a gold medal book from help magazine 1962

HARVEY KURTZMAN'S

FAST-ACTING

HELP! GUARANTEED MORE HABIT-FORMINGTHAN ANY OTHER FAST-ADDICTING DRUG

For fast, fast, fast relief from blues, boredomand banality, here is a collection of uncensored

impudence culled from the crazy pages of HELP!,the star satire magazine.

Created by Harvey Kurtzman, the man whobrought satire to the man in the street and ele-

vated the comic strip to an art form, HELP!pokes thinking man's fun at practically everyone—from Kennedy to Castro, from Tarzan to

Tonto, from the typing pool to the status seeker.

HELP! milks all manner of sacred cows, kids the

pants off movies, TV, pretty girls, Broadwayproducers, big business, and gives the final proofthat levity is the soul of wit.

This book is dedicated to:

Tony AhearneChuck Alverson

Orson BeanBurt Bernstein

Bob BlechmanRay Bradbury

Algis Budrys

Knox Burger

Sid Caesar

Nona Candler

Jack Carter

Harry Chester

Paul CokerJack Davis

Peter de Vries

Hugh DownsJim Durst

Don EdwingWill Eisner

Will Elder

Don Ellefson

Robert Elliot

Ed Fisher -

Phil FordStan Freberg

John G. Fuller

Gerry Gardner

Dave Garroway

Bill GelbandWoody Gellman

Paul Glaser

Jackie Gleason

Norm Glovsky

Bob GrossmanRon Harris

Marc Hiesler

Bill HelmerMimi Hines

Art HydePhil Interlandi

Frank Interlandi

Al Jaffee

Will Jordan

Milt KamenJan Kindler

George Kirgo

Ernie KovacsNancy KovackBruce Krefting

Jerry Lewis

Jane MasonLaurie MathewsGerry MatthewsHarry McDonnellPaul MertaRobert MertzSylvia Miles

Ron Miller

Bill MurphyJerry NachmanDawn Nickerson

Dean Norman

Tony Palladino

Shirley Peterson

Tom Poston

Roger Price

Larry RichmanRon Rojas

Mike Rokofi

Arnold RothMort Sahl

Stewart Schwartzberg

Rod Serling

Jack Severin

David Shaber

Jean Shepherd

Robert Sheckley

Shel Silverstein

Bernie Shir-Cliff

Gloria Steinem

Dick Van DykeRoy Walters

Don WatsonRichard Weckler

Don Wheeler

Barbara Wilkin

Max Williams

Mary Louise Wilson

Gahan Wilson

Jonathan Winters

Jack Wohl

Who all helped HELP!

INTRODUCTION

I think it was Sam Goldwyn who, whengiving an opinion on "message" movies

said the following immortal words: "Youwant to send a message—call Western

Union." While I have kept this deathless

axiom posted in front of me on my bul-

letin board in Da-Glo, I secretly like to

think I've been that foolish as not to have

subscribed to Mr. Goldwyn's advice

100%. This collection of 160 pages of

foolishness is chock filled with sneaky

messages and represents a year of HELP!from which we have skimmed the cream

of HELPi's photos and cartoons for youand here's what we've got.

For those of you who remember MADMagazine in 1952, you will find here the

cartoons of Davis and Elder who helped

me to shape the original Mad format.

You will also see the cartoons or Ed

Fisher, one of America's finest cartoon

satirists. You will see Coker, Murphy,

Wilson, Thaler ... all excellent cartoon-

ists, current. And we also have great car-

toonists past , lite Kley and Leonnec.

You'll find Wohl's Wohlnuts.

You'll find Milt Kamen and Dick Van

Dyke acting in our posed picture "fumet-

tis." This exclusive picture -story tech-

nique is one we borrowed from Italy

where fumetlis (puffs of smoke) have

been wildly popular for years. . . .

And you will find a careful compen-

dium of captioned stock shots pains-

takingly garnered from vast collections

of Hollywood stills, Broadway photos,

publicity shots, and the wire photo serv-

ices of UPI and AP.

And if we tried to tell you what we've

included from the year of HELP! you

should see what we didn't have room for.

As I said in my opening, this is a col-

lection of the kind of humor that has

foolishly concerned itself with messages.

We have tried to be funny too and if

while you are reading, you are laughing

while you are reading and you are think-

ing while you are reading," this little col-

lection will have served its purpose.

—Harvey Kurtzman

September 1961

HARVEY KURTZMAN'S

H8LP!

A GOLD MEDAL BOOKFrom HELP! Magazine

which is edited by

Harvey Kurtzman

and published by

James Warren

OF AMERICAN

GOLD MEDAL BOOKSFAWCETT PUBLICATIONS, INC.,

GREENWICH, CONN.

PUBLISHERS COUNCIL, INC.

Copyright © 1961 by HELP ! Magazine, Inc.

Second printing February 1962

All rights reserved, including the right to

reproduce this book or portions thereof.

All characters in this book are factional

and any resemblance to persons living or dead

is purely incidental.

Printed in the United States of America

DOPGATCH 1smrK

J—' -L. V^X 11 V^J-J. J KLINE BISSELL, AUTHOR! TO VISIT OZARK KIN .

REVISITEDBY Ed Fisher and Will Elder

"Hillbillu Bdli;-." ccimedl&S . Fresh from his Holly-wood tfiu-mphs and the sensational London open-ing Of the 11 luteal --comedi. version of his tales,Mr.Bissefl will be oiitoi-tamed at the house of hiscousins , Mr. £- Mrs. Shane Bissell.wheia mn. old -fash-ioned covered, dish dinner and a square, dance he

vsiIbn iatommen, es tonnte Hiit

binaus= and unter die Kegel /richie+e; oder menu el- denauf-faincMTi tchon f r-iflerteti^fmenn ein Wagen-

DOPGATCH, T

HAVE RETURNED!Je suig recidiuus!

Ich bin hyar!

Wal, wal,

wall CousinKlinel Ben nigh

n twenty years senceJ

yo1

done pay us

a viait!

Mean-'

while, we ben ^i-follerin' yore 1

stories in th'

Sat EvePost

'fANKEEm

-Mahyoungest

boy Jeff's fixin'

t'be a writer, too.

[ Sez he's tryiu' t'win

suthin' called the'

. Free Gonkaor!

EXCITING FASHION IDEA

LA VIE PARIS1ENNE —1900

— THE ANKLE WATCH — A daring proposal to place

a time-piece in the buckle of Milady's shoe —

GETTING UP"O dear — noontime already."

THE COCKTAIL HOUR"Woopsl I think it's time to leave."

11 PENNSy STRIPA short fantasy proving truth is indeed stranger than fiction . . . especially if you fake it.

END

II

it's ux/ety,

mmIt M/B

/

Bttrrvou'r ,

-eu we maiMdPO You KMX"A <3e«>

\

In, me- houmro.

/

TUSK'S So MUCH

/

III

STEVE 5URRYHNE Princeton Tiger

STEVE SURRYHNE

The thrill of love's a chill that's warm,

a trembling through and through.

Ob heart be still! You have no will.

She looking right at you!

Less interlude— things truer viewed.

You swiftly take ber in;

'neath lowered lid, observe the legs

. . . uncomfortably thin.

You both converge. Details emerge

from make-up's subterfuge.

You lift your gaze to tilted nose

. . . uncomfortably huge.

These ill facts are but knowledge

and knowledge is but truth.

She ope's her mouth to ask the time

Yes , , , spaces twixt each tooth.

This poorly perfumed country now

first-banded, you explore,

find wrinkles in abundance

and blemishes galore.

And through the spaces, breathing stale—

Red mouth! Blonde hair! Oh each

Are faded, faded as you leave

her fading voice (a screech).

So what, we say, is beauty

depends on what's in sight.

And who's a dear at fifty feet—

close-up may be a fright.

*

P.S.

If you would love the ladies,

listen carefully to me

Don't put them in a microscope.

Don't strip their mystery.

True ...by detailed observation,

understanding off is won.

Yet ignorance breeds mystery

And a bell dam— sight more fun!

-H.K.

CIVIL WAR VIGNETTES by Jack Davis

Help! presents DICK VAN DYKE, mobile-faced star of Broadway musical "Bye-Bye Birdie", as sports-car-sport of

in5 You was waving^I2waved...M »t^ car. §»

^^^^ It a a cour- JHb

1 ^^What^M|H ' are you S^fayJ

doing?

^Z£Jf • fI^^KJr 4 ' ISBHHIi

TENS!?

NERVOUS?TIRED?HAD HELP!

AND It! LAX

see? you're feeling

better already