2015-04-23 the courage to communicate - effective leadership

The Courage to Communicate: Effective Leadership

Ann W. Rosser, CEO, Finding Resolution

Thrive. Grow. Achieve.

April 23, 2015

Ann Rosser, CEO, Finding Resolution

Dealing With Conflict

Overview

Conflict in the Workplace Symptoms of Conflict Your conflict style Influence on employee engagement Building trust Active listening

Conflict in the Workplace

What causes it? How do you deal with it?

“The people to fear are not those who

disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too cowardly to let you know.”

Napoleon Bonaparte

Causes of Conflict

lack of defined roles, lack of understanding of duties, lack of time, tools, or temperament to complete tasks and

individuals’ agendas in opposition to organizational goals.

Conflict Left Unmanaged Leaves a business in a state of constantly

dealing with issues rather than managing the organization’s goals.

Hoping it will go away allows it to fester into

a larger conflict, involve more co-workers than the original dispute and hurt the organizational culture.

Symptoms of Unresolved Conflict Stress frustration and anxiety Loss of Sleep Strained relationships Grievances and litigation Employee turnover Loss of productivity Absenteeism

Recommendations for Conflict-Safe Work Environment

Never allow conflict to become personal Reward, recognize and thank individuals

willing to take a stand and support their position

Expect individuals to support with data and facts

Provide training in healthy conflict and steps in mediating a conflict

Don’t play favorites. Not wrong to like

some more than others. It is wrong to act on that in an unfair manner.

Talk to individuals one-on-one. See how things are going from their viewpoint.

One of the most common things that allows

conflicts to grow and escalate is assumptions – that other people won't understand, won't be reasonable, don't want to resolve things, etc. The first step to resolution is asking questions with curiosity, rather than making assumptions.

Conflict

The goal of organizational leadership is not to eliminate conflict but to use it. Conflict is a predictable social phenomenon

and should be channeled to useful purposes.

“A good manager doesn’t try to eliminate

conflict; he/she tries to keep it from wasting the energies of his/her people. If you’re the boss and your people fight you openly when they think you are wrong –that’s healthy.”

Robert Townsend CEO of Avis Rent a Car

If there is conflict or dissention in your

department, look at your own actions. Do you, either verbally or non-verbally send

messages that it is not okay to disagree or Do you put individuals “on the spot” when

they express their opinion?

Observe closely the interactions among

employees and what is going on Ask individuals for how you are perceived

handling conflict

Conflict Involves

Emotions – What you feel is important Perceptions – What you see at stake Behaviors – How you act with others

Conflict Assessment for Natural Style

Accommodate Avoid Compromise Collaborate Compete

1. A Accommodate B Avoid 2. A Collaborate B Compete 3. A Compromise B Avoid 4. A Avoid B Collaborate 5. A Compromise B Accommodate 6. A Collaborate B Compromise 7. A Compete B Avoid 8. A Collaborate B Compromise

9. A Accommodate B Compete 10. A Compromise B Avoid 11. A Collaborate B Accommodate 12. A Avoid B Accommodate 13. A Compete B Compromise 14. A Compete B Collaborate 15. A Accommodate B Compete

Styles

Accommodate (I Lose, You Win) Avoid (I Lose, You Lose) Compromise (We Both Win, We Both Lose) Compete (I Win, You Lose) Collaborate (I Win, You Win)

Accommodate (I Lose, You Win)

Putting aside your needs and desires and acquiescing to the other person’s requests/demands.

Appropriate:

• When a high value is placed on your relationship with the other party.

• When outcome is of low importance to you, but is of high importance to the other party.

Avoid (I Lose, You Lose)

Side-stepping or withdrawing from the conflict situation. When you prevent/postpone conflict, it remains unresolved and neither party wins.

Compromise (We Both Win, We Both Lose)

Resolving the conflict quickly and efficiently by seeking a fair and equitable split between the two positions. Each side concedes on some of their issues in order to win others. Both parties must be flexible and willing to settle for a satisfactory resolution of their major issue.

