let’s talk about news writing - · pdf filenews writing let’s talk about ......

By Jeanne Acton, UIL Journalism & ILPC Director

News Writing

Let’s talk about …

News Writing … gives the reader information that will have an impact on them in some way. It usually flows from most important to least important. “What is news? It is information only.” - Walter Cronkite, former CBS News anchor

Transition/Quote Formula

Lead:Most important information. Focus on newest

information. Focus on the future.

Additional Information:Important information not found in the lead.

Sometimes not needed.

Direct Quote:Connects to the additional information or lead.

Use more than one sentence.

Transition:Next important fact or opinion for the story .

Use transition words to help story flow . Transi-

tion can be a fact, indirect quote or partial

quote.

Direct Quote:Connects to the first transition. Use more than

one sentence. Do not repeat the transition in the

quote. DQ should elaborate on the transition.

DQ should give details, opinions, etc.

Transition:Next important fact or opinion for the story .

Use transition words to help story flow . Transi-

tion can be a fact, indirect quote or partial

quote.

and so on!!! until the story is complete

Direct Quote:Connects to the second transition. Use more

than one sentence. Do not repeat the transition

in the quote. DQ should elaborate on the transi-

tion. DQ should give details, opinions, etc.

Linked

Linked

Linked

Side Notes:

1) Each box isa new a para-

graph.2) Story

should flow

from mostimportant to

least importantinformation.

Let’s start at the beginning with … LEADS.

Leads Let’s talk about

Lead:Most important information. Focus on newest

information. Focus on the future.

Question to ask yourself:

What do my readers need to know most???

Leads

Most leads for the News Writing Contest should be summary leads. That means they summarize the 5 Ws and H of the story, starting off with the most important W or H.

Types of News Leads:

Rarely use these...

“Who lead” - begins with a person. The person

is usually not the most important fact of the story.

“When lead” - begins with time. Rarely is the

time the most imporant factor.

“Where lead” - begins with the place. Hardly

ever is where the most important factor.

Types of News Leads:Use these often...

“How lead” - begins with the how of the story.

Used often.

“Why lead” - begins with the cause the story.

Used often.

“What lead” - begins with the fact of the story.

Used often.

Question: Do we use this type of lead often? Why?

Who lead

Maybe… probably yes. American Idol winner Phillip Phillips will perform a concert at the high school Thursday after giving a speech at the County Expo Center.

Definitely NO! School Board President Joe Blow announced Tuesday that students will no longer be allowed to leave campus for lunch due to excessive tardies.

Question:

How often do we use this type of lead?

When lead

Maybe (probably not)...

On Thursday, President Barack Obama will speak to the senior class about how important community organizing and volunteering are to the country.

Definitely no! On Tuesday, Principal Joe Blow announced that students will no longer be able to leave campus for lunch.

Question: Why is this type of lead rarely used?

Where lead

Maybe … probably yes. In the principal’s office, the senior class dumped 30 pounds of sand to protest the cancellation of the senior trip to Cancun.

Definitely no! At the school board meeting on Tuesday, Principal Joe Blow announced that he has ended the off-campus lunch policy.

How lead Through a grass roots voting effort, senior Gilbert Castillo won the mayoral election to become the youngest mayor in the city’s history.

Why lead In the wake of the bleacher collapse at the stadium, the location for the district track meet has moved to Southside High School, and the district is looking for an alternate graduation site.

What lead The community has the chance to speak on the proposed coffee bar at the school board meeting Thursday night.

Now that we know the type of lead we are looking for, how do we write a good lead?

• read the entire prompt • find the newest information in the prompt • beware of older, more controversial news • write one to two sentences summarizing the “new” news including as many other Ws and H as possible • write in third person, concise and to the point — just the facts, ma’am • leave out the word ‘Leaguetown’ unless necessary for understanding

News Writing

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Leaguetown High School, located in West Texas, has 700 students enrolled in grades 9-12. Two weeks ago, sophomore Stacy Carol was suspended for three days for refusing to remove her lip-piercing jewelry. The facial jewelry violates the Leaguetown ISD dress code. Since Stacy returned to school wearing her lip jewelry, she has been in In-School Suspension for the past nine school days. On April 10, the school will have a disciplinary hearing to remove Carol to the alternative school until she removes the lip jewelry. Carol says her First Amendment right to exercise religion is being violated.

