3. exploring relationships

EXPLORING RELATIONSHIPS

Renee Mill• Occupational Therapist B.Sc OT (1975),

University of Witwatersrand• Clinical Psychologist MA (Clin Psych)

(1982), University of Witwatersrand• Been in private practice since 1982• Arrived in Australia July 1997

Renee Mill

Why did Moses spend 40 years wandering in the desert? He refused to ask for directions.

Women do not mind asking for advice, it is a form of bonding and building trust. Men see it as admitting he made a mistake which does not fit having just slayed the dragon.

Boys compete, girls co-operate.

1999 Survey of 1000 telephone users in Britain revealed what men and women talk about.

Men WomenFriends 30% 53%Sex/relationships 18% 22%Work 25% 11%Sports 16% 2%Other 11% 12%Time <5 minutes >15 minutes

Women value relationships, men value work. A man is a lunch-chaser and problem solver, a woman is a nest defender.

Stressed women talk, and talk and talk, and talk and talk. Her talk is unstructured and several subjects can be discussed at any one time without any conclusion being reached. British Medical Association women have 16,000 words per day.

Women talking drive men mad because they think they have to solve every problem and feel they are nagging.

A man talks inside his head and clams up when he is stressed. Men speak 7,000 words per day.

For women, shopping is like talking, no specific objective and can take hours. A man needs an objective, a target and a timetable. He wants to make a kill and take it home.

It is not personal. Men and women are different and complement each other. Educate yourself and you can be happy.

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Questions & Answers• Ask Renee any questions you may

have• Alternatively you can email them to renee@anxietysolutionscbt.com.