amitoj singh pg20111014

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Journal forSocialEmotionalIntelligence.Submitted By: Amitoj singh (PG2011014)

Submitted To: ___Aparna kaushik___

Date of Submission: __7th april 2012__________


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Social Emotional Intelligence:It is the New Science of Interpersonal Effectiveness.Anyone can become angry, that is easy. But to be angry with the right

person to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose,

And in the right way, is not that easy.

Intelligence is typically focused on: analytic reasoning, verbal skills,

spatial ability, attention, memory, judgement

Emotional Intelligence (EI):The propensity for interpreting our own feelings and those of others, for

motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and

in our relationships.

Emotions can be viewed: Chaotic Haphazard Superfluous Incompatible with reason

Disorganized largely visceral resulting from the lack of effective adjustment


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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TEST

Sr. no. Statement Always

Usually

Sometimes

Rarely

Never

score

1 Im aware of evensubtle feelings as I havethem

2 I find myself using myfeelings to help makebig decisions in life

3 Bad moods overwhelmme

4 When Im angry, Iblow my top or fume in

silence5 I can delay gratification

in pursuit of my goalsinstead of gettingcarried away byimpulse

6 When Im anxiousabout a challenge, suchas a test or public talk, Ifind it difficult toprepare well

7 Instead of giving up inthe face of setbacks ordisappointments, I stayhopeful and optimistic

8 People dont have totell me what they feelI can sense it

9 My keen sense of

others feelings makesme compassionateabout their plight

10 I have trouble handlingconflict and emotionalupsets in relationships

11 I can sense the pulse ofa group or arelationship and stateunspoken feelings.

12 I can soothe or contain


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distressing feelings sothey dont keep mefrom doing things Ineed to do

scoring

Category Scoring Reverse scoringAlways 0 4Usually 1 3Sometimes 2 2Rarely 3 1Never 4 0

Reverse scoring for: 1,2,5,7,8,9,11,12

The score within the range of 30-44 is average emotional intelligence.

Exercise 1:Emotional Continuum

Take a look at some of the emotions below andthink about times when you experienced thesefeelings and what it felt like.Aggression:Many times I suffered from this sort of emotion.I rememberd oneinstance,when I was playing finals of interstate championship of table tennis,theopposition was showing aggrevieness and putting a lot of pressure. Due towhich I too later on came out with same emotion i. e. aggression .This wouldcome out as a very good lifetime example whenever I suffer from this sort of situation and will surely boost me up.I become aggressive when something or

any topic is in concern with my self pride and self esteem.Boredom: Generally this emotion is directly proportionate tolonelinessin my life. To avoid this, I prefer to remain busy in academic andrecreational activities,prefer to remain with my family members as much aspossible.Disgust:I felt very much diswgusted when someone uses abusive language (in

concern with family)to the other person while talking. Few days ago i saw twopeople were fighting and meanwhile using very cheap abusive language inrelation to their families.


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Fear:Whenever word fear comes to my mind, only I thing clicked to my mindthat I hv a fear of going away from my family members,this emotion camewhen I was coming for MBA in delhi.I am very much emotionally especiallywith my mom.

Happiness: Its the best feeling a person can enjoy. When my best friendbecome got married as he was very alone and living very boring life. I felt reallyvery happy as he is very close to me.Loneliness:Loneliness is the worst experience in life as no one can live inisolation. One needs to be interactive and should have a networking.Rejection:This emotion comes very rare in my mind,as I accept every thingthough there would be problems. Because from problems we learn and performbetter in further tasks.Confidence:I am confident of what I want to do as I want to take finance asmy majors. Whatever I think, I always do that. I hear everybody but do thatthing which I feel is best according to me.Enjoyment:I am a fun loving guy who really wants to enjoy every bit of mylife and this would be possible only when I have been with my family membersand my entertaining friendsGrief:When my mother met with an accident and suffered from severe pain,my family and relatives were in grief as my mother ensured and build a lot ofaffection in the heart of everyone and I love her like anything.Hate:I hate liars as I never lie and dont want anyone to lie with me. In mypost graduation my friend told the faculty that he did the entire project on his

own which he didnt.Love:love is a best feeling which a person can get but when he is losing it thenhe would not stand the way he use to. If you provide love then only expect lovefrom other side otherwise not.Anxiety:I am a very anxious person. What I want I really try to get it as soonas possible.Pride:There was a moment which I cant forget as when I was in my 12thclass I convinced my mom and dad that brother truly love one girl and she toobelong to our religion and of our kind. I got success in this talk and my brother

said that I am very much proud to have a younger brother like you . That wasthe pride moment for me.


