accountability and intervention for abusive men

Lundy Bancroft

Definition of Domestic Violence A pattern of coercive control that may be primarily

made up of psychological abuse, sexual coercion, or economic abuse, that is punctuated by one or more acts of frightening physical violence, credible threat of physical harm, or sexual assault.

BATTERER PROFILEConsistently true:

Coercively controllingEntitled/ Self-centeredBelieves he is the victimManipulative/ Good public image

BATTERER PROFILEConsistently true:

Skillfully dishonestDisrespectful, Superior, Depersonalizing

Good early in relationshipExternalizes responsibility

BATTERER PROFILEConsistently true:

Social isolation of the victim, and sometimes of the children as well)

Mentality of ownership, often including severe possessiveness

BATTERER PROFILEConsistently true:

DenialMinimizationLack of empathy for victim

BATTERER PROFILEConsistently true:

Punishes, retaliatesBatters seriallyDanger increases post separation

CONTRIBUTING FACTORSSubstance abuseMental illnessCommunity collusionLack of consequencesVictim-blaming

MYTHS ABOUT BATTERERSLoss of controlLack of educationPoor communication skillsLow self-esteemInsecurityPoor, ethnic minority

AREAS OF CONTROL

Arguments and decision-makingChild-rearingHer freedom of movement and associationLabor

AREAS OF CONTROL

FinancesSexualityHer freedom of speech and thoughtHer attention

TACTICS IN SEEKING ALLIESSeeking sympathyMinimizing seriousness of the offenseBlaming alcoholBonding with males against womenFlattering/flirting with females

TACTICS IN SEEKING ALLIESShifting blame to victimLyingPromising changeGetting people to pressure or criticize the

victimManipulating

ELEMENTS OF CHANGE

ConsequencesEducationConfrontationAccountability

CORE ISSUES

Power and controlSelfishnessDisrespectJustificationIntimidation (including violence)

Educating and Challenging Batterers

Demanding changeBuilding empathyFocusing on responsibility to the victim and her children

Collaborating with other systems

CRITICAL FEEDBACKPointing out controlling behavior Pointing out entitled attitudesTaking the woman’s sideSpeaking about the children’s experience of him

Questioning his stated motives / intentions

CRITICAL FEEDBACKChallenging his excuses and justifications

Showing what respectful behavior would be

Pointing out disrespect for his partner Challenging him about the effects he has had on his partner and children

Asking him to meet his responsibilities

PROCESS OF CHANGE

Full disclosureAcceptance of responsibilityRelinquishing excusesDevelopment of empathy

PROCESS OF CHANGE

Identifying pattern of coercive controlIdentifying abusive attitudesDevelopment of empathy for childrenMaking amends

PROCESS OF CHANGE

Developing respectful behaviorsAccepting consequences of his actionsCommitting to lifelong change

Educating and Challenging Batterers

Firm, respectful confrontationEducational styleNon-inflammatoryAvoiding collusion

HOLDING BATTERERS ACCOUNTABLE

Close monitoring and supervisionAvoiding collusionPressing him to deal with his abusivenessDon’t take his word on his progress or

behaviorMaintain relationship with victim

HOLDING BATTERERS ACCOUNTABLE

Imposing new consequences for new abusive behaviors

Taking the victim’s side

Remaining connected to the abuser if possible

REDUCING RISK

Perform danger/lethality assessment

Maintain confidentiality of victim’s address

REDUCING RECIDIVISM

Avoid diversion whenever possibleIncarcerate the battererSplit sentence where statute permitsRevoke probation quickly when violations occur

REDUCING RECIDIVISM

Accelerate trial process as much as possibleAddress any substance abuse issuesRequire rapid starting of batterer intervention

programRefer victim to services for self and children

REDUCING RECIDIVISM

See The Criminal Justice Response to Domestic Violence by Andrew Klein, retired probation officer.

INTERVENTIONS TO AVOID

Conjoint counseling or mediationAnger managementSubstance abuse treatment as a substitute for legal

consequences and batterer intervention services.Diversion

Effects on children of exposure to batteringChild abuse prevention

Effects of physical abuse/”physical discipline”Alternate approaches to disciplineEffects of sexual abuse and boundary violationsProper respect for children’s boundariesEffects of verbal abuseHaving age-appropriate expectations

Working with Batterers on Parenting

Proper co-parentingRespecting the children’s motherRespecting her maternal authoritySharing decision-makingModeling respect for femalesModeling accepting responsibility for one’s actions

Working with Batterers on Parenting

Working with Batterers on Parenting

Interventions to avoid with batterers Teaching skills for gaining children’s trust Teaching skills to get children to open up emotionally Teaching insight into children’s private thoughts and

feelings Teaching the importance of fathers in children’s lives

Contributing to Children’s RecoveryAdvocate for your clients’ children

Assist mothers with custody and visitation litigation

Write effective reports for courts about the children

Offer information to mothers (partners of clients) about their children and how to assist them

Don’t help clients to seek custody or visitation or to find attorneys

Contributing to Children’s RecoveryAdvocate for your clients’ children

Work with CPS on holding the abuser accountable and offering appropriate supportive assistance to the mother

Don’t write reports for client’s attorneys, or for the clients themselves – reports should always be addressed directly to the court