Stacy Carol and her mother, Lareina, belong to the Church of Body Modification. It is an interfaith church that practices ancient and modern body modification rites as ways of experiencing the divine. The church has a clergy, a statement of beliefs and a formal process for accepting new members. The church says it has approximately 3,500 members in the U.S.

The dress code prohibits all facial piercing except ears for females. The dress code also prohibits hats and headwear, but two Muslim students have exemptions so they can wear their hijabs.

The local chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union agreed to defend Carol at her discipline hearing and said if she lost, it would pursue the issue in court. You are writing for the issue of the Press to be distributed Monday, April 9.

! PARKER GORDON, superintendent“I cannot comment on this specific case or discuss an individual student’s

discipline issues. When we created this dress code in 2009, the district sought input from students, faculty and community members. Together, we designed a plan that was appropriate for our district. Facial jewelry did not make the cut. We have a dress code to have order and discipline in our schools. Imagine what our schools would be like if we allowed students to wear whatever they liked. We also want our students to understand expectations in dress. Employers have dress codes. We are modeling the business world with our expectations.”

! STACY CAROL, sophomore“I don’t understand why the district won’t drop this. I have never been

suspended. In fact, I have never had a referral. I am a straight-A student. I just want to get back to class.

“My mother and I joined the church over the winter break. We had been searching for a church since we moved to Leaguetown last year. We meet at

the minister’s house with about seven to 10 members each Sunday.“We don’t worship a tattooed god or anything like that. Our spirituality comes from what we choose

to do to ourselves. Through body modification, we can change how we see ourselves and the world around us. Not every member has a facial piercing. You choose how you want to express your faith.”

! , parent“I was grateful when the ACLU agreed to help us. The piercing is part of Stacy’s religion. My

daughter wants to go to class, but she also doesn’t want her First Amendment rights trampled. I asked Stacy if she wanted to back down and take out the lip jewelry, but she believes in our church and in our freedom. She wants to stand up for herself and for that, I am proud.”

!! constitutional lawyer“People cry First Amendment violations all of the time. Freedom of religion is a big one. Just

because a few people get together and call themselves a church doesn’t mean they are a church in the eyes of the law. Heck, in Australia, there is a movement for a Jedi church. Does that mean we have to allow all teenage boys to wear Jedi Knight robes and carry light sabers to school? The school district should hold its ground. I believe the courts will see the absurdity in this.

“Most Americans would be surprised to learn just how little protection the First Amendment provides for religious-freedom claims under current law. The U.S. Supreme Court seriously weakened the reach of the free-exercise clause in 1990 by ruling that government no longer must show a ‘compelling state interest’ before denying a religious exemption to an otherwise neutral, generally applicable law.”

!! junior“I don’t think you can compare the Muslim religion to the Church of Body Modification. We have a

rich and long history. There are more than a billion Muslims worldwide. Our beliefs are documented. I don’t have a problem with Stacy’s lip piercing, but comparing her lip piercing to my hijab is absurd.”

!! ACLU lawyer“Stacy has a solid case. It is in the best interest of the school district to allow her a religious

exemption from the dress code. A court case could be costly and lengthy. The district doesn’t have much to stand on since it already has two religious exemptions on file. It will be hard pressed to defend that in a court.”

!! The minister of Stacy’s church declined to comment.

! STACY CAROL, cont.

The American Civil Liberties Union will defend sophomore Stacy Carol in a disciplinary hearing on April 10. The hearing is to decide whether to remove Carol to the alternative school until she removes the lip-piercing jewelry.

What lead

Because the American Civil Liberties Union believes Stacy Carol has a right to wear her lip piercing, the ACLU will defend the sophomore in her disciplinary hearing on April 10. The hearing is to decide whether to remove Carol to the alternative school.

Why lead

Direct Quotes

Let’s talk about

Direct Quotes: Ø  Should be linked to the paragraph before them. The quote should elaborate on the previous paragraph.

For example:

Superintendent Parker Gordon said when the district created the dress code in 2009, it received input from students, faculty and the community. “Together, we designed a plan that was appropriate for our district,” he said. “Facial jewelry did not make the cut.”

Gordon said he could not comment on Carol’s discipline situation.

Next transition

What comes next? From whom?

Gordon said he could not comment on Carol’s discipline situation. “We have a dress code to have order and discipline in our schools,” he said. “Imagine what our schools would be like if we allowed students to wear whatever they would like.”

Direct quote – elaborates on previous transition

What follows this?