Compete (I Win, You Lose)

Seeking to win your position at the expense of the other party losing theirs. Appropriate when only one party can achieve their desired outcome. Best used when outcome is extremely important and relationship is of low importance.

Collaborate (I Win, You Win) Cooperating with the other party to try to resolve a common problem to a mutually satisfying outcome. When you join with the other party to compete against the situation, instead of each other. Each side must feel that the outcomes gained through collaboration are better than they could achieve on their own.

Style Most Advantageous

Based on:

Importance of relationship Importance of outcome

What Does This Mean?

Dependent on importance to you or organization to “R” or “O” ----

You may have to choose styles that are

beyond your “comfort area” default style.

Five Conflict-Handling Styles Collaborate

I Win,You Win

AccommodateI Lose,

You Win

CompromiseWe Both Win,We Both Lose

AvoidI Lose,

You Lose

CompeteI Win,

You Lose

HIGH

MEDIUM

LOW

HIGHMEDIUMLOWImportance of outcome

Impo

r tanc

e of

rela

tions

h ip

Conflict Gaps

In most workplaces because skills not there for collaboration

Ideal mix of styles in healthy workplaces: 75% Collaborate No more than 25% for Compete,

Compromise, Accommodate and Avoid

How To Achieve Better Outcomes

Build Trust….. gradually

Avoid Assumptions Determine Expectations Better Listening ---passive, active, questioning

Motivation --- underlying interests

Building Trust Let people know what is expected

of them.

Decide on the limits of your trust.

Lead the way.

Build trust gradually.

Listening Errors

Failure to hear clearly

Failure to communicate clearly

Failure to “hear between the lines”

Listening Strategies Passive listening

Active listening

Questioning

Looking for inconsistencies or underlying interests

Interests & Concerns

What are their core concerns?

What is their motivation?

How can their interests be satisfied?

Creativity Creativity helps to:

Think of new and different alternatives

Think of new strategies to advance your cause

Redefine the situation

Self-awareness - What is your default style? What do you have to do to change? What is your motivation? Are you making assumptions? Have you gathered the facts? Are you establishing trust?

Conflict resolution in the workplace and

creating a safe place for debate can be: complicated time-consuming exasperating

However, when correctly: worthwhile productive expanding

What Are You Going To Do Differently?

Employee Engagement

People don’t quit jobs. They quit bosses.

Coaching

Coaching – rather than “telling”: - Motivates - Leads to better teamwork - Greater engagement – ownership - Uncovers potential

Engagement

Communication Listening Feedback Dealing with conflict Empathy

“Our success is due, in part, to not just an

ability but a willingness to look at things differently” Michael Dell

Leading Yourself

1. Attitude 2. Self-Awareness 3. Specifics of Goal Achievement

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference” Winston Churchill

Your attitude is the foundation for your success

in any area. What you do is influenced by how you think, and your thoughts reflect your most basic attitude.

One of the things that allow an individual to become successful is his or her attitude. Successful

people don’t have any fewer problems than unsuccessful

people; they just have a different mindset in dealing with them.

Self-Awareness Communication Styles of Communication DISC D – Decisive I - Interactive S - Stabilizing C - Cautious

“ The art of communication is the language of leadership.” -James Hume, professor, speechwriter

Successful Communicators

Identify difficult situations Are aware and understanding Other person’s point of view, filters Adapt their style and messaging

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place”

George Bernard Shaw

The first step to getting what you want is to communicate your thoughts so you are understood.

Most problems at work are a result of poor

communication.

Communication is an Art, Not a Science

There is no absolute right or wrong way to

communicate effectively. What is most important is that you communicate in a manner and style most comfortable and

effective for the situation and results.

