citrix ebook it humor cartoons
Post on 24-Dec-2015
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IT humor Enjoy 8 cartoons that
poke fun at common
IT security data and
management issues
2
Therersquos little success where therersquos little laughter Andrew Carnegie
Your company and your clients depend upon you the stoic IT professional to keep critical systems secure and running around the clock This responsibility requires your team to maintain the highest industry standards in security and performance However it also requires a positive attitude
Please enjoy this assortment of the best IT-related humor created by the cartoonist John Klossner and brought to you by Citrix
IT security and data humor
Given a choice between dancing pigs and security users will pick dancing pigs every time Edward Felten and Gary McGraw
3
4
5
6
7
8
Evolution of technology one-liners
ldquoThere are only 10 types of people in the world those that understand binary and those that donrsquotrdquo
ldquoArtificial intelligence usually beats real stupidityrdquo
ldquoTo err is human ndash and to blame it on a computer is even more sordquo
ldquoCAPS LOCK ndash Preventing Login Since 1980rdquo
ldquoIf at first you donrsquot succeed call it version 10rdquo
Tina Sieber wwwmakeuseofcom
9
10
11
IT management joke How many CIOs does it take to screw in a light bulb
bull Define light bulb bull Canrsquot we just move it to the cloud bull You can unscrew a light bulb bullldquoThe change is 90 completerdquo bull None ldquoWersquoll just tell the users darkness is an enhancementrdquo bull Two one to screw in the light bulb and one to watch him to make sure he doesnrsquot say lsquonipplersquo bull It burned out Are you sure you tried rebooting bull I thought cloud computing made maintenance a thing of the past
The Higher Ed CIOwww blogthehigheredciocom
12
13
14
Citrix cloud servicesCitrix cloud-based solutions make it easy for IT professionals to maintain work-life balance and support employees mdash anytime anywhere
GoToAssist enables individuals and organizations to provide secure technical assistance to people and technology to quickly assign and track incidents and manage updates and configuration changes and to easily monitor their IT infrastructure
GoToMeeting makes it easy for individuals and organizations to meet present information and demonstrate products in secure online meetings Its cost-effective subscription model delivers unlimited meetings for one flat fee and includes built-in audio and HD video conferencing
GoToMyPC is the simple-to-use remote access tool that lets you instantly connect with your Mac or PC from any Internet connection
About the cartoonistJohn Klossnerrsquos cartoons and illustrations have appeared in a wide variety of print and electronic publications including The New Yorker Barronrsquos Computerworld Federal Computer Week and The Wall Street Journal Learn more at wwwjklossnercom
ldquoCitrix remains the market share leaderhellip by focusing on simple-to-use solutions and introducing innovative services that deliver on customer needsrdquo
- IDC
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
2
Therersquos little success where therersquos little laughter Andrew Carnegie
Your company and your clients depend upon you the stoic IT professional to keep critical systems secure and running around the clock This responsibility requires your team to maintain the highest industry standards in security and performance However it also requires a positive attitude
Please enjoy this assortment of the best IT-related humor created by the cartoonist John Klossner and brought to you by Citrix
IT security and data humor
Given a choice between dancing pigs and security users will pick dancing pigs every time Edward Felten and Gary McGraw
3
4
5
6
7
8
Evolution of technology one-liners
ldquoThere are only 10 types of people in the world those that understand binary and those that donrsquotrdquo
ldquoArtificial intelligence usually beats real stupidityrdquo
ldquoTo err is human ndash and to blame it on a computer is even more sordquo
ldquoCAPS LOCK ndash Preventing Login Since 1980rdquo
ldquoIf at first you donrsquot succeed call it version 10rdquo
Tina Sieber wwwmakeuseofcom
9
10
11
IT management joke How many CIOs does it take to screw in a light bulb