Over winter break, Carol and her mother joined their church, which has a clergy, a statement of beliefs and a formal process for accepting new members. The church says it has approximately 3,500 members in the U.S. “Our spirituality comes from what we choose to do with ourselves,” Carol said. “Through body modification, we can change how we see ourselves and the world around us.” The district has made exceptions for religious dress practices. Currently, two Muslim students have exemptions so they can wear their hijabs. “I don’t think you can compare the Muslim religion to the Church of Body Modification,” junior Amina Shakuri said. “We have a rich and long history. There are more than a billion Muslims worldwide.”

More transitions and quotes (linked)

Direct Quotes: Ø  Should not repeat the transition/lead before them.

For example:

Gordon said he could not comment on Carol’s discipline situation. “I can not comment on the issue,” Gordon said.

Ø  Can be longer than one sentence.

Direct Quotes: Ø Should have attribution after the first sentence of the quote. Ø Attribution should be: Noun then verb.

For example: Correct - senior Bob Rodriguez said. Incorrect - said senior Bob Rodriguez.

(unless you have an unusually long title) Ø Do not place two people’s direct quotes next to each other without a transition.

Transitions Let’s talk about

Transitions

Ø  VERY, VERY IMPORTANT. Hold the story together. Link the paragraphs together. Ø Can be fact, indirect quote or a partial quote.

For example - FACT TRANSITION: (lead) President Barack Obama will speak on Friday to

seniors about getting involved in community service work. (Direct Quote)“Seniors will learn a lot about duty and

commitment when they hear President Obama,” Principal Ike Sumter said. “We are so excited that he agreed to come.” (Fact Transition) Before becoming president, Obama

worked as a community organizer in Chicago.

Transitions Ø  Can be fact, indirect quote or a partial quote.

For example - INDIRECT QUOTE TRANSITION: (Lead) President Barack Obama will speak on Friday

to seniors about getting involved in community service work. (Direct Quote)“Seniors will learn a lot about duty and

commitment when they hear President Obama,” Principal Ike Sumter said. “We are so excited that he agreed to come.” (IQ Transition) President Obama said he believes community service is more important than college in building character.

Ø Can be fact, indirect quote or a partial quote. For example - PARTIAL QUOTE TRANSITION: (Lead) President Barack Obama will speak on Friday to seniors about getting involved in community service work. (Direct Quote)“Seniors will learn a lot about duty

and commitment when they hear President Obama,” Principal Ike Sumter said. “We are so excited that he agreed to come.” (PQ Transition) President Obama said he believes community service is “extremely valuable lesson” for every teen to have.

Transitions

(Lead) President Barack Obama will speak on Friday to seniors about getting involved in community service work. (Direct Quote)“Seniors will learn a lot about duty

and commitment when they hear President Obama,” Principal Ike Sumter said. “We are so excited that he agreed to come.” (IQ Transition) Community service is vital for America’s success, the President said. (Direct Quote) “Our nation was built from the givers, and the doers,” he said. “To keep this nation moving forward, we need more giving and less taking.”

What comes next??

The T/Q formula

President Obama plans on honoring 25 seniors who performed more than 200 hours of community service last year, Sumter said. “I bet those seniors never thought the President of

the United States would honor them for their community service,” Sumter said. Senior Darryl Butler, one of the seniors who will be honored, volunteered more than 300 hours at the Capital Area Food Bank last year. “I learned so much working there,” Butler said. “I am excited the President is honoring us, but my real reward is helping people in our community.”

Ø Use transitional words to help with the flow (as needed): After all, Also, Finally, In addition, However, Otherwise, Then

For example:

In addition to speaking about community service, Obama plans to talk to students about the importance of voting.

Transitions

Ø  Use parts of the direct quotes to create the transition. And then use the rest of the quote as direct quote.

Transitions

For example • Parker Gordon, superintendent “I cannot comment on this specific case or discuss an individual student’s discipline issues. When we created this dress code in 2009, the district sought input from students, faculty and community members. Together, we designed a plan that was appropriate for our district. Facial jewelry did not make the cut. We have a dress code to have order and discipline in our schools. Imagine what our schools would be like if we allowed students to wear whatever they liked. We also want our students to understand expectations in dress. Employers have dress codes. We are modeling the business world with our expectations.”

Gordon said he could not comment on Carol’s discipline situation. “We have a dress code to have order and discipline in our schools,” he said. “Imagine what our schools would be like if we allowed students to wear whatever they would like.”