Effective communication is a two-way process in which there is an exchange and progression and ultimately understanding of ideas toward a mutually accepted direction or goal. Basic Elements:

Speaker Listener Message Medium Feedback/Reply

Communication Goals

To get and give information

To persuade

To ensure understanding

To get action

To change behavior

Information Richness & Media Type

Face-to-face communication

Verbal communication electronically transmitted

Personally addressed Written communication

Impersonal written communication

High Richness

Low Richness

Engagement Model

Ask questions Ask for feedback Provide detailed feedback 80/20 Listen

Empathy

Not sympathy Does not show weakness Have to listen Reframe Understand/Acknowledgement

Listening Tips

Paraphrase the message to the speaker in order to confirm your understanding.

Repeat the message to help you remember what was said.

Probe for missing information. Remember the most important points of the

message for future application. Act upon the message as necessary.

Types of Feedback

• Formal—documented annual/semiannual performance review

• Informal—day-to-day communication and feedback about performance

Levels of Feedback

• None at all • Negative only • Positive only • Balanced

The Default Performance Feedback System

“If you don’t hear anything, you are doing just fine but if you screw

up we’ll let you know!”

Lack of effective feedback is one of the

biggest reasons for lack of engagement

What causes lack of effective feedback?

Engagement Model More Trust Openness Ownership Versatility Influence Action

Engagement Model Less • Control • Channels • Routine • Position power • Analysis • Bureaucracy

Causes of Conflict at Work Miscommunication The employee either did not receive the message or received only part of a message, or the message was delivered in a way that may have been misinterpreted. Different Interpretations The employee believes that adherence to rules, policies, or procedures should be carried out in one way, while the actual intent or the rule, policy, or procedure is something else entirely. Different Values The employee has less regard than others for a specific task or duty and does not attach importance to its value. Opposing Goals The goals of the company or supervisor are directly opposed to those of the employee.

Conflict Strategies Win/Win—Collaboration • Both parties achieve their goals

o Example: Working together, an acceptable resolution is reached that helps everyone concerned regarding a conflict.

Win/Lose—Competition • One person is defeated • Example: Employee’s request or complaint is denied

without reason.

Conflict Strategies (Cont.) Lose/Lose—Avoidance Neither parties achieves its goals. Example: Employee quits because of perceived problems

at work.

Lose/Win—Give in One person gives in. Example: Supervisor not enforcing rules.

Reasons for Poor Performance

• Lack of communication leads to: • Lack of trust • Lack of respect

Basic Rules About Managing Performance

1.Set Expectations 2. Always expect excellent

performance. 3. Never let poor work go unnoticed or

performance issues go unchallenged.

Team Leader’s Responsibilities

• Train team members to work together • Identify potential obstacles • Suggest procedures or ideas for solving a problem • Help get information • Give input • Help the team progress • Monitor progress • Recognize and reward results

Types of Difficult Team Members

• The reluctant team member • The defiant team member • The dominant team member • The absentee team member • The vacationer team member

Characteristics of an Engaged Team Player

1. Openly shares feelings, opinions, thoughts, and perceptions about problems and issues relating to the team.

2. When listening, attempts to hear and interpret communication from sender’s point of view.

3. Utilizes resources, ideas, and suggestions of other team members.

4. Trusts and supports other team members, encouraging their growth and development.

5. Understands and is committed to team objectives.

Characteristics of an Engaged Team Player (Cont.)

6. Acknowledges and works through conflict openly, by respecting and being tolerant of individual differences.

7. Makes decisions based on information only, rather than being influenced by peer pressure.

8. Provides ideas and suggestions to the team leader that are helpful to the team.

9. Always strives for a win/win solution. 10. Strives for consensus on team decisions.

Key To Change

Desire Reinforced by conviction that goals and priorities are correct

Fern, please make this slide – Slide no. 21 from the “Famous” slide set in drop box.

Pls. do not include text at bottom. Just picture and quote.

Fern – Please make this slide using Slide #24 from Invest In your Future set of slides.

IT is the picture of the ocean with the first word “Focus”

What Are You Going To Do Differently?

Ann Rosser, CEO, Finding Resolution arosser@findingresolution.net 703-536-6915