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Exercise 2:

Identify the Emotions...

1)

This couple looking all messedup and confused.

2)

This lady is into daydreaming. She is looking to be of a very creative mind.


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3)

In this clipart lady is looking as if she isgiving some kind of an excuse or an explanation ormaybe she is scolding children.

4)

These children are very impoliteand inhuman as they are laughing on a child who isalone.


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5)

This couple is very much excited and full of life

6)

These two children are totally

messed up as how to solve the puzzles.


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7)

This boy is verymischievious.

8) These guys are having

fun as they share same mental mind.

9)


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This girl is feeling that she

is being left out by her class mates.

10)

They are getting scaredas may be they have seen something scary.

11)

Here player is boosting some

other player and making himself realise that there

may be a hope of winning .


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What qualities or characteristics do you want to possess by the

time you complete your PGP?

Qualities that I would like to possess are:

Analytical skills Ability to build large network of people Convincing skills Being confident when put in a social environment new to me

Exercise 3:

1) Think of a person for whom or withwhom you worked - one that you wouldgladly work with or for again.

ANS:When I joined my articleship in CA training , I

learned a lot from that trainer,taught me in each andevery step and more than that he understood me likeanything. He liked my idea and way of doing auditsand I liked his way of working the things in easymanner.If I get a change to work with him again I willundoubtedly will work and love working with him.

2) Think of a person in a leadershipposition that you try to avoid, or left youdrained, or hoping for more.

ANS:I want to start my this answer with a person whois Dhirubhai ambani. I guess everybody knows him. Heis a person who was very innovative. We people hopethat he should still be alive as we hope for moreinnovations.


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Exercise 6:

Social Skill Test from Qeeendom.com and analysis about self social skills. (print

Exercise 7:

PERSONAL ACTION PLAN

Ans: Writing about Self: Differentiating between your real self and perceived

self:

REAL SELF:

I tend to take life and events quite seriously. I like to dig deep into what interest me. I

take peoples feedback positively and think of ways to improve myself. I likeexperimenting new things and approaching a problem/situation in a new way. I

always prefer some fixed guidelines or deadlines for what I do. Im very comfortable

is saying a direct no to people when required. Im a sensitive person who gives

importance to personal values while taking an important decision.

PERCEIVED SELF:

Since Im a sensitive person and understand others perspective, many of my friends

come and share their problems with me because they trust me that I will not disclose

their problems to others. They say that I make them feel comfortable with me. I takethings in my life seriously, this makes others to think that I dont enjoy my life and


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there is no fun & excitement in my life. People have a perception about me that Im

straight forward. Whatever I feel about a person, I state clearly to that person.

CASE ANALYSIS:

PLEASE SUGGEST

One of your colleagues at work looks upset and asks if you will eat lunch with him. A

t the cafeteria, he motions for you to sit away from the other diners. After a few minut

es of slow conversation, he says that he wants to talk to you about whats on his mind.

He tells you that he lied on his rsum about having a college degree. Without the de

gree, he wouldnt have gotten the job.

Which of the following would be most likely to result in having your colleague imme

diately feel better about the situation?

1. Ask him how he feels about it so you can understand whats

going on.

2. Offer to help him, but dont push yourself on him if he reallydoesnt want your help.

3. Have him share all the possible negative consequences of

his act.Get him to work through what the worst outcome could be so he

realizes that the situation may not be as bad as he thinks.

4. Quickly change the subject and do not deal with his issue right now.

Getting his mind off the problem is the best thing to do

PES SCALE ANALYSIS:

