, play, adventure of discovery, not knowing DISPIRITED, ineffective No one is enjoying, celebration missingDISPIRITED, ineffective No one is enjoying, celebration missing
THEORETICAL STANDPOINTTHEORETICAL STANDPOINT Our Our interactivistic - constructivist approachinteractivistic - constructivist approach to the nature of human to the nature of human
development development
Self awareness development relaying on Self awareness development relaying on - Social interaction in the zone of proximal development and - Social interaction in the zone of proximal development and - interplay of both iconic and verbal means of expression- interplay of both iconic and verbal means of expression
M.B.Rosenberg’s model of non-violent communication (NVCM.B.Rosenberg’s model of non-violent communication (NVC)) It redefines the purpose of education by putting in the first place principle see see www.CNVC.orgwww.CNVC.org
“CONNECT COMPASSIONATELLY BEFORE anything else - teaching, problem solving, searching for solution in conflicts...
Radical shift in the approach to educationRadical shift in the approach to education It redefines methods of work, what is valued and how, methods of
assessment, methods of dealing with discipline and challenges...
Timothy Gallway, The inner game of tennisTimothy Gallway, The inner game of tennisThe roseThe rose
When we plant a rose seed in the earth, When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small, we notice that it is small, but we do not criticize it as rootless and stemless.but we do not criticize it as rootless and stemless. We treat it as a seed, giving it water and nourishment We treat it as a seed, giving it water and nourishment required of a seed.required of a seed. When it first shoots up out of the earth, When it first shoots up out of the earth, we don’t criticize the buds for not being open we don’t criticize the buds for not being open when they appear.when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place, and give the plant the care it needsWe stand in wonder at the process taking place, and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its developmentat each stage of its development The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the timeto the time It dies.It dies. Within it at all times, Within it at all times, it is constantly in process of change, it is constantly in process of change, yet at each stage, at each moment, yet at each stage, at each moment, it isit is Perfectly all right as it is.Perfectly all right as it is.
OVERVIEW OFOVERVIEW OFPROGRAMS IMPLEMENTATIONPROGRAMS IMPLEMENTATION
1993-20011993-2001: 8: 8000 teachers000 teachers and about 2 and about 200 000 children00 000 children involved, with the involved, with the support of UNICEF support of UNICEF
2001 -ongoing2001 -ongoing: integral part of : integral part of Civic Education in Primary schoolsCivic Education in Primary schools in in SerbiaSerbia
6900 teachers6900 teachers with the with the support of MoESsupport of MoES
3 manuals “3 manuals “Smile keepers 1, 2, andSmile keepers 1, 2, and 3” with programs for children aged 5-10, 3” with programs for children aged 5-10, 11-14, and 15-1811-14, and 15-18
3 Manuals 3 Manuals WORDS ARE WINDOWS OR THEY ARE WALLS 1,2,3WORDS ARE WINDOWS OR THEY ARE WALLS 1,2,3 for for teachers working with children from 5-10,11-14,15-18teachers working with children from 5-10,11-14,15-18
4 manuals 4 manuals Civic Education 1-4, Civic Education 1-4, for teachers working with Primary schools for teachers working with Primary schools childrenchildren
2003-20042003-2004 – “ – “Smile KeepersSmile Keepers” TV serial of 33 workshop episodes” TV serial of 33 workshop episodes
2001 -ongoing- 2001 -ongoing- Spreading abroadSpreading abroad
COMPONENTS OF TEACHERS TRAININGCOMPONENTS OF TEACHERS TRAINING Personal empowerment Personal empowerment
promoting educative competence by promoting educative competence by learning learning KNOW HOWKNOW HOW
preparation to facilitate the workshop preparation to facilitate the workshop program with childrenprogram with children
Basic training was 32 or 48 hours, followed Basic training was 32 or 48 hours, followed by additional trainings up to 96by additional trainings up to 96 hourshours
THE KEY FEATURES OF THE TEACHER’S THE KEY FEATURES OF THE TEACHER’S FACILITATION SKILLS:FACILITATION SKILLS:
compassionate, non-judgmental, non-directive compassionate, non-judgmental, non-directive presencepresence
interventionintervention in the zone of proximal in the zone of proximal development of the childdevelopment of the child
opennessopenness - there are no desirable, expected or - there are no desirable, expected or correct responsescorrect responses
honest expressionhonest expression of their own of their own observation/feelings/needs/values/requestsobservation/feelings/needs/values/requests
KEY FEATURES OF THE KEY FEATURES OF THE PROGRAMS FOR CHILDRENPROGRAMS FOR CHILDREN
