bad inventions-talk

Bad Inventions

or “I HAVE ANOTHER GREAT IDEA!”

or“Quick, Let’s Buy the Domain Name!”

@lizhenry

Thursday, December 20, 12

Steps to Hell

• Invent something

• Buy the domain name

• ?????

• Complain bitterly when someone profits 10 years later

Thursday, December 20, 12

alt.sex.fetish-startrek

1993: HAHA let’s make a newsgroup for posts about star trek porn and see if anyone takes the bait! Yeah I

bet there’s hundreds if not thousands of Star Trek fetishists! Quick, let’s read some RFCs!

Thursday, December 20, 12

10 years later

Thursday, December 20, 12

Illegal Abortion Barbie

Thursday, December 20, 12

Many years later...

Thursday, December 20, 12

Animal Ear Hats

1994: You know, I bet in 10 or 15 years everyone will be wearing HATS with ANIMAL EARS on them. NO WAY.

WAY! Cat ears. Fox ears. Whatever ears. All kinds of hats! We will make ONE MILLION DOLLARS. In fact it should happen RIGHT NOW. We need a factory! Everyone will wear hats with little EARS. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

Thursday, December 20, 12

GRRRRRRRR

Thursday, December 20, 12

Booby Tshirts

1995: OMG what if we made a tshirt, and it said BOOBIES, but it had pictures of two BLUE FOOTED BOOBIES you know, the bird kind of like a huge seagull but with blue feet

and they do a little dance around their nests when it’s mating time? BOOBY SHIRTS! We will make ONE

MILLION DOLLARS!!!!!!

Thursday, December 20, 12

10 years later...

Thursday, December 20, 12

TandemUnderwear.com

1996 (drunk): HEY!!! I just got the BEST IDEA. What? TANDEM UNDERWEAR. OMG genius! QUICK! BUY THE DOMAIN NAME!!!!! Underwear, with FOUR LEG HOLES. This time we’ll like, find some sort of underwear making FACTORY and it will sell in all porn shops and novelty

stores and the adam and eve catalog We will make ONE MILLION DOLLARS

Thursday, December 20, 12

Years later...

Thursday, December 20, 12

ELBOFF

A cross between those pop up sun shields you put in a car window, and a cup holder, but for the arm rests in airplanes, so when you sit next to some grumpy

businessman asshole who hogs the arm rest and is chewing gum you just whip out your ELB-OFF and pop it up! Hey

presto instant privacy and you claim half the arm rest!

Status: STILL NEEDED!

Thursday, December 20, 12

STATUS:

Desperately neededThursday, December 20, 12

The Catula

Status: STILL NEEDED!

Move a cat without disturbing it

Thursday, December 20, 12

The Sockerchief

Status: Still a bad idea

Socks with the top half detachable with

velcro. Instant handkerchief! Then

put it back. So handy.

Thursday, December 20, 12

The Chia Butt

Status: Come on, someone make this

A chia pet. But, of a

hairy butt!

Thursday, December 20, 12

Dead Mouse Cat Treats

Status: Oppurtunity, on your pillow

Fake mice in a bag!Chewy beef jerky skin, squooshy guts, crunchy fake bone

Thursday, December 20, 12

Cat Eggs

Status: Needs Genetic Engineering of Cats

Thursday, December 20, 12

Lucky Charms Cat Litter

Status: OPPORTUNITY!Thursday, December 20, 12

Cat Food Spray

• Yes, a lot of my inventions are about cats

• Dump cat food in bowl

• Cat does not finish it

• Cat wants fresh cat food from bag

• Solution: Cat Food smelling spray!

• ONE MILLION DOLLARS, PEOPLE!

Thursday, December 20, 12

Conductive Paint Toilet Seats

Thursday, December 20, 12

Beer Hat Neti Pot

Status: STILL NEEDED!Thursday, December 20, 12

MORAL

• Take my ideas... PLEASE

• Enjoy your $1,000,000 !

Thursday, December 20, 12