bull Define light bulb bull Canrsquot we just move it to the cloud bull You can unscrew a light bulb bullldquoThe change is 90 completerdquo bull None ldquoWersquoll just tell the users darkness is an enhancementrdquo bull Two one to screw in the light bulb and one to watch him to make sure he doesnrsquot say lsquonipplersquo bull It burned out Are you sure you tried rebooting bull I thought cloud computing made maintenance a thing of the past
The Higher Ed CIOwww blogthehigheredciocom
12
13
14
Citrix cloud servicesCitrix cloud-based solutions make it easy for IT professionals to maintain work-life balance and support employees mdash anytime anywhere
GoToAssist enables individuals and organizations to provide secure technical assistance to people and technology to quickly assign and track incidents and manage updates and configuration changes and to easily monitor their IT infrastructure
GoToMeeting makes it easy for individuals and organizations to meet present information and demonstrate products in secure online meetings Its cost-effective subscription model delivers unlimited meetings for one flat fee and includes built-in audio and HD video conferencing
GoToMyPC is the simple-to-use remote access tool that lets you instantly connect with your Mac or PC from any Internet connection
About the cartoonistJohn Klossnerrsquos cartoons and illustrations have appeared in a wide variety of print and electronic publications including The New Yorker Barronrsquos Computerworld Federal Computer Week and The Wall Street Journal Learn more at wwwjklossnercom
ldquoCitrix remains the market share leaderhellip by focusing on simple-to-use solutions and introducing innovative services that deliver on customer needsrdquo
- IDC
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
IT security and data humor
Given a choice between dancing pigs and security users will pick dancing pigs every time Edward Felten and Gary McGraw
3
4
5
6
7
8
Evolution of technology one-liners
ldquoThere are only 10 types of people in the world those that understand binary and those that donrsquotrdquo
ldquoArtificial intelligence usually beats real stupidityrdquo
ldquoTo err is human ndash and to blame it on a computer is even more sordquo
ldquoCAPS LOCK ndash Preventing Login Since 1980rdquo
ldquoIf at first you donrsquot succeed call it version 10rdquo
Tina Sieber wwwmakeuseofcom
9
10
11
IT management joke How many CIOs does it take to screw in a light bulb
bull Define light bulb bull Canrsquot we just move it to the cloud bull You can unscrew a light bulb bullldquoThe change is 90 completerdquo bull None ldquoWersquoll just tell the users darkness is an enhancementrdquo bull Two one to screw in the light bulb and one to watch him to make sure he doesnrsquot say lsquonipplersquo bull It burned out Are you sure you tried rebooting bull I thought cloud computing made maintenance a thing of the past
The Higher Ed CIOwww blogthehigheredciocom
12
13
14
Citrix cloud servicesCitrix cloud-based solutions make it easy for IT professionals to maintain work-life balance and support employees mdash anytime anywhere
GoToAssist enables individuals and organizations to provide secure technical assistance to people and technology to quickly assign and track incidents and manage updates and configuration changes and to easily monitor their IT infrastructure
GoToMeeting makes it easy for individuals and organizations to meet present information and demonstrate products in secure online meetings Its cost-effective subscription model delivers unlimited meetings for one flat fee and includes built-in audio and HD video conferencing
GoToMyPC is the simple-to-use remote access tool that lets you instantly connect with your Mac or PC from any Internet connection
About the cartoonistJohn Klossnerrsquos cartoons and illustrations have appeared in a wide variety of print and electronic publications including The New Yorker Barronrsquos Computerworld Federal Computer Week and The Wall Street Journal Learn more at wwwjklossnercom
ldquoCitrix remains the market share leaderhellip by focusing on simple-to-use solutions and introducing innovative services that deliver on customer needsrdquo
- IDC
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
4
5
6
7
8
Evolution of technology one-liners
ldquoThere are only 10 types of people in the world those that understand binary and those that donrsquotrdquo
ldquoArtificial intelligence usually beats real stupidityrdquo
ldquoTo err is human ndash and to blame it on a computer is even more sordquo
ldquoCAPS LOCK ndash Preventing Login Since 1980rdquo
ldquoIf at first you donrsquot succeed call it version 10rdquo
Tina Sieber wwwmakeuseofcom
9
10
11
IT management joke How many CIOs does it take to screw in a light bulb
bull Define light bulb bull Canrsquot we just move it to the cloud bull You can unscrew a light bulb bullldquoThe change is 90 completerdquo bull None ldquoWersquoll just tell the users darkness is an enhancementrdquo bull Two one to screw in the light bulb and one to watch him to make sure he doesnrsquot say lsquonipplersquo bull It burned out Are you sure you tried rebooting bull I thought cloud computing made maintenance a thing of the past
The Higher Ed CIOwww blogthehigheredciocom
12
13
14
Citrix cloud servicesCitrix cloud-based solutions make it easy for IT professionals to maintain work-life balance and support employees mdash anytime anywhere
GoToAssist enables individuals and organizations to provide secure technical assistance to people and technology to quickly assign and track incidents and manage updates and configuration changes and to easily monitor their IT infrastructure
GoToMeeting makes it easy for individuals and organizations to meet present information and demonstrate products in secure online meetings Its cost-effective subscription model delivers unlimited meetings for one flat fee and includes built-in audio and HD video conferencing
GoToMyPC is the simple-to-use remote access tool that lets you instantly connect with your Mac or PC from any Internet connection
About the cartoonistJohn Klossnerrsquos cartoons and illustrations have appeared in a wide variety of print and electronic publications including The New Yorker Barronrsquos Computerworld Federal Computer Week and The Wall Street Journal Learn more at wwwjklossnercom
ldquoCitrix remains the market share leaderhellip by focusing on simple-to-use solutions and introducing innovative services that deliver on customer needsrdquo
- IDC
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
5
6
7
8
Evolution of technology one-liners
ldquoThere are only 10 types of people in the world those that understand binary and those that donrsquotrdquo
ldquoArtificial intelligence usually beats real stupidityrdquo
ldquoTo err is human ndash and to blame it on a computer is even more sordquo
ldquoCAPS LOCK ndash Preventing Login Since 1980rdquo
ldquoIf at first you donrsquot succeed call it version 10rdquo
Tina Sieber wwwmakeuseofcom
9
10
11
IT management joke How many CIOs does it take to screw in a light bulb
bull Define light bulb bull Canrsquot we just move it to the cloud bull You can unscrew a light bulb bullldquoThe change is 90 completerdquo bull None ldquoWersquoll just tell the users darkness is an enhancementrdquo bull Two one to screw in the light bulb and one to watch him to make sure he doesnrsquot say lsquonipplersquo bull It burned out Are you sure you tried rebooting bull I thought cloud computing made maintenance a thing of the past
The Higher Ed CIOwww blogthehigheredciocom
12
13
14
Citrix cloud servicesCitrix cloud-based solutions make it easy for IT professionals to maintain work-life balance and support employees mdash anytime anywhere
GoToAssist enables individuals and organizations to provide secure technical assistance to people and technology to quickly assign and track incidents and manage updates and configuration changes and to easily monitor their IT infrastructure
GoToMeeting makes it easy for individuals and organizations to meet present information and demonstrate products in secure online meetings Its cost-effective subscription model delivers unlimited meetings for one flat fee and includes built-in audio and HD video conferencing
GoToMyPC is the simple-to-use remote access tool that lets you instantly connect with your Mac or PC from any Internet connection
About the cartoonistJohn Klossnerrsquos cartoons and illustrations have appeared in a wide variety of print and electronic publications including The New Yorker Barronrsquos Computerworld Federal Computer Week and The Wall Street Journal Learn more at wwwjklossnercom
ldquoCitrix remains the market share leaderhellip by focusing on simple-to-use solutions and introducing innovative services that deliver on customer needsrdquo
- IDC
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
6
7
8
Evolution of technology one-liners
ldquoThere are only 10 types of people in the world those that understand binary and those that donrsquotrdquo
ldquoArtificial intelligence usually beats real stupidityrdquo
ldquoTo err is human ndash and to blame it on a computer is even more sordquo
ldquoCAPS LOCK ndash Preventing Login Since 1980rdquo
ldquoIf at first you donrsquot succeed call it version 10rdquo
Tina Sieber wwwmakeuseofcom
9
10
11
IT management joke How many CIOs does it take to screw in a light bulb
bull Define light bulb bull Canrsquot we just move it to the cloud bull You can unscrew a light bulb bullldquoThe change is 90 completerdquo bull None ldquoWersquoll just tell the users darkness is an enhancementrdquo bull Two one to screw in the light bulb and one to watch him to make sure he doesnrsquot say lsquonipplersquo bull It burned out Are you sure you tried rebooting bull I thought cloud computing made maintenance a thing of the past
The Higher Ed CIOwww blogthehigheredciocom
12
13
14
Citrix cloud servicesCitrix cloud-based solutions make it easy for IT professionals to maintain work-life balance and support employees mdash anytime anywhere
GoToAssist enables individuals and organizations to provide secure technical assistance to people and technology to quickly assign and track incidents and manage updates and configuration changes and to easily monitor their IT infrastructure
GoToMeeting makes it easy for individuals and organizations to meet present information and demonstrate products in secure online meetings Its cost-effective subscription model delivers unlimited meetings for one flat fee and includes built-in audio and HD video conferencing
GoToMyPC is the simple-to-use remote access tool that lets you instantly connect with your Mac or PC from any Internet connection
About the cartoonistJohn Klossnerrsquos cartoons and illustrations have appeared in a wide variety of print and electronic publications including The New Yorker Barronrsquos Computerworld Federal Computer Week and The Wall Street Journal Learn more at wwwjklossnercom
ldquoCitrix remains the market share leaderhellip by focusing on simple-to-use solutions and introducing innovative services that deliver on customer needsrdquo
- IDC
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
7
8
Evolution of technology one-liners
ldquoThere are only 10 types of people in the world those that understand binary and those that donrsquotrdquo
ldquoArtificial intelligence usually beats real stupidityrdquo
ldquoTo err is human ndash and to blame it on a computer is even more sordquo
ldquoCAPS LOCK ndash Preventing Login Since 1980rdquo
ldquoIf at first you donrsquot succeed call it version 10rdquo
Tina Sieber wwwmakeuseofcom
9
10
11
IT management joke How many CIOs does it take to screw in a light bulb
bull Define light bulb bull Canrsquot we just move it to the cloud bull You can unscrew a light bulb bullldquoThe change is 90 completerdquo bull None ldquoWersquoll just tell the users darkness is an enhancementrdquo bull Two one to screw in the light bulb and one to watch him to make sure he doesnrsquot say lsquonipplersquo bull It burned out Are you sure you tried rebooting bull I thought cloud computing made maintenance a thing of the past
The Higher Ed CIOwww blogthehigheredciocom
12
13
14
Citrix cloud servicesCitrix cloud-based solutions make it easy for IT professionals to maintain work-life balance and support employees mdash anytime anywhere
GoToAssist enables individuals and organizations to provide secure technical assistance to people and technology to quickly assign and track incidents and manage updates and configuration changes and to easily monitor their IT infrastructure
GoToMeeting makes it easy for individuals and organizations to meet present information and demonstrate products in secure online meetings Its cost-effective subscription model delivers unlimited meetings for one flat fee and includes built-in audio and HD video conferencing
GoToMyPC is the simple-to-use remote access tool that lets you instantly connect with your Mac or PC from any Internet connection
About the cartoonistJohn Klossnerrsquos cartoons and illustrations have appeared in a wide variety of print and electronic publications including The New Yorker Barronrsquos Computerworld Federal Computer Week and The Wall Street Journal Learn more at wwwjklossnercom
ldquoCitrix remains the market share leaderhellip by focusing on simple-to-use solutions and introducing innovative services that deliver on customer needsrdquo
- IDC
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
8
Evolution of technology one-liners
ldquoThere are only 10 types of people in the world those that understand binary and those that donrsquotrdquo