1. I find it difficult to be frank with people unless I know them very well.__4______

2. I listen carefully to others peoples opinions about my behaviour.__4______

3. I tend to say things that turn out to be out of place.__2______

4. Generally, I hesitate to express my feelings to others._3_______

5. When someone directly tells me how he feels about my behavior, I tend to close up

and stop listening.___0_____


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6. On hindsight, I regret why I said something tactlessly. (On looking back, I regret

why I said something that was thoughtless).__4______

7. I am quite strong in expressing my opinions in a group or to a person, even if this

may be unacceptable.___4_____

8. I take steps to find out how my behavior has been perceived by the person with

whom I have been interacting.__3______

9. I deliberately observe how a person will take what I am going to tell him, and

accordingly communicate to him. (I consciously observe how people feel about what I

am going to

tell them and accordingly adapt what I say).____3____

10. When someone discusses his problem, I do not spontaneously share my

experiences and personal problems, of a similar nature with him. (When people

discuss their problems, I do not freely/impulsively share my experiences and personal

problems of a similar nature

with them).___3_____

11. If people criticize me, I hear them at that time but do not bother myself about it

later.___3_____

12. I fail to pick up cues about the feelings and reactions of others when I am involved

in an argument or a conversation. (I fail to pick up hints about other peoples feelings

and reactions when I am involved in an argument or a conversation).__3______

13. I enjoy talking with others about my personal concerns and matters.__2______

14. I value what people have to say about my style, behavior, etc.__4______

15. I am often surprised to discover or be told that people were put off, bored or

annoyed when I thought they were enjoying interacting with me. (I am often surprised

to discover or be told that people were driven away, bored or annoyed, while I

actually thought that they were enjoying interacting with me).___2_____


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Score Sheet

Statement Grade Statement Grade Statement Grade

*1 (0) 2 (4) *3 (2)

*4 (1) *5 (4) *6(0)

7 (4) 8 (3) 9(3)

*10 (1) *11 (1) *12 (1)

13 (2) 14 (4) *15 (2)

Total (8) Total (16) Total (8)

Self-disclosure Openness to Feedback Perceptiveness

EXERCISE 8: TARUN'S THINKING

Tarun was laid off from work, along with several other employees,

because of a business slowdown. He felt bummed out, worried, angry,

and guilty, and he became quite depressed. He kept thinking, Im a born

loser. Im letting my family down.

QUES 1) how do you think these thoughts made him feel?

ANS 1) Since he has been laid off, he must be feeling like a loser.

He must be filled with all negative thoughts about himself. He is

emotionally disturbed. He must be blaming his fate.

Ques 2) Can you see where his thinking is distorted or

inaccurate?

Ans 2) he is thinking that since he is being laid off from the job, he

is a born loser and letting his family down. But this is not therealty. Since it is the depression period, every company goes for


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firing the employed to cut costs. Company has laid him off not

because of his inefficiency but because company wants to reduce

their human resource cost. He is not only the person who has been

laid off. There are several other employees as well who have been

laid off. Instead of creeping himself, he should accept the harshreality of life and find some other job for himself. One failure in

life does not make a person, loser. He should keep courage and

find another job for himself.

Ques 3) What thoughts would you suggest he think instead?

Ans 3) he should understand that company has laid him off not because

of his poor performance but because company wants to reduce its

expenditure in the time of depression. There is no mistake of his that heis creeping about. Instead of getting de-motivated he should understand

that he has a family responsibility on him. So he should keep courage

and strength and try to find some other job to sustain his family. Thus

he should be thinking about his family rather than getting depressed.

6 Hats Self Development Plan:


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I want to correlate this six hats with the movie3Idiots

The WHITE Hat = Facts and Data :

If we relate this to the movie 3 Idiots when amirkhan ask boman irani as who is accountable for thedeath of the boy, boman irani was questioned by

him.

The RED Hat = Feelings / Intuition :

In 3 Idiots the three of the idiots were so attachedto one another that they have generated feelings foreach other.

The BLACK Hat = Issues / Concerns :

According to Amir Khan, the issue which arousedwas that every person is different from one another.You cant force anyone to make their career as youwant. Whatever they feel is good for them, theywill choose that.


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The Yellow Hat = Benefits :

In the movie 3 Idiots the two idiots R. Madhwanand Shraman Joshi got benefitted by Amir Khanas they choose their career as what they havedreamt of to be in life. Amir Khan helped them and

was the best buddy for them. He can do anythingfor friendship that what we call friends withbenefits.

The GREEN Hat = New ideas Possibilities:

In the movie 3 Idiots the person who really expelnovel ideas and who was very innovative wasRancho (Amir Khan).

As he delivered the baby with the vacuum cleaner.

The BLUE Hat = Managing the Thinking:

The movie 3 idiots circulates around

only one person i.e. Rancho who is the

gem of college,capable of performing

each and every task which ever was

given to them.This picture solely


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highlights the great thinking of

Rancho.

amitoj singh pg20111014

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