living a more joyful and updated copy

Sula Goldenberg, LMFT

"Living a more Joyful and Authentic

Life: Finding the

Courage to Create Change"

Living a more Joyful and Authentic Life: Finding the Courage to Create Change

Life long quest Aim is not necessarily “finding happiness” What is happiness, after all? …a very subjective construct…Turning the focus inwardSearching for personal meaning, for our true self Increasing internal peace

Living a more Joyful and Authentic Life: Finding the Courage to Create Change

In my journey…People (mentors

and patients)

Books

Circumstances(Good and bad)

Living a more Joyful and Authentic Life: Finding the Courage to Create Change

Signs and symptoms that change is in order:

1. Psychological and emotional

2. Physiological Stepping up and showing up for our lives:

1. Awareness

2. Change

3. Transformation

AwarenessSigns of an ailing soul

What is the language of the soul?

AwarenessPsychological Symptoms

Sadness

“Life is just too hard… I cannot find joy”

•Difficulty Sleeping or Sleeping Too Much •Difficulty Concentrating •Feeling of Hopelessness or Helplessness •Overwhelming and Uncontrollable Negative Thoughts •Loss of Appetite or Significant Increase in Appetite •Increase in Irritability, Aggression or Anger •Thoughts That Your Life is not Worth Living

AwarenessPsychological Symptoms

Anxiety

•Surge of overwhelming panic.•Feeling of losing control or going crazy.•Heart palpitations or chest pain.•Feeling like you're going to pass out.•Trouble breathing.•Hyperventilation.•Hot flashes or chills.•Trembling or shaking “Something bad may happen…

I need to be prepared”

Psychological SymptomsInsomnia

•Inability to go to sleep•Inability to stay asleep•Waking up too early•Waking up not feeling rested

Psychological SymptomsAngerFeeling as if blood is boiling

Unable to think before you do or say

something

Feeling as if people are against you

Blaming others

“Why do they do this to me!This is not fair!”

Psychological symptoms

Addictions“I need to have one

more piece of chocolate, One more drink… one sleeping pill

will help me sleep, ormaybe two…

Emotional symptoms

“I have everything to be happy yet…

Something is missing in my life”

Emotional Symptoms

“Others have it better than me…

it is not fair”

Emotional symptoms

“I feel inexplicable mood states”

Emotional SymptomsHe said…She said…

She does not love me…They have it against me…

Nobody gets it…I feel so alone…

Emotional Symptoms

“Why does everything bad happens to me?”

Physical Symptoms

Psychological status may influencephysiology of the body

…and diseases may influence psychological status

Physical SymptomsDuring chronic stress adrenal glands release hormones called cortisol, adrenaline, norepinephrine. Adrenaline causes the heart to beat faster and raises blood pressureCortisol causes the inner lining of blood vessels to function irregularly; also connected to appetite fluctuation and weight gain Brain communicates stress to the enteric nervous system (nerves found in the lining of the gut)

Physical Symptoms Respiratory problems Skin problems Digestive problems Chronic diseases Autoimmune system problems Aches and pains

Disclaimer: This information is for this presentation purposes only

See a physician anytime you have health care concerns

Physical Symptoms

Respiratory problems Constant and recurrent colds Asthma Allergies

Physical Symptoms

Skin problems Cold sores Psoriasis Eczema Skin rashes

Physical Symptoms

Digestive problems Ulcer Reflux Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) Constipation, diarrhea

Physical Symptoms

Chronic Diseases Diabetes Asthma Arthritis Obesity

Physical Symptoms

Autoimmune system problems Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Diabetes Mellitus (DM) Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) Lupus

Physical Symptoms

Aches and pains Neck Back pain Shoulders Jaws etc.

Change and Transformation We all have an Ally She is the one that knows She is loyal to the She is fluent in the languages of dreams She contains our instincts She carries the bundles for healing

inside

Change and Transformation

Where do I start? Right where I am

Change and Transformation

When do I start?

Change and Transformation

Do not need to see all the way out

Change and Transformation

But…what do I do? At first: NOTHING …Just notice

Change and Transformation

Wake up from being unconscious

Change and Transformation

Ask questions… No need to have the answers Suspend judgmentPractice compassion

Change and Transformation STOP AND REFLECTWhat is happening? How do I make life comealive again?

Awareness What do I see? What do I hear? What do I feel?

Re-attaching our souls

Awareness Who am I? We all receive maps from parents, religious sources, history etc. Sometimes these maps are helpful and rewarding, sometimes they are not. Am I living someone else’s map?

Awareness

Authenticity: getting back to the guiding “source”, to the light, to our Psyche (Greek word meaning soul)

Awareness

Pay attention Listen to your inner voice What does your deeper self desire? What is my work here?

Awareness

What are my dreams about?

Write them downAsk: what about it

resonates with my life now

Awareness Let’s practice…Your Inner Guide Get centered – deep breath Finding the wise inside

Awareness Once we have awareness… change is a possibility

Change Conscious decision to:

Show up for our life Give ourselves permission… Take responsibility for our happiness

Change For change to take place…

Awareness Action1 2

Change

Does not need to be monumental, it starts with a single step

Change

Messy

Non Linear

Change

Obstacles: Fear

Change

Obstacles: What will others say?

Change

Will that stop us? What are the options? Flight from this task will only perpetuate our symptoms

Living partially and fearfully is a form of dying

Change Crossing the threshold of fear

“Change happens when the pain

of staying the same is greater than

the pain to change” Tony Robins

Change

How long will it take?Ongoing work…

ChangeThe Self

Each of us need to take An active role

Who is in charge?YOU

Change Who else can help?Professional help: Psychotherapist Psychiatrist Curandero, sobador etc…

Change Who else can help? Close connections Who do you trust?Your friend?Your family?Your partner?Your-self?

ChangeThe Self

Going back to the source:

Change

Our soul seeks expression

Transformation Change + daily practice = Transformation ...But, what does it mean?

Every day is an opportunity to tend to our garden

Transformation

Courage, effort and practice…Pulls us from our comfort zone

TRANSFORMATION

Transformation- Do we need to open a dooror close one? - The task each one of us needs to address is different

Transformation Redeeming the purpose of our souls’ journey

Homecoming

Transformation

We predict the future by creating it

Giving Credit Inspiration and some thoughts adapted from: