keys to effective person-to-person communications
Post on 02-Dec-2014
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The keys to
effective
person-to-person
communications
Person-to-person
communication is supposed
to be a dialog,
an exchange of
information,
ideas,
perspectives,
and stuff like that
Uh-huh…
But, in the real world, for
all sorts of reasons, it‟s
not always easy…
and it‟s not always
the other person
who makes
communication
difficult
Especially if each person in a
conversation believes “I‟m the
only one trying to communicate.”
Often in communication
situations, one person has do the
all the communicating
I help people communicate
(no, I am not a therapist)
Mike Harkins, creative guy and
media consultant
The Way to Communicate comes
out later this year – it‟s a
philosophical and practical method
for communicating effectively
I help people communicate
I help people communicate
I help people communicate
www.communicator.pro
www.writesite.com
I help people communicate
Lou Naidorf, AIA Fellow
What are the keys to
effective communication?
What are the keys to
better communication?
Perception
Expectation
Recognition
Pro-action
and
Respect
Perceptions too often override reality
We can‟t always know what someone‟s
reality is at any given time
A possible perception of
how you feel
A possible perception of
how you see them
A possible perception of
how they see you
Perceptions too often override reality
We can‟t always know what someone‟s
reality is at any given time
Someone‟s reaction to what we do or
say may seem waaaaayyy over the top
But before you assume they‟re just a jerk…
Before you decide how you‟re going to
respond…
Take a moment to consider that…
They might be dealing with something that‟s
making them, well, cranky.
Expectations
Yours and theirs
It‟s a thin line that separates
expectations and assumptions
Expectations are only realized when
expectations are defined
Expectations are only realized when
expectations are defined…
and, even then…
Manage your expectations and you can
manage theirs
Greet, meet, and review (how else
will they know what you do?)
Manage your expectations and you can
manage theirs
Hey, wait a
minute – do you
know what you
do?
Manage your expectations and you can
manage theirs
Never leave a „variable‟ on your / their
expectation list.
Recognition
Yours and theirs
Recognition means your
acceptance of…
Knowing who you work for
Knowing that you occasionally
have to do things you‟d rather not
You will not always be perceived
nor rewarded for having saved
the day when, indeed, you did.
And it should mean their
acceptance of…
Knowing what you do
Knowing that you occasionally
have to do things you‟d rather not
Knowing that you most certainly
have too much to do
Forgetting all of the above
Pro-action
(actually, it‟s about being proactive – I
called it pro-action so it would fit neatly
with the words that preceded it)
Yours!
Be proactive
You believe you know, better than
anyone else, how it all works
Be proactive
You believe you know, better than
anyone else, how it all works
Prove it
Be proactive
You believe you know, better than
anyone else, how it all works
Prove it
But don‟t make a big deal about it
…yet
Be above reproach
“Try, won‟t, can‟t, or couldn‟t,” even if
they‟re true, won‟t matter
“Try, won‟t, can‟t, or couldn‟t,” even if
they‟re true, won‟t matter
So don‟t allow yourself to be distracted,
ambushed, or „wrong‟
LEAD!
(but do it as if you weren‟t)
Conduct the orchestra
You have the advantage:
You know many of „them‟,
You know how they act and react,
and
You know the „future‟
Gain and maintain the advantage
It‟s not as much about
your plan as it is the
action
Gain and maintain the advantage
Make your enemy your friend
Never hide, and always have an answer
Give them what they want before they
want it
Gain and maintain the advantage
Find what works for you to stay ahead
1
NOW, no
matter
what!
2
Deadline,
no matter
what!
3
Eventually,
but gotta
get it done
4
someday…
Gain and maintain the advantage
Offensive defense:
How to be responsive (makes them happy)
and still protect yourself…and your
time…and your space…
Gain and maintain the advantage
Offensive defense:
Them: “Got a minute?” and other variations
You: “For you, I‟ve got two minutes.”
Plan for three to four, and then, “I‟m going to
work on this, find an answer, and, is it all
right if I email you?”
Gain and maintain the advantage
Offensive defense:
Them: “Got a minute?” and other variations
If you truly don‟t have a minute, give them
something solid to hold on to:
“I have to/I‟m in a (whatever it is), and I‟ll call
you back at (a time you know will work).”
Gain and maintain the advantage
Most will accept that something may be late, a
deadline has to be extended, etc, you just have to
make sure they know.
Most will accept that you have a life, but you may
have to remind them every now and then (using a
different phrase than “I have a life, you know.”)
Respect
Yours and theirs
Respect
Yours and theirs
If you feel abused, it needs to be
assessed and addressed.
If someone thinks you‟re abusive,
ditto.
Just because we have to earn
respect, doesn‟t mean we should
be dis-respected in the meantime.
Respect
Yours and theirs
When the reaction is out of proportion, it‟s not
about you…
unless everyone has that same reaction.
Do what wasn‟t
expected
Personal congratulations and
attaboys for members
Answers or information before it
was expected
Don‟t forget to show
yourself some respect
Keep track of your successes
Your success IS the organization‟s success
Learn from yourself and your successes
Celebrate yourself
What are the keys to
effective communication?
Perception
Expectation
Recognition
Pro-action
and
Respect
The keys to
effective communications
Thank you so much.
Hope I‟ve helped you find
The Way to
Communicate
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