Circular seating arrangements Circular seating arrangements
Active learning methodologyActive learning methodology
Playful contextPlayful context of interactionof interaction
Symbolic expressionSymbolic expression (drawing) of (drawing) of feelings and feelings and sharing about it around sharing about it around the circlethe circle, , that allows children articulate that allows children articulate and reflect on their inner experienceand reflect on their inner experience
TYPES OF TASKS TYPES OF TASKS IN “SMILE KEEPERS “ PROGRAM IN “SMILE KEEPERS “ PROGRAM
EMOTIONAL EDUCATIONEMOTIONAL EDUCATION
1. To draw 1. To draw inner, inner, visceral visceral experienceexperience of of feelingsfeelings
Here is a drawing of Here is a drawing of fearfear, , done by girl, done by girl, age 5-6age 5-6
TYPES OF TASKS TYPES OF TASKS IN “SMILE KEEPERS “ PROGRAM IN “SMILE KEEPERS “ PROGRAM
EMOTIONAL EDUCATIONEMOTIONAL EDUCATION
2. to find 2. to find symbolic symbolic expressionexpression for the for the particular feelingparticular feeling
““My My angeranger is like a drill spinning in my head”, boy age 6 is like a drill spinning in my head”, boy age 6
TYPES OF TASKS TYPES OF TASKS IN “SMILE KEEPERS “ PROGRAM IN “SMILE KEEPERS “ PROGRAM
EMOTIONAL EDUCATIONEMOTIONAL EDUCATION
3. to find 3. to find symbolic symbolic expressionexpression for inner for inner dynamics of feelingsdynamics of feelings
Me and my feelings, boy, Me and my feelings, boy, age 6age 6
TYPES OF TASKS TYPES OF TASKS IN “SMILE KEEPERS “ PROGRAM IN “SMILE KEEPERS “ PROGRAM
EMOTIONAL EDUCATIONEMOTIONAL EDUCATION 4. 4. symbolic symbolic
representation ofrepresentation of inner dynamics of inner dynamics of feelings feelings
Inner dynamics of feelings, Inner dynamics of feelings, 16 years old girl16 years old girl
Specific components of the training Specific components of the training of teachersof teachers
Clarifying intention before any actionClarifying intention before any action Translating self critique into language of need and constructive actionTranslating self critique into language of need and constructive action Accepting responsibility for the requests ( expressing I am requesting it Accepting responsibility for the requests ( expressing I am requesting it
because I am needing)because I am needing) Accepting responsibility for their own acts (translating "I don’t like it, but I do Accepting responsibility for their own acts (translating "I don’t like it, but I do
it" into "I do it because")it" into "I do it because") Using language of needs, values and positive action: translation of "I don’t Using language of needs, values and positive action: translation of "I don’t
want children to do ..." into "When I tell that, I would like children to do want children to do ..." into "When I tell that, I would like children to do ( offering alternatives). because I want, need... ." ( offering alternatives). because I want, need... ."
Estimation of accomplishments of children in terms of observation, feelings, Estimation of accomplishments of children in terms of observation, feelings, needs and requests - when it is and when it isn’t in harmony with values of needs and requests - when it is and when it isn’t in harmony with values of adults adults
Expressing appreciation in NVC termsExpressing appreciation in NVC terms Using NVC alternatives to punishment and rewardsUsing NVC alternatives to punishment and rewards Creating school rules together with children, expressed in values/positive Creating school rules together with children, expressed in values/positive
action languageaction language Receiving empathically children’s behaviour >not taking it personallyReceiving empathically children’s behaviour >not taking it personally
SOME CHALLENGES IN SOME CHALLENGES IN TEACHERS’ LEARNING OF NVCTEACHERS’ LEARNING OF NVC 1.1. Expressing needs and requestsExpressing needs and requests
2.2. Translating Translating ““I don’t want children to do...”I don’t want children to do...”
3.3. Static vs. process evaluationStatic vs. process evaluation
4.4. ExpressingExpressing appreciation in NVC termsappreciation in NVC terms
5.5. Receiving NOReceiving NO
6.6. Agreements vs. rulesAgreements vs. rules
7.7. Alternatives to punishmentAlternatives to punishment
8.8. Translating labelsTranslating labels
EVALUATION: SOME EVALUATION: SOME INTERESTING FINDINGSINTERESTING FINDINGS
Table 1. Type of change in way of communication (percentage)
type of change
with colleagues
with children
with parents
with boss with family
better expression
14.7 7.4 8.5 6.9 15.7
better receiving
36.7 33.4 19.9 11.2 27.4
less conflicts
27.4 50.1 37.5 25.0 40.7
undefined change
8.7 4.3 5.7 3.4 8.1
no change 12.0 4.9 11.3 40.5 8.1
answered 150 162 141 116 172
EVALUATION: SOME EVALUATION: SOME INTERESTING FINDINGSINTERESTING FINDINGS
Table 2. Teachers Self-confidence in their own NVC skills in communication with different partners
partner not confident
partly confident
confident mean value
stand.dev.
