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APRIL 2014
Easter games
and crafts
Sibling
rivalry
Your Free local Parenting magazine
MuM’s and
multiples
Contents
Special Features
22 27
In the life of a step mum Easter games
Articles
How much are your kids worth? How children can affect your health Talking of twins Your new addition My 2014 money challenge
7
8
12 18 24
Regulars
Letter from the Editor Ask a professional - questions from readers Monthly Recipe - French toast rollups Your Story - My escape from Egypt Mum’s in the City - with Alexis Make a change Kid’s fun - Easter craft Community Noticeboard Business Directory
5 10
11
14
16 17 26 28 29
April 2014
Cover image from
Grapevine photography
5
info@smallstepsparenting.com
www.smallstepsparenting.com
www.facebook.com/smallstepsparenting
Julie-Anne England
Dear Reader,
We are now well into the year now and our seasons
are about to change with a coolness in the air. With
it comes Easter, one of my favourite times of the
year and a definite favourite of most kids.
This month we have some Easter crafts and games,
you can check up on how I’m doing with my 2014
money challenge and you have one last chance to
enter your kids in our cover star competition. Final-
ists will be announced in our next issue.
We are also very excited to announce that we are a
finalist in the Small Business Champion Awards for
Australia! We want to thank all our readers for your
support and your feedback about our magazine.
Plus we have some great giveaways too! We have a family pass for both
Yo Gabba Gabba live and Peppa Pig live to giveaway (worth around $300
each), an ipod nano plus some Small Steps subscriptions. Find more in-
formation on page 21. Get your entries in quickly so you don’t miss out!
Letter from the Editor
6
Combos Slides Obstacle Castles Slushie Machines
Phone: (02) 4571 1240 or 0402 100 681
Email: tomcatjim1@bigpond.com
Birthdays/Corporate Events/Preschools/Fetes/Christmas/New Years
Learning how a book works is an important part of learning to read.
Babies feel safe when they are being held and they love to hear the
sounds of words. They are exploring the book when they touch,
smell and even chew the book. Later, they will hold the book the
right way up, turn the pages and start making sounds when they see a picture in a
familiar story.
Being able to predict is an important skill in learning to read.
When we read a story to children over and over again they learn how
this story works. When they recognise they have heard this story
before they will predict the words and the action that will come next.
Being able to predict is an important skill to develop.
‘Pretend reading’ is real reading.
Reading will help your child recognise a story has characters, a be-
ginning, an end and some action in the middle. When you let your
child make up a story to go with the pictures in the book, you are
letting your child practise reading the words and pictures properly
later.
Written by Simone Yuen, children’s book author, www.rainbowballs.com.au
Did you know…?
How much are your kids worth? Having children are often the purpose of a
married couples life. Children are central to
having a family but often the question cou-
ples face before they have a family is, how
many children can we afford. Assuming
having them isn't going to be an issue.
AMP did a comprehensive report on the
costs of having children in 2012. What the
Report found was that the cost of a child
can be broadly divided between two cate-
gories: 'household' costs (such as food,
transport, clothing, health, etc) and
'education' costs.
Household costs are largely staple costs. In
other words they are largely essential costs
to the family having a child and may vary
depending on the family budget and the
number of members of the family. Whereas
education costs can be discretionary be-
yond a minimum cost. The parents can
chose the type of education they chose for
their children, such as in the early years
child care and pre-school care, through
to private verses public education during
primary and secondary school, and
then university costs.
For low to middle income families the cost
of raising a child, or children, takes up a
larger percentage of their household in-
come than for higher income families. The
question often comes down to whether it is
a two income or single income family as to
what they can afford for their children. The
estimated costs for a couple to raise two
children to age 18 ranged from $473,000
for a low income family, to $812,000 for a
middle income family and $1.1 million for
a high income family. The biggest expense,
not surprisingly, was education costs which
are also likely to rise the most in future
years. So those costs are likely to be greater
in today's dollars when the expense is actu-
ally incurred.
So how can a couple prepare themselves
for the expense of having a family? The
best way to prepare for the future education
costs that you chose for your children is to
have a budget. There are software pro-
grams available that can help you with this
task. These programs allow you to chose
the type of education that you plan for your
children, the period of that education and
when the cost will be incurred. You then
need to have a financial plan to meet that
expense. That plan will be based on your
capacity to generate excess income to your
current expenditure and your
ability to save for the future.
There is no secret that the
more you put away now, the
easier it will be later to meet
those expenses.
Written by Michael Voss, our
certified financial planner.
If you have any questions on the above
please contact Michael at
michael.voss@arrowfa.com.au.
Food clothing School supplies Education
7
How children can affect your health
8
The influence that a child has on your health
may commence as early as conception!
Morning sickness, cravings, discomfort with
evolving shape, prenatal medical condi-
tions…not to mention fatigue all play a vital
role in a couple’s ability to maintain status
quo with their health and fitness. Then…
boom! Bub has arrived and before you know
it, time passes and whilst poor lifestyle habits
may have crept in, a parent’s focus is con-
sumed by making sure baby’s needs are be-
ing met – you may find yourself in disbelief
that this new little person’s presence has
sapped you of your energy and time to look
after yourself!
Alternatively, perhaps you have breezed
through your pregnancy and continue to ex-
pand the family and then find the combina-
tion of juggling two or more children and
daily life / work commitments has made it
increasingly difficult to split your time effec-
tively to include yourself! The good news is
you are not alone and more importantly there
are ways to be both Super-Mum (or Dad!) in
the field of raising a brood of beautiful chil-
dren and be the best role model of health and
lifestyle for your future generations.
Let’s talk about creating energy…
One of the most common threads of parental
concern is their own nutrition and food in-
take. “I know it’s wrong but I simply don’t
have the time to eat breakfast.” “I make sure
the kids are eating, but I get so busy that I
skip lunch.” “I am so tired in the evening,
that I just throw together something quick for
kids and get them to bed …I might eat later.”
By starving our body of food, we are confus-
ing it, so if we are sporadic in our eating pat-
terns, our metabolism slows down..in this
case it means that when we DO eat, rather
9
than burning our in-take, it will store the
food as fat in our body as it is unsure when
the next feed may be coming . Then if we
are leading an in-active lifestyle, the stored
fat is not burned and in time transforms us
into being overweight or obese. Gasp! “Oh
no!” I hear you say! Ah ha! The exciting
fact is: food is a necessity, not only for
nutritional values to keep us well but it cre-
ates energy. The key is to choose well, eat
little – often and as we tell our kids….chew
your food!
By eating small portions of good food regu-
larly during the day, your metabolism will
start to kick in as it will recognise the pat-
tern feeling “secure” to start burning the
food as it will know more food will come in
a few hours. Chew your food at least 10
times per mouthful – this action will not
only aid digestion, but the thermogenic af-
fect helps you burn calories while you are
eating!! Whilst doing so, remember your off
-spring will model their future behaviour
from what you demonstrate to them today.
So make sure you are sitting, eating with
them and not seen skipping meals. If you
are planning to go out, not only prepare
their food – pack some in for you too!
If breakfast is your challenge? Instead of
having traditional cereal or toast, perhaps
replace this with a pre-prepared breakfast
smoothie to drink on the run or have a cup
of natural yoghurt sprinkled with muesli or
simply eat a handful of mixed raw nuts and
berries and then at mid-morning eat some-
thing a little more substantial. Having the
energy to be the best parent you can be is
important so the crucial point is by taking
food in the morning, you are sending a mes-
sage to your metabolism to kick in “you
have had a rest overnight, but now it’s ok to
start burning as to create the energy I need
for the day ”.
With regulating your feeds, the next thing is
to consider what and how much you are
eating. Instead of eating the kid’s leftovers
– make sure you are preparing your serve
too! Ensure you are eating a serve of lean
protein with each feed, yes – 5 serves of
protein a day! Additionally ensure you are
eating whole grains (wholemeal bread,
brown rice, oats, quinoa) and 5 serves of
veggies/day. Protein and whole grains will
keep you feeling fuller for longer, so your
prior need to snack in between feeds will
disappear!
Learn more about this topic in the second
part of this article in next month’s maga-
zine!
This article has been written by Kirsten
Mitchell, our talented personal trainer.
Learn more about Kirsten on our website in
the “About Us” section or send us an email
to get in touch with her or have her answer
a question.
Ask a Professional...
QUESTION: If I am breastfeeding my baby, are there certain foods that I should or shouldn’t
eat?
King Equestrian Academy is a unique
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Students are shown the value of
good horsemanship and given correct
schooling from the beginning of their horse
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our pupils and trainers that are competing
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Riding School KING EQUESTRIAN ACADEMY
It is important to eat well at any stage of life but particularly when you are breastfeeding.
Selecting foods such as a variety of fruits, vegetables, lean meat, fish, chicken, dairy ( low fat
milk, cheese, yoghurt) eggs and wholegrain cereals and breads will ensure that you have op-
timal nutrition to enable you to feed your baby without getting deprived of nutrients yourself.
You can eat basically any foods however if you feel that your baby has reacted to something
that you have eaten, it would be wise to avoid that particular food. A friend of mine noticed
that her baby was very unsettled after she ate oranges, so she tried not to eat these during this
time. It is also good to drink plenty of water to make sure you stay hydrated. Alcohol and
caffeine drinks such as coffee can go through into your breastmilk so it is wise to limit these.
Overall, enjoy your food and your baby, babies grow up so quickly and every season of their
lives is to be cherished.
This answer has been supplied by Ruth Bosanquet who is our qualified midwife. Learn more
about Ruth on our "About Us" page on our website.
1. Cut the crusts off 8-10 pieces of fresh bread.
2. Beat the eggs together with the milk until
slightly frothy.
3. Use a rolling pin to flatten out the bread
pieces.
4. Put a line of golden syrup down one side of
the bread.
5. Carefully roll up the bread from the syrup
end.
6. Dip the rolled bread into the egg mixture and
place onto a hot frypan. Cook until golden,
turning every few minutes to cook all sides.
7. Once cooked, sprinkle with cinnamon sugar
and serve.
11
Monthly Recipe
French Toast Rollups
Ingredients: A loaf of bread
2 eggs
A tablespoon of milk
Golden syrup
Cinnamon sugar
TIP: Use toothpicks to hold the bread in its rolled shape until cooked.
Remove toothpicks before serving.
twins Talking of twins
What was your first thought when you
found out you were having twins?
My first thought was "Oh my god!" Then I
immediately thought "I knew I would have
twins", (I have always said that I was going
to have twins)
What was your husband's reaction?
He was shocked and he cried.
Did you want to find out the sex of the
babies during your pregnancy?
Yes we found out first chance we
could get! When we found out we
were having two girls we were so
excited!
While in utero could you tell
which baby was which?
Yes there was the quieter one on
the left bottom corner and the
louder one on the right taking up
most of the space! Turned out Indi
IS the quiet one and ISLA is the
louder one.
How did you go with physically
carrying two babies?
I did allot of things to help with
that, I did pre natal yoga throughout
the whole pregnancy, I would go
for a beach walk everyday, I used
positive affirmations and also did a
calm birthing course.
All these things helped me physi-
cally be able to keep working until I
was 36 weeks pregnant, and helped
me remain positive about my preg-
nancy and labour.
Taking home a new baby is often
daunting for first time mums.
How did you fair going home from the
hospital for the first time with two of
them? I had my mum nearby so I wasn't worried,
although I did wonder how I would breast
feed two at the same time! But thankfully
my good friend had bought me a twin feed-
ing pillow which helped.
Are you a routine mum or an unstruc-
tured go-with-the flow type person?
I'm so go with the flow, I wouldn't even
12
We speak face to face with Karina—mum of twins
know how to structure anything with my
two! I have always wondered how some
women do it!
Are your twins very alike?
No they are like chalk and cheese, even
their hair is completely different, one with
dark curly hair and the other with straighter
blond hair!
Most annoying comments you have re-
ceived from people either during your
pregnancy or since you had the girls. I started to get really annoyed at people
being negative about the fact that I had
two! Any twin mum will tell you that if
they had a dollar for every time they heard
the phrase "double trouble", although now I
just think that people are just trying to be
funny and it doesn't bother me anymore.
And also people assuming that I had a
dreadful pregnancy and labour, and then
they are really shocked that my pregnancy
and labour was awesome!
The thing/s about motherhood that most
surprised you. The lack of time to yourself
really shocked me.
What you loved/hated about being preg-
nant.
HATED vomiting for 2 months, LOVED
everything else.
The hardest thing about being a mum of
twins.
Some days you never get a break, if one
sleeps at a different time to the other, if
they are both being really whingy or if one
or both are sick, or if one decides to wake
the other one when it has taken me ages to
get her to sleep.
If you could do it over again is there any-
thing you change. I would have taken
more control over my labour, one midwife
basically wanted me to lie in the bed all
day so she could monitor the girls, and I
should have spoken up because all I wanted
to do was to move around and help the girls
move down, I just kept saying I needed to
go to the bathroom and other things like
that, but If I did it again I would just say
what I wanted and tell that nurse to leave. It
turned out good though as that midwife left
at lunch time and a wonderful midwife
started from then on and she was awesome!
13
Ph: 0408660673 www.facebook.com/emmajeangracedesigns
Canvas 30x40cm $60 Wooden 60x30cm $80 or 80x30cm $90
14
Your Story
Robin’s Story - My escape from Egypt
After months and months of planning, my
friend and I landed in Cairo, Egypt. As
the plane landed I was filled with excite-
ment as to the adventures we would have
in this new place.
This trip was finally being made a reality
after long nights spent planning, booking
accommodation, transportation and or-
ganising tours.
As we weaved through people in the air-
port and made it through airport security
we found ourselves in the parking lot. I
looked around, trying to take in what I
could of this strange new country. Within
moments men were yelling at us in Ara-
bic and trying to push us into their cars. A
nice young man who spoke English came
over to us and organised a taxi. He spoke
to the taxi driver and instructed him to
take care of us and get us safely to the
hotel we had booked for that night.
The driver steered us through traffic at a
high speed, dodging traffic and weaving
in and out of lanes. These lanes were ac-
cording to the amount of cars on the road
and not dictated by the markings on the
road.
I gave a huge sigh of relief as we arrived
safely at our hotel. We retrieved our bags
and went to the hotel lobby to check in.
To our dismay the hotel had a problem
with our booking. They were able to ac-
commodate us that night but then we
would need to find alternate accommoda-
tion the next day. We went to our room
and started to discuss what we would do
tomorrow. My friend Lina told me that
she knew a guy in Egypt and that she
would call him to ask him for help. His
name was Alfred. After a brief talk on the
phone, he said that he would come pick
us up and take us out for the evening. He
also said he had a place for us to stay.
We spent a little while doing our hair and
put on some makeup while we waited for
him to pick us up. At 5pm Alfred arrived
at our hotel. He seemed like a really sweet
guy and he took us out for dinner, fol-
lowed by a movie. Later that night he
took us dancing at a small club in the cen-
tre of Cairo. I had a really good time,
talking to the other people at the club and
dancing. Alfred seems to take a real liking
to me and by the end of the night I was
his only focus.
After a few hours of dancing, Lina and I
begged to go home for a sleep. Alfred
took us to this apartment block and gave
us the key to a two bedroom apartment on
the 6th level. It was quite a neat little
place and Lina and I were pleased at the
price. Now we didn’t have to worry about
finding another hotel. Alfred kissed me as
he left.
The next morning we awoke to find that
Alfred had left us breakfast. We ate hun-
grily and then spent the day out and about
seeing the pyramids, the museums and the
amazing shops. We even bought an art-
work on papyrus.
Later that day after Alfred finished work
he met us again at our apartment building.
We agreed on dancing again that night.
Alfred was showering me with attention
and had started to mention us being to-
gether. Later that night I noticed Alfred
was acting strange. He began to take of-
fence at me talking to any other man in
the place. I sat down to have a drink with
a few other people and after a while Al-
fred sent Lina over to me with a message
“Get up and dance with me”. I politely
declined his offer and said I wanted to
finish my drink. He sent her back with
another message “Get up and dance
NOW!”
I looked at him in the eye across the
dance floor and mouthed “NO”. I could-
n’t believe he would be so rude. I am not
the kind of person who takes demands.
For the rest of the night he ignored me
which suited me fine. At the end of the
night Alfred and Lina’s date, Mohammed
drove us back to the apartment.
When we got inside Alfred let loose at
me. He began to scream at me and push
me around. He threw me against the wall.
He said that I needed to do as I was told. I
told him that I didn’t belong to him and
that I would do as I pleased.
He tried to make me have intercourse
with him but I fought him with all my
might. He said I did belong to him and
that we would be together. He just kept
getting angrier and angrier. I told him that
we would call the police. He just laughed
and said that in this country the man is
always right and the woman must do as
she is told. We turned to Mohammed and
pleaded with him to help but he said that
he is required to respect his elders and as
Alfred was older he couldn’t go against
him. By this time I was quite distraught.
Alfred wouldn’t let us leave and had
locked us in the apartment. I decided I
needed to do something fast. I took a
breath and willed myself to stop crying. I
looked at Alfred and lowered my voice
and told him I was sorry for the way I had
acted. I told him he was right, that I
should have obeyed and that I was jet-
lagged but that it was no excuse. I said
everything that he wanted to hear. I even
told him we would be together.
With that Alfred settled right down. He
told me that he forgave me and that he
wouldn’t accept behaviour like that again.
I agreed. I told him that I just needed
some sleep and then we could discuss
everything the next day. He came over
and hugged me and I hugged him back
feeling repulsed by his skin against mine.
I asked him quietly if he could just let me
get some sleep.
He agreed and turned to leave the apart-
ment telling me he would be back in the
morning and that I was to stay there until
he returned. As soon as he was gone Lina
and I packed up all our things and left,
hopping on a bus out of Cairo to get
away.
I never saw him again and although it was
a harrowing experience to get through I
want to acknowledge that I loved the city
of Cairo and its beautiful history, this is
just a story I can tell of how I came too
close to not leaving it.
The names of individuals in this story
have been changed for their protection.
15
16
The Bunny Wars
If you’re like me, the Easter period (aside
from its religious significance) is the be-
ginning of the end for a tantrum-free su-
permarket trip, never mind the expanding
waistlines around the country.
It’s this time of year when chocolate
moulded bunny rabbits spread throughout
the supermarkets from aisle 3 to the check-
outs, just to make mum (or dads) shopping
expedition - that little bit more ‘exciting’.
It’s probably about the point when you
finally reach the checkout when your bun-
dle of joy raises the ‘I want or need’ hand
and becomes hypnotized by shiny alumin-
ium foil bursting with colours hiding, a not
so subtle, bunny. Need I say more?
If you have been in this situation with a
child in the age bracket of 1 through to 5,
who isn’t ready to understand when you
say the word NO, you would have seen
this show before or more than once.
Tantrums, the whole episode featuring:
shouting, throwing arms in the air, lying
on the supermarket floor, running away,
followed by kicking and let’s not forget
the finale – when your child’s fangs sink
their way through the colourful foil and
into the trophy – the bunny.
It’s not a pretty sight for onlookers, shop
assistants and it’s especially not a yoga
session for mum or dad.
But, to all of this chocolate craziness, there
are many positives a holiday break like
Easter. It gives mums a chance to just ‘be’.
As a mother of two delicious boys under 4
and working fulltime, the thought of a few
extra days off, which doesn’t seep away at
annual leave or my attendance expectation
is cause for celebration. And with the up-
coming Easter break I couldn’t be more
thrilled about hanging up my rat-race heels
and slipping on my hideous ‘never EVER
wear in public’ house shoes.
So, how can mums you just ‘be’? You can
do this in a number of ways:
be with your children and husband at
home not rushing
be yourself outside of the office
be by the pool sipping on whatever con-
coction makes you say ‘ahhhh, this is
just so relaxing’
or just be eating pizza on a Friday night
knowing that on Monday morning at
Change Change Make a
It’s been a pretty crazy month for me.
We sold our house, bought some land,
had some good news, heard some bad
and had our very first hospital visit with
our baby daughter. You know it wasn’t a
major thing… (some glue on her fore-
head, a nice big dressing and an iceblock
was all it took to fix her) but it got me
thinking. I realised I am a mum who
doesn’t do so well when my children are
hurt. I felt so powerless! But after the
initial shock I realised that it wasn’t so
bad and that there are so many parents
out there who have to deal with so much
worse than I can even think of.
So on that note I just want to encourage
you to reach out if you know someone
with a sick child and let them know you
are there for them, or how about drop-
ping off some toys at the kids hospital or
making a meal for a family. Every tiny
thing you do makes a big difference!
If it was you, what would be something
that would make a change in your life?
Do you have something you are doing to
make a change in your community? We
would love to hear about it. Maybe you
would even like to share it with our
readers. Email us at
info@smallstepsparenting.com
17
5.45am you can slam dunk the alarm
clock and rollover (until such time
about 60 seconds later, your 2 year-
old emerges onto the bed shouting
‘WAKE UP!!!!’) knowing you can
enjoy being seduced by that ‘close
your eyes feeling’ without the need
to launch out of bed – pure bliss in
my books.
Think about it, how long has it been
since you have taken time out to just
‘be’? Days, months, years? Let’s hope
not! It’s so important for mums to take a
step back to repair and rejuvenate in
amongst all the car drop offs, working,
cooking, ironing, yelling, dressing,
breakfast making, dinner making, nappy
changing, bed sheet changing,
toothbrushing, sweeping, mopping , you
get the gist. So, as the spare days up
your sleeve come closer, think about
how you can just be, without rushing,
planning, scheduling and cancel any-
thing that may resemble that ‘rat-race
feeling’ to help you rejuvenate and re-
pair, because if you don’t, you may not
get the chance to slam dunk that alarm
clock (or iPhone) again for quite a while
which will leave you back at square one
on the next Monday morning.
Happy
Easter!
18
Sibling rivalry and your new addition to the family
Welcoming another baby to your family
is always exciting but often the thought of
introducing the new addition to your tod-
dler or young child can be one sprinkled
with some trepidation! No one can be
sure how the sibling will respond to the
new arrival. Parents have told me the one
who became the ‘middle child’ rather
than the youngest was the one who had a
few issues adapting to the new arrival. Of
course many families don’t have any
problems at all just as some families have
only minor and temporary hiccups as sib-
lings adapt.
Regardless of how it works (and hope-
fully it goes well), being prepared is a
good idea.
Depending on the age of the child or chil-
dren awaiting the new arrival, talking
about the baby beforehand and including
them in all the preparations gives them
the opportunity to engage and ask ques-
tions while giving you the opportunity to
watch and respond to any worries or con-
cerns you notice. Hopefully, parental
leave enables your partner to be home in
the early weeks to help with the other
child or children. Your child may become
very attached or clingy to your partner.
Your child may react to your separation
from him in hospital with the baby and
become more dependent on the parent
who remains close by.
The new baby’s sibling may feel unsure
of where they fit into your affections and
feel displaced with the new arrival. While
your child may not be able to articulate
his anxieties or concerns, he might dis-
play his feelings with regressive behav-
iour or characteristics you have not previ-
ously seen. Previously toilet trained tod-
dlers may want nappies again, wet the
bed, show aggression to the baby or you,
become more wakeful at night and more
demanding of your attention especially
when you are breastfeeding or tending to
the baby’s needs.
I always think it’s worthwhile telling a
child who can understand, how lucky the
new baby is to have such a wonderful big
brother or sister waiting to meet them and
live with them. Worded this way, the
older child feels included without the
pressure to be the ‘big’ boy or girl when
perhaps they are not quite ready to under-
stand they are no longer the only ‘baby’
in the house. Involving him with caring
for the baby with little jobs can make him
feel important as well as distracting him
when needed regardless of whether you
are breastfeeding or bottle feeding the
baby.
Having a gift in the bassinette “from the
baby” ready for their sibling when he
comes to the hospital is considered a great
success. It could be something the child
has particularly wanted or something that
can be played with you one-handed while
you feed the baby.
As I write this I’m watching a three year
old carrying her doll in a doll capsule next
to her mother who’s carrying her new
little sister in a baby capsule. Serendipi-
tous timing – it really works!
If it isn’t possible to have your partner at
home, having a family member or help
from someone your youngster knows well
can certainly help in the early weeks as
you all adapt to the changes a new baby
brings to the family.
No doubt friends will have lots of hints
and tips about what they did to help sib-
lings adapt to their new baby. I was lucky
that our daughter was at an age where she
was more interested in the toys the baby
was given rather than in her brother. Once
I was left on my own I had to be organ-
ised when I breastfed, not because Claire
was tricky, but because she chose feeding
times to be her most active in other
rooms. I always made sure the knives
were up high, the bathroom door was
shut, the potty was near the TV and the
back door to the garden was shut.
I fell in love with John Waters as I
shamelessly distracted her with Play-
school and then Sesame Street each morn-
ing and afternoon. I tucked books and
snacks in behind the cushions on the
couch and read to, fed and watched TV
with her as I breastfed her brother.
Claire wasn’t particularly interested in
what I was doing when I fed but I have
watched mothers handle their older child
or children very well as they let them
watch the baby being breastfeed, and look
at or touch their breasts.
Continued next page...
19
Overwhelmed as a new parent? Want to know what to expect?
Understanding what to expect after the birth of your baby will
help you enormously as you adjust to your new role as a mother. Midwife and International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, Lynne-McKensey Hall takes the old wives’ tales and shows them the door with her gentle, practical, science-based approach to breastfeeding and caring for your baby. From the importance of skin to skin contact at birth to getting everyone settled into bed for a good night’s sleep, this is one of many “must have” books by Lynne to get you through your baby’s arrival and those early parenting days. Purchase books separately or as a set and choose from topics such as:
Order at www.betterbeginnings.com.au
Ph: 0419 245 966 or email lynne@betterbeginnings.com.au
Before Baby arrives Baby’s arrival Breastfeeding Issues
and the Unexpected Expressing Returning to Work
Partners Grandparents and Carers Multiple, Pre-term,
Adoptive and Surrogate Babies and Relactating
Last chance to be our cover star..
Normalising what you are doing and in-
volving the child in the breastfeeding is
often enough to satisfy their curiosity.
Some may want to breastfeed again,
which may only last a short time. If you
are relaxed about this, always let the baby
feed first or feed from the fuller side if the
sibling wants to feed at the same time. I
have known mothers who have a lot of
milk let the older child breastfeed to help
to manage their generous milk supply,
which can work very well.
Of course some siblings do react badly to
the new arrival. I worked with a mother
whose two and a half year old daughter
was very resentful and would bite and hit
the baby intentionally. The mother could
never leave the baby alone with its sib-
ling.
The baby was not long home from the
hospital when her partner had to travel
leaving her alone with the two children.
She was awaiting the arrival of family
from overseas to help with the older sib-
ling. So great was her disquiet about her
daughter’s behaviour that she intended to
seek professional help if family support
and a little more time didn’t make a dif-
ference. Seeking help from a child psy-
chologist is not an admission of defeat but
a practical way of resolving issues of con-
cern before they become problematic.
There is no one-fix solution that will help
you if the older sibling doesn’t take well
to the new baby. Listen to hints and tips
from family and friends and keep your
mind open about the changes you are all
experiencing. Patience, reassurance and
one-on-one time with your toddler or
young child whenever possible, can ease
the transition.
I do recommend The Science of Parenting
(DK Publishing, 2008) by child psycho-
therapist Dr Margot Sunderland. Sunder-
land explains how the brain develops in
babies through to school age children.
Understanding the behaviour of your
toddler or very young child will give you
some insight into what they are capable of
managing and understanding. In the case
of a new baby, this can be very helpful for
you in helping him adapt to the arrival of
his sibling.
Good Luck!
Written by Lynne-McKensey Hall RN,
RM, MN(Ed), IBCLC
Author of the Breastfeeding & Baby Mat-
ters series, available at
www.betterbeginnings.com.au and
Berkelouw Bookstores
20
Enter to see your child on the
cover plus win a free photo shoot
with Big Fish Photography
To enter, simply email a photo of your child to
info@smallstepsparenting.com
Entries must be received by 15th April 2014.
In the life of a step mum When you bring home your baby home from
the hospital you learn about parenting as the
time goes by. You learn the baby's different
cries, what they like and dislike, you learn
how to discipline them effectively and you
love them more and more each day. But
what about when you suddenly fall into be-
coming a parent of older children? Their
habits are already set, you may not know
what to talk to them about and you may not
know how to respond to them. Being a step-
parent is a difficult and challenging role,
however, with the right attitude, patience
and dedication, being a step parent can be
extremely rewarding too. As a 29 year old
woman I was convinced I would never meet
"the one", fall in love, or ever have children.
Three months later I met the man of my
dreams, we got engaged and I moved in with
him and his two boys, 13 and 18. Thanks to
the wonderful advice of my mum, who is a
step mum to my half siblings, and some of
my own discoveries along the way I have
learned some essential life lessons in build-
ing relationships with my step-sons.
1) Be patient, when moving in to a new en-
vironment the kids may feel you are not only
taking the place of their other parent, but
also their home. Don't try to change things
the minute you walk in. Give them their
space and show them you respect it too. This
may be as simple as promising not to go into
their room without their permission.
2) Pick your battles - It is important to de-
cide when its better to let something go and
when it is important to stand up to the chil-
dren - if you start picking on the kids for the
little things like leaving a dirty dish on the
table, it will cause not only the kids to lose
respect for you but your partner might too.
3) NEVER talk about
your partners ex nega-
tively in front of the
kids, no matter how bad
they might be, the kids
will generally feel obli-
gated to stand up for
them. This will cause
friction between you. If
appropriate you may
even want to help the
kids make a present for
their other parent for
Christmas or birthdays,
this will help the kids
know that you are not
wanting to come be-
tween them and their
other parent.
4) Get to know them - by spending time with
them and gradually building up conversa-
tions you will be able to relate to the kids
more easily. It will take time and effort but it
will be worth it in the end.
5) Do nice things for the kids - cook their
22
23
favourite meal, buy them a small treat at the
shop or take them out for a fun activity they
will enjoy - This will show them that you are
not only interested in their parent (your part-
ner) but also them, you are potentially set-
ting up a wonderful relationship with your
step-children that may last the next 50 years!
6) Use bribery sparingly!! If you try to bribe
them every time you need them to do some-
thing it will lead to a spirit of distrust. They
will assume you've done something nice for
them simply because you want something
from them.
7) Support your partner in their decisions -
beware the temptation of being the "cool
parent". The kids don't need you to be their
friend, they need you to be a stable and sup-
portive adult in their life.
8) Have fun with them - try to create happy,
fun memories for you to look back on in the
years to come. Seeing them enjoy them-
selves will bring you enjoyment too.
In the last 9 months I have lived with my
fiance and step-sons my relationships with
my boys has truly blossomed. We went from
saying hi and asking about each others day
to sitting in the loungeroom with each other
sharing cupcakes and talking about bullies at
school. On a weekend I often find the
youngest boy hovering around my bedroom
door until I notice him and ask him to join
me for a movie night. I am really happy that
the boys trust me to tell me things they have-
n't told anyone else. Putting in the effort and
having the patience my mum said I would
need has truly paid off...I can now look for-
ward to a life with my soon-to-be husband
and my two boys whom I am growing to
love more and more everyday.
Written by Alison, a soon-to-be step mum.
24
My 2014
Two months into my 2014 Money Chal-
lenge and I can say that I’m feeling quite
frustrated! I feel like every time I try really
hard to be good with my money, something
comes up to mess it all up.
I have to say though that I am more deter-
mined than ever to continue to aim for my
goal (even though I’m almost sure I won’t
reach my initial goal of $10,000).
I guess the whole reason for this challenge
was not even to have the $10,000 at the end
of the year but just to build an awareness in
myself to save where I could for the benefit
of my family.
Since I changed my grocery shopping to
Aldi and focused on spending around $7
per meal I have been able to consistently
keep my weekly bill below $150 which is a
massive saving for me (unless of course my
husband goes shopping for me and the
Coke is on special :) ).
Knowing that my goal of a grocery bill
being under $150 is achievable I am mov-
ing on to other ways to save money.
Initially my savings goal was specifically
to add to our savings for a deposit on a
home. After some looking at open homes
we decided that with the amount of money
we can borrow we will not be able to have
our dream home anytime soon, so we went
a different route - we bought a large block
of land and are planning to live on it in a
mobile home while we save to build the
home we have always wanted. I don’t think
I have ever been this excited about a prop-
erty. It is far from glamorous but it has a lot
of potential and even better, loads of space.
I believe the kids are going to thrive here.
So thus brings me to our soon-to-be new
living arrangements.
We now have a mobile home sitting on our
land but it needs a bit of work. My aim is
to renovate it so that it is comfortable and
inviting yet doesn’t detract from our sav-
ings. Over the next few issues I will show
you how I create our temporary home with
a very limited budget. You will also be able
to follow along as I post my findings and
renovation onto Pinterest.
On a different topic I noticed that our sav-
ings always seem to go south during
March. I know now that is because there
are two family birthdays, my wedding an-
niversary, a yearly conference I attend as
well as the car registration and insurance
all fall in this one month. Needless to say I
feel quite defeated in my savings attempt
after this month but I need to get back on
the horse!
With the birthdays I have begun to save a
lot when it comes to gifts by simply doing
the following:
Making the gifts where it is appropriate
- my sister loves my homemade coconut
and lime body scrub and begs for it at
every present giving occasion (you can
find it on the Small Steps blog on our
website), I also love to sew, so creating
gifts from fabric is not only fun but
makes the gifts really personal. Even if
you are not very creative a simple photo
book made online for the grandparents
Money Challenge
makes a gorgeous keepsake that they
will love.
Planning ahead - even if you are buying
gifts like iPods, cameras etc. you can
save money by purchasing them online
in advance so that they arrive on time.
Buying online from sites such as eBay
can save you a great deal of money with-
out compromising on quality.
Putting aside a small amount of money
each week for a “gift fund”. $20 every
week probably will go unnoticed but
will then be available when you need it
for a gift without dragging your bank
account balance down in one go.
As adults, there are so few things we
actually need so gift giving can be un-
necessary. It is really the thought that
counts so maybe you can have some
other arrangement for these special
times. For example my best friend and I
plan a nice dinner out together or a night
in a hotel to have some special girls
time. We go halves and buy the hotel on
one of those discount sites so it doesn’t
cost us much but it is a great way to
spend some time away and put some
time into your friendship.
Sentimental gifts - these gifts cost next
to nothing but depending on the recipi-
ent may mean more to them than any-
thing they have ever been given. This
my be a letter book of letters you have
written to them over the years all bound
together into a book, a photo of a mean-
ingful memory in a frame or a old recipe
that has been passed down through the
generations printed onto a tea towel.
If you know of a gift that someone wants
in advance keep your eye out for sales.
You may find that an item may be a lot
cheaper during the end of year sales or
the end of financial year sales.
Write out a gift budget for the year and
stick to it.
Join up with other family members to
buy a joint gift. This may allow you to
buy something the recipient really wants
but is out of your price range rather than
purchasing something in your price
range that you aren’t sure they really
want.
Use your imagination and think about your
gift fiving in advance to save yourself
money but also give a gift that will be spe-
cial for years to come.
Next month I will let you follow along as I
begin to create a temporary home for my
family that combines comfort and style for a
very low cost.
Julie-Anne England
25
Kids Fun!
26
Dyed easter eggs Hard boil 6-12 eggs by placing them in cold water in a
small saucepan. Ensure the eggs are completely sub-
merged. Place on a high heat and time the eggs for 8
minutes from boiling point. Turn off heat. Carefully
strain away the hot water and replace with cold water.
Once the eggs are completely cooled, mix white vine-
gar with a few drops of food colouring - the more col-
ouring, the deeper the colour on the eggs will be. Dip
the eggs in the coloured vinegar and turn to coat. Re-
move and set to dry on a metal rack.
Display on your easter table at lunch time for a festive
look.
Hand print easter bunny Use one colour of paint to paint your child’s
palm and their pointer finger and pinky.
Press onto a piece of paper. Allow to dry.
Allow your child to use markers to draw on
their bunny’s face.
Weaved easter egg card Fold an A4 piece of paper in half. On one side draw an egg
shape. Then draw vertical lines down the egg running from the
top to the bottom. The lines should be approx 1cm apart. Using a
paper knife, cut down the lines (An adult will need to do this
part). Don’t cut out anything else.
Using strips of coloured paper, wrapping paper or tissue paper,
weave the strips in and out of the egg from the inside of the card.
Once you have finished stick a piece of contact over the loose
papers. Write on the inside of the card and give to your family or
friends.
Fun Easter Crafts
Fun Easter GAMEs
27
Easter egg pop Place small chocolate eggs inside a bunch
of balloons and then blow them all up. Add
several more balloons without eggs in
them. Have the kids sit on the balloons or
pop them in other ways to retrieve the eggs
from the inside.
Egg hunt with a twist This is a fun game for smaller children who
love tactile play.
Fill a large bowl with rice, pearl cous cous
or small pasta. Mix in some small plastic or
chocolate easter eggs and have the children
run their hands through the rice to find the
hidden objects. Don’t forget that children
under three will need constant supervision
for this activity as the small objects could
pose a choking hazard.
Pin the egg in the basket Following along with the old favourite of
pin the tail on the donkey, here is pin the
egg in the basket. Simply print out a large
picture of a easter basket (we have one on
our website that you can use) and stick it
on the wall. Print out paper easter eggs, one
for each child playing. Using blue tac on
the back of the eggs, blindfold the children
and have them try to stick their eggs inside
the easter basket.
Easter scavenger hunt Hide a bunch of things around your back-
yard or a room in your house. Give the kids
a written list of all the things you have hid-
den (try to keep it easter themed) - items
could include easter eggs, toy rabbits or
chickens, an easter basket etc. Now have
them follow the list to find all the hidden
objects. You may even want to time them.
If you are really creative you could even
hide each item with a clue of where the
next item will be.
We would love to share your easter experi-
ences. Take a snapshot of your kids doing
an easter craft or game and post it on our
Facebook page!
Community Noticeboard Do you have a free play-
group, event or
program for families? List
them here on our
community noticeboard for
FREE! Email us.
RHYME TIME
Every Monday 10-11am
(except during school holidays: 23
December 2013 -
27 January 2014)
Rhymes, songs & craft for 18 months
- 3 years
Siblings welcome.
Central Library, Windsor
FREE - All welcome
28
Hawkesbury Regional Museum
8 Baker Street WINDSOR NSW 2756
Wednesday-Monday 10am-4pm
Closed Tuesday (except by appointment
for guided groups)
Public holidays: Closed Christmas Day,
Boxing Day and Good Friday.
Open 10am-4pm other public holidays
FREE ENTRY
(02) 4560 4655
www.hawkesbury.nsw.gov.au/museum
www.facebook.com/
PRE-SCHOOL STORYTIME
Central Library Windsor
every Tuesday 11am-12noon
Richmond Branch every Thursday
11am-12noon
(except during school holidays)
Themed stories, rhymes & craft for 3
- 5 years
Siblings welcome
FREE - All welcome
Our playgroup is open to all mums,
dads and carers.
Join us during the school term from
10am-12pm Tuesday, Thursday and
Friday. Lots of variety for parents and kids
with some fun day trips now and then.
Call us on 0414 377 266
Scribbles Playgroup is held at the
Church Vineyard in the Sunbeams
Room.
Cnr Windsor and Brenan Dams Road,
Vineyard.
Check out our webpage:
www.scribblesplaygroup.com
Business Directory
Shazam Photography
www.shazamphotography.com.au Ph: 0416 957 592
Mention this ad for a FREE 8x12 print with each package purchased
McGraths Hill Children’s Centre Inc
69 Andrew Thompson Dr, McGraths Hill Ph: 4587 7141 or email: mhcc@westnet.com.au
Open 6.30am-6.30pm
From birth to 6 years
Nutritious meals daily
Community based - Not for profit centre
Preschool transition programs
29
Cover photo is by Grapevine Photography
Photo page 7, 9, 17,19 is by www.freedigitalphotos.net Phone: 0415 216 186
Kids wear
Gift ideas
Cute accessories
Baby Shower
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