The Transition

Direct Quote

Transition/Quote Formula

Lead:Most important information. Focus on newest

information. Focus on the future.

Additional Information:Important information not found in the lead.

Sometimes not needed.

Direct Quote:Connects to the additional information or lead.

Use more than one sentence.

Transition:Next important fact or opinion for the story .

Use transition words to help story flow . Transi-

tion can be a fact, indirect quote or partial

quote.

Direct Quote:Connects to the first transition. Use more than

one sentence. Do not repeat the transition in the

quote. DQ should elaborate on the transition.

DQ should give details, opinions, etc.

Transition:Next important fact or opinion for the story .

Use transition words to help story flow . Transi-

tion can be a fact, indirect quote or partial

quote.

and so on!!! until the story is complete

Direct Quote:Connects to the second transition. Use more

than one sentence. Do not repeat the transition

in the quote. DQ should elaborate on the transi-

tion. DQ should give details, opinions, etc.

Linked

Linked

Linked

Side Notes:

1) Each box isa new a para-

graph.2) Story

should flow

from mostimportant to

least importantinformation.

What types of leads should you use more?

Where should you place the attribution for a direct quote?

How many sentences can a direct quote be?

What is the purpose of the transition?

What can a transition be?

Following a transition, what should a direct quote do?

Let’s Review …

What can you use to create transitions?

No-nos for News Stories §  Using the word “Leaguetown”

§  Starting with “The School Board …”

§  Writing a feature lead

§  Adding facts

§  Putting attribution before the quote

§  Missing the news peg

§  Missing important information and people

§  Stacking quotes

§  Forgetting to use student quotes

Checklist for News Stories ü  Are the most important and recent facts first?

ü  Is the story accurate? Are the sources identified fully?

ü  Are the paragraphs short?

ü  Is the sentence structure varied in the story?

ü  Is the story neat and double-spaced so that it is easy to read?

ü Does your story flow? Did you use the transition/quote formula?

ü  Did you use active voice?

What will make the difference?

§  Getting the news peg in the lead

What will make the difference?

§  Using the T/Q formula

What will make the difference?

§  Using the “correct” sources and quotes

Pitfalls to Avoid

Ø  Editorializing - Keep your opinion out of the story

Ø  Using first and second person - Keep yourself out of the story. Common error: “our school”

Ø Messy handwriting, poor grammar and spelling

Ø  Paragraphs too long

Ø  Misspelling names in the story

Ø Trying to use all of the information

What went wrong? At Leaguetown High School about 35 students skipped at least one period each school day. The assistant principals said many of the skippers hide in bathrooms, outside the school or in their cars. In an effort to reduce truancy, all students will receive new school IDs with built-in tracking devices on April 2, but one parent is working with the American Civil Liberties Union to stop the use of such devices. “This is a blatant violation of my son’s privacy rights,” said parent Don Cantrell. “He doesn’t want someone watching him at all times. No child in the United States should be tagged or tracked.” But Strobinski, who proposed the new IDs, doesn’t understand the concerns. She said, “We will never use the tracking device on them [students] unless they are skipping class or there is an emergency of some type. Plus, the tracking only works at the school.” With the new IDs, administrators will be able to track our students for a range of 200 yards from the principal’s office. “Students will be less likely to skip if they know we can find them quite easily,” Strubinski said. “Students should not have any concerns if they don’t skip class.” “Students who have never skipped should not have to wear such an ID,” sophmore Johnny Rains said.

Contest Day 1.  Read the entire prompt.

2.  Review it again, looking for the newest information. Underline that information.

3.  Highlight or underline the 5Ws and H.

4.  Highlight or underline the most important people interviewed. Highlight or underline the most essential quotes.

5.  Scratch out stupid, inane quotes.

6.  Pay attention to the “Additional Information.”

7.  Write your lead. How, why or what lead.

Contest Day 8. Write an additional info. paragraph if needed.

9. Use a direct quote (more than one sentence is okay).

10. Write a transition about the next most important thing.

11. Use a direct quote directly related to the transition above. If it’s an indirect quote transition, use a direct quote from that same person.

12. Write another transition about the next most important thing.

13. Another direct quote.

14. Keep going.

Let’s practice! •  Get in groups of four to five

•  Follow the steps from “Contest Day”

•  Write as much as you can. Edit. Write. Edit.

Did you get the news peg?