children 2% 34% 63.9 2.62 .53
colleagues 17.6 % 54.1% 28.3% 2.11 .67
family 6.6% 41.2% 52.3% 2.46 .62
1-3 scale, where 1=I don’t feel confidence, 2==I’m partly confident, 3=I’m confident
EVALUATION: SOME EVALUATION: SOME INTERESTING FINDINGSINTERESTING FINDINGS
Table 3. Difficulties in applying the Model of NVC
Personal inhibition, skillsnot yet developed
37.2%
Reactions of others(resistance, mocking)
41.2%
Not specified 8.8%
No difficulties 12.8%
Answered 226
THE EFFECTS OF THE PROGRAM THE EFFECTS OF THE PROGRAM ON CHILDRENS BEHAVIOURON CHILDRENS BEHAVIOUR
better able to understand the better able to understand the consequences of their behaviourconsequences of their behaviour
better able to menage their feelings better able to menage their feelings especially angerespecially anger
better at conflict management, negotiating better at conflict management, negotiating disagreementsdisagreements
have fewer fights and upsetshave fewer fights and upsets
THE EFFECTS OF THE PROGRAM THE EFFECTS OF THE PROGRAM ON CHILDRENS BEHAVIOURON CHILDRENS BEHAVIOUR
more positive feelings about self and more positive feelings about self and peerspeers
better able to focus and take other’s better able to focus and take other’s perspectiveperspective
have improved empathy and respect for have improved empathy and respect for the feelings of othersthe feelings of others
better at listening to othersbetter at listening to others
THE EFFECTS OF THE PROGRAM THE EFFECTS OF THE PROGRAM ON CHILDRENS BEHAVIOURON CHILDRENS BEHAVIOUR
have more sharing, co-operation and have more sharing, co-operation and mutual respectmutual respect
have better relations with teachershave better relations with teachers
have more willingness to learnhave more willingness to learn
have school performance betterhave school performance better
LESSONS LEARNEDLESSONS LEARNED
We noticed:We noticed:• that with a bigger number of professionals that with a bigger number of professionals
trained from one school, trained from one school, • with the school principal participating in the with the school principal participating in the
training, training, • and more continuos education of the same and more continuos education of the same
group,group,
the overall atmosphere in the school positively the overall atmosphere in the school positively changed ensuring sustainability of the programchanged ensuring sustainability of the program
LESSONS LEARNED by being AGENT OF CHANGE IN LESSONS LEARNED by being AGENT OF CHANGE IN EDUCATIONEDUCATION
WHY- constant checking of my own motivation WHY- constant checking of my own motivation Not to intervene out fear, hate, despair, judgment of wrongness) but from love and Not to intervene out fear, hate, despair, judgment of wrongness) but from love and
compassion compassion Not changing others / but for myself, to meet my own needs to make a difference, to Not changing others / but for myself, to meet my own needs to make a difference, to
contribute, to learncontribute, to learn HOW -Keep the vision and face reality as it is with compassionHOW -Keep the vision and face reality as it is with compassion STEP BY STEP> start where you canSTEP BY STEP> start where you can IT IS TRANSFORMATION- integrating old and new, focus on what to keep what IT IS TRANSFORMATION- integrating old and new, focus on what to keep what
to changeto change HAVE A GROUP- shared vision, energy, creativity, support when difficult, and HAVE A GROUP- shared vision, energy, creativity, support when difficult, and
togethernesstogetherness HAVE FUN- playful energy opens the heartsHAVE FUN- playful energy opens the hearts CELEBRATION- of every stepCELEBRATION- of every step FACING DIFFICULTIES AS A GIFT, stimulus to grow FACING DIFFICULTIES AS A GIFT, stimulus to grow DANCE between passionate commitment and letting goDANCE between passionate commitment and letting go RISK – not knowing, going out of the comfort zone, breaking the rules...RISK – not knowing, going out of the comfort zone, breaking the rules... ENJOY the PROCESS over the OUTCOMEENJOY the PROCESS over the OUTCOME GRANT ME PATIENCE LORD BUT HURRY with institutional changeGRANT ME PATIENCE LORD BUT HURRY with institutional change
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