ldquoArtificial intelligence usually beats real stupidityrdquo
ldquoTo err is human ndash and to blame it on a computer is even more sordquo
ldquoCAPS LOCK ndash Preventing Login Since 1980rdquo
ldquoIf at first you donrsquot succeed call it version 10rdquo
Tina Sieber wwwmakeuseofcom
9
10
11
IT management joke How many CIOs does it take to screw in a light bulb
bull Define light bulb bull Canrsquot we just move it to the cloud bull You can unscrew a light bulb bullldquoThe change is 90 completerdquo bull None ldquoWersquoll just tell the users darkness is an enhancementrdquo bull Two one to screw in the light bulb and one to watch him to make sure he doesnrsquot say lsquonipplersquo bull It burned out Are you sure you tried rebooting bull I thought cloud computing made maintenance a thing of the past
The Higher Ed CIOwww blogthehigheredciocom
12
13
14
Citrix cloud servicesCitrix cloud-based solutions make it easy for IT professionals to maintain work-life balance and support employees mdash anytime anywhere
GoToAssist enables individuals and organizations to provide secure technical assistance to people and technology to quickly assign and track incidents and manage updates and configuration changes and to easily monitor their IT infrastructure
GoToMeeting makes it easy for individuals and organizations to meet present information and demonstrate products in secure online meetings Its cost-effective subscription model delivers unlimited meetings for one flat fee and includes built-in audio and HD video conferencing
GoToMyPC is the simple-to-use remote access tool that lets you instantly connect with your Mac or PC from any Internet connection
About the cartoonistJohn Klossnerrsquos cartoons and illustrations have appeared in a wide variety of print and electronic publications including The New Yorker Barronrsquos Computerworld Federal Computer Week and The Wall Street Journal Learn more at wwwjklossnercom
ldquoCitrix remains the market share leaderhellip by focusing on simple-to-use solutions and introducing innovative services that deliver on customer needsrdquo
- IDC
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
Evolution of technology one-liners
ldquoThere are only 10 types of people in the world those that understand binary and those that donrsquotrdquo
ldquoArtificial intelligence usually beats real stupidityrdquo
ldquoTo err is human ndash and to blame it on a computer is even more sordquo
ldquoCAPS LOCK ndash Preventing Login Since 1980rdquo
ldquoIf at first you donrsquot succeed call it version 10rdquo
Tina Sieber wwwmakeuseofcom
9
10
11
IT management joke How many CIOs does it take to screw in a light bulb
bull Define light bulb bull Canrsquot we just move it to the cloud bull You can unscrew a light bulb bullldquoThe change is 90 completerdquo bull None ldquoWersquoll just tell the users darkness is an enhancementrdquo bull Two one to screw in the light bulb and one to watch him to make sure he doesnrsquot say lsquonipplersquo bull It burned out Are you sure you tried rebooting bull I thought cloud computing made maintenance a thing of the past
The Higher Ed CIOwww blogthehigheredciocom
12
13
14
Citrix cloud servicesCitrix cloud-based solutions make it easy for IT professionals to maintain work-life balance and support employees mdash anytime anywhere
GoToAssist enables individuals and organizations to provide secure technical assistance to people and technology to quickly assign and track incidents and manage updates and configuration changes and to easily monitor their IT infrastructure
GoToMeeting makes it easy for individuals and organizations to meet present information and demonstrate products in secure online meetings Its cost-effective subscription model delivers unlimited meetings for one flat fee and includes built-in audio and HD video conferencing
GoToMyPC is the simple-to-use remote access tool that lets you instantly connect with your Mac or PC from any Internet connection
About the cartoonistJohn Klossnerrsquos cartoons and illustrations have appeared in a wide variety of print and electronic publications including The New Yorker Barronrsquos Computerworld Federal Computer Week and The Wall Street Journal Learn more at wwwjklossnercom
ldquoCitrix remains the market share leaderhellip by focusing on simple-to-use solutions and introducing innovative services that deliver on customer needsrdquo
- IDC
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
10
11
IT management joke How many CIOs does it take to screw in a light bulb
bull Define light bulb bull Canrsquot we just move it to the cloud bull You can unscrew a light bulb bullldquoThe change is 90 completerdquo bull None ldquoWersquoll just tell the users darkness is an enhancementrdquo bull Two one to screw in the light bulb and one to watch him to make sure he doesnrsquot say lsquonipplersquo bull It burned out Are you sure you tried rebooting bull I thought cloud computing made maintenance a thing of the past
The Higher Ed CIOwww blogthehigheredciocom
12
13
14
Citrix cloud servicesCitrix cloud-based solutions make it easy for IT professionals to maintain work-life balance and support employees mdash anytime anywhere
GoToAssist enables individuals and organizations to provide secure technical assistance to people and technology to quickly assign and track incidents and manage updates and configuration changes and to easily monitor their IT infrastructure
GoToMeeting makes it easy for individuals and organizations to meet present information and demonstrate products in secure online meetings Its cost-effective subscription model delivers unlimited meetings for one flat fee and includes built-in audio and HD video conferencing
GoToMyPC is the simple-to-use remote access tool that lets you instantly connect with your Mac or PC from any Internet connection
About the cartoonistJohn Klossnerrsquos cartoons and illustrations have appeared in a wide variety of print and electronic publications including The New Yorker Barronrsquos Computerworld Federal Computer Week and The Wall Street Journal Learn more at wwwjklossnercom
ldquoCitrix remains the market share leaderhellip by focusing on simple-to-use solutions and introducing innovative services that deliver on customer needsrdquo
- IDC
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
11
IT management joke How many CIOs does it take to screw in a light bulb
bull Define light bulb bull Canrsquot we just move it to the cloud bull You can unscrew a light bulb bullldquoThe change is 90 completerdquo bull None ldquoWersquoll just tell the users darkness is an enhancementrdquo bull Two one to screw in the light bulb and one to watch him to make sure he doesnrsquot say lsquonipplersquo bull It burned out Are you sure you tried rebooting bull I thought cloud computing made maintenance a thing of the past
The Higher Ed CIOwww blogthehigheredciocom
12
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Citrix cloud servicesCitrix cloud-based solutions make it easy for IT professionals to maintain work-life balance and support employees mdash anytime anywhere
GoToAssist enables individuals and organizations to provide secure technical assistance to people and technology to quickly assign and track incidents and manage updates and configuration changes and to easily monitor their IT infrastructure
GoToMeeting makes it easy for individuals and organizations to meet present information and demonstrate products in secure online meetings Its cost-effective subscription model delivers unlimited meetings for one flat fee and includes built-in audio and HD video conferencing
GoToMyPC is the simple-to-use remote access tool that lets you instantly connect with your Mac or PC from any Internet connection
About the cartoonistJohn Klossnerrsquos cartoons and illustrations have appeared in a wide variety of print and electronic publications including The New Yorker Barronrsquos Computerworld Federal Computer Week and The Wall Street Journal Learn more at wwwjklossnercom
ldquoCitrix remains the market share leaderhellip by focusing on simple-to-use solutions and introducing innovative services that deliver on customer needsrdquo
- IDC
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
12
13
14
Citrix cloud servicesCitrix cloud-based solutions make it easy for IT professionals to maintain work-life balance and support employees mdash anytime anywhere
GoToAssist enables individuals and organizations to provide secure technical assistance to people and technology to quickly assign and track incidents and manage updates and configuration changes and to easily monitor their IT infrastructure
GoToMeeting makes it easy for individuals and organizations to meet present information and demonstrate products in secure online meetings Its cost-effective subscription model delivers unlimited meetings for one flat fee and includes built-in audio and HD video conferencing
GoToMyPC is the simple-to-use remote access tool that lets you instantly connect with your Mac or PC from any Internet connection
About the cartoonistJohn Klossnerrsquos cartoons and illustrations have appeared in a wide variety of print and electronic publications including The New Yorker Barronrsquos Computerworld Federal Computer Week and The Wall Street Journal Learn more at wwwjklossnercom
ldquoCitrix remains the market share leaderhellip by focusing on simple-to-use solutions and introducing innovative services that deliver on customer needsrdquo
- IDC
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
13
14
Citrix cloud servicesCitrix cloud-based solutions make it easy for IT professionals to maintain work-life balance and support employees mdash anytime anywhere
GoToAssist enables individuals and organizations to provide secure technical assistance to people and technology to quickly assign and track incidents and manage updates and configuration changes and to easily monitor their IT infrastructure
GoToMeeting makes it easy for individuals and organizations to meet present information and demonstrate products in secure online meetings Its cost-effective subscription model delivers unlimited meetings for one flat fee and includes built-in audio and HD video conferencing
GoToMyPC is the simple-to-use remote access tool that lets you instantly connect with your Mac or PC from any Internet connection
About the cartoonistJohn Klossnerrsquos cartoons and illustrations have appeared in a wide variety of print and electronic publications including The New Yorker Barronrsquos Computerworld Federal Computer Week and The Wall Street Journal Learn more at wwwjklossnercom
ldquoCitrix remains the market share leaderhellip by focusing on simple-to-use solutions and introducing innovative services that deliver on customer needsrdquo
- IDC
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
14
Citrix cloud servicesCitrix cloud-based solutions make it easy for IT professionals to maintain work-life balance and support employees mdash anytime anywhere
GoToAssist enables individuals and organizations to provide secure technical assistance to people and technology to quickly assign and track incidents and manage updates and configuration changes and to easily monitor their IT infrastructure
GoToMeeting makes it easy for individuals and organizations to meet present information and demonstrate products in secure online meetings Its cost-effective subscription model delivers unlimited meetings for one flat fee and includes built-in audio and HD video conferencing
GoToMyPC is the simple-to-use remote access tool that lets you instantly connect with your Mac or PC from any Internet connection
About the cartoonistJohn Klossnerrsquos cartoons and illustrations have appeared in a wide variety of print and electronic publications including The New Yorker Barronrsquos Computerworld Federal Computer Week and The Wall Street Journal Learn more at wwwjklossnercom
ldquoCitrix remains the market share leaderhellip by focusing on simple-to-use solutions and introducing innovative services that deliver on customer needsrdquo
- IDC
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
15
Additional resourcesnewscitrixonlinecomresources Access upcoming and on-demand webinars case studies and best practices white papers about working from anywhere with anyone
wwwworkshiftingcom Read the blog dedicated to all things related to workshifting (getting work done outside the traditional office) including best practices tips and tricks
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
16
About CitrixCitrix (NASDAQCTXS) is the cloud company that enables mobile workstylesmdashempowering people to work and collaborate from anywhere easily and securely With market-leading solutions for mobility desktop virtualization cloud networking cloud platforms collaboration and data sharing Citrix helps organizations achieve the speed and agility necessary to succeed in a mobile and dynamic world Citrix products are in use at more than 260000 organizations and by over 100 million users globally Learn more at wwwcitrixcom
copy 2013 Citrix Online LLC All rights reserved Citrix GoToAssist GoToMeeting GoToMyPC GoToTraining GoToWebinar Podio and ShareFile are trademarks of Citrix or a subsidiary thereof and are or may be registered in the US Patent and Trademark Office and other countries All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners
107139107PDF citrixonlinecom
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