caregiver (3)

Caring for the CaregiverCaring for the Caregiver

Maureen Frayling Maureen Frayling MNZACMNZAC

Frayling Counselling & Consulting LtdFrayling Counselling & Consulting LtdPh: 4835181 / 02102537808Ph: 4835181 / 02102537808

• The experience of loss and illness in others also touches the helper personally in at least three ways:

1. Working with very ill, dying and grieving people may make us aware (sometimes painfully so) of our own losses.

2. It may remind us of our own feared losses.

3. In working with grief caused by death our own personal death awareness may be heightened

Why it is important to look Why it is important to look after myself while caring after myself while caring

for someone who is illfor someone who is ill

I am important. I must give myself time to do some

off the things I like doing, activities that nurture me

Balance in life:It is essential to develop all facets

of myself

Effectiveness: By taking care of myself I will be

able to work more effectively, be clear headed

Health:

If I do not take care of myself I may soon experience physical, emotional, mental and spiritual burnout

Spin off onto families, personal relationships and friends:

I must have positive energy I must have positive energy left for them; otherwise a left for them; otherwise a negative cycle will developnegative cycle will develop

Self awareness:Self awareness:

Encourages me to develop Encourages me to develop strategies for effectively dealing strategies for effectively dealing with stress signswith stress signs

Self Esteem: A little pampering is great for my self esteem

Reducing Stress

Thou shalt not try to be all things to all people

Thou shalt leave things undone that ought to be done

Thou shalt learn to say no

Thou shalt switch off and do nothing regularly

Thou shalt schedule time for thyself and thy supportive network

Thou shalt not spread thyself too thinly

Thou shalt not feel guilty

Especially thou shalt not be thine own worst enemy but be thy best friend

Thou shalt not be perfect, nor even try to be

Thou shalt be boring, untidy, Thou shalt be boring, untidy, inelegant and unattractive at inelegant and unattractive at timestimes

Signs of Compassion Fatigue

• Inappropriate anger, hostility, or general irritability

• Inability to enjoy life

• Withdrawal from others

• A feeling of being isolated from clients, colleagues, family and friends

• Reluctance to cooperate with co-workers, or to participate on the team

• A sense of being overwhelmed by endless tasks, both at home and on the job

• A rigid approach to problems; inability to be flexible in the face of change or new demands

• A constant sense of pressure

• A sense that one’s work has become routine

Signs of Burnout

• I’m Exhausted

• I’m losing weight

• I’m gaining weight

• I feel depressed

• You’re sure bugging me lately

• No one gives a damn around here

• I’m fed up its hopeless

• Everyone is out to get me

• Gee did I do that again

• It’s those hassles that are getting to me

• What the use?

• So what else is new?

• My body aches

• I’ cant shake off colds

• I put myself down

“You cant wipe the tears off another person’s face without getting your hands wet” (Zulu

proverb)

Suggestions for Building Self Esteem

Write a list of everything you can do

Acknowledge yourself each time you achieve something

Practise allowing praise in-accepting compliments

Buy and wear clothes that make you feel good rather than what you think you ought to have

Practise affirmations

The art of walking upright hereis the art of using both feet. One is for holding on. One is for letting go.

Glenn Colquhoun

The events of care, those moments when skilled and dedicated doctors, nurses, and other health caregivers intensely focus their energies and time on the suffering of very sick or dying people are events within which humanity is achieved and made real

It takes a real storm in the average person's life to make him realize how much worrying he has done

over the squalls.  - Unknown

Don't sweat the small stuff

It's all small stuff

If you can't fight or flee, then flow.

The Arrival of a good clown exercises a more beneficial influence upon the health of a town than the arrival of twenty asses laden with drugs. –

Thomas Sydenham, Seventeenth-Century Physician

Live Well, Love Much, Laugh OftenAnd don